I Can’t Run Away From the Girl Who Saved Me

45 – up (4)

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“Hello Ash.”

“… Ah, ah, hello. Mr. Sylvia.”

Ash averted his eyes and answered.

Sylvia realized that the morning wind blowing through the window caressing her skin felt a little chilly, unlike usual.

Only then did she remember that she had taken off her top last night.

The hot heat that made me have no choice but to take off my clothes, even the hot breath of ash that created that heat.

Sylvia looked at Ash with a faint smile.

“did you sleep well?”

“…umm,”

Ash hesitated to answer.

Sylvia sensed that she had made a mistake with just that brief hesitation.

Did you sleep well?

What does that mean? this crazy boy

Have you forgotten what happened yesterday?

And have you forgotten who caused it?

It’s not enough to fall asleep dreaming of a happy dream alone on the subject of shedding tears with the suffering Ash by your side, do you ask such a question?

There’s a certain level of shamelessness.

Sylvia immediately closed her eyes and apologized.

“Sorry…”

“No, no. Why are you apologizing?”

“…”

This time, Sylvia hesitated to answer.

As Ash slowly opened his eyes and looked at him, traces of wrinkles remained between his brows.

It’s probably the traces of having been suffering from nightmares and frowning all night long.

The moment she saw those wrinkles, a huge sense of guilt came over Sylvia from the other side of her self.

Last night, looking at Ash, who was eagerly following Sylvia’s warmth with longing eyes, she suffered from guilt, and eventually shed tears leaning on his arms.

Looking at Ash’s tired face as he slowly fell asleep, he felt very disgusted with himself for giving him indelible scars and pain.

However, Sylvia, who went to bed, had a very happy dream.

I couldn’t remember the details of the dream, but I vaguely remembered that Ash had appeared and that it was a very lovely and cute dream.

No matter how much he talked about guilt or disgust, he must have been so ecstatic about the moments of last night when he rubbed his skin together with Ash.

Then, what were those tears flowing down Ash’s chest?

Sylvia was appalled by her own hypocrisy.

“…”

No answer came back, but Ash didn’t ask Sylvia any more.

I didn’t really know what Sylvia was thinking, and I didn’t have time to consider her thoughts right now.

Ash slowly picked up the end of the blanket and covered Sylvia’s body.

Naturally, Ash took the shape of Sylvia’s body gently hugging her.

Sylvia stretched out her arms under the blanket and hugged Ash’s body.

“ah,”

Ash didn’t react to anything other than a little exclamation in surprise.

He didn’t reject Sylvia’s hand, nor did he push her away.

He just quietly closed his eyes and buried his face in her chest, which rose and fell little by little in sync with the sound of her breathing.

Sylvia stroked Ash’s hair and hugged him gently.

“thank you.”

Ash whispered in Sylvia’s arms.

What are you thankful for?

Of course, Sylvia could guess.

Sylvia is probably the person in the world who knows most acutely how comforting it is to have someone by her side.

What he didn’t know was Ash.

Ash didn’t know that Sylvia shouldn’t have such appreciation, and Sylvia knew better than anyone else.

However, Sylvia did not deny it.

I didn’t have the courage to do that.

I shamelessly enjoyed it, but I couldn’t miss this happiness.

Even though he was well aware of what a terrible thing he had done, he couldn’t give up on Ash, who was holding him in his arms.

All she could do was hug Ash as gently as possible so that he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable, but still tightly hug him so that he could become a support.

“Sylvia-san…”

Ash slowly raised his head and slowly approached Sylvia’s face.

Just as Sylvia needed him, Ash needed her too.

But, is it really okay?

Her hypocrisy strikes Sylvia’s conscience once more.

Sylvia held Ash’s head gently and held him in her arms.

It was already his lips that he coveted last night, but for some reason, I couldn’t kiss him as crazy as I did last night.

Perhaps there is a difference between night and day.

The darkness of the night seemed to obscure not only the vision but also Sylvia’s angular mind.

“…No?”

Ash asked in an anxious voice.

Sylvia felt as if she would lose her mind at the sound of that feeble, melancholy voice.

I bit my lip.

I didn’t know what to do, so I couldn’t calm this confused mind.

In fact, she too wanted to kiss Ash.

Like last night, no, I wanted to continue the later part that I couldn’t do last night.

He wanted to give his first time to Ash.

He wanted to take Ash’s beginning with himself.

I wanted to jump on top of his stuff like a beast and bounce my back.

I wanted to swallow every single word of Ash’s breath and the watery eyes of Ash as he exhaled.

And, he knew that Ash also desperately wanted that.

How should I atone for Ash?

Should I let him do as he pleases?

The problem was that the act was something she also desperately wanted.

Can I, who hurt Ash, dare to covet Ash?

Ash wanted Sylvia.

I don’t know if it’s love or if I just want a stimulating experience to cover up the horrible memories.

Actually, it didn’t matter either way.

Sylvia was thirsty for Ash’s love to the point of burning her throat, but honestly, even if Ash regarded her as a plaything, Sylvia could accept him.

If Ash needed him, he could give him a body that was very hard for this woman.

But even more so, Sylvia couldn’t do that.

It was contradictory, but it could never be.

If night comes again, I don’t know if I’ll be able to control my desire.

But for now, Sylvia managed to shake off Ash’s request.

“Sorry… no.”

“…why?”

“…”

Ash slowly turned his face to the side and put his ear to her chest.

“Sylvia’s heart is beating, but why not?”

“…that.”

“…”

“Ah, anyway, not now…”

“why.”

Suddenly Ash’s voice sank coldly.

Sylvia, sensing the sudden change in the atmosphere, cautiously spoke to Ash.

“…ash?”

Ash slowly raised his hand and gripped Sylvia’s huge breasts.

“out,”

“Why not?”

“…ash.”

Ash roughly massaged Sylvia’s breasts.

While Sylvia was taken aback by his unusual appearance somewhere, she was busy trying to stop the moaning that flowed out of her teeth whenever the rough touch touched her.

Ash muttered quietly in a voice that seemed out of place somewhere.

“Why, you say you can’t do it when I want to?”

“Oh, Ash… Stop it,”

“You showed everything like you were trying to seduce me. Look at this, it doesn’t seem embarrassing… but why?”

“…Sorry… It’s not because of you…”

Ash’s eyes seemed to be burning terribly, but in an instant, as if all the lights were turned off, the vitality and focus flew away.

Red like Sylvia’s, but somewhere black, her pupils quietly peered into her.

No, he was facing Sylvia, but her figure was not reflected in his eyes.

Sylvia looked at those empty eyes with a worried expression.

Ash opened his mouth slowly.

“Because I… killed someone?”

“…what?”

“Is it because you made Layla die?”

“Ash, what is that… What!”

Ash said while squeezing Sylvia’s chest.

“Since Sylvia is a hero, I am not.”

“… what is that… cow”

“Sylvia-san didn’t know about the curse, but I did… even though I knew.”

“Ash, calm down.”

Ash’s hand goes up gradually.

Not a sweet touch like last night, but somewhere cold and trembling fingers that contain terrible feelings slowly,

came towards her neck.

“Am I not qualified?”

“no!”

Sylvia roughly shook Ash’s hand.

The shock threw Ash back and he fell under the bed with a crash.

Sylvia remembered that she was much stronger than Ash and shouted at Ash as she crawled on the bed.

“ash! are you okay?”

Ash clutched his head as he fell to the floor.

“Ugh,”

“Ash, did you bump into it?”

Ash made a sound of pain without answering.

Sylvia got out of bed and hurried towards Ash.

Ash’s moans continued unabated.

Ugh, the sound does not stop and gets longer and longer.

And soon,

“Eww, keueuuugh!”

It gradually changed into a scream resembling the cry of an animal.

Sylvia realized it wasn’t the pain.

Because it was something I had heard before.

Ash screamed, clutching his eyes and forehead with his palms as if tearing them apart.

It was a sad cry of heartbreaking pain that was so terrible that I couldn’t bear to write it down.

Sylvia slowly hugged Ash.

Ash shouted in Sylvia’s arms.

“Ah ah ah ah ah! I’m sorry, really ah! really sorry!”

“…are you okay.”

“Ah, ah! Miss Sylvia! I want to die, it hurts so much… now I’m scared!”

“…”

Ash pushed Sylvia out of his arms and lay on the floor, sobbing.

Seeing Ash like that, Sylvia was at a loss for words to stop.

There was no way I could say anything to her.

