Elden Ring: Miquella's Consort

(A/N: 690,049. That's around the amount of Albinaurics that need to be slaughtered to get to max level lol. Also, maturing is realizing that farming the bird at the lake instead of the Albinaurics is far more efficient lol.)

Time traveler kicks a rock, the timeline:

Igon :"BLESS YOU, BAYLE!!"

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Disliking the sad mood, Alistair pulled Miquella in for a deeper cuddle :"Ooh, whatever! Who cares about what happened in the past! It's ruining the happy mood, so let's just drop that subject!"

Miquella chuckled, snuggling against his consort's delicious chesticles :"You have a point. No point in letting what happened so long ago bother us."

"Yup. Hmm, you know, now that I think about it..." His mischievous grin caught his attention :"Just that happened decades ago. You're really old huh, gramps-"

"Alistair, I'm warning you," Alistair's eyes widened as his jaw was grabbed roughly, with Miquella's wide eyes threatening his soul :"Call me old again, and I swear, love, you'll deeply regret it. Understand?"

"Y-yes." He quickly nodded, sweating and smiling nervously :"Yes, l-love, understood. I was just joking, please don't mind it."

"It's not smart to put your life on the line for a joke, sweetheart. And I'm sure you're not foolish like that, right?"

"N-no. Nope. Never. Promise."

"Good. That's my dear consort." With a huff, he buried his face in his chest again. Alistair just hugged him for his own safety. Alistair's safety, not Miquella's.

"You know, I have to admit," The golden femboy smiled lewdly against his chest, tilting his face to kiss one of his pecs :"Hehehehe I'm beginning to really love your chest. It's so wide but soft when you're relaxed. It's like a big, comfortable pillow!"

Alistair chuckled, stroking his head as Miquella buried his face in his cleavage :"Glad to hear that, I guess. That explains why you like to hug my chest so much."

"Hehehehe." The golden femboy giggled mischievously before smiling up at him :"Anyway, we were talking about builds before the depressing talk. Back to the subject then. Hmm... hey, if there were so many builds in the game, what was the strongest?"

"Oh, that's definitely Dragon Cult build. Any build can become overpowered with the right preparation. Heck, with the amount of buffs people would use before boss fights, even the weakest builds would be overpowered.

But the Dragon Cult build can mutilate any boss by just raw dogging it. I could deal tens of thousands of damage after just downing my Flask of Wondrous Physics and going into the fight."

Miquella's eyes widened :"Wait, wait, what did you just say?"

"I just said that it's overpowered without even any preparations."

"No no, I mean what did you just say about the damage! How much damage did you deal?!"

"Oh, that." He grinned :"Tens of thousands. If my luck wasn't shit and my enemy wasn't as small a rat, the least it would hit was nearly 10k."

"Ten thousand-, Alistair, that's a ridiculous amount! You do realize that your current damage is around 200, right?!"

His grin widened :"That's why I say it's overpowered. Nothing beats the satisfaction of seeing anything wider than two meters get absolutely mutilated after a single incantation. Heck, that's at the least. When lucky, it would hit from twenty up to forty thousands.

For other builds, it's only one or two moves that carry the build. But for the Dragon Cult build, everything carries. But my favorites will always be Knight's Lighting Spear, Frozen Lightning Spear and Ancient Dragon's Lightning Strike."

"My goodness... but then why not go for that build instead of strength?"

"Two reasons. One, making a Dragon Cult build takes time. It's not as simple as getting a tool and being done with it. Getting the Dragon Cult Incantations can be challenging. Except for a few, all of them are either locked behind bosses or in very late stages of the game.

Two, getting to where they are would be extremely time consuming. I already knew that the world would be very vast in real life, that's why I went with a dependable strength build. Just going from one Site of Grace to another takes so much time. Can you imagine how much it would take to reach any of them? Only one is in Limgrave, you know?"

"I see. That's unfortunate to know. But oh well, it's not like your growth already isn't amazing."

"Hahahaha don't worry, Miq. When we get our hands on them, I'm immediately changing into the Dragon Cult build. Which I get won't be that far off into the future. Just wait till Liurnia, where we get one of my favorite Dragon Cult Incantations, Frozen Lightning Spear."

"Hahahaha I guess you can't resist the temptation of taking your favorite route of battle, huh?"

"Hahaha I really can't. They're not only strong as heck, but they're also really fun to use."

Miquella chuckled before smiling sadly :"Haaah, unfortunately, I don't have any strength in any field. I'm not able to raise any of my attributes. If so, maybe I would have been of assistance to you, instead of just being dead weight..."

"Miquella, don't say that." He cupped his cheek, drawing circles under his eye :"You're anything but dead weight. If not for you, who knows what state my mental health would be in. Traveling such vast lands after my peaceful life would definitely take its toll on me, you know? But thanks to you, I'm as alive and chipper as I've always been."

"It is true that I support you mentally. But well... I would have loved it if I could assist you in battle as well. To make sure you have an easier time fighting. To make sure your life is in no danger. Hahahaha I had given up on these hopes with Malenia.

