Elden Ring: Miquella's Consort

(A/N: No Vigor run deaths update:

Tree Sentinel: 28 (Time: 50m/Weapon: Club+0)

Margit, the Fell Omen: 4 (Time: 10m/Weapon: Club+3)

Godrick the Grafted: 1 (Time: 5m/Weapon: Heavy Infusion Club+6)

Red Wolf of Radagon: 1 (Time: 1m/Weapon: Heavy Infusion Club+24) (Took three hits lol)

Alistair :"BE A BETTER PERSON!"

Miquella :"WHY?!"

Alistair :"BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART!"

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The scenery changed like every teleportation and Alistair found himself in a new place. Specifically, inside of a building. With a stylish decoration at that. And seeing the giant table in the middle with weapons stuck to it and the mother of all Sites of Grace floating on top of it, he didn't need to be a genius to figure out he was finally in the Roundtable Hold at last.

"(Oh, this place isn't bad at all.)" Miquella spoke in his mind. Just like always, teleporting would lead to his summon being canceled and him returning to his mind. Alistair nodded, impressed as he checked the place out.

In the game, he was so used to the place that he completely ignored its beauty. But now, he could appreciate his favorite place in person. But of course, they also easily noticed the tattered state of the place. It was only a phantom of what great place it probably once was.

"Well, you are a new face." Someone said. He turned to see a man in a unique armor of gold and silver sitting on a chair. The man, having Alistair's attention, continued :"I don't believe we've met. I'm known as D. I hunt down Those Who Live in Death, and weed their Deathroot."

How could he not know him? His quest was the only one that made Alistair feel guilty for continuing. Especially after he met his poor twin brother, who was grieving because of the death of an innocent brother who died for nothing.

'Not this time. I can change things here, so I sure as hell won't let him die.' Swallowing down the guilt, he cracked a grin :"I'm A, I venture around."

D just stared at him, definitely not amused, but a laughter proved somebody else did :"Hahahaha, A, he says! It was bound to happen one day, D!"

They both turned to see a man in a prophet's attire, trying to hold in his laughter :"Ahem ahem, hehehehe- ahem, I apologize, but your answer was far too unexpected. It caught me off guard. Allow me to introduce myself. I am C, pfthahahaha!"

"Hahahaha!" Alistair laughed with him, not expecting his reaction. Even if they couldn't see it, the way D just stared at them explained how unamused he was. So did the sigh and eye roll :"Oh, how funny." His reaction seemed to be shared with Miquella, who sighed in Alistair's head.

Brother Corhyn smiled :"Come now, Darian, we are just joking around. No need to be so stoic all the time."

D glared from behind the mask, but there was no anger :"I said it's D! Don't just reveal other people's personal information for no reason!"

Corhyn raised his hands in surrender, giving a small smile :"Okay, okay. I understand. Please calm down. We shouldn't show such an immature side to a junior."

Even while hidden by the mask, Alistair could sense the baffled face saying "the audacity." It pulled a chuckle out of him as Corhyn turned to him :"Alright, let's start over, shall we? Welcome to the Roundtable Hold. I'm Corhyn, a man of the cloth.

I teach incantations, the strength granted to us by the Two Fingers, and explore the secrets of the Golden Order. So that one day, if a Tarnished of the Roundtable Hold should become Elden Lord, I might counsel them, ensuring order regains its proper form, righting rule over men."

D :"And as I already introduced myself, I am D, Hunter of the Dead. Heed my warning. Those Who Live in Death should be left well alone. All the more, should you spy a mariner among their number. Unless you wish to lay down your life in vain."

"(Deathroot and Those Who Live in Death...)" He heard Miquella's enraged and yet mumbling in his mind :"(They are the byproducts brought by my brother's unrightful death. And yet another disaster brought upon by that bitch and her careless selfishness.)"

He wanted to comfort him, but couldn't in front of the two new Tarnished ones. He just nodded at D :"Alright, I'll try to keep that in mind." Earning a nod himself, before Corhyn's somewhat excited voice intervened :"Now now, enough gloomy talk. By the way, do you still see it? The guidance of grace."

"Hahaha, yeah, I do. It's really helpful while traveling."

"You do! Wonderful news. Most Tarnished are blind to it these days. You are something of a rare breed. Well, what do you say? Care to learn an incantation of the Two Fingers?"

"Hmm... I'm more of a brute force type of fighter, but I suppose they could be of help later. What do you have in store?"

"*Smiling* I am but a humble one, without much to teach. But if any of the meager incantations I know can be of help, I would be most grateful."

He took out two books, with the thicker one having the teachings of the Two Fingers school of