Elden Ring: Miquella's Consort

Alistair :"I wanna play a game."

Miquella :"It's 3 in the fucking morning."

Alistair :"And?"

Miquella :"... Sigh, fine..."

Alistair :"Knock knock."

Miquella :"Haaah, who's there?"

Alistair :"It's."

Miquella :"It's who?"

Alistair :"It's time to fucking sleep."

Miquella :"I will fight you."

--------------------------

Needless to say, Alistair got his ass handed to him. Off-screen style at that. Unsurprisingly, fighting something that moved that fast, hit like a fucking truck, and with his vigor-less ass, he managed to get the bloody Grafted Scion's health bar to half before being defeated.

But hey, at least he's not dead. As he laid in a dark cave, half of his face in the water below him, and his body hurting like shit, he heard the muffled sounds of steps and the moving of the water.

In front of him, a horse sniffed his unmoving hand before neighing and shaking his head, seeming to signal something to the woman riding on his back.

"Don't worry, Torrent," She caressed the horse, Torrent's back :"Fortune is on his side. We found him here, after all."

Raising his head weakly, his blurry vision saw the woman stepping down and kneeling before him :"One of his kind is sure to seek the Elden Ring." His hearing grew increasingly blurry, before darkness took him :"...Even if it does violate the Golden Order..."

-

"Ugh..." The sound of water dripping from the ceiling slowly woke him up :"Ouch... hiss... shit..." He got up with a frown. His body ached, but much less than he anticipated. After the beating of the Grafted Scion and falling down from God knows what height, he assumed he'd be in agony. But surprisingly, his body just ached a bit.

'Maybe Melina helped? Who knows.' As he rubbed his body, he felt the ache slowly leaving him.

"You're finally awake." Said Miquella, reminding Alistair of his presence :"Oh, right. You're here too. Good morning."

"Good morning to you as well. As I expected, that creature, although revolting, was still the creation of a demigod. Its might was still too much for you, who isn't experienced in combat."

Hearing his voice, seeming to be deliberately gentler than normal, made Alistair smile :"Are you trying to comfort me right now?"

Miquella smiled in amusement :"Why, is that a bad thing? I just didn't wish for you to be dejected."

"Pfthahahaha!" He threw his head back in laughter, surprising Miquella :"Miquella, oh, Miquella. You clearly have no idea about the mentality of souls game players. Dispiriting me? The only thing that I feel right now is determination to kick his ass later! Don't worry, things like this only fuel my thirst for combat. Makes for a nice revenge story later on. Just wait till I get my hands on him later, I'll fuck him up harder than Godrick has ever done! But thanks for worrying about me though."

Miquella was silent for a moment, before chuckling in amusement :"You really do remind me of Malenia. Instead of giving up, you get even more worked up in succeeding. But that's a good thing, and I'm glad to see that sort of mindset in my ally.

By the way, I didn't ask so before to distract you from battle, but what were those things that appeared in your vision? I'm talking about the lines with colors, and the squares at the corner."

"Aah, those." Making his way to sit next to the golden tree illuminating the cave, he sat down so his body could fully recover before he began to explain his system. He called it a system, but it did serve no purpose considering it was an Elden Ring system. It was literally just the menu from the game, with its purpose being only to store his belongings, show his status, and another unique ability he wished for that would help him a lot later.

"I see. A subspace that can store your belongings will be of great help." Miquella hummed curiously :"That way, equipment that would be of help will always be in reach. But what is the last ability? Why aren't you telling me?"

Alistair grinned and snickered mischievously :"Oh, let's keep it a surprise. Honestly, it's come in handy only in a single place. But believe me, you're gonna love it when it does."

"Is that so?" Miquella grew even more curious, but he supposed Alistair had his reasons to not reveal :"Oh well, alright. You can keep your secrets to yourself. I'll look forward to this pleasant surprise then. Then what now?"

"Now, we go down." With his body fully recovered, he made his way to the unmoving specter of a man sitting on a chair, with magical stones with writings shining beside him :"The Cave of Knowledge lies below."

"Cave of Knowledge?" Asked Miquella as Alistair searched for the best spot to jump from him :"Just a place to learn how to fight and earn some runes. Don't worry, it'll be quick. Fighting actual humans is a lot easier than that fucking monstrosity."

"I see." Miquella nodded as he jumped down to the pathway below :"But I need to ask, why are you so... foul-mouthed? You curse a lot."

Alistair's steps faltered as he smiled awkwardly :"Sorry, it's just a bad habit. This is pretty normal in my world, so I tend to forget it's not so much in this world. I'll keep it down, if you're uncomfortable with it."

"Oh, I don't mind. I just didn't want you to make a bad impression on others. Tarnished are already looked down as it is, so I just didn't want others to find fault with you. Speak however you are comfortable."

"Thanks." He smiled before stopping in front of a Site of Grace :"Now, how do I do this?" He mumbled to himself. Miquella spoke curiously :"So this is the Grace that guides the Tarnished, huh?"

Alistair frowned in confusion, but when he reached out, the pretty golden light seemed to resonate with something within him. Its light calmed down, and concentrated into a floating ray of light.

"Oh. That was easy." He mused, feeling the ray of golden light basking him healing him even further. He sat down beside it, letting it work its magic as he checked what was one of the reasons for his earlier loss. His lack of Flasks.

