He Who Feels Guilt [Honkai: Star Rail]

Narrator's POV

"Ryan, can I ask you something?"

"Yes, Mr.Teo?"

A young Ryan of 6 years old looked up at the black haired half-elf with a slightly curious gaze, at the same time he made sure to pull off his katana from the corpse under him, sheathing his small weapon on the scabbard he had on his waist.

"Tell me, Ryan, it has already been...some time since I took you in, we're really close to finishing my vengeance" the man closed his eyes for a moment before looking directly at the kid's eyes. "I've taught you to kill, right?"

"Hmmm? Yes, you told me to kill whoever stood on our way, Mr.Teo"

"I've seen you kill...you even have a smile while doing it" Teo's face formed onto a small frown. "Why is that?"

"Uh? Because it's fun!" Ryan quickly smiled looking up at the man. "Besides, I'm using what you taught me so that makes me happy!"

"Only...that? Are you sure? don't you...enjoy killing?" Teo asked again this time with a small glint of concern in his eyes.

"What? I don't really feel anything when doing it, I'm only happy because I'm killing them with what you've taught me." The small kid looked around seeing one of the various corpses twitch slightly. "Ah! That one's still alive!"

"Ryan wait..." Teo quickly got on one knee holding the kid's shoulder "I want you to answer this sincerely..."

The man stared down at the smiling kid, he felt a knot in his stomach, something very weird on him, the usually calm assassin simply opened his mouth speaking.

"Have you ever felt any guilt?"

....

A barrier had been created around the village of the Ice Spirits.

A barrier strong enough to keep anyone from going outside of it.

On the center of the village, a fight was taking place, between various guards of the Ice Spirit Village and Ryan Chevalier, who was now wearing a cloak seemingly made of shadows.

Ryan leaned backwards dodging the sword of one of the guards, in a swift movement he threw a slice with his katana decapitating the guard, without wasting a second he waved his hand to the side throwing a blast of fire towards a small group of guards who quickly covered themselves with their arms, unfortunately this stopped them from properly reacting as Ryan quickly dashed through the fire and in a fast swipe of his weapon he split them in half.

Another small group of guards just watched in horror at how the wounds of the death spirits started to be covered in black smoke, their bodies slowly dissipating in that same smoke.

"T-that's...!" One of the guards gave a step backwards, clearly scared. "That's True Death! We can't regenerate!"

"True Death?! Then he is... it's the Chevalier!" Another guard screamed.

At the words of the man the soldiers simply looked scared at Ryan, the white-haired boy gave a step forward ready to pounce a the men to kill them but a wall of Ice came out of tthe ground separating them, Ryan looked up and quickly jumped backwards avoiding various Ice Lances that fell from the sky.

"Everyone stand back! None of you are match for him! Go and try to evacuate any survivors!"

Perla fell on top of the Ice wall that separated Ryan from the guards, she looked at how the guards behind her immediately turned around and complied with her orders, she looked towards the front and quickly leaned her head to the side dodging a flying ethereal katana that had gone directly to her face, she created an Ice longsword in her hand and using it she blocked Ryan's Katana.

"What the hell are you doing?" Perla spoke as she struggled in the clash of their weapons.

Ryan simply kept silent as he used a magic circle to push himself away from the girl, Perla grunted lightly and jumped down from the wall, she waved her free hand throwing a wave of Ice directly at Ryan.

The boy quickly did a downwards slash with his katana splitting the wave of ice in half before jumping up and away landing on the roof of one of the houses, Perla likewise jumped to the opposite house standing on the roof looking directly at Ryan.

"Ryan! Is this what the Emperor planned?! To have all of us eliminated if we didn't comply with what he wanted?!" She screamed at the top of her lungs.

"..." Instead of replying Ryan simply sheated his weapon getting into a Iaido pose.

"No...you're not Ryan..." The girl gritted her teeth. "You're That Thing!"

