Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

Kiri, Yami Uchiha's Grandson, is somewhat influential due to his grandfather's position as the Kage's Advisor. While Yami has been a straight-shooter of a shinobi in his entire career, becoming one of the rare few Uchiha Jonins to survive till their old age, Kiri was anything but obedient.

Coddled by his grandfather from an early age after his parent's eventual demise, Kiri grew to be quite assertive of his desires, even compared to other Uchiha members. Yami becoming an Advisor served to increase his circle of influence within the clan. And to be fair, Kiri is hard-working and dedicated to mastering his craft like most Uchiha members. He worked his way up the ranks of the Police before having a team of his own, only to eventually fall under Mikoto's leadership a few weeks ago.

"Kiri, you and Igari scout the southern exit of the prison."

Kiri perks up a bit at the mention of his name. He looks similar to what others will consider an Uchiha in terms of appearance: Sharp facial features, jet-black hair worn in unruly natural spikes, and pitch-black eyes contrasting with his fair skin. But the slight perkiness in his actions is carefully hidden by a scowl as he only snorts in reply.

Igari Uchiha: A fair Uchiha maiden with dark-brown hair tied into a bun and Juzo Uchiha: A muscular Uchiha variant with a squarish jaw and flat chin; flinch in Kiri's response.

The duo worked under Kiri for a while and could be considered the young chunin's confidantes. Hence, they took part in beating blessed upon Kiri just as much. Mikoto gave no quarters to Igari despite the woman being older and married to Juzo.

The fact that Kiri could even lead an Internal Police team as a Chunin spoke more about the youth's skills than the Organization's administration.

Yet, Mikoto bulldozed her way through their anger and rebellion as a team with her thin frame and surprisingly twisted Taijutsu somehow made to counter the Clan's techniques.

"Anything you would like to say?"

Kiri stares at Mikoto quietly and decides against replying. He and Igari disappear while Juzo is stuck with Mikoto, who quietly observes the forested ground between the Intelligence Department (T&I) and the Police Building. Under their feet is the massive prison accessible to both departments for safekeeping and information gathering.

"Um… Mikoto-san—"

"How many times do I need to tell you that no honorifics are required? Besides, You are older than me, Juzo. Just… call me Team Leader, Leader, or Boss."

Juzo nods and gulps.

"B-Boss. What are we supposed to do?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

Mikoto narrows her eyes, Sharingan spiraling into existence as she demands, "Did I stutter?"

Juzo shakes his head.

After much deliberation, Mikoto decided to treat every Uchiha as she would treat her young brother. Not exactly the same, but how she would treat Sarachi if he grew so disobedient—Ass-whoopings till he regains his wits. Now this strategy doesn't work on people with a tremendous age gap.

Mikoto can't just whoop the likes of Yami or her father. But the situation is simple. Mikoto's success encouraged Fugaku to set personal guidelines with other Shinobi he trusts. More and more Clan shinobi are getting stricter with their children. Yata controls the clan's side, while Fugaku controls the active shinobi side. Mikoto and the rest are the executioners of set guidelines.

And the results are apparent.

"Boss?"

"Shut up!" Kiri hisses at Igari and glares at the woman while traveling on tree branches. "If that crazy woman hears you call me the Boss, you'll get us to the hospital again! We'll be lucky if she lets us get to the hospital in the first place and doesn't get all Tsunade on us. Juzo graduated from the Iryo-nin course. Why isn't your husband half as good as… Team Leader?"

Igari seals her lips shut as their surroundings grow dark eventually while they inspect the southern exit of the prison in the form of a sealed boulder.

"I just wanted to say that others are questioning your…"

"Questioning what?" Kiri raises an eyebrow.

"Well, you haven't been to any meetings for the last two weeks."

"Those meetings are pointless." Kiri turns around after the inspection and supplants. "I refuse to gather weak punks who think Sharingan is all that much compared to other talents. What happens when we lose our eyes? No. I'm gonna be better."

"Sharingan is our gift!" Igair retorts, her pride in her strength taking a slight hit from Kiri's words as he snarls.

"Some gift it is that makes the lot of you lazy once you unlock the first tomoe. Who among the three Sannin is an Uchiha? The Clan went into the war, did it not? Aside from Madara, who went batshit crazy on us, who else made a name for themselves that stood out?"