Back then, seeing that there was no possibility of that happening, I gave up on ever being able to help her in combat. But now... now that I have actually aged, those hopes have come back. Buy for you, instead. I just don't know if my potential for combat has heightened or if my worth is still just in politics."

"Miquella, come on-" Alistair was about to comfort him, assure him. But before he could start, a certain familiar blue mist appeared a bit further from them :"Allow me to answer that."

Miquella jumped at Melina's sudden appearance, face growing red at the realization of her presence all this time, including when they finally crossed that juicy line :"You! Y-you... you've been watching..."

"All this time?" She finished his sentence, face as straight as ever :"Yes. Yes, I have. I would rather throw myself down a cliff than not enjoy the delicacy that happened here. Thank you for the show, by the way. It was a masterpiece."

"Yeah, I can see that you enjoyed it." Alistair mumbled with a smirk, looking at the nosebleed marks that were still present. Miquella, meanwhile, buried his face back in the pillow with a mortified yell :"Ugh!!" He had completely forgotten about Melina's presence with how heated the moment was.

Melina spoke seriously :"No need to worry, Kindly Miquella. Just treat me as if I'm not around. Treat me like air and enjoy yourselves. I'll enjoy it by myself in the meanwhile."

Her words did anything but comfort him. But he couldn't do anything about it. They were bound to each other by an accord. Wherever they would go, she would be with them. It was the reason why she was around even when they fast traveled. But that fact didn't help his embarrassment at all.

Alistair's hand in his hair did help a little bit however :"Anyway, ignoring how much you love your ship, what was that about answering him?"

"I shall explain." She nodded :"You see, ever since he woke up in your mind, he could grow stronger even before he grew up. Why, you may ask? It's because of the connection between your souls.

To say it simply, Miquella is also connected to your attributes. Specifically, to your Faith, Intelligence and Arcane. Meaning as long as you raise those attributes, Miquella's power will also grow with yours."

Miquella's head shot up, eyes wide in disbelief :"I-is that really true?! Are you certain?!"

"Yes, I am certain. I may only be acting as his Finger Maiden, but I am certainly aware of what is going on inside of him, considering I am the one who granted him the ability to turn runes into strength."

Miquella's face lit up like a Christmas tree as he turned to his consort :"Alistair, do you know what that means?! I can actually fight now as well!"

Alistair was quite excited about the possibilities :"Yeah, that's awesome! That means we can fight in melee and in distance too! You know what that means?! That means I can fight with my weapons while you're constantly spamming incantations or sorceries! Hahahaha that's sick! I can dual wield my curved swords while you're hanging by my shoulders in your phantom form and attacking with our best ranged attacks without worrying about getting hits!"

"Hahahaha that's an amazing idea!" If not for his lower half not working properly, he would be jumping up and down in joy. Yet another long forgotten wish that could become reality.

"Oh, but won't that be a problem? After all, you've invested in your strength build quite a bit already." He frowned, but Alistair deadpanned with a raised eyebrow :"Miquella, you call level 40 investment? We literally put only 12 levels on Strength."

"Oh, o-okay then!" His smile returned :"Then we first need to acquire a good Sacred Seal, then some decent incantations, then put some levels on Faith..." He listed on and on. The Tarnished smiled at his enthusiasm as he stroked his head :"Don't worry your pretty head over it. I've got just what we need in mind. And best of all, it will be good for my build too. After all, I've got the other equipment ready to go already."

"Oh, if you've thought of an item, then it will definitely be amazing." Miquella smiled lovingly, mood over the moon with how many amazing things had happened in a single day. He had finally reached adulthood, then they had taken their relationship to the next step, then he found out he can fight alongside his consort. It couldn't get any better.

"Thank you, my love." He stood as much as he could to peck his lips, making Alistair smile as well :"You are most welcome, my love~. But you shouldn't be thanking me for the good news, right?"

Miquella pouted, face blushing as he glanced at Melina :"Thank you very much for the good news, Melina. If not for you, it would have taken us a long time to find out about that."

She allowed a small smile to grace her mostly emotionless face :"You are most welcome, Miquella. I suppose this is what siblings do for one another, huh?"

Miquella chuckled, smiling gently :"That is true. Although we have never seen each other in the past, I would be more than happy to have another sister who is like a genuine sibling. So if you'd like, instead of acting like strangers or traveling companions, I would love to treat you like I treat Malenia. Like a dear sister."

Melina's face, for the first time ever, was of happiness, even if it was subtle :"Do as you'd like then, brother." Making Miquella smile fondly. But she just had to ruin his mood :"Oh, just don't expect me to not watch though. That's just impossible."

Miquella sighed tiredly while Alistair snickered :"Not a very sisterly thing to do, huh? Be careful of what Malenia will do if she finds out later on."

"Oh, no need to worry about that." But instead of being afraid, she gave him a thumbs up, smirking nonchalantly :"I'll bring her to my sacred side as well. I'm sure it'll be very easy to teach her the ways."

"I would appreciate it if you did not!" Miquella facepalmed, looking actually troubled. But he only made Alistair laugh and Melina smirk.