I Flirted with the General in the Zerg Empire [Interstellar]

The Pitiful zerg

The female zerg quickly untangled the towel wrapped around the chopsticks, fetched a basin of water, washed the cloth, and carefully wiped the blood stains from the corner of the male zerg’s lips.

The series of actions flowed naturally like running water. He Yi belatedly realized, are all female zergs in the zerg race this virtuous?

The big boss He blushed, “Th-thank you.”

“No need to be polite, male lord. It’s what this slave should do,” Zhao replied, wringing out the towel and lifting the water basin.

Although he was trying to adapt to the local customs, He Yi found it hard to accept the self-deprecating way female zergs referred to themselves.

So, when Zhao came back into the room after dumping the water, the male lord pulled him onto the bed.

The two zergs sat cross-legged facing each other. The handsome male zerg kept a stern face as he started his lecture, “From now on, you are not allowed to use ‘slave’ to refer to yourself, and you don’t have to use honorifics with me.”

Zhao obediently nodded.

“No kneeling.”

Zhao hesitated, nodding with a desire to say something but stopped.

“Speak.” The male zerg saw the hesitation in Zhao’s eyes and said warmly, “Whatever you want to say, say it boldly. I won’t blame you.”

“If I make a mistake, and I can’t kneel, how should I ask for punishment?” Zhao asked softly, his head lowered.

“We’ll talk about punishments later, but no kneeling,” the male zerg insisted firmly.

He patiently guided, “It’s just the two of us on this planet, so there’s no need to be restrained. You can do whatever you want, right?”

Just thinking about the ideas instilled in female zergs by teachers in school, as seen in the memory orb, made He Yi’s worldview shatter.

Zhao responded with a faint “yes,” his eyes downcast. “Alright, I’ll do as the male lord says.”

After all, as long as the male lord is happy.

“Listen to what? You vile female slave!” Xiao Yi’s exasperated voice broke the harmonious atmosphere.

“Xiao Yi!” He Yi glared at the robot, explaining calmly, “Ah Zhao is good. He is my female lord.”

Xiao Yi’s eyes flashed red: “Master, only those who have laid zerg eggs can qualify as a female lord. If you like him, granting him the status of a female servant is already a great favor. There are thousands of female zergs out there; don’t be blinded by this bad zerg!”

He Yi remained unmoved, “Even if he can only be a female servant for now, Ah Zhao will eventually become a female lord.”

Xiao Yi spoke earnestly: “One female zerg A in your left hand, another female zerg B in your right, and female zergs C, D, E, F, G kneeling at your feet—that’s the proper way for a noble male zerg! Master~”

“Such feudal dregs are unacceptable.”

Xiao Yi was so angry it nearly short-circuited, the red light in its eyes flashing wildly, looking every bit like a loyal minister desperately trying to dissuade a foolish emperor from indulging in beauty. “Master, you can’t spoil a lowly, savage female zerg!”

“My female, I’ll spoil if I want to.” He Yi spread his hands, determined to have his way.

*Zzzt, zzzt—*

Xiao Yi short-circuited.

After witnessing the tragic end of Loyal Minister Xiao Yi, He Yi, the foolish emperor who had achieved a temporary victory in this argument, turned to his newly accepted servant and asked for praise, “Ah Zhao? Was I great?”

Zhao remained silent, becoming increasingly tense since the robot Xiao Yi began speaking. This was because Xiao Yi was a male zerg early education robot, the kind that accompanies male zergs throughout their lives. It was also the biggest obstacle in a female zerg’s struggle for favor, bar none!

These robots indoctrinate male zergs with concepts of male superiority and female inferiority from a young age. They relentlessly belittle female zergs during interactions with male zergs and even suggest various ways to mistreat them. Female zergs suffer greatly because of this.

According to posts on the Star Net forums, the only viable strategy to deal with these robots is to show weakness.

Confrontation is not advisable.

“Male Lord, you’re amazing! Please don’t blame Xiao Yi; it’s all my fault. If it weren’t for me, Xiao Yi wouldn’t have gotten so upset with you that it short-circuited.”

Zhao, poisoned by television dramas, knew the art of speaking well. He lowered his head in apparent remorse, trying hard to suppress the smile curling at his lips.

As long as he kept his head down, who could tell if he was sad or happy?

