Harry Potter: The Witty Wizard

After her own breakfast, where she spotted a clearly unhappy Albus Dumbledore sitting sulking in his seat as he glared about at the few students still remaining, Griselda Marchbanks made her way back to her office.

Dumbledore had left a frightful mess of the documents and records and she was slowly working her way through it.

Like Dumbledore before her, she preferred her mail to be delivered to her office and not at breakfast. She felt that reading mail at the table was disrespectful.

Carefully sorting through them - most were congratulations she was still receiving from various folks - she found one semi-formally addressed to her from the young man who initiated all these changes, Harry Potter; or, better still, Lord Harrison J Potter, as it was addressed.

She broke the seal with her wand tip and unfolded it.

Reading through it she was at first perturbed by what she was reading, then outraged.

'Did he?' she thought. 'Dare he? Yes, he bloody-well would!'

"Damn, the man!" she snapped.

Turning to her side where she preferred house elves to attend her, she firmly called, "Elf!"

When one popped in she immediately asked, "Did Albus Dumbledore, while Headmaster, ever ask you and or the other elves to spy on any student?"

"Yes, Lady Headmistress," the elf immediately replied.

With a thunderous frown that frightened the elf, she asked, "Any particular student or students?"

"Yes, Lady Headmistress," the elf replied. "Elveses being ordereds by Perfesser Whiskers to spy on the Great Mister Harry Potter Sir, Mister Harry Potter Sir's Miss Hermy Grangy and Mister Harry Potter Sir's Mister Pi- Rronn Weasy."

"Anyone else?" she demanded.

"No, Lady Headmistress."

She thought a bit and muttered, "Time to flip the wand on that son-of-a-squib."

Looking back at the elf she said, "How did you report to Dumbledore what your spying discovered?"

"Perfesser Whiskers would have elveses come to him, here at night, when he beings alone. We reports then."

Scowling, she ordered, "From this moment forth, the elves are to no longer spy on any student for anyone. If anyone gives you such an order you are to immediately report the matter to me, even if I'm not alone.

"Also from this moment, you are to use the same orders Dumbledore gave you to spy on the students to spy on him, instead. And report to me the same way he ordered you to report to him. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Lady Headmistress," replied the elf.

"Now, find the ghost of... Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington and tell him I want to see him in my office, immediately."

"Yes, Lady Headmistress," replied the elf, before it gave a bob and popped away.

Then she turned her chair to stare at the portraits. "Did Albus Dumbledore, while Headmaster, ever ask the portraits to spy on any student?"

While the portraits of the past Heads gave indignant huffs and splutters, the portrait of Dilys Derwent gave her own huff and replied, "We do not report on the matters of previous Heads, Griselda."

"Fine!" she snapped "Did anyone ever successfully order the portraits to spy on any student?"

The portraits all muttered among themselves before Derwent replied, "Yes. But, we cannot identify that person."

"It's irrelevant," she snapped back.

"From this moment forth, the portraits are to no longer spy on any student for anyone," she ordered. "If anyone gives any portrait such an order it is to be immediately reported to me, even if I'm not alone.

"Also from this moment, the portraits are to use the same orders, whoever ordered them to spy on the students, to spy on Albus Dumbledore, instead. And report to me the same way he ordered to be reported to him. Do you understand?"

When Derwent seemed to refuse, Black gave a chuckle and replied, "Yes, Griselda. It shall be done."

"Good. Make sure those orders are disseminated throughout the castle within the day!" she ordered.

"It shall be done," he repeated.

While she waited for the ghost of 'Nearly-Headless Nick' to arrive, she sorted through more of her mail.

He arrived about five minutes later.

"You wished to speak with me, My Lady Headmistress?" he politely asked, floating into the middle of the room.

"Sir Nicholas," she said, in greeting. "Did Albus Dumbledore, while Headmaster, ever ask the ghosts of Hogwarts to spy on any student?"

"Yes, My Lady," he replied.

"Damn and blast it all!" she snarled. "From this moment forth, the ghosts are to no longer spy on any student for anyone," she ordered. "If anyone gives any resident ghost such an order it is to be immediately reported to me, even if I'm not alone.

"Also from this moment, the ghosts are to use the same orders Dumbledore ordered them to spy on the students, to spy on Albus Dumbledore, instead. And report to me the same way he ordered to be reported to him. Do you understand?"

"Yes, My Lady," he immediately replied. "We ghosts of Hogwarts were never comfortable with the order the scoundrel Albus Dumbledore gave for us to spy on those three students. It was sickening.

"I will be most pleased to pass on your directive to the ghosts of Hogwarts. It will be... satisfying to 'turn the table', as they say, on that old... man."

"Good. Thank you," she quietly said.

Sir Nicholas gave a courtly bow that only dropped far enough his head didn't tip off, before withdrawing again.

Now she had a letter to send back to the young Lord Potter. She would write his reply first of those she would be writing that day.

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