I Start with a Bad Hand!

‘Why does Hayden have this?’ 

If something that shouldn’t be here is hidden away in such a suspicious place, how am I supposed to interpret this situation? While I was confused by these seemingly unrelated pieces of information, Agnes, as if reading my mind, asked, “Why does this senior have it?”

Indeed. And it’s a letter addressed to no one other than Cedric. 

It was a strange combination of people who seemed to have no connection at all. Then Agnes pointed to a part of the letter and said, “There’s something about you here.”

“About me?”

Before I could read it, Agnes, in an unusually low and dramatic voice, began to read aloud. “She wrote, ‘Your sibling’s hair is as fiercely magnificent as the black wolves of the wilderness.’ Isn’t that about you?”

Black… wolf? I squinted in disbelief at such a wild metaphor for a newborn. Agnes, insisting it was written there, showed me the passage. The handwriting, identical to what Godwin had shown us, accompanied by a drawing that resembled a cat or a seal, looked like a black wolf in context.

‘Calling a newborn a black wolf, Mother….’

The letter was filled with the Duchess’s tender and humorous accounts of why she had to leave Cedric and return to her hometown, her sadness over it, and her eagerness to see him again soon. Despite its brevity, the letter had a captivating power that drew both of us in, and we read it thoroughly.

“She seems like a wonderful person.”

“Yeah, she does…”

What kind of upbringing did the Duke provide that Cedric, born to such a mother, ended up with that personality…? I wanted to ask, but the letter also contained anecdotes of Cedric’s unruly behavior even as a child. Despite the short length, we learned that young Cedric had pestered his mother for two weeks to call him a “silver dragon.”

‘I guess it’s normal for kids that age to be obsessed with dinosaurs and such….’

The Duchess had clearly put some thought into naming Dietrich “Black Wolf.” While it wasn’t as grand as a dragon, it was still a cool enough animal. Given the story of Cedric pushing against his mother’s belly, saying, “Don’t come out,” even before his sibling was born, I couldn’t help but sigh.

‘It’s not just their looks that run in the family….’

Maybe the family’s misfortune began when the Duchess’s genes were erased. While I didn’t know about the rest of the family, it seemed that at least the Duke and his eldest son lacked any sense of affection or romance, instead amplifying each other’s character flaws.

“But aren’t you too calm about this?”

As I examined the Duchess’s drawing, trying to determine if it really was a wolf or something else, Agnes, who seemed genuinely curious, asked, “What?”

“She’s your mother, isn’t she? Don’t you feel anything?”

I ran my hand over my chest. Feeling no emotional response, I answered calmly, “I’ve never met her, and I have no memories of her. It’s almost like she’s a stranger.”

In reality, she was indeed a stranger.

“Man, your mother would cry if she heard that.”

“I think Cedric would feel more sentimental about it than I would.”

We debated whether to take the letter or leave it. My argument was that we should leave the letter to avoid alerting anyone to our intrusion, especially since we could copy the contents. Agnes argued that we couldn’t trust someone who seemed unhinged to act consistently and that we might not get another chance like this. 

With both arguments being quite reasonable, we decided the matter with a fair game of rock-paper-scissors.

I lost.

***

“I doubt the senior will ever tell us anything.”

I repeatedly checked the letter hidden in my clothes. Hayden, whom the usually composed Irene hated with fiery rage. Despite my many attempts to ask Irene why, she never answered.

“Just trust me.”

“And what exactly are you planning to do? You can’t even act.”

Despite my concerns, Agnes strode ahead confidently. She pouted at my worried comment and then stuffed her mouth with candy and chocolate. The sudden burst of sweetness radiating from her frizzy hair left me overwhelmed.

“What are you doing?”

“I don’t think I can do this sober. I’m borrowing the power of sugar.”

Agnes then marched off to find Irene, smiling shyly and twirling her hair. The rapid sugar intake seemed to have an effect; there was an unusual gleam in her eye. Even Irene, seeing this strange behavior for the first time, looked puzzled.

“Senior, do you know Hayden?”

Irene immediately looked at me, as if suspecting I had prompted Agnes. Flustered, I shook my head.

“Why do you ask about Hayden?”