Igari turns silent as Kiri exhales a nasal huff. As much as his cheeks burn in embarrassment, and as much as he resents admiration blooming within him, Kiri adds, "Tell the others in the meeting: I'm done playing politics when I'm not even the best I can be. Heck… Fugaku is only two years older and is stronger than the rest of us combined. Mikoto, too. She's only ever used Taijutsu when beating us for questioning her abilities."

Igari lowers her head. Her expression was sullen.

Not everyone will perceive Mikoto's actions in the same manner. Some will resent her, others will fear her, and a small group will admire her. But in the end, Mikoto did not care too deeply. As long as they reached their desired results, she was willing to play the bad cop… only Rikudo knows Kai and others are enjoying her 'darker' side.

The duo soon reports to Mikoto as she nods quietly and remains in their positions until Mikoto frowns and looks to the sky.

The sun has already set, and that's when she feels something odd. Her hones instincts and senses as a nature chakra sensor goes off in an immediate alarm. Other similarly skilled Shinobi feel the same as Mikoto as they look at the sky.

Those with an impossibly sharp gaze notice a small beige-like sphere freefalling from the surface of the cloud, but in the next few seconds, the layers of cloud are torn open in one fell swoop as a gigantic hill hurtles its way on Konoha.

Toward Konoha's prison!

"Well." Tsunade narrows her eyes, not even dressed in her jonin attire. A green haori with the word 'Gamble' on the back covers her sleeveless grey kimono blouse held together by a broad dark-blue belt, emphasizing her bust and cleavage, over similar-colored pants, and open-toed sandals. She likes the fit so much that she has four pairs of it! She crosses her arms under her breasts and focuses on the tiny ball pressed against the artificial meteor.

"Well, what they're looking for isn't in the prison."

Not far from Tsunade, within the Hokage's residence, Jiraiya claps his hand.

"Alright, Shikaku, wake up!" Jiraiya looks at the fly-eyed toad in the shadow and nods, "Just keep an eye on the surroundings. That mountain is a distraction."

As if confirming Jiraiya's suspicions, one of the men from the Detection Team informs promptly.

"We just detected three shinobi entering the barrier. One of them is a Jinchuriki, and the other two Shinobi have high chakra reserves! Elites, at least!"

"Modes of entry? For the one with the Jinchuriki."

"Some kind of sphere. We couldn't pinpoint the nature transformation, so it's likely a Kekkei Genkai."

"Hmm."

Shikaku, meanwhile, scratches his head and yawns. "Only Third Tsuchikage and his immediate family know how to fly, right? But they won't offer a Kage and a Jinchuriki. So, I think Onoki is here himself. We should worry about what Jinchuriki they sent our way, Nibi or Hachibi?"

"No," surprising Shikaku, Jiraiya corrects the lazy prodigy. "We need to worry about the guy carrying the Jinchuriki. If I'm not wrong… then we'll have trouble getting rid of the enemy's defense. But we'll worry about it once we confirm our border is safe."

"And the mountain flying toward the prison?" Inoichi questions as Jiraiya plays with a senbon crafted from chakra metal in his hand.

"I suppose we all have to trust that we are capable of fulfilling our roles."

"Then why'd you wake me up if we aren't going to move?" Shikaku snorts and lays his head on his hands again.

Her pale-yellow eyes focused on the rapidly reinforced ball pressed against the giant mountain. Orochimaru's senses went crazy with the sheer hostility emanating from this ball.

'The impact range should devastate a large portion of Konoha. Things would have been troublesome if the mountain descended from a higher point, but my area should be largely untouched.'

She looks sideways at the small white snake coiling around a thin needle stabbed into the mountain's surface.

'I do wish Onoki attacked my side. I could question the original Kai about what he'd been working on for so long. But… it's also a pleasant turn of events that he isn't here.'

"Planning on attacking Konoha, too?" She looks at the small snake, who hisses in reply.

"What do I earn from thattssss? I am here to ssssseeeee."

"See what?"

"The stone moved… that stone never moves, but ihhhttttttt did. The entire Shikkotsu is abuzz."

Orochimaru frowns as the Snake Sage hisses.

"Predictions point that all the Five Villages will have a hand in something monumental… I wish to see it myself."

"Is it happening anytime soon?"

"Compared to my lifespan, yes. Within a decade, maybe."

The Snake Sannin rolls her eyes and turns around to return to her position.

"The only reason I am not devouring your 'son' is because you somehow pppaaaaasssssed. Never forget that. We are cold-blooded by nature."

Orochimaru half-turns to stare at the tiny stage, which is merely a vestige of someone large and terrifying.

"I will be making use of my summons again from now on. Mitsuki is closer to your teaching. You can confirm it with the summon he binds with. As for devouring him or not, I don't particularly care. You have always been the master of your slither, and I'll act appropriately the next time you decide to drop such a fruitless threat."

The tiny snake slowly crumbles into the ground while Orochimaru returns, but her pupils were slitted like snakes and pointed.

"Onoki." Hiruzen meanwhile disrobes to reveal a dark outfit and wears a plated helmet. He adjusts the guards on his limbs before looking at Inoshi, Shikudo, and Choku.

He taps the small sphere set on his table above a purple cushion. The glass ball seems ordinary on the surface.

"You shall use the Telescope Jutsu until we weather these events. Shikudo knows what to do next."

Shikudo nods as Hiruzen performs a few seals before slapping the nearest wall.

"Summoning Jutsu."

*Poof*

A humanoid, white-furred monkey, much taller than Hiruzen, waves his hand and clears the smoke before looking around and nodding at the Ino-Shika-Cho trio.

"What happened? You called me before the battle even began?"

"Well," Hiruzen looks past his window, causing others to follow his gaze as they watch the descending mountain seriously.

"Onoki is not the kind to give us time for things we ought to prepare. Shikudo, keep an eye on Onoki using Telescope Jutsu, and Inoshi, keep me informed about the Jinchuriki's actions—theirs and ours."

"I bet I can pierce the mountain, but destroying it will be hard." Enma, Hiruzen's summon, strokes his fur, similar to a goatee on his chin.

"That won't be necessary. Our only worry is dealing with Onoki."

"Hmm. Don't wave me against his Dust Release."

"I know better than that."

---

Anyone would try to leave their positions if they saw a flaming mountain flying in their direction. Not Mikoto.

Why?

She just felt a rather familiar hand pinch her butt before disappearing before anyone could even sense this individual.

None of the four Uchiha felt anything!

And that became a source of her trust in this ruthless world.

"We cannot stay!" Igari hisses as Mikoto uses this chance to stabilize her position in this group as the top bitch by narrowing her eyes. "You move, you die. Stay in your position."

As hypocritical as she sounds, Mikoto finds herself on the side of morality, where the end justifies the means. She feels she wasn't like this. But then again, she would instead prioritize the safety of her people through brutal means than go soft and let them be the reason for their own downfall. Besides, she has an individual to control her if she ever gets out of hand, so it is comforting to her in a twisted sense.

Igari and Juzo are intimidated, but the flaming meteor happens to be quite a compelling reason for them to go against their orders—

"Just listen to what is asked of you!" Kiri snaps at his teammates. "If you're afraid of death, stop being a Shinobi while pompously posing as the mighty Uchiha, you runts! Wherever we run, it'll get us! I have a mole as my summon—"

Mikoto raises her hand and points up without looking.

"That won't be necessary."

"Huh?"

Her team looks to the sky at once. Their vision was compromised by the flaming meteor.

"Huff, you two run too fast!"

*Ruff*

The trio then looks to the side and finds three other shinobi—A blonde, a redhead, and another one with a dog.

"Train more, dattebane! Kai and I have been training without rest!"

"I know what kind of training that is." Tsume scoffs and sniffs in Kushina's direction before pouting slightly. As she grew… her head pat privileges almost disappeared without anything more fulfilling in exchange!

"M-Minato?" Kiri recognizes one of them. Others still try to ignore Kushina since anything wrong may get them another beatdown of their life.

Women around Kai… are surprisingly violent.

"Ah, Kiri-san. And Mikoto-san. Our team leader wants us to keep up with his pace."

"Your team leader being?" Mikoto questions leadingly as she already noticed the ridiculous mask on her fiance's face.

"The Dragon Sennin."

Minato chuckles wryly. Only those around Kai and the Hokage know of his identity so Kai wanted to keep the pretense for some reason.

Kirin and others blink in surprise as they look up to the sky. Their Sharingan spiral to life as they observe a muscle-bound figure with brown-greyish claws and rough scales spreading from the back of his hand. His grey-blue hair flows wildly behind him while the pink octopus mask with pronounced lips reflects the orange glow of the flaming mountain.

His speed doesn't falter one bit.

Upon closer inspection, the Sharingan users notice a strange chakra reminiscent of Wind Nature flowing through the figure's pores that seems to allow him the ability to… fly.

[Sage Art—Air Stream.]

Kai quietly closes in the distance with an odd look of disappointment.

Time is always short.

He isn't disappointed he had to dig into his reserve of SP to master a new thing, but Kai is disappointed that he didn't get to master it through the grind. But he did not want to face the top dogs of this world without knowing he could have been stronger.

[Hiraishin-Guiding Thunder (20/20): Creates a barrier connecting one point to another in space-time through unique key seals developed by the user. Every level reduces the formation of the seal by 2.5%. Every level reduces chakra consumption by 2.5%. Current Consumption: 17000~??]

[Yin-Yang Chakra Cloak (2→5/5): Converts chakra into a certain proportion of yin and yang nature to bolster the mind and the body. Each level increases the three stats by 10 points. Each level increases the boost by 100%. Reduces the consumption of charka by 10% at every level. Current Consumption: 2812/sec.]

[Name: Kai

Age: 15

Title: Jonin Instructor

Gamer Traits: Skill Tree; Sleepless Gamer

Rank: Jonin

Hit Points: 100%

Stamina: 100/100% (50.1%/min)

Senjutsu/Chakra: 350014 (100004→ 106604+250%) || (3377.5/min) (920→ 965

+250%)

Physique: 505→ 535/1000

Mental: 587→ 617/1000

Perception: 522→ 552/1000

Water: 55/100%

Wind: 33/100%

Fire: 21.3/100%

Earth: 46.8/100%

Lightning: 31/100%

Yin: 50→ 56/100%

Yang: 50→ 56/100%]

[Skill Points: 3103→ 1828]

[Reduction of Chakra Wastage: 100%]

[Reduction of Senjutsu Chakra Wastage: 54.5%]

{A/N: Hiraishin and its variants are S-ranked so 60 Sp for each level up.}

Kai scoffs as he stares at the rubbery balloon. There is no way he could just let it pass through him for fun and receive no consequences from Hiruzen, so he stops his flight midair and senses the three sources of surprise intent lock on him.

'Cunts. Told you I'm better even with all three Sannins combined.'

He extends his chakra senbon as his hands form hundreds of seals in a blink of an eye that leaves the watchful Mikoto shaken. She only caught three seals.

Even Minato stares with awe. Yes, he is aware that he created the jutsu, but putting a newly theorized jutsu formed from Fuin into practice is easier said than done.

Kai feels Senjutsu Chakra drain rapidly from his being since he can create fuin with Senjutsu after hours of practice, and a web of seals easily beyond 30 meters in diameter spreads from the tiny senbon. Yet, showing the difference in use compared to Minato's expectations, Kai finally feels a little in tune with the feeling of the seal.

It's the same instincts that make him want to bang his head against the wall because of how irrational it feels.

Yet, in this barely excitable moment, Kai feels dull. And in this depression of being unable to practice the seal through hard work, Kai sinks into a strange mood.

Onoki feels his heart twist with worry as the supposed seals… move.

Seals don't move, once they are set. That's why they are called seals and not some Ink-Jutsu. Seals work with nature and already stored chakra to perform specific functions.

So, when Onoki watches the web of seals converging forward like a flytrap, he flies high to avoid anything unknown.

But the travelers in the rubber sphere are not that lucky. After all, the seals converged in an instant like the bloom of a lotus occurring in an inverse!

*Fwip*

The mountain disappears from the sky above Konoha as one of the senbons planted far from the village at Kai's behest glimmers and reveals the same seal.

The seals converged into the single point bloom open in the next instant, and the mountain crashes upon the forest tens of kilometers away from Konoha!

'That… was new.'

As if trying to cheer him up, he receives an unsolicited notification from his trait.

[Affinity with an external element has reached the basic trait category.]

[Added Space-Time Affinity.]

***

Alternate Title: Mikoto Loves Playing a Baddie; The Future Mom of the Decade; Kiri's a Tsundere?; Uchihas are Filled With Tsunderes; No Uchiha Among Sannin; Madara Did Go Batshit Crazy; Onoki's a Stone Cold Killer… Get it?; Why Did You Wake Shikaku?; A Reaffirming Pinch; Kushina's Getting her Cardio, Dattebane! *Kyubi from Distance* Sluuuuttttttttt; Don't Threaten Mommy Orochi's Child; The Stone Moved? Which One?; A Depressing State that Leads to Good Things; Space-Time Affinity

***

A/N: I think there should be an affinity of this kind since Otsutsuki and their devil spawns can do shit with it without a single hand seal.

***

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