Elden Ring: Miquella's Consort

(A/N: Why did nobody tell me there was an actual Elden Ring MANGA?!)

Alistair smirked :"I'm pure evil."

Miquella smirked :"Oh, really? How evil are we talking?"

Alistair :"Whenever I see an occupied public restroom, I make sure to repeatedly try to open the door to give the person inside paralyzing anxiety."

Miquella :"*Confused screaming*"

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He continued in the cave, where it led up to two more Wandering Nobles and another Soldier of Godrick, the one with the crossbow. The nobles with a single hit each, and their clumsy movements guaranteed Alistair wouldn't be harmed by them. The soldier didn't pose a problem either. After dodging his two arrows, he didn't have enough time to take out his sword before Alistair felled him with two strikes. Leading to gaining his crossbow, bolts and runes.

[Runes: 67 -> 116

Heavy Crossbow

Lordsworn's Bolt x5]

After killing a few more nobles, he was finally going to face his second boss. That was obvious from the black and yellow illusionary wall he found. Miquella frowned at it :"W-what is that? I've never seen such a thing."

"Basically, it means we're going to get our ass beat." Alistair snickered :"These walls appear when we're going to face a "boss", who's basically a very strong opponent. All the demigods get these, for example. We would have gotten it for that Grafted Scion too, but I guess the system hadn't appeared yet."

"Ooh, I get it. Alright then, you should prepare yourself for combat. I'm rooting for you, Alistair." His name sounded so good in his voice. So much so that his cheeks flushed as he smiled :"Thanks. And don't worry, this will be nothing."

[Runes: 116 -> 569]

It WAS nothing. The Soldier of Godrick (boss version) literally took three hits. Two of which came from the stance break after he did a flying charged attack. As the corpse laid on the ground, Alistair was speechless. So much so that he looked around, searching to see if this was just a normal soldier and the boss was going to spawn in at some point.

"That was... it? I didn't usually play this area..." He blinked, shocked. Miquella seemed to be shocked too, because he was momentarily speechless :"It seems like that Grafted Scion truly was the problem here."

"I told you. Alright, that should have been the last of them. Let's get out of here now." Moving again, he found himself on a cliff facing where he had woken up. He couldn't help but glare a bit at the golden tree. It was such a scam for it to be there but without a Golden Seed accompanying it.

Walking again, he made his way out of the cave, where he found another Site of Grace and an imp statue seal with a locked area beside it :"Gotta come here later." He spoke to Miquella who hummed nonchalantly. He wouldn't mind it if Alistair wanted to explore.

He found an elevator, which ascended when he stepped on the middle, taking him to a higher floor, where he saw a shut iron door. As he stood in front of it, it looked quite imposing :"I'm supposed to lift this up? And completely at that?"

He took a deep breath. It was his only way out. Putting down his axe and shield, bowed to get a grip from below, and gathered all of his strength.

"W-whoa?!" But he nearly fell back on his ass when it flew up. The force he used on it causing the wall above to crack a bit. He looked at it with surprise, before nodding at his arms, impressed by his own strength :"Damn~. Alright, this is gonna be fun."

He spotted the good old nostalgic The First Step Site of Grace, before spotting his favorite money ba- ahem ahem friend. He barely stopped his happiness from appearing on his face, but Miquella sensed it in his mind :"You seem to be happy to see that fella. Is it someone you... wait a minute, isn't that Varre?! He's supposed to be a subject of Mohg! What is he doing here in Limgrave?!"

"Uuh... I'll tell you later." He mumbled, moving his lips as little as possible. He didn't want Varre to think him crazy. After all, he would rather die than miss out on getting to that money ba- ahem ahem palace of Mohg early. If he missed his chance with getting Varre's interest, he would need to progress until the damn Consecrated Snowfield. And he'd be damned if he waited that long.

Walking up to him, he gave a polite smile and a small wave :"Hello, stranger. Good morning." Varre had already set his eyes on Alistair the moment he walked out of the building, as if specifically waiting for someone to walk out of there.

"Ah, yes, hello and good morning to you as well, young... Tarnished, are we?" He sounded amused under his white mask :"Come to the lands between for the Elden Ring, hmm?"

Alistair smirked :"What, is it written all over my face?" Causing Varre to grow further amused :"Of course you have. No shame in it. Unfortunately for you, however, you are maidenless."

Alistair's face twitched, and the sweet melody of Miquella's loud laughter in his mind did not help calm it down at all :"M-maidenless! Hahahahaha, maidenless, he says!"

Varre either completely ignored his annoyance, or was having fun instead, because he continued :"Without guidance, without the strength of runes, and without an invitation to the Roundtable Hold... you are dated, it seems, to die in obscurity."

Alistair could feel the vein pulsating harshly on his forehead. Hearing this guy from a screen and in person was two different experiences. And the latter made it all the harder to stay his axe.

'Calm down... calm down.' He calmed his heart :'Remember, Albinaurics are on the line. Those sweet, sweet Albinaurics, and their sweet, sweet runes. You can NOT mess this up.'

Just the thought of the Mohgwyn Palace calmed him down instantly. Who gives a shit about maidens? There was a tremendous amount of runes on the lines. And besides, he was gay for Miquella anyway. So really, of all people, he didn't care about no damn maidens.