The young male zerg fell for it: “No, it brought this upon itself. That thing has been mistranslating everything, taking advantage of our language barrier. I haven’t even settled that score yet. It’s good that it’s broken; I’ll fix it tomorrow morning and straighten out its bad attitude.”

As soon as he finished speaking, there was a ding, and the light orb in the room went out, plunging the room into darkness. It seemed the last of their energy blocks had run out tonight.

“It’s getting late. Let’s get some rest,” He Yi said, ruffling the female zerg’s messy hair before pulling him down to lie next to him.

“Good night, Male Lord.” The female zerg, enveloped in the male zerg’s pheromones, closed his eyes in happiness.

While they slept soundly, the leaders at the zerg star’s military headquarters were working through the night.

*

Pasor Star, Military Headquarters

The atmosphere in the highest authority control room was tense and heavy. Everyone was on edge.

On the central screen, the surveillance footage from the scene of General Zhao’s disappearance played in a loop. Over the past seven days, the footage had been reviewed countless times, with every minute expression of Zhao being scrutinized, yet they still hadn’t uncovered the reason behind his mysterious disappearance.

Lieutenant General Lan showed signs of unmistakable fatigue as he set down the documents in his hand. “Marshal, after extensive investigation, we haven’t found any reliable evidence suggesting this is a conspiracy. Perhaps this incident has nothing to do with the Federation.”

Marshal Sen remained noncommittal and turned his gaze to the brown-haired, green-eyed officer nearby. “Wei, what do you think?”

General Wei, who had been reviewing information on his holo-screen, looked up. “Lack of evidence doesn’t mean there’s no evidence. After all, the timing of General Zhao’s disappearance coinciding with the arrival of the Andrew meteorite is too much of a coincidence.”

A sharp light flashed in his eyes. “I believe we can increase the pressure on the Federation.”

Marshal Sen nodded in agreement. “At present, with General Zhao’s fate unknown, the public needs an outlet for their emotions. One way or another, the Federation must take the blame.” He paused before continuing, “Adjutant Xi, Staff Officer Ze, you’ve both worked hard during this period. Any progress?”

Adjutant Xi’s eyes reddened. “It’s not hard work. The general, he…,” he started, before breaking into sobs.

Staff Officer Ze patted his shoulder consolingly. “Pull yourself together. The general is waiting for us to rescue him.” He then turned to report to the higher-ups. “From our field investigations, there are no signs of a struggle, but experts have confirmed residual traces of an unknown energy fluctuation.”

General Lan narrowed his red eyes. “It seems there’s a lot more to this unknown energy.”

After a moment of contemplation, Marshal Sen calmly issued orders: “Mobilize experts from the First and Second Legions to assist the Third Legion in investigating this unknown energy. Deploy the new AZ99 warships and expand the search area. We must find General Zhao as soon as possible.”

“Yes, Marshal!”

…

Once the orders had been passed down and arrangements made, the exhausted officers retired to the military dormitories. Upon entering the break room, Adjutant Xi’s recently steadied shoulders slumped again. “Ze, I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see the general covered in blood.”

He imagined the poor general possibly cold and hungry, drifting through dangerous space turbulence. How could he sleep soundly knowing that?

Staff Officer Ze slowly removed his navy blue uniform jacket, tossing it to a household robot by the door. He rubbed his temples, sighing, “Rest is crucial for us to continue serving the general effectively.”

Adjutant Xi kicked off his boots and abruptly stood, clenching his fists for motivation. “You’re right. For the general, I have to sleep!”

Meanwhile, the “poor general” they worried about was deep in slumber.

The sleeping general gracefully turned over, his juvenile form accurately snuggling into the warm embrace of the male zerg. Smacking his lips, he slept even more soundly.

*

In the morning, Zhao awoke to the clattering of metal.

Groggy, he got up and noticed that he was alone in the room. The male lord was gone? He quickly pulled open the door to search for him.

He spotted the male zerg not far away, near a large rock. Golden rays of sunlight, mingling with a light mist, bathed the male zerg’s handsome and upright figure, making it seem like he was merging with the light blue sky in the distance—a beautiful and dreamlike sight.

Zhao sniffed the air, detecting the rich aroma of food.

“Awake? Hungry? I’ve got soup simmering; once you’ve washed up, we can eat,” the male zerg said as he set down a rusty metal hammer. “I just need one more part to finish upgrading Xiao Yi, then It’ll be over.”

“Ah Zhao?”

He Yi, looking puzzled, didn’t hear a response from the female zerg, and suddenly felt a pair of arms wrapping around his waist from behind.

“Lord, I am guilty. Not only did I fail to get up early to prepare breakfast for you, but I also made you work yourself.”

The voice of the female zerg was muffled. His lord had suffered so much on this radiation-filled, heavily polluted barren star, even having to cook his own meals.

“What are you talking about? I spoil you, and you’re not happy?” He Yi instinctively tightened his abdomen and glanced at the soft, white hands of the female zerg resting on his stomach.

The female zerg nuzzled his head into He Yi’s waist like a spoiled child. “I am happy, but also guilty. Lord, can I cook for you from now on? I was always top of my class in cooking.”

“Alright, alright, you can cook.” He Yi pressed the red start button on the robot’s head and turned around in the female zerg’s embrace with some difficulty.

Looking at his own dirty hands, he decided to use his elbow to nudge the female zerg’s fluffy hair. “Come on, let’s eat. I’ll let you taste my cooking.”

…

The potato soup in the pot bubbled.

After washing up, the two zergs, holding stone bowls, faced each other, one standing and the other sitting.

“Sit down and eat. You can’t eat while standing like that,” He Yi said with a helpless expression.

“You eat first, I’ll serve you,” the female zerg responded seriously.

“Listen, sit down and eat together,” He Yi said, his tone becoming more forceful.

“Ah! Barbaric female zerg, not worthy of gentleness. Noble male, you need not show mercy!” The newly activated and upgraded Xiao Yi couldn’t resist interrupting, stepping forward and speaking in a dramatic, operatic tone.

“Shut up, this doesn’t concern you,” He Yi’s face darkened instantly.

“Lord, please don’t be angry,” the female zerg hurriedly sat down opposite He Yi, disregarding any rules, not wanting to upset him.

Seeing this, Xiao Yi extended his mechanical arms, tilted his stiff neck, and struck a pose looking up at a 45-degree angle:

“Ah! Lowly female zerg are meant to be controlled. The male should never relax their vigilance!”

“When did you start talking like this?” He Yi felt his forehead throbbing and put down his bowl and chopsticks, giving the round-headed robot a pat.

Xiao Yi slowly retracted his mechanical arms, placed his left hand on his right chest, and with a click, unscrewed the green shell of his head, bowing slightly:

“Master, you reinserted the learning chip this morning. It contains a wealth of ancient zerg tribe data. Xiao Yi has not only learned the elegant ancient zerg language but also unlocked classic noble etiquette.”

“Ah, thank you, my great master!”

Zhao: “…”

He Yi: “…” This is getting ridiculous.

Unable to stand it any longer, He Yi decisively reached out and pressed the prominent shutdown button on the robot’s belly with his index finger. He quickly removed the energy battery from Xiao Yi’s stomach to prevent it from automatically restarting.

“Goodbye, Xiao Yi.”

Zhao: Finally, some peace and quiet!

With the troublesome Xiao Yi taken care of, the two zergs sat around the stone pot, chatting and eating, enjoying the meal.

He Yi noticed that the female zerg wasn’t eating much of the potatoes, just sipping a small bowl of soup. He casually scooped a big ladle of brightly colored potato chunks into Zhao’s bowl.

“Here, eat some potatoes.”

Just drinking soup wouldn’t help him grow taller.

Although mutated potatoes were a precious food for them at the moment, the female zerg was in a critical growth phase and needed to replenish nutrients. The low-grade energy blocks and poor-quality nutritional liquids stored in the house couldn’t meet their current energy needs.

He Yi looked at the young female zerg with a face full of affection, thinking about how to quickly increase his mental strength so he could dig up more mutated potatoes to nourish the young one. No matter how tough things got, he couldn’t let the child suffer!

The joy of nurturing was indeed irresistible.

Zhao shook his head, indicating that he didn’t feel aggrieved, and stared at the mutated potatoes in his bowl, lost in thought. The crumbling ruins and food scarcity on this planet made the male zerg’s living conditions far worse than he had imagined!

The usually composed and serene Imperial General was now filled with indignation.

How had the delicate Lord Male ended up in such a situation?

Translator’s note: So the pairings are like male lord or master with one female lord (promoted after when as a female servant they have a child.) Followed by female servants and slaves. Female slaves will have no rights of their own whatsoever. (ｰдｰ)