He Who Feels Guilt [Honkai: Star Rail]

Narrator's Pov

Ryan came out of the room Herta was using to check on him, he looked mentally tired and exhausted, but there was something else in his eyes...shame, Herta came out of the room behind him, apparently happy, if it weren't for the almost inexpressive face her puppet had.

"I feel violated..." Ryan's arms hanged on his side as he sighed.

"Don't act like a baby" She scoffed a bit but then looked up to him. "Let's go talk with Himeko, she might want to know what I found out, so I might later send her some information."

Herta started to slowly walk away, Ryan simply looked at the short puppet and completely resigned he started to follow her.

"For now, I can't be sure if you'll become an Aeon or not, I don't remember people witnessing the birth of Aeons, some of them just...turned into them, there's no specific sequence of events, nor any known signs, you're already a huge irregularity, you could might as well already be an Aeon, and yet I wouldn't know it..." She crossed her arms above her chest, a bit irritated. "To think I could've missed the birth of an Aeon..."

"Aeons have their own set of powers, right?" He asked and Herta nodded with her head slightly. "Then I can assure you I'm not an Aeon yet...I have a pretty well understanding of myself, if I somehow received new powers, energy or abilities I'd realize it."

"Then that's perfect, that means I can still be the first one to witness and record the birth of an Aeon...Screwllum would be jealous if he wasn't such a blockhead sometimes" Herta sighed a bit but still looked up at Ryan.

"Screwllum?" Ryan raised and eyebrow a bit curious.

"Another member of the Genius society...he'd probably say something like 'this is something everyone should know about, the birth of a new Aeon is something that should be shared with all species and people, not something for you to keep to yourself and add to the Metavese' or something like that" Herta scoffed but then rubbed her forehead. "Anyways..."

"Are these check-ups going to be something regular?" Ryan asked a bit irritated.

"Indeed, I have to keep a constant record on your behavior and well-being, if there's a sudden transformation, mutation or discovery, I have to know it" Herta crosses her arms and Ryan sighed. "You should be grateful that I got my hands on you and not Ruan Mei...that woman might as well kidnap you, take some of your DNA and use it in her experiments, without your consent probably."

"Another member of the Genius Society?"

"Yes...she's rather...odd"

"You're not the best one to say that" he thought to himself forcing a little smile.

"She makes experiment trying to create actual living beings...who knows? Maybe you're the key for her to finally get something she considers a success"

"So she basically...tries to create homunculi? That's a bit dangerous, how does she do it?" Ryan seemed now actually curious as he rubbed his chin.

"But anyways...I would say I'm the most rational, understanding, generous and perceptive member of the Genius Society, but that'd be a lie...you should be grateful"

"I really appreciate your honesty, Herta" Ryan yet again sighed tiredly.

"But now...something important" she walked a bit faster and stopped in front of Ryan. "You...be careful of what you do from now on."

"Is there something I should know, Herta?"

"I you truly are in process of becoming an Aeon...be very careful with your actions, the path you choose could be dangerous, Aeons have already died or got assimilated by others due to their paths being similar, Aeons can kill other Aeons, if they see you as a threat, I doubt they'd hesitate to come themselves or send their Emanators...I'm not telling you this as a member of the Genius Society, I'm telling you this as an Emanator..." Herta narrowed her eyes a bit and Ryan simply frowned a bit.

"You're an Emanator?"

"Of the Aeon of Erudition, Nous, to be specific, you don't have to worry about him or me though, he might already know of your existence, and the most he'd do is investigate you, that's all...I'd dare to say he's the most passive Aeon of them all...but I can't say anything of the others...be careful, Ryan" Herta sighed and then turned around starting to walk again.

"Looks like you really can care, I think Asta was wrong about you, Herta." Ryan too sighed and followed her.

"Of course I care, you're one of my most interesting experiments, you're on par with the Metavese" Ryan immediately sighed to her words. "I would even come here myself if it weren't such a bother"

"I think I owe Asta an apology..."

