I Pretended To Have Amnesia and the Hero’s Party Becomes Obsessed

33 – 5. Desire Inevitably Flows Westward (2)

Drinking with Pea was like a ritual.

The farthest tavern from the mercenary band’s building,

Always a corner seat, a place where noise barely reached,

Appetizers were always meat, but simple enough to grab and eat.

He doesn’t discriminate against alcohol, but still prefers dark beer.

Talking is mostly her.

I eat snacks or meals while playing along with her stories.

At first, the topics of the stories are usually random.

We talk about our children, brag about the axe we obtained last week.

But, like the drinking gatherings between long-time acquaintances, the stories eventually flow into the past.

Starting from the most recent goblin subjugation request,

to when we named ourselves the Roselem Mercenary Corps four years ago.

And then, the flow stops right there. It doesn’t go any further. As if a dam had been placed in between.

I wasn’t a mercenary, Rose was not the captain, and it was not the time when Fea was trying to kill us.

The stories from that time always linger at the tip of our tongues.

And, this is where the calculation ends.

All formulas are meant to find an answer, and even the drinking gatherings with Fea resemble that in that aspect.

It’s just that the answer never changes.

At the point where the stories flowing into the past are blocked,

short silence flows down and finally Fea gives me the answer to the calculation with her released gaze.

“Brother, don’t you regret it?”

“What?”

To question even though I know what she is talking about is a kind of denial. Isn’t it enough by now?

“I mean, you didn’t take revenge on me.”

But, Fea says to me, as always, while avoiding eye contact.

“Brother, you’re the one who cut off my leg.”

The noisy sound of the rowdy tavern fades a little, and now the nonexistent calf twitches.

“I’ve said it many times, I don’t regret it.”

“…Why?”

For a moment, I hesitated to answer. But no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t find anything better than what I always said.

“Because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to hear you, my brother.”

I recalled the blood-red sunset and the axe falling relentlessly. It was an event from five years ago.

“A pair of legs is cheap.”

I took a bitter sip of the dark beer.

Since then, Phea murmured incomprehensible words and remained motionless. It was the same as always.

I sighed inwardly and carried Phea on my back. Fortunately, the winter night that day was calm.

Amidst the bright moon, snowflakes gently fell onto the road. Leaving footprints on the freshly fallen white snow, I headed towards home.

“Rem…”

Her voice was melancholic, and I stopped walking.

“Don’t leave me this time…”

Hot tears rolled down her frozen back, chilled by the winter wind.

“It’s okay, you can do whatever you want, just stay by my side…”

I’m scared, of disappearing.

Scared that it might happen again.

Her last words were almost a whimper. Eventually, I barely realized it was Sleep talking, and sighed.

“Please be independent, you idiot…”

How did the ruthless woman become this anxious puppy?

A wolf turned into a dog.

Thinking back, it was an apt analogy for Phea.

Finally, when I arrived at the mercenary building, I laid Phea on my bed and stepped back outside.

There was no particular reason. I just had a feeling that I wouldn’t be able to sleep even if I lay down immediately. And it wasn’t that I particularly felt like reading Clara’s letter.

Leaning against the building wall, I absentmindedly watched the snowflakes falling along the moonlight.

“I heard you were having a drink with Miss Phea, is it already over?”

I turned around in confusion, and it was Irene. She spoke with an expressionless face.

“I saw you looking out the window.”

“Oh, yes. Well…”

I scratched my cheek.

“Turns out Phea can’t handle alcohol very well. She passed out in the room, so I just decided to take a little stroll at night.”

“Well, can I join you as well then?”

I raised an eyebrow. Irene finally smiled mischievously.

“I couldn’t sleep either.”

And without my permission, she cheekily came over to my side.

I looked at her with a bewildered gaze, then redirected my gaze towards the sky.

However, the tranquility from earlier had long been shattered. Just having one person by your side prevents the peace from settling in a person’s heart.

“Especially when there’s something I want to ask that person.”

“I haven’t found it yet.”

I looked at Irene with a puzzled expression.

“That’s what Sir Yongsa and Miss Parsley said. Wasn’t that what you wanted to ask?”

“…Did I make it that obvious?”

“Very.”

I smiled bitterly and looked down at my toes.

Reconciliation with Clara was undoubtedly a joyful occasion, but on the other hand, it brought deep worries to me.

The seemingly most normal Clara had attempted suicide.

Indeed, I wondered what dire situation Parsley and Amy, who showed even stronger reactions than that, were in.

