Gacha Gacha Hero

Luke stepped in through the Cabin door. He sniffed the air.

“What is that smell?” he asked himself.

Luke walked into the kitchen of the Cabin. A cloud of steam obscured the room. He could hear the sound of bubbling water and sizzling oil.

“What is happening?” Luke looked around in shock.

Ash’s head poked out of the fog. “I’m making dinner.”

“Oh?” Luke looked confused. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Why?” Ash shot back. “I can do it just as well as you can. Or am I not allowed?”

“Huh? No. It’s fine.” Luke backed out of the kitchen.

“I told him he didn’t have to do it.” Ave said.

Luke jumped. “Oh Ave. There you are. I didn’t see you when I came in.”

Ave was sitting in the corner of the living room. Eins sat next to her.

“He wanted to do it by himself.” she said.

“I told him he could just wait until you got back.” Eins said.

“What did he say?” Luke asked.

“He insisted on making dinner himself.” Eins barked.

“He didn’t listen. No one ever does. Wanted to do it all by himself.” Ave crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. Eins sat quietly on a bench beside her.

Luke scratched his scalp. “I suppose it is my fault for being late.”

There was a *Crunch* from the second floor landing. The floorboards let out a *Creak*.

Deus waddled down the stairs. The goose’s giant body *Squeaked* against the railings.

“Is dinner ready yet?” Deus asked.

“Almost!” Ash shouted from the kitchen.

“Fantastic. I’m starving.” Deus honked.

#

Ash placed several pans, plates, and pots onto the table. He de-lided the pots. A mixture of steam, smoke, and condensation covered the dining room table.

“Everyone dig in.” Ash said.

Luke, Ave, Eins, and Deus hesitated. Each pot contained an almost identical pile of beige mush. Luke poked at the contents of one container. “What are these? Mashed potatoes?” he asked.

“Those are peas.” Ash replied.

“Oh? Yum.” Eins said.

“Is this bacon?” Ave looked at another dish.

“That’s fish.” Ash answered.

“Looks good.” Eins added.

“Is this creamed spinach?” Deus asked.

“That’s a salad.” Ash snipped.

“Plenty for everyone.” Eins barked.

“Either one is fine by me. Honk, honk, honk.” Deus buried its bill in the pot. “Wow. Amazing. This is certainhy disgusting. Some of the worst I have ever had. It is a good thing that there is so much of it.”

“Now, now. This is my fault. I should have come back to the Cabin sooner.” Luke said as he filled his plate.

“Your fault!? You think my bad cooking has anything to do with you!” Ash slammed a spoon down on the table. “I make a completely edible, temperature consistent meal. I guarantee that nothing on this table is undercooked.”

Ave stirred a pot. “You shouldn’t have used charcoal. It’s too hot for the stove.”

“I am a master of charcoal! I can handle it.” Ash barked.

“Now, now, I’m sure everything will taste fine.” Eins waved both paws at the table.

“Very well. Is there any salt?” Ave asked politely.

“Here.” Ash replied politely. He placed a salt shaker in front of her.

“Butter?”

“Also here.” he slid a butter dish over the table.

“Cilantro?”

“Chopped it.”

“Garlic?”

“Minced it.”

“Pepper?”

“Cracked it.”

“Saffron?”

“What? Saffron!?” Ash yelled.

“Never mind.”

Ave set to work. She scooped up repeating layers of condiments and piled them on top of the grey mush on the table in front of her.

Ash gave her progress a critical eye. “Are there any toppings you don’t need?”

“Hey. You cooked it how you liked and now I get to season it how I like.” she shot back.

“You’re not seasoning it, you're burying it.”

“Well that’s appropriate because your food tastes like dirt. I feel like I should be eating it with a trowel.” Ave shouted.

Deus looked up. “Do you want one? I can get one for you.” The goose straightened its neck “Hork, hooork…”

“At least I’ve done something to help around here!” Ash said with an aggressive yet passive tone.

Ave’s wooden spoon *Cracked* in half. “Are you serious!? Who do you think has been doing the laundry for the last two weeks? Did you never wonder who changed all the towels and blankets in the Cabin while you were out humping trees in the woods?”

“How selfish can you be? We’ve been doing all this for you. You’re supposed to be recovering. Now you say you’ve been running up and down the stairs changing sheets. Why didn’t you ask for help?” Ash outburst.

“Ignoring your friends and making a mess isn’t helping! This dinner of yours only proves that you wouldn’t listen to me anyway.” Ave shouted.

“Come on everyone. No need to get angry.” Eins raised a paw.

“Hork, horrrk…”

Luke put up his hands. “Listen you two I can fix this. I’ll remake the entire meal. There’s no need to fight.”

Ash turned on him. “My meal isn’t the problem.” he pointed. “And you don’t always have to fix things.”

“Yes I do.” Luke voice got higher. “This is my responsibility.” And higher. “I have to make it right!” he yelled. “Neither of you would be in this situation if it wasn’t for me.”

Ash crossed his arms. “Sure…”

“What does that mean?” Luke shouted. He stood up suddenly. The color drained from his features. “You… you do believe me don’t you?”

Ash said nothing.

“You, you have to believe me. I’m telling the truth. I’m the one that messed everything up. I ran away from the Capital. I summoned a Demon Lord. It’s my fault.” Luke pointed across the table. “Ave, you were there. Tell him.”

Ave played with the end of her spoon. “I saw… something. Just a man. Maybe it’s like Belbuk said. Maybe there are no Demon Lords anymore. Maybe there never were.”

Luke ran both hands through his hair. “Please, I’m, I’m not…”

“Hork, hooorkkk…” *Gulp-Pshuuu*

A garden trowel was ejected out of Deus’ beak at maximum speed. The tool impacted a chaffing dish in the middle of the table. The ceramic dish shattered on contact splattering sticky gruel across the room.

Ash wiped mush out of his eyes. “Great.” He turned to Luke. “Is this your fault too?”

*Whimper*

Everyone at the table turned.

Eins’ nose twitched. Huge wet tears were running down the dog’s face like twin waterfalls.

“This was a mistake.” Eins blubbered. “This always happens. *Sniffle* I should have never left the Donjon. *Sob* I hate fighting. Awowowo”

“Eins… no, we…” Ave tried to say.

“I shouldn’t have come here. I only make things worse. Awowowo. Goodbye.”

There was a *Puff* of smoke.

Eins was gone.