After a few minutes both of them reached the Main control zone, where Himeko was speaking with Stelle, who seemed to be a bit conflicted, Himeko looked slightly to the side seeing Herta and Ryan and smiled a bit.

"Madam Herta, Ryan, I see you two are done" she smiled crossing her arms above her chest.

"Yes...we both finished" Ryan sighed and Stelle immediately chuckled. "What?"

"Nothing" she replied with a deadpan.

Herta immediately grabbed tight onto Ryan's coat pulling on his sleeves a bit as she looked up at Himeko.

"I want to keep him."

"M-Madam Herta...he's not a puppy." Himeko smiled nervously.

"I'd say he's more like a fox" Stelle smiled a bit and Himeko looked at her.

"You're not making the situation better"

"I promise I'll give him food and water 3 times a day, I'll let him keep contact with all of you, he'll get his own room...maybe I can squeeze in there some free time so you can have him on weekends..." She spoke still holding onto Ryan's sleeve.

Himeko didn't really know how to respond to her words, and the fact that she seemed to see him more like a pet didn't make it better, so she decided to look and Ryan.

"Help" Ryan basically begged to the woman.

"Sorry, Madam Herta, but I can't accept that..."

Herta scoffed and let Ryan's sleeve go. "Fine!...but do me a favor and make sure to bring him here regularly to keep and eye on him, who knows what might happen to him..." She looked up at Himeko and the woman sighed.

"That sounded more like a threat than a favor..."

Herta sighed "now, to change the subject of these disappointing negotiations-"

"It was basically a custody fight." Stelle interrupted Herta.

"Is this the Stellaron girl you told me?" she crossed her arms above her chest looking up at Stelle.

"Yes she is, Madam Herta, she's Stelle" Herta was about to talk but Himeko quickly stopped her. "You're NOT keeping her either."

"Yet another disappointment, if it wasn't for the fact that I could study Ryan...I would've already kicked all of you out of my station, I'll have to study this Stellaron girl too, to make sure that she doesn't try to explode again" Herta scoffed a bit irritated. "You can stay here temporarily until I finish the research on you or until I lose my interest"

"On the other hand..." Himeko spoke crossing her arms above her chest. "You could come with us in the Express, we have experience with Stellarons, besides, we can come here regularly, we already set up that plan for Ryan, after all."

"Why didn't I have a choice in the matter?" Ryan looked a bit irritated.

"You're a new species in this universe, so you don't have any legal rights yet." Herta replied almost immediately.

"That's...going to be a problem" he sighed rubbing his forehead.

"Stay here or go with the Express..." Stelle spoke softly and sighed. "I'll have to think it for a while."

"That's okay, you're not in my list of priorities yet, but that might change, my advice would be to get on the Express" Herta spoke softly and then looked at Stelle". "It's not that big of a favor for me to investigate you, I can always find another Stellaron at some point."

"There's no need to rush your choice, Stelle, the Express doesn't have any hurry in leaving, so you can take your time, go talk with everyone here and then choose what you like" the woman smiled a bit towards Stelle. "I will be waiting in the railway, when you have chosen, come find me."

"Yes yes, this seems like an emotional and climax moment of the day, but I need to do something so I'll be leaving." Herta spoke dryly and then started to walk away. "I have to put all my puppets in their places and find whoever moved them."

"She has...more than one?" Ryan looked at Herta a bit confused.

"She normally puts them all around the station...I think it's because she doesn't want to walk." Himeko sighed but then looked at Stelle. "Remember to think carefully, Stelle" she smiled at the girl before leaving.

"Hmmm...Ryan, what do you think I should do?" Stelle asked looking at the boy.

"It's not my place to decide for you Stelle, but if you want my personal advice...go with the Express, it'll surely be better than whatever Herta ends up planning for you..."

"What did you two do?" Stelle asked a bit curious.

"I don't want to talk about I..." He sighed almost in a depressive way.

"There there" she started to gently pat his back "the bad witch has already left."

Stelle's phone suddenly started to vibrate a bit and she pulle it out of her pocket...it was a message from Herta (the Evil witch that had just left)

"How did she get my number?"

"What is she saying?" Ryan looked a bit worried at Stelle's phone.

"She wants me to go to her office, she said there's something 'fun' to do...should I be scared?"

"My condolences." Ryan patted her shoulder and turned around starting to leave.

"That doesn't sound like a no...Ryan? Ryan answer!"

A few minutes later, Ryan reached the railway, seeing Himeko patiently waiting there...somehow she had took the table and chair out of the Express and simply sat there while drinking coffee, he went to the Express and walked into the Parlor's car.

"Aha! There you are!"

Ryan looked slightly down...

A small creature stood before him, it was similar to a black and white bunny, it had blue eyes, and wore a red coat that was closed around its neck besides having a big and tall red hat.

"Uh? Who are you?"

"I'm Pom-Pom! And you! You're the one who Stained with blood the floor of the Provision Wagon, do you know how much time I had to spend to brush that off?" The small creature seemed to be angry, Ryan should be terrified.

"I-I'm...sorry?" He looked a bit confused "I'll try to be more careful on where I...bleed on"

"Hmph! As you should, formal presentations now, I'm Pom-Pom the conductor of the Astral Express"

"I'm Ryan...Guest of the Express, I suppose"

"You're a guest, so I'll forgive your felony against the floor this time!" They spoke before slowly walking away.

"U-uh...is he a familiar or something?" He looked a bit confused.

"If only I knew..." A voice behind him spoke.

"Mr.Yang" he turned around smiling while looking at the adult.

"Pom-Pom can have a temper if you break rules or stain the train, but they're mostly kind, capable and compressive, don't be scared of the little creature...yet" he smiled a bit before walking to a couch sitting on it.

"Where will the Express go now? It travels through a lot of places, Right?"

"Yes...Himeko told me she decided to go to a small planet called Jarilo-VI, the data bank of the Express shows it was a beautiful place full of life, but that was a long time ago, right now we don't know what changes might have happened there" Welt explained to the boy.

"I see..."

"But for now we'll stay here, Stelle has yet to decide if she wants to come with us or stay, we are not in a hurry"

"By the way...I reached level 50"

"Good Job Ryan, things will just get harder and harder" he smiled a bit and pulled out his phone, opening the mobile game and showing it to Ryan. "But you still have a long way to go..."

"For how long have you been playing to be able to reach level 42,069?" He asked a bit nervous looking at Welt.

"At some point you'll reach this level of skill, as March 7th once told me, Git Gud." He smirked slightly

"What does that mean, Mr.Yang?"

"I...do not know"

A few minutes later, Ryan came out of the Express, feeling both, curiosity and dread from the message he had just gotten from Herta.

_____________

[Herta]

"Ryan, come to my office, there's something I want to test on you"

[Ryan]

"Can I decline?"

[Herta]

"You really think that is a choice?"

[Ryan]

"Fine...but what is it?"

[Herta]

"I'll tell you when you come, don't worry, I already tested it on Stelle, she's completely fine, she should be going to the railway right now."

[Ryan]

"Fine...I'll go"

[Herta]

"[Automatic Reply] Hi, I'm currently unavailable, and I won't be contacting you later"

_____________

What is an automatic reply? How can he write one of those? It would come in handy when he doesn't want to reply to messages while he plays with his phone.

He simply sighed and put his phone inside of his Kimono, he started to walk and immediately saw Himeko talking with Stelle, so he approached.

"Stelle, I suppose you've made up your mind?" Ryan asked smiling a bit.

"Yes...I decided to join the Astral Express." Stelle nodded with her head.

"A wise decision, stay as away from Herta as possible" the boy smiled a bit. "Don't worry, I'll entertain her enough for you to escape, Stelle..."

"I will always remember you sacrifice" she made a salute while sobbing.

"He~ you two are already acting like siblings" Himeko smiled looking at both.

"Really? I never really had siblings or too much people around my age so...I suppose this is a good change" Ryan smiled a bit but then sighed. "I have to go with Herta, Himeko, do you think the Express could wait a bit more."

"Of course, Ryan, we'll use this time to let Stelle get used to the Express and everyone in it, tell me when you're ready to come." She nodded with her head smiling. "Stelle, can you help me get the table and chair inside?"

"Free labor? Isn't that illegal?" Stelle crossed her arms smiling.

"Stelle pick the damn table"

While Himeko and Stelle talked, Ryan decided that I'd be the best to leave, walking towards Herta's office he wondered what she might want him to...he could've asked Stelle, but she seemed fine so it probably wasn't anything bad...right?

"What the hell am I looking at, Herta?"

Ryan looked a bit confused at a huge machine imbedded in the back of Herta's office, the machine let out a small blue light besides the small platform it had, had a glowing blue circle in the middle of it.

"This is the 'Simulated Universe' formerly known as the 'Metaverse' " she explained while looking at the machine. "This is a project I've been working with a few colleagues, this machine has an entire universe coded inside of it, it works as this one, but it's more customized and streamlined... I'm sure you don't understand how it works but-"

"It's a like s Pocket Dimension"

"...excuse me?"

"Pocket Dimension, it's an advanced spell that used Space Magic to form a distortion that allows the creation of a space that is smaller on the outside but bigger in the inside, some people use it to store items, others use them as homes, and there's even a very well inown prison that uses Pocket Dimensions as cells..."

"Can you...do that?" Herta spoke a bit excited.

"I only know the Theory... I'm not good with Space Magic"

"A shame...but anyways, you see, I would normally use this to discover more about Aeons...but I just found a personal use for it, you see, Ryan, I want to learn as much as I can about you, why you were nominated as a possible Aeons, what qualities made you a chosen one, the concepts of your world could facilitate my research about you...imagine being able to bring magic to this universe, from what I heard, you can make lots of things, I saw you using circles to walk in air, from what I understand you can manipulate any and all elements, you even confirmed being able to bend and distort space!"

"How would this...simulated universe exactly work?"

"It normally holds data from this universe, but it also scans your brain and memories, Aeons might still be able to appear...but that's just even better! You'll have your own identity, how do you think the Aeons would react to you being an Aeon in the making?! That'll just give us even more understanding about them."

"I don't know if you're just being selfish, obsessed or you actually want to help the other geniuses."

"Why not all of them at once?" She replied quickly and Ryan sighed.

"Fine...I'll help, what do I do?"

"For now...just sit in there, the machine will scan your brain, produce a scenario of your memories and we can continue from there."

Ryan simply resigned himself from questioning Herta, he walked to the circle and carefully sat on it, feeling himself going a bit numb as his eyes slowly closed...

He suddenly opened his eyes and saw himself in...the outskirts of a huge city surrounded by rock walls.

"This...this place..."

"Is that city in the distance your home? It looks clearly underdeveloped and rustic...you still used wooden gates?!" A small screen appeared in front of Ryan, the screen had a small round being, it somehow looked like Herta.

"No no this is...not my home, just a place I traveled by alongside...some people" he looked at the screen and chuckled a bit. "He~ is that you Herta? It's kinda cute"

"Yeah whatever, one of my colleagues, Stephen insisted on us using these 'Avatars' I only chose the design, not the form, to make the screen disappear just tap it."

Ryan tapped onto the screen and it disappeared in front of him, he looked around...the outskirts of the city he remembered quite well...

"It...looks just like I remember"

"What is this place anyway?" Herta's message appeared once again.

Ryan moved the screen to the side as he walked towards the city "it's a major city of the South Kingdom... it's called Reubz..."

"From your tone I suppose something happened here? Am I going to witness what some people call 'an origin story'? It's weird that enemies haven't appeared yet..."

"Enemies?"

"Yes, again, Stephen insisted in adding some enemies because he I quote 'loves videogames' end quote."

"I mean... I'm starting to like videogames too"

"Good, then some enemies appearing should be fine...Stelle ended up fighting what she called a 'Boss fight' so be ready for that too, I'll keep an eye in you, entertain me"

"Yes, Herta..." Ryan tapped on the screen making it disappear.

He was...conflicted, he hadn't been even close to the real city because of the trauma, his lower lip trembled a bit but then he calmed when he heard something behind him...

He turned around seeing...a green slime, and a pair of wolves.

"What the hell is that green thing?!" Herta's message appeared and Ryan quickly dismissed it.

"It's a slime, a quite common but still dangerous monster..."

Ryan looked slightly down and smiled a bit, the Katana he had lost in the real world was now sheathed on his waist, he slowly reached down to it and held the handle with his right, holding a Iaido position.

"Uh, I suppose the Simulated Universe coded a weapon for you? Interesting...probably has something to do with your memories."

The slime, pounced at Ryan, but he wickl unsheathed his Katana slicing the slime in two, and also hitting a small sphere inside of the monster, breaking said sphere making the slime dissolve.

The two wolves moved towards Ryan surrounding him from both sides attacking him at the same time, the white-haired boy quickly sidestepped dodging one of the wolves, and then jumped above the other one making it go below him, he quickly decapitated the wolf that had gone under him, and when falling to the ground, he turned around and in a quick slash, cut off the front les of the other one before stabbing its head killing it.

"Such a display of Gore, you seemed to almost not have trouble at all." The screen appeared once again before Ryan.

"I haven't really fought these monsters in...a long time, my home is pretty safe, but the few monsters that are there are...bigger and stronger" he explained and then dismissed the message but, it appeared again quickly.

"I think a boss is coming now...you probably jinxed it"

"Fine...let's se what it is-"

A silent stomp made Ryan's entire world crumble, he slowly turned around and his eyes opened wide, sweat starting to slip down his forehead.

The monster before him had crimson skin, it was big, probably twice as big as Ryan, it has muscles well built, it had legs covered in brown fur, being those the legs of a goat, his head also one of a goat, having a pair of curled horns on the sides of his head, his torso seemed to be humanoid, if it weren't for the three fingered hands with sharp claws he had...

"Y-you..." Ryan muttered giving a step back, a message from Herta appeared.

"Ryan?"

"Chevalier" another message of Herta appeared.

"That thing can Talk?! What's a 'Chevalier'?"

Ryan couldn't move, the grip on his katana stayed completely tight but he couldn't find the strength to attack the demon before him.

"Quorim..."

As he muttered the name of the demon, it started to move towards him slowly, the steps of the monster slightly cracking the ground as Ryan stood completely still...starting to hyperventilate.

"Ryan? What's wrong? Move"

Ryan didn't even looked at the message, his eyes completely fixated on the demon coming closer and closer, he could still remember him, the demon remembered him, because Ryan also remembered him, the pain he felt that day...

The day where Quorim killed....

"Ryan! Move, what the hell is wrong with you?"

The demon rose up his right hand, pointing its three claws towards Ryan's chest, Ryan closed his eyes, and then the demon flung his claws directly at him...

Ryan immediately opened his, being now In Herta's Office...one of Herta's puppets was looking at him, noticeably angry as the machine of the Simulated Universe slowly turned off.

"What the hell did you think you just tried to do?! You almost forced yourself out of the Simulated Universe! I had to turn it off before you did that stupid thing! How you even managed to-!" She immediately stopped looking at Ryan.

He was still hyperventilating, sweat slipping down his face, he looked like if he was about to cry and break down at any moment...

"This...This was a bad Idea...sorry Herta"

Ryan immediately stood up and quickly ran out of her Office...leaving Herta alone...she sighed deeply.

Having accepted those lessons of sympathy from Stephen and Screwllum would've come in handy...

★ ★ ★

A/N: I couldn't think of another title for the chapter but anyways, Yay~ two chapters in a single day, and this one is even longer than the one from before, I actually hate myself because while writing this it's tempting for me to pair Herta and Ryan but I'm not sure yet.

I haven't even decided if I should do only 1 girl for Ryan or do a small Harem (probably 3 or 4 girls maximum) but still. I would like to hear your opinions in that matter.

Harem? (If yes then say who you'd like)

Only one (you can also say who you'd like)

This is not a poll, I just want to know which opinions you have in the matter of Ryan's relationship.

Anyways! Hope you enjoyed.