"Oh, thank God they're here now. Thanks a lot, Melina." He sighed and smiled in relief, before taking out his Flask of Crimson Tears and Flask of Flask of Cerulean Tears. There were only two of them, but he knew that he could use each multiple times depending on how much medicine each one had.

"Oh, that girl from before left those Flasks for you." Miquella spoke up :"They'll definitely be of much help. Was she the one you spoke up before? The one who'd be your Finger Maiden?"

"Yup. And we'll be meeting her officially a while later. But for now, let's reinforce these Flasks instead." Taking out his Golden Seed, he brought it closer to the Flask of Crimson Tears, hoping something would happen.

And it did. The Golden Seed merged into the Flask of Crimson Tears, reinforcing it further and increasing its number of uses. Alistair smiled :"Alright! Now this is better! If I only had that, that Grafted Scion's ass would be grass by now."

He couldn't help groaning, but stopped himself from feeling annoyed. Opting to take out his frustration on the poor enemies he'll be facing in a bit. Cracking his neck, he smiled viciously, got up and readied his weapon :"Alright, time to earn back my pride."

Making his way into the cave silently, he saw his first opponent. A Wandering Noble staring into space and swinging back and force mindlessly with a sword in hand. How they were called "nobles" confused Alistair. They looked like undeads instead.

He locked onto him, causing his health bar to appear about his head. Sneaking his way behind him, he landed two crushing blows of his axe, ending him easily as he groaned weakly. But his actions attracted the attention of three more Wandering Nobles, who limped their way towards him.

But with their speed and distance from each other, Alistair had no problem taking out each easy opponent with a single heavy swing of his axe. Once they fell, golden sparks visible only to him arose from the corpses and moved into him. On the right, lower corner of his vision, he saw the zero rise to 38, making him smile, but also sigh in disappointment at how little that was.

[Runes: 0 -> 38

Old Aristocrat Cowl

Old Aristocrat Gown

Old Aristocrat Shoes

Noble's Slender Sword]

"Oh? I get their equipment first t- oh, fuck my life!" His eyes grew wide and disgusted and turned away from the sight of the Wandering Nobles in front of him all suddenly being stripped into their underwear. He nearly threw up. Thank God they had fallen on their fronts. He did NOT want to see the front. It would haunt his dreams.

But he quickly calmed down his stomach as Miquella frowned :"What did you do? Why did you show me that horrible view?" He seemed to be disgusted too. Understandable. Anybody would be.

"Hell if I knew." As he checked his system, he found the answer. In the settings, the option of "Auto Loot" was turned on :"That explains the awful turn of events. But hey, I guess drop chances are all turned up to 100% at least?"

He briefly explained what had happened, which amazed Miquella :"Ooh, this system of yours truly is amazing. To be able to do something like this in a mere moment! This would help a lot in looting enemies, but please keep it in check. I don't want to see something like that again."

"Neither do I, pal. Thank God we only saw the back at least." He shudders, making Miquella shudder as well :"Y-yes, we're most fortunate at that part."

As their blood pooled beneath them and dripped from his axe, he frowned :"And besides, see?! These are the kinds of enemies you're supposed to face at the start! Not a goddamn boss like the Grafted Scion who doesn't know when to let up!"

"Hahahaha, you're right." Miquella chuckled in amusement, his trust in Alistair's potential coming back :"That "thing" truly was far too much for a first opponent. But as you said before, we can have our revenge later. For now, focus on the task at hand."

"Yes, sir." Alistair smiled before locking in and moving forward. But as he stepped into an open part of the cave, his eyes grew wide at the archer standing atop of a cliff :"Shit!" He quickly took cover, making the archer waste his arrow before he ran to below the cliff, dodging the two more shots by following his instincts.

He grabbed the two Rowa Fruits nearby, causing them to disappear into his storage instantly before he made his way forward again, where he was met with a human enemy equipped with armor, a shield and a spear.

He grew more careful, but put his shield behind him. Opting to two hand his axe instead. As he watched the Soldier of Godrick like a hawk, his instincts took complete hold. He dodged his attack as if he was used to it, as if the masterful dodge was like walking before he swung his axe, making the soldier yell in pain :"Uugghh!!" Before swinging it two more times to make sure he was dead.

[Runes: 38 -> 67

Godrick Soldier Helm

Tree-and-Beast Surcoat

Godrick Soldier Gauntlets

Godrick Soldier Greaves

Lordsworn's Straight Sword

Lordsworn's Shield]

The dead man laid on the ground, beneath Alistair's feet, stripped of everything but his undergarments as his blood flowed out like a clean river from the huge wounds Alistair had caused. But strangely, he didn't feel no remorse. No guilt. It wasn't because of a gift from Crow, nor anything related to his system.

It was all his mindset. A mindset that all lives were equal. Bugs, birds, fishes, mammals, humans, they all had lives. So if he could kill a bug without remorse, he could kill birds. Which he did often with his hobby of shooting. And if he could kill birds, he could kill other animals. And if he could kill animals, weren't humans animals too? He had never felt bad when killing goats and cows at certain occasions, but never had the chance to prove his theory. But now, it was proven.

And besides, a soldier of that accursed Godrick deserved no remorse. Alistair only spared him a snarl :"Rest in piss, you bitch." Before spitting on his corpse and walking away.