The sense of impending crisis that they might also make extreme choices weighed heavily on my mind. A sense of urgency to resolve misunderstandings with them as quickly as possible settled beneath my sternum.

…The problem was that I didn’t even know where they were.

I had personally made efforts to find out as soon as I returned from the Vatican. But I couldn’t even find out where they are now.

Even Parsley, who was said to be in the Matop, suddenly left the Matop and is reportedly traveling somewhere.

Honestly, it felt like my soul was slowly burning to ashes.

“Do Sir Yongsa and Miss Parsley have a similar situation to Clara?”

As I raised my head, Irene made a strange expression.

“In the past, they liked each other…”

“No, no, that’s not true at all.”

I quickly waved my hand to dismiss it.

“Amy was just a friend from my hometown. Parsley… um… Let’s just say we remained friends.”

I could see Irene’s eyes widen at my words.

“Oh, your memories before joining the mercenary corps have vanished…”

Ah.

I quickly started weaving a lie.

“No, well, the thing is, while talking to Clara, old memories came back…”

There was a chuckling sound, and without realizing it, I stopped speaking. She covered her mouth and laughed, shaking her head.

“It was a joke, so there was no need for you to lie. I already noticed.”

“…Really?”

Irene smiled mischievously.

For someone who had lost their memory, he seemed unnaturally calm. Despite the significant loss of memory, there was almost no sign of anxiety.

My mind went blank for a moment. I managed to open my mouth and asked, “Since when…?”

“Almost from the beginning. It seems you don’t have a talent for acting. Oh, and don’t worry, I haven’t told anyone else about it, so you don’t have to be concerned about that part.”

I could only look at Irene with a dismayed expression. In response, Irene seemed to wear a satisfied expression.

“Seeing that expression, it seems there was value in keeping the secret until now. Actually, it was quite difficult to keep my mouth shut even during the carriage ride.”

…I’ve said it before, but this woman has a subtly malicious side.

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.

“Should I express my gratitude for keeping the secret?”

“You’re welcome.”

Irene smiled mischievously and added, “By the way, it’s a bit disappointing. The conversation in the carriage was quite entertaining.”

“Are you talking about when we returned from the Papal Court to Ester?”

“Yes.”

I chuckled awkwardly. The events of that time vividly flashed before my eyes.

It was originally a story I started to explain myself, but before I knew it, everyone in the carriage was listening with brightened eyes. And after the story ended, they looked at me with ominous gazes.

“I hoped for some lighthearted stories with the knight and Parsley as well….”

Yeah, exactly with those kinds of eyes.

Feeling awkward, I averted my gaze.

“There was nothing like that with them. We didn’t have the luxury for such things back in those days.”

“Really?”

Irene raised one eyebrow, looking at me as if questioning whether I could honestly say that.

“…”

And I couldn’t help but turn my head in response to that gaze. Honestly, there was a prick in my conscience.

Especially in the case of Parsley…

Damn it, let it go.

Anyway, when parting ways, they were friends.

“Miss Rem is more of a troublemaker than I thought. The same goes for Miss Clara, Miss Fea, and Miss Rose.”

Irene’s eyes narrowed. I couldn’t help but ask.

“Why suddenly mention the leader and the youngest member’s names?”

Irene is genuinely confused for the first time in her eyes.

“Oh, really? Wasn’t it already a known fact within the mercenary group? That Phae, Rose, and Rem are all in that kind of relationship.”

I massaged my temples as the headache washed over me. Just because they warned me to be careful with my actions…

“Not at all.”

“Really? But…”

“I know how it looks, but this time it’s really not true.”

Phae and I, and the leader, are definitely not in that kind of relationship, and it can never be.

Guilt and love must be clearly distinguished. Dependency and love too.

If it had been that kind of relationship from the beginning, we wouldn’t have formed the mercenary group.

I said firmly, as if to drive the point home.

“We’re just colleagues. It may seem like that because we’ve spent a long time together, but that’s all.”

However, Irene’s mind seemed to be a garden of thoughts. She still couldn’t rid herself of doubt in her eyes.

Fortunately, though, that suspicion didn’t turn into a question.

Thud-

When I turned my gaze at the sound of flapping wings, a pigeon was flying towards me.

It was the note that I handed over to the leader before going west.

…Surely, it’s expensive, so he must have said to use it only in urgent situations.

“Excuse me for a moment.”

I felt uneasy as I approached the pigeon sitting on the railing. I untied the note tied to its ankle and unfolded it.

And unexpectedly, I found myself grimacing after reading its contents.

The content was as follows.

[Come to the west as soon as possible]

[Found a way to finish the promise]