For the Record

I can’t say I’m that surprised that Artemis doesn’t actually bother organizing her people at all – after all, I get the impression that they gathered around her and not the other way around. Plus, her thinking seems to be pretty strongly tilted in favor of might makes right, much like the people of her plane.

Good thing she doesn’t want to test me right now… she’s probably stronger than me.

Well, whatever.

With the help of the others, I’ve already got a functioning plane now. Except for one little problem…

Since all the Rose clones share the same knowledge and awareness, it means I have a direct line to all the towns, sure… since I installed one at each town as the leader by mandate. That unfortunately also means that I have the original Rose following me around, constantly informing me of any and every minor dispute that happens among the citizens.

I tried telling it to just handle them, but unfortunately social management is something a dungeon core is apparently woefully unequipped to handle.

Fortunately for me, having Rose give me all the updates all the time has left one of my staff without their old job…

Vivianne.

She’s actually been following me around as well, along with Omorth – both insisting that they’re acting as my bodyguards now.

But I don’t need either of them. I’m terrifying on my own.

I don’t really have an excuse to get rid of the animated sword, at least for now, but the ancient knight?

I have an excellent idea.

“Vivianne.”

“Yes, my queen?”

…

That used to bother me. Why is it bothering me less now?

I grin. “I have a task for you, and I think you will appreciate it. You know how you used to give me status updates all the time?”

She nods. “That task is no longer required, apparently.”

“Yes. However! I can’t be bothered to deal with all these minor arguments or disputes or whatever it is Rose keeps putting in front of me. It’s too much, what’s the point of ruling a plane if everyone keeps asking me to do things or make decisions?”

(Isn’t that what ruling is?) Nyx quips.

Yeah, yeah. But I can do better. Also, screw all that.

As Nyx sighs, I continue. “So I’m bestowing the honor of managing the leadership of the many towns and villages upon you, and will ask that you continue your previous habit of giving me a daily update, as well as passing along any truly relevant information.”

…

Why do the people around me keep hiding their elation by pretending to be hesitant?

“If you’re that pleased with it, then I’ll assume you accept?”

“Yes my queen!” she says, bowing sharply at the waist. “You will not regret this!”

“Good,” I reply matter-of-factly. “See that I don’t.”

In the meantime, Artemis has called me for tea.

***

The subcore maids apparently aren’t as dexterous as the vampire maids were, let alone my fox goddess wife. While I’ve reclined on my usual divan, the one attempting to serve tea has only spilled the contents on the table four times now.

Much to our chagrin.

Artemis in particular seems frustrated, I know she’s put a fair amount of time already into attempting to train them.

I guess their design never considered the need for an Avatar to handle small or delicate implements. At least it hasn’t broken any –

I’m interrupted by the sound of breaking porcelain.

“Should we make other arrangements, then?” I ask my conversation partner.

She closes her eyes and sighs lightly. “Who?”

“Why don’t we select a handful of villagers that demonstrate the right characteristics? Rose and her subcores are skilled enough in basic tasks like cleaning, right? There have got to be some monsters here with the hand skills to manage this kind of thing. And, well, if not we can make some, right?”

Actually…

“No, wait. I have a better idea. You, uhhh subcore maid…?”

“We are Daisy, master.”

“Right, Daisy. I’d like you to create some monsters here, if you would.” I glance thoughtfully at Artemis. “Let’s start with nine, one head and eight subordinates. The head maid will be a nightwalker, and the others split between nightwalkers and gorgons. All women, please, we do have appearances to keep and male maids wouldn’t do for bath attendants.”

“All gorgons are female,” Daisy intones.

“I see. Anyway, let’s do that. And start them with hmmm… Arty dear, what Skills would be good for maids to have?”

My random use of a pet name seems to have startled my wife, considering how wide her eyes went, but the emotion dominating our link is definitely embarrassment…

“Knife,” she finally answers. “Stealth.”

“Are we building maids or assassins?” I ask.

“Yes.”

Oh, I see. The maids double as guards and internal spies…

She nods emphatically.

“Alright, and what else?”

My wife thinks for a moment, and then starts listing Skills. In the end, we have Ambidextrous, Cleaning, Cooking, Hospitality, Knifework, Subtle Action, Shadow Step, and Stealth… among others. That’s not even taking into account race-specific innate Skills like nightwalkers’ Drain or gorgons’ Petrify and Paralyze. It’s rather inclusive, even though they’ll all be starting at level 0 to begin with.

I guess I’ll need to have them train up somehow. I can have them kill goblins or something, they’re ridiculously cheap to spawn.

“Master,” Daisy nudges.

“Hm? What is it?”

The not-a-nightwalker tilts its head curiously. “Dungeon spawn can be created with initial levels applied. Do you desire creating them at a higher level than 0?”

Yes… YES!

***

Ah, this is so much better!

I’m sitting on my throne with a gorgon maid fanning me – not that I can possibly overheat. The nightwalker head maid stands behind and to the side, in Artemis’ old place, while Arty herself is similarly reclining in her own throne to my right.

The others are currently managing the subcore maids to maintain the rest of the castle, from cleaning to kitchen work to laundry to… actually, I don’t know what else maids do.

But every single one of them is level 1000 – except for the head maid, she’s level 1500. That has to be high enough to repel basic invaders, right?

(You do realize that most adventurers are in the twenty to two-hundred level range, right?) Nyx snarks.

Uhh, no I didn’t? But this is still good, right? Appropriate for the castle of a literal demon lord?

…

Some things never change… you still sigh when I talk.

(Can you blame me?)

Well, I guess not.

Anyway, since I didn’t want to bother with retraining my castle staff any time one of them actually does get killed, I set them all as dungeon bosses. Basically the castle is one giant boss chamber, with nine bosses in one place. The way Rose explained it, I think they only count as one boss as a unit… but it at least means that if they die, they’ll respawn with their memories intact. Dungeon monsters typically don’t have full souls, not the normal way anyway, but sentient ones can, an option I elected for with every single monster villager we’ve created… after all, what’s the point of making people if they’re not actually people?

(At least that decision wasn’t monstrous.)

Oho? Is that approval I hear?

(Gods… shut up. Idiot.)

The best thing about making them dungeon bosses instead of retainers though is that I don’t have nine more bonds crowding my head. How am I supposed to keep track of all these people? One person’s emotions are confusing enough!

Hmmm…

“Arty, how many retainers do you have?”

She blinks at me for a moment before answering. “Thousand, of four. More?”

Oh.

“That’s… a lot. You don’t have trouble managing them?”

“Ignore,” she says with a shrug.

Huh. I guess that’s one way to do it.

…

“Is that normal? For gods, I mean. Do most of them have a lot of retainers and not actually pay attention to them?”

“Domain. Run? Less involve, trust… do?”

…

It’s still not particularly easy to understand her.

Although…

“I’m confused about something. A long time ago Pearl said the reason you… have trouble communicating, was a fox spirit thing. But you’re not a fox spirit, are you? You’re a divine… What was it?” I glance at her Status again. “Right, divine beast. What is that, anyway? Is that why you have trouble talking?”

Artemis gives me a long look before saying, “Follow,” and standing from her throne.

***

A flash of blue fire later and we’re standing in a particularly large clearing on the Feral Isle. The ground is scarred with signs of battle, from deep gouges in the earth to seared-black burns.

My wife points to a spot at the edge of the clearing. “Stay,” she says, “Watch.”

“Alright,” I say, tilting my head.

If Astraea never knew Artemis was Artemis, odds are good she never knew any of this, so I can’t blame it on forgetting.

As I think to myself, she’s already walked to the center of the clearing, and turned to face me.

And then her clothes vanish.

…

Is this one of those other weird things she –

I’m interrupted by an enormous flare of white flames, bursting around her in an array that almost looks like some kind of flower. And in the center of the pyre, the dark humanoid shape drops to all fours, and expands.

My wife grows larger and larger, until eventually in her place stands an enormous white fox the size of my entire castle, surrounded by wisps of blue and white flames. Her nine tails spread out behind her.

And then she lays down on the ground, her face toward me, and huffs out a light breath through her nose that blows my clothing back.

Her lips separate briefly, exposing her teeth, just long enough for her to rumble in a dark but mellow voice, “TAH-KUH. HAH-DUH.”