"Is that so?" With his rage gone, he just treated Varre's jabs as jokes from an old friend. He was one technically anyway :"So what do you propose, Mr wise guy?"

He heard an amused little scoff. Barely audible as Varre continued rubbing his hands together weirdly :"Well, aren't you a well mannered Tarnished. First, you are polite enough to greet me with a smile, then calm enough to not attack me for my little jokes? My, oh my, I sure struck a good one.

As a reward for your behavior, allow me to depart a bit of useful advice to you. Luckily for you, however, there is one shining ray of hope for even the maidenless. Me. Varre. Take care to listen. Are you familiar with grace? The golden light that gives life to you Tarnished."

"You mean that one?" He pointed behind him, a few meters away from them. Varre looked as well before chuckling in amusement :"Unfortunately, I am unable to see it. But if you can see a golden light there, then yes, that is most definitely it. You may also behold its golden rays pointing in a particular direction at times."

Alistair's finger, pointing at the Site of Grace, silently moved across the light traveling north before disappearing as Varre continued :"That is the guidance of grace. The path that a Tarnished must travel. Mm, indeed. Grace's guidance holds the answer. It will lead you Tarnished to the path you are meant to follow. Even if it leads you to your grave."

Having stopped his laughter, Miquella frowned, but didn't voice his thoughts. Instead, growing thoughtful. He had an idea about what had happened in the past... well, his past, but didn't have the time to care about the matter of the Lands Between back then. He didn't know of many details, so he grew serious.

Alistair, meanwhile, followed the path the light was pointing with his eyes, before pointing towards the large castle in the distance :"It's pointing there."

Following his gaze, Varre spotted the castle as well :"Grace's guidance will reveal the path forward, most certainly. To Castle Stormveil, over on the cliff. The home of the decrepit demigod, Godrick the Grafted."

Then, with an amused voice, he turned Alistair around by his shoulders and pushed him gently :"It's time you set off, I should think. To Castle Stormveil, on the cliff, where grace would guide you. If you seek the Elden Ring, maidenless as you are. Now, shoo, shoo, you've got Tarnished things to do, so you shouldn't waste your time. Time is more precious than any treasure, after all."

"Alright, geez. No need to push me." He walked away, before turning around and smiling at the sadist he knew Varre was :"Thanks for the heads-up though. Much appreciated. Pleasure to meet you too, Varre. The names Alistair, and I hope we meet again."

"Oh, believe me, the pleasure is all mine, young Alistair." Varre mumbled a chuckle under his mask as Alistair walked away. His shield strapped to his back to not tire his arms.

"Oh, and a friendly advice!" Varre suddenly shouted, getting Alistair's attention :"It's in your best interest to avoid that Tree Sentinel. It's the one riding the horse there. I would rather you didn't die right after we got to know each other."

He was silent for a moment, before grinning and waving his hand dismissively :"No need to worry, pal. I wouldn't touch that thing with a 20 meter pole. At least not in my correct condition. One day though, he'll fall to my hands as well. Later for now."

As he walked away, taking the bushes to avoid the noob killer, Varre couldn't hold back another chuckle :'What an interesting little lambkin. Let's see if you will survive long enough to see that day first.'

Unlike the game, reaching the Church of Elleh took a bit. But he was patient. Sure, he was essentially immortal thanks to having game mechanics, being able to be revived at a Site of Grace upon his death. But he would rather avoid the pain if possible.

He heard the crackling of fire as he walked through the broken walls, not taking the front door, and saw good old merchant Kale sitting with his musical instrument at hand. But he stopped messing with it as Alistair made his presence known :"Ahem. Hello, stranger."

"Ahh, greetings." Kale said, a hint of a smile to his tone behind the mask covering the lower half of his face before he raised an eyebrow :"You are a Tarnished, I can see it. And I can also see... that you're not after my throat. Then why not purchase a little something? I am Kale, Purveyor of fine goods."

"Alistair, Tarnished. Pleasure to meet you." He smiled. He didn't spend much time with him. The merchant only had a few useful items for him. A torch and a crafting kit. 200 and 300 runes respectively.

[Runes: 569 -> 69]

Afterwards, he continued into the forest, where he could see Godrick's soldiers every here and there. Their torches lit to illuminate the way in the dark forest. Needless to mention, he got rid of them all quietly and swiftly. His experience in the OG games of Assassin's Creed wasn't to be wasted, after all.

[Runes: 69 -> 321]

Upon crossing the forest, saw the camp of the soldiers stationed in front of the Stormgate, where he needed to cross. But he didn't go in guns blazing. He couldn't afford to yet. He was too weak at the moment.

Spotting yet another nostalgic Site of Grace, he sneaked his way to the gate, before resonating with the grace and letting its light hide him away from everything and everyone who had malicious intent. He sat for a moment, just waiting, with little conversations with Miquella keeping him busy, before a figure walked out of thin air and into existence.

Even though he was waiting for her, the sudden appearance of the hooded woman out of nowhere did startle him a bit. The figure waited, not making any unnecessary movements to show she wasn't hostile.

"Greetings. Traveler from beyond the fog. I Am Melina." She introduced herself, before sitting on her knees and taking off her hood, revealing a beautiful face with one sealed eye :"I offer you an accord."