Agnes, a bit deflated by Irene’s slightly sharp tone, seemed to push back the psychological pressure with sugar and shyly added, “Because he’s handsome.”

Agnes’ unexpected statement left both Irene and me staring at her. What is she talking about? As I glanced at Agnes, silently mouthing “What?”, a soft punch hit my spine. 

“What?”

I turned to look at Agnes, half-bent over from the sudden attack, but she was nonchalantly stepping on my foot. Finally, I understood the blatant signal she was sending. But I really didn’t want to play along.

“Yeah, he’s… handsome. Really handsome. So…”

“Honestly, I was interested. It seemed like he was close to Dietrich, but she doesn’t seem to know him well either. And with vacation coming up, I won’t see him for a while. It’s a bit late, but I wanted to keep in touch.”

When did she get so good at acting? If she had put this effort into our play, maybe it wouldn’t have been so criticized.

“Huh?”

Agnes even linked arms with Irene, who remained unyielding to her advances.

“I can’t give out someone’s contact information without their permission. And besides, I don’t even know it.”

Agnes let out a disgruntled noise. …Grunt? It seemed like the sugar was affecting her too much. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be making such bizarre sounds. Watching my friend’s embarrassing moment in real-time was not easy.

“Then I guess I’ll have to ask him directly. It’s a bit embarrassing, but, hehe.”

He…he? I couldn’t bear to watch Agnes’ awkward expressions any longer. But unlike me, Irene seemed concerned about something else entirely. She nodded towards me, sending an inexplicable pressure my way. Her expression was unchanged, but the meaning was clear: stop Agnes.

“Oh, wow. I’m jealous. I knew Hayden first.”

Agnes shot me a glare, looking like she was about to vomit, then quickly regained her composure.

“Haha. Dietrich, let’s go find him now! Bye, Senior!”

Irene didn’t stop Agnes, who pretended to be dejected as we left. As soon as we turned the corner, we both started gagging lightly from the delayed embarrassment. It was a collective assault on our emotional well-being, but there was an unexpected outcome.

Late at night, Irene came to our room—actually, my room.

“It happened before you enrolled. I didn’t want to bring up an expelled student’s issue unnecessarily…”

As she spoke, Agnes, who had been lying half-asleep on my bed, suddenly bolted upright, her eyes wide with shock. The story Irene told made Agnes’ jaw drop and her mouth go dry. I must have confirmed with Irene several times that it happened when she was seventeen. Just one year ago, both she and that guy were seventeen?

“Isn’t that a crime? Shouldn’t we go to the police, or the constables…?”

“Hayden kept denying it, and they didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. So, he probably went back to his hometown.”

“Do you still keep in touch with him?”

Irene couldn’t answer my question.

“We lost contact after that.”

He was the first friend she made at the academy. Her brief words seemed to carry a long explanation of why she had such a deep-seated hatred for Hayden and why she avoided mentioning him. Agnes clung to Irene’s side and muttered, “Disgusting… How can a person be so vile?”

And to think he had feelings for Roxanne? His actions and intentions were completely contradictory, and I couldn’t sleep well that night.

What is Hayden, really? Though I couldn’t define it clearly, his entire existence seemed messy. He was from Sereti but behaved more like someone from the Thomple Empire. He was a minor who smoked old men’s tobacco to an addictive degree. He seemed to harbor a grudge against Elexion, yet he had feelings for Roxanne. All while engaging in behavior that led to a student’s expulsion due to sexual misconduct.

The next day, I wasn’t quite myself. It had been a while since I’d pulled an all-nighter. I stumbled out of the dormitory. However, Hayden wasn’t the only one surrounded by contradictions. Yesterday, I learned more dimensions about someone I’d thought I knew.

“What did you just say?”

That’s why, unlike usual, I wanted to give him a chance, even if it was just one.

“Constantly making an innocent person feel humiliated like this… Isn’t that a bit shameful?”

The Silver Dragon of Elexion. The seven-year-old boy who pressed on his mother’s belly, hoping his sibling wouldn’t be born, but who also embroidered a rose with the words “I love you the most” and gifted it to his mother.

“Cedric, I’m sure there was a time when you vowed to be a good brother.”