For the Record

“Hey, I thought I should warn you that the idiot did another idiot thing, good luck.”

That’s all Nyx said before dematerializing.

But what does that even mean?

I sigh. I guess I’m about to find out.

…

No more than a few minutes later, Nemesis floats up… or rather, floats behind some… thing in a black robe.

Whatever it is, it has tentacles hanging out of every opening. It’s kind of unsettling… or rather, very unsettling.

“Well, go on,” my spouse says to the nightmare thing.

And it kneels before me and gurgles, “Izzy, I belong to you and to my master.”

…Izzy?

“Nemesis? Where is Pips?” I ask hesitantly.

My monster spouse tilts their head. “What do you mean?”

“She’s right there,” they say, gesturing at the robed thing.

Oh.

Oh gods.

I gape for a moment, then whisper, “What… what have you done?”

“Hm?”

“What have you done to her?” My voice is tinged with anger.

Which makes sense. How could they… what?

Nemesis smiles back… an unusually gentle smile, one I’m not used to. “I fixed her. She was sad, too sad, right? And that was making you sad. So now, she won’t make you sad anymore – she literally can’t feel sad! Plus now she’s as immortal as the rest of us, so you get to keep your friend forever! This is a good gift if I say so myself.”

…

“You don’t even understand.”

“What don’t I understand? I fixed your friend so you can be happy again. I didn’t even know I could do this to people without them asking for it! Or agreeing or whatever, I guess, but that’s just details anyway,” they say with a shrug. “You are happy, aren’t you? I did this for you.”

I stare down at Pearl, who is still kneeling. “Of course I’m not happy, Nemesis. How could I be happy with this? You turned her into a monster. I know she was hurting but… wait. Wait,” I catch myself. “You said… without agreeing?”

Nemesis blinks but doesn’t say anything.

“Did you… force her to become this… whatever she is now?”

They lean down and pat the thing… Pearl’s head, who lets out a gurgling purr in response. “She said it herself, she had nothing left, which means she had nothing left to take. So I gave her this. And since she asked what I wanted from her, I’ll say it now. All I want is for her to continue being a friend to you, because it makes you happy. I’ve felt through our bond that being with her makes you happy. So I’m giving her to you. She’s yours now, with a new purpose and a new reason to live.”

“But,” I say in a dangerously shaky voice, “you didn’t let her choose. Did you? You can’t just give a person to someone. That’s not how it works!”

“I just did. I’m a god, I can make it happen.”

“YOU SHOULDN’T THOUGH!” I snap.

I feel confusion leaking through our bond… which, means they must be profoundly confused… I don’t feel much from them unless it’s very strong.

“You shouldn’t, though,” I say much more quietly. “You should let people choose things like this. Especially big life changing things!”

“I don’t really see what the big deal is. She’s more than she was before, plus she can’t feel sad! Do you have any idea how tedious it was, keeping her from feeding herself to the razorvines or whatever else? That’d make you even more sad! I won’t allow it, I WON’T ALLOW IT. I won’t let her hurt you, no matter what it takes!”

I sigh a truly mournful sigh. “I thought you were getting better.”

“Better than what? I’m just me, no more and no less.”

“Please don’t fight,” Pearl gurgles. “I can’t make you happy if you fight. Let me make you happy.”

I stare down at her in shock and whisper, “What did you just say?”

She bows even lower. “Master has ordered me to dedicate my life to making you happy. I must make you happy. Let me make you happy.”

“Oh. Oh, Nemesis…” I say with genuine horror. “You didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?”

“You took her free will, didn’t you?”

Nyx must be getting impatient… I could still see bits and pieces of her from the corner of my eye, so I know she was at least around, but now she materializes in a burst of ash. “That’s exactly what they did. This poor monster is nothing but a puppet now, about as complex as those wraiths they keep reprogramming to do whatever.”

“Why? Why did you do this to her?” I ask, betrayal tinging my voice.

Nemesis just stares at me for a moment.

And then sighs.

“I can probably give some of it back, you know. I’m pretty sure whatever subservient whatever I put on her is like the thing master did to me… Um. If it makes you feel any better, I think master is mad at me too, I have this throbbing pain in my head I’m not used to and it’s not letting up.”

“I wouldn’t blame him. You’re a monster. You’re a monster, Nemesis. You have no idea. How can you mean well and do something this monstrous? How!? Tell me, please, I don’t understand. I don’t understand you!” I say, my voice quivering. I can feel tears forming.

They move to take me in their arms, but I push them away. “No, not now. Not now! Gods. This is wrong… so wrong. I don’t know how you could possibly make it right!”

“I don’t get it. When you’re sad you want to be held, but you’re sad and you don’t want to be held?”

Nyx sighs. “Because you’re an idiot, and I’m not a marriage counselor, but even I can see this is going to need a ton of work. Just, let’s find a place to sit down, both of you.”

***

“I don’t see how this isn’t salvageable.”

“Of course you don’t, idiot,” Nyx snaps.

We’re sitting in a small tearoom usually intended for meetings between guests not involving people of my lofty stature.

Meanwhile my wife is sitting across from me, trying to resist quietly sobbing and failing miserably.

And Pearl is kneeling to the side, a loyal hound if ever I saw one.

Which, I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen one before, so I’m not sure where that even came from.

“First things first,” Nyx continues. “Release your mind control. Yes, I know, she said she had nothing and clearly had no reason left to live, but that’s no reason to take away someone’s free will. You might get a pass for that if she’d asked you to, but she didn’t. Free will is very important to mortals.”

I tilt my head at my former Assistant. “If I release it, she’s going to be sad again, and that would make Izahne sad. Isn’t that a bad thing?”

Rubbing the bridge of her nose Nyx replies, “People need to be free to feel what they feel. Besides, look at her. Maybe it’s just me, but she looks more sad now than she was before.”

I… can’t refute that. She looks completely heartbroken.

So I glance at Pearl, take a hopeful breath, and release the mind control to the minimum.

And Pearl lets out a long, wet breath. “I hate you.”

“Hm?”

“I said I hate you! You fucking suck, you goddamned monster!” she shrieks.

“Yeah, that’s fair,” Nyx says.

“Why?” I ask, as Izahne practically falls from her chair to wrap her arms around my hateful pet.

And sob. “Oh, Pips. Pips! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”

I sigh.

***

Izahne said she didn’t want to sleep tonight, not with me, so I didn’t see a point in retiring to my chambers.

That didn’t prevent Olive from pressuring me to change my attire. Whatever. Human things.

Some of my retainers seem… off now, somehow.

Not Olive, she seems about the same as usual, same as Rose.

But Vivianne is standoffish… and Omorth seems just generally uncomfortable, like he doesn’t know what to do around me.

Abaris is nowhere to be found, but that’s fine. He’s mortal, and apparently I’m supposed to respect their free will or something. Whatever Nyx said, anyway. Speaking of which, she’s more hostile again too.

What was I supposed to do?

I sigh, the ash catching on the wind of the upper castle ramparts. I’ve been gazing off into the nothingness of the empty sky. I suppose it’s the night sky, considering it’s late and the streets are empty. But then, it’s always night here on my plane.

“That is two strikes against you.”

I whirl around to see a white al-mir’aj sitting nonchalantly on top of one of the crenelations.

“M-master?” I blurt.

“Three strikes and I will purge you. Do you need to be reeducated? I told you once. YOU WILL NOT TOY WITH FREE WILL.”

The pressure of his presence presses me down into the stonework, some of it cracking beneath me.

“AND YOU WILL NOT TOY WITH ME.”