Ash is broken.

Sylvia broke.

For the extremely selfish reason of wanting him.

Sylvia wrapped her trembling hands around Ash’s back, who was lying on the floor.

“I’m sorry… I’m really sorry. ash.”

＊

how long has it been

It felt like a very long time had passed.

Of course, Ash’s miserable wails were tearing Sylvia’s heart apart, so it must have felt long, but even in real time, the amount of time he cried was not short.

No matter how bad it was, an hour would have passed lightly.

Until Ash stopped crying, Sylvia endured silently, hugging his back.

It wasn’t until after a while that Ash stopped crying.

It seemed that he had fainted.

Sylvia slowly lifted Ash’s body up and placed it slowly on the bed.

Then, he picked up his pajamas, which had been scattered randomly under the bed, and put them on quietly.

tick tick tick.

I buttoned it very slowly, as slowly as I was unfastening it.

Every time I buttoned it, my heart ached.

Looking at Ash in his arms, he hated himself for unbuttoning it with a satisfied smile.

Crazy b*tch, crazy b*tch, shameless b*tch.

He insults himself every time he presses a button.

She said she deserved such an insult.

By the time the button was fastened, Ash slowly opened his mouth.

“…Sylvia-san,”

“Are you awake?”

“…sorry. You did something strange.”

Sylvia sat down on the bed, shook her head, and stroked Ash’s hair.

“no. I added in the old days.”

“I’m so sorry…”

“ash.”

Sylvia wiped Ash’s weeping eyes with his thumb once, then carefully patted Ash’s lips with his moist thumb and said,

“I want to kiss Ash too.”

“…”

“But, I refused because my ash lips were too swollen.”

“…yes?”

Looking back, Ash recalled that his lips had been slightly stinging since before.

Moreover, each part of Sylvia’s thumb touched it tingled more and more.

Sylvia tried to crack a joke as usual at Ash, whose face was getting hotter and hotter.

“I guess we can’t kiss very much.”

“…ah,”

“You were crazy until this happened, right?”

“Ah, uh, that’s right.”

Ash was relieved, but his face turned bright red and he covered his eyes.

Sylvia laughed at that scene, but inside she was greatly relieved.

It was a good excuse to think for yourself.

It was to the point where he was proud of himself when he discovered that Ash’s lips were slightly swollen and chapped a moment ago.

Ash opened his fingers slightly and looked at Sylvia through them.

“It was the first time.”

“hmm?”

“It was my first kiss, so I didn’t do well.”

“okay? I am not.”

“…uh?”

Ash was taken aback for a moment, then nodded in understanding.

“Yes… that’s right, Mr. Sylvia is cool…”

“No, it’s not your first kiss either.”

“…yes?”

Sylvia didn’t know what to say, and said while gently touching Ash’s cheek, who was wide-eyed.

“When you first came to me.”

“…yes.”

“You’ve been down for ten days.”

“I did…”

“Did I really think you would starve for ten days? the patient?”

“Because I passed out… Oh,”

A voice that seemed to understand something.

Sylvia said with a smile.

“Didn’t our first kiss happen the same day we first met?”

“Oh, no, you can’t count that. I don’t hit it with a kiss.”

“Was it my first time?”

“No, it’s my first time… Oh, anyway. That’s not my first kiss.”

“Yes or no, your first kiss is me anyway.”

“…That, that’s right.”

Ash nodded slowly, blushing up to his ears.

Sylvia smiled lightly and stroked Ash’s hair, revealing her forehead.

Then he slowly walked up to Ash’s face and kissed him lightly on the forehead.

“I’m so glad you’re the first.”

“…me too.”

“ash.”

“yes,”

Sylvia suddenly closed her mouth and pursed her lips.

It looked as if a frog in its mouth was trying to come out and was struggling to get caught at the end of its throat.

He had something to say, but it seemed he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

“Nothing.”

“…?”

Sylvia swallowed the words she was about to say deep in her throat.

Ash didn’t bother asking.

Feeling very sad for Ash, who cared for her even when her heart was broken, Sylvia reaffirmed the oath that made no sense in her heart.

…I promise Ash.

I won’t hurt you in the future.

never, never give up

And… with a selfish heart, I said I wouldn’t want you…

love you. ash.

And, really… I’m so sorry.

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