NOVEL NEXT chapter 38
38: Can’t Study During the Holiday
This is a story from another world.
I think that in this world, humanity has become every conceivable life form. There were both males and females, and it didn’t matter if they had a defined form or were amorphous.
In the first place, I was born as a “concept” that wasn’t even a living being, spent an almost eternal time, and yet couldn’t achieve a natural lifespan.
And so, every time I am reborn, I think the same thing.
“I can’t understand the feelings of other living beings.”
When I was a female creature, I couldn’t understand the feelings of male creatures. When I was amorphous, I couldn’t understand the feelings of creatures with defined forms.
My soul, which has been repeatedly reborn, believes that I can somewhat sense the feelings of other living beings from accumulated memories. In fact, there have been times when I predicted the feelings of other living beings based on past experiences.
But I was wrong every time.
The world is different. Even if I was born as a life form called “woman,” it is a completely different entity expressed by a similar name.
First of all, the world I am living in right now is incredibly diverse. Just because we are the same species does not mean we share the same thoughts.
Different positions, trends, and various influential factors intertwine and diversify people’s ideologies.
That’s why I don’t understand Sheila’s feelings at all.
“So you’re just saying we should go see a movie!?”
I’m not just saying it! Can’t you hear me yelling?!
We were somehow arguing. This was a fight that had started for no apparent reason, and I couldn’t think of any clear cause.
It all began when Sheila, along with two other female students from the external transfer group she leads, me, Martin, and another person from the escalator group, suggested going to see a movie during the long vacation in May.
First of all, I couldn’t understand why Sheila had this kind of presence as the representative of the external transfer group. She was on the escalator from the kindergarten to elementary school, and she was only in the middle school.
Is it okay for outsiders like them? She may look like an outsider, but she’s practically on the escalator.
Well, that’s not important.
What’s more important is this argument.
During the Golden Week holidays, I was invited to see a movie with Martin and the others.
I declined, saying, “No, I want to study during the holidays.”
Then Sheila yelled at me in an angry tone.
I don’t understand the meaning.
Of course, I never intended to say that “the main duty of a student is to study” and force others to do the same.
I am enthusiastic about studying because it expands my possibilities more than not studying, and I fear that my academic ability will decline the moment I stop preparing.
In other words, it is completely my personal situation, and I do not blame those who neglect their studies during the holidays.
In fact, I want them to neglect their studies more and more—because the more others neglect, the fewer competitors there are.
In short, studying is my personal situation.
I don’t understand why I have to be yelled at just because I am making my personal schedule based on that.
Sheila’s way of communicating is usually either “yelling” or “getting angry,” so I’m used to it.
Our arguments have a playful aspect to them, and I am aware that I have said some terrible things to Sheila. We have exchanged insults that would not be allowed if it weren’t between us.
However, we have trust between us.
What has secured that trust is the “point of no return.”
We both intuitively understand the line of “it would be bad if we say anything more” and we never go beyond that line.
Also, we never make completely baseless complaints—I may say some terrible things to Sheila, but I don’t use insults like “bald,” “fat,” “stupid,” or “ugly” that are completely untrue. Sheila is the same.
Our relationship is maintained by an invisible agreement.
This persistent anger and yelling clearly violate that agreement—Sheila’s anger is something I can’t comprehend no matter how much I try, and while feeling perplexed, I yelled back at her.
“Hey, hey, come here.”
When the shouting match reached its peak, I was invited by Sheila.
So, she wants me to go outside.
Fine. It seems there is a prevailing sentiment in society that “men should not physically harm women,” but that doesn’t apply between us, right?
In my mind, I reviewed the military-style combat techniques I learned in a previous life several times.
Although I had a humanoid form at that time with four arms, it’s different now in this life. However, the application has been proven during my elementary school days.
After a while, I was taken from the classroom to the hallway by Sheila, who whispered in my ear.
“I want an excuse to take Martin out.”
It seems that Sheila actually wants to punch someone, but it’s not me; it’s Martin.
I agreed and proposed to Sheila. Alright, I’ll hold him from behind. You can render him unconscious before Martin can call for help…
“That’s not what I’m talking about! …Well, how should I put it…”
Summing up Sheila’s inarticulate statement that gives the impression of a conflict, “Can I really say this to Rex?” it can be summarized as follows:
“Friend A is interested in Martin, so I want to create an opportunity for the two of them to talk.”
Knowing the situation, I sympathized with Sheila, who was being forced to be a matchmaker for our classmates’ love affairs. I wanted to help her.
But as for me, I want to spend the break studying and reviewing, so proceed with the conversation without me.
“It’s okay to help me, right? Just for a day!”
Alright, let’s be honest – I can’t stand the idea of Martin being happy…
“Isn’t that a bit cruel!?”
It’s not logical at all. If you want to bring Martin and that girl together, there is no need for me to be involved. After all, you approached us when there are already three people present, including Martin and me. In other words, even without me, there is someone else besides Martin.
I can understand the desire to avoid a one-on-one situation due to youthful consideration, but if it’s a two-on-two situation, we should be able to consider our immature side enough.
In response to my explanation, Sheila confided in me.
The other person here and the other person there also want to bring them together.
In other words, they are planning a double date with me and Sheila as a buffer.
I simply thought, “Real life is fulfilling. Die.”
Or rather, isn’t there a recent surge of sweet and sour atmosphere? The main duty of students is studying. Study, you guys. What are you doing during the break? Going on a date? Nope, studying and reviewing.
I can’t help but think about those students who don’t spend their break studying, and every time I see them, I feel like shouting, “The main duty of students is to study!” That’s how I feel right now.
But I can sympathize with Sheila…
We are first and second in the class. We compete with each other, and our grades are evenly matched. We don’t know when our rankings will reverse.
Yet, Sheila is wasting important study time for the love advice of our classmates. What’s so sad about sacrificing oneself for the happiness of others?
To me, who is doing my best to make myself happy, Sheila appears to be either a saint or someone with a screw loose. Perhaps they are the same thing.
However, as Sheila kept persuading me, it seemed like it wouldn’t be a bad choice to owe her a favor.
My studies are about fifty percent aimed at surpassing Sheila, so if Sheila spends the same amount of time studying as I do, it could be considered a zero-sum game.
I reluctantly agreed. Phew. Phew phew. Phew, phew, phew――
“Thank you. I’ll find a way to thank you later.”
Phew? Phew. Phew phew.
Phew.