HP: The Big Bad Wolf

Finally, the holidays are over which means I will finally get to play at being an aweme teacher like my idols. I will be Great Teacher OniPrince!!! The teacher from hell!! 

The familiar chill of the dungeons seeps into my bones as I make my way towards my first class. The cold, damp air clings to the walls, thick with the scent of mold and the faint trace of ectoplasm. The dim lighting only adds to the foreboding and crappy atmosphere, but I've grown accustomed to it—this place is practically my home away from home.

Sluggy—old Slughorn—didn't want to give up his position, not at first. But the moment he heard I was his replacement, the little fatso practically leaped at the chance to retire. Of course, he insisted on sitting down with me once a week to "evaluate" my teaching style and offer tips from his years of experience. I agreed to everything just to get him off my back, but I know the old man just loves to make connections thinking that they'll save his hide.

As I walk through the dark corridors, my senses are on high alert, not because I fear anything in this castle—there's little that can threaten me—well, except of the big ass snake lurking somewhere in these depths. I still hate the baldy for releasing his pet snake into the sewers, Magic doesn't follow common sense, and even someone as strong as me could fall victim to something as crappy as an overgrown snake with a shitty in build gaze of fucking death.

*Sigh.*

Well, time to teach some dunderheads.

I push open the door to my classroom, and more than three dozen pairs of eyes snap to me. Their curiosity is pretty much a given, but I ignore them as I glide past, not sparing anyone a glance, and trying my best at being the me from the books. When I reach my desk, I spin around, my robes billowing dramatically with a sharp snap, the crisp sound cutting through the silence and capturing the attention of every idiot in the room.

"Hello, dunderheads and idiots. I am Professor Prince, and from this moment on, I will be the Potions Master of Hogwarts."

"You cannot—" One of the more stupid students dares to interrupt me while trying to stand up.

*Snap.* My fingers snap, and the boy's mouth clamps shut, and he is back with his arse on the fucking chair, wearing an 'I am an IDIOT' cap, as well as a big magical glowing finger ready to snap him.

"First of all, shut the fuck up and sit down bitch! And second of all, if I'm interrupted again, every single one of you will lose ten house points, and I'll give you all detention until the end of your time at Hogwarts. Is that understood? If yes, nod." I say everything with a creepily sweet smile on my face.

A sea of heads bob in agreement while smelling their fear.

"Good." I say as I calp my hands, "Now, I'm aware that Professor Slughorn had his own approach to teaching, and I must admit, it's what made me enjoy the class back in my day. But it was a pretty inefficient, I'm going to do things a bit differently. And the first change is this." I pull a glowing blue orb from my robes, smirking as the class stares at it in wide-eyed silence. 

None of them dares to ask what it's for, I release the orb and it starts floating. 

"Good! It seems not all is wasted on you lot. Now, let me explain. Each of you will touch this glowing ball—but first you'll be forming a line. It will hurt, but I promise you it's not dangerous."

I see some of the students blanch at the mention of pain, while others show more curiosity than fear. Good! 

Fifteen minutes later, everyone has a black circle with a dot on their palm, and they're all inspecting it with varying degrees of interest. The pain wasn't all that intense, and after the first few, the rest handled it without complaint.

"Great. What you have on your palms is what I call an access point. I'll skip the part where I brag about how ingenious I am and just explain what it does. Thanks to this access point, you can now tap into all the knowledge I deem worthy and necessary for you—just by willing it."

The students exchange glances, on the verge of murmuring, but the sight of my fingers twitching is enough to keep them silent.

"Reaching 35% is enough to exceed expectations on your NEWTs. 50% would make you a Bronce Potions Master. Reaching 100%... well, that's something I don't see happening during your time at Hogwarts because, frankly, I'm too awesome, and you all are, well, Dunderheads." I can see some of the fuming from anger, but they're all still silently enduring it.

I pull out more orbs—over thirty, each similar to the first, but in a slightly different colour. "Now, just as I didn't know which class I'd be teaching, I had to create one for each subject and a few extras! The Potions one is free of charge, but each additional one will cost you a subscription fee of one knut per day. I originally considered a galleon a month, but I'm here to teach, so I made it affordable."

Some of them look scandalized, others intrigued. "Also, I'm not forcing anyone to subscribe. You can find the necessary knowledge in the library, provided you're willing to put in the effort to find it, look it up, and learn it. With my orbs, you can essentially download the knowledge into your mind and only need to train it to make it second nature."

"The second point of interest is classes. Classes are for training the application of the knowledge you've acquired. You can move at your own pace, or you can outshine the dunderheads by showing me you're worth my time. Just attending class will earn you one house point, and not showing up won't result in any penalty—I simply don't care to teach those who aren't willing to put in the effort. But be warned: being in my class means risking losing house points, as I have a zero-tolerance policy for stupidity. For now, every single one of you is a dunderhead until proven otherwise."

I pause, letting my words sink in. "Good. Any questions?"

Every hand shoots up at once. 

*Sigh.*

I really hate it when idiots can't follow simple instructions.

"Professor, why do we have to pay for the other classes?" a girl in Hufflepuff colors asks, her voice timid.

"Are you an idiot?" I ask, incredulously.

Her eyes well up with tears. What the flying fuck?

"Calm down, girl! I'm not being mean; I'm genuinely wondering if you're an idiot. There's no shame in being an idiot, as long as you don't stay one for life. I was never an idiot, but I really hope it's just an occasional thing and not permanent in your particular case. Now, why should it be free?"

"Because you're a professor! It's your job to teach us!" a boy from Ravenclaw says arrogantly.

"So? I'm teaching you Potions as per my job description!"

"But—"

"If you want extra knowledge, you'll pay for my time and effort! I had to waste my own time learning everything you want access to. It was me sitting in dusty libraries for weeks, and you want to use my time and energy for free?"

Some of them start to understand, realizing the value of what I'm offering. At a knut per day, I'm practically giving them access to knowledge. I won't get rich from this, but assuming every student takes at least one subscription, I'll be earning around 2.5 Galleons per day—around 1,000 Galleons per year. Add to that the fact that my salary is already three times higher than the normal rate, and I'm looking at a comfortable income.

"Sir, what if we don't have the money for extra courses?" a Hufflepuff boy asks, his voice small.

*Sigh.*

The house of the loyal ones is riddled with dunderheads.

"Then work! Get creative about earning money! Life is about understanding your position and figuring out how to reach beyond it!" I say with a smirk. "If you haven't realized it yet, there's a war raging outside these walls for this very reason. A group of people is following a man who's reaching beyond his standing while ironically trying to hold you all back from doing the same."

"Class dismissed!" I command, watching as they all fall into deep contemplation.