Perla immediately created a second longsword in her free hand and jumped directly towards Ryan, the white-haired boy immediately unsheathed his weapon throwing a cut at the girl, Perla managed to block the attack using both of her weapons making them crack slightly, her dull red eyes looked directly at Ryan's silver eyes, at the sight of those eyes Perla felt a shiver down her spine.

"Bring him back"

In a quick movement Ryan backed off and quickly threw a stab attack towards Perla who tried to block this attack with one of her swords that unfortunately shattered in her hand, she was forced to move aside to dodge the thrust of Ryan's attack and used her movement to take inertia and attack the boy with her other katana.

Ryan moved his free hand, covering it in black smoke as he strikes Perla's weapon shattering it, the girl grunted and dissolved the remains of the sword and instead creating an Ice Spear in her hand throwing a thrust at Ryan who spun around dodging the attack and throwing a downwards cut at Perla, his weapon was caught mid-attack by an ice wall that engulfed his weapon, Perla moved her free hand throwing the Ice Wall forwards pushing Ryan with it.

The white-haired boy quickly pulled his weapon from the Ice wall and with a slash he sliced in half but was met with the direct hit of an Ice pilar that sent him flying away.

His body hit various houses going right through them until he finally crashed inside an empty house, before he could even get up, a shower of Ice chunks fell on the house burying it and its remains completely in Ice, Perla landed on the ground and tightened the grip around her spear, she dumped magic into it making her weapon glow and got ready to throw it at the ice...she wasn't taking any chances.

She threw the spear that made its way through the Ice, as the weapon got ready to explode it was deflected and shoot upwards exploding in the air creating a blinding light that forced Perla to momentarily close her eyes.

She regained her sight after a second but barely got to react as Ryan stood now in front of her with his weapon sheated, of course, the white-haired boy immediately unsheathed his katana throwing a slash at the girl, Perla backed off as fast as she could, but her left arm was completely severed from the rest of her body.

Even if she tried to regenerate said arm, seeing the black smoke coming out of her wound simply made her grit her teeth as she froze what remained of her arm to stop the bleeding, she looked at Ryan who simply sheated his katana again and got ready to jump at her once more.

"This...Feeling"

Perla's eyes started to faintly glow, her hair slowly turning into a slightly darker colour, the girl felt her entire body lighter, like if she was floating, like if everything around her had completely dissapeared with the exception of the enemy she had in front of her, unknowingly, even to her.

She had ascended...

Ryan dashed towards Perla, but midway to her, an ice pilar grew out the floor incredibly fast, hutting him directly in the stomach and throwing him upwards to the air, in the middle of the air multiples Pilar's of Ice hit him again and again until an ice spear came from the sky piercing his shoulder and throwing him against the ground, he managed to pull the spear out of his shoulder and spun falling kn his feet, but Perla's hand immediately grabbed his face.

The girl rushed with the boy's head in her hand and dragged him across the walls of one of the multiple houses before throwing him away, Ryan rolled across the ground before quickly getting on his feet and moving away to dodge another ice pilar that grew out of the ground, but from that same pilar, anotger one came out directly hitting him and throwing him away, as soon as he regained his footing in the ground he tightened the grip on his katana and deflected various Ice Spear that fell from the sky towards him, making them bury on the ground around him.

It was too late when he realized the fact that all the spears around him were now glowing brightly, all of these exploded simultaneously, trapping him between chunks of Ice, Perla landed in front of him and immediately rushed towards Ryan, creating an Ice Spear on her hand and using it to stab Ryan on the stomach, the boy coughed some blood on the girl's face, she seemed to react at this, givinna few steps back as she looked at Ryan...seemingly scared

Both the Ice around Ryan and the spear in his stomach dissapeared, he fell on one knee, a hand the wound he had in his stomach, the black cape slowly dissapeared around him, letting his white hair fall on his face, he slowly looked up at Perla, his now normal eyes looking directly at hers, making the girl recoil a little.

"Ryan, I'm- "

Unfortunately she let her guard down...

Almost immediately, Ryan stood up and dashed towards the talking Perla, his katana completely piercing her stomach, he then twisted the sword inside of her and with a cut he pulled his sword out of her, completely tearing the girl's stomach open.

Perla simply stood silent, her blood spluttering on the ground as she looked directly at Ryan's eyes, she seemed to see something in them, something she never thought she'd ever see in him.

Guilt.

She rose up her right hand, grasping Ryan's left shoulder, her hand seemingly tearing through Ryan's clothes directly touching his skin, a blue glow on her palm as something was slowly printed on the boy's shoulder.

"This will freeze you whole, your body, your mind, your soul, it'll feed on your Guilt, it'll drive you to death...that new feeling in you...it'll be what finally–"

Before she could finish, Ryan threw an upwards cut, cutting off Perla's remaining arm, the girl simply closed her eyes as the next attack decapitated her cleanly.

Ryan gave a few steps back, falling on a knee as he let his katana fall on the floor, and held tightly onto his left shoulder, he felt some Ice slowly starting to grow on him, his hand then slowly went towards his chest, tightly grasping his clothes, clenching his teeth, not wanting to scream as he looked directly at Perla's severed head.

Looking slightly more up, he saw a few Ice spirits guards looking at him, and at the corpse of their leader, Ryan closed his eyes, forcing a straight face as he let his chest go and slowly picked up his katana, he then stood up and started to walk towards the Ice spirits.

He still had orders to fulfill.

...

"Ryan! How are you holding up?!"

March looked at the white-haired boy who leaned backwards dodging the sweep of an Everwinter Shadewalker, before dashing to him, yanking off its halberd and then using it to split the Fragmentum monster in half.

"Not...ugh! Good" Ryan stumbled lightly as the golden veins in his body grew a bit more.

He almost fell on one knee, a flame spawn got ready to tackle him from behind, but before Ryan could do something, Dan Heng quickly stabbed the Flame spawn destroying it and went towards Ryan softly grabbing the boy's shoulder.

"It's getting worse...Ryan, you should go and stay safe, you can't fight like this..." Dan Heng looked at Ryan who simply clenched his teeth.

"I have to kill Cocolia..." He grunted and fell on one knee, the golden veins almost reaching the height of his eyes.

"Svarog! Take Ryan to someplace safe" Serval rose her voice as she looked towards the robot.

Svarog quickly complied and went towards Ryan, Dan Heng allowed the robot to take the white-haired boy away, Svarog left the platform alongside Ryan, who did nothing to stop the robot, simply grunting while the golden veins kept growing all across his body.

"Ryan, your energy level is dangerously low" the robot announced as he got away enough letting the boy on the ground. "If this continues–"

"I'll die, I know, I'll figure something out, leave me here and go help the others" Ryan grunted slightly taking a hand to his chest.

Svarog turned around and started to run back towards the fight, Ryan simply sat on the ground, with his back resting against a destroyed wall, he let out a sigh and he was about to close his eyes but before he could do it...

He saw how Stelle fell from the shoulder of the Engine of Creation with an Ice Lance completely piercing her abdomen.

Ryan's face suddenly relaxed, his eyes slowly closing as the golden veins kept growing across his face, almost completely covering it completely, his right hand grasped the chest of his clothes, feeling as if he had just gotten stabbed, at the same time, he felt his shoulders heavy, like if he had hundreds of boulders on his shoulders.

"If I Had Killed Cocolia Sooner"

The boy slowly closed his eyes...and then a mask appeared on his face.

★ ★ ★

A/N: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Okay, had to get that out of my chest, fuck this chapter took me longer than it should have, I meant to end Cocolia's fight with this chapter, but at the end decided to go against that, so the fight will finish on the next chapter.

Anyways, sorry for the incredibly large amount of time since the last chapter, I was busy, but right now I should be more free Sooooo...I'll try update in less than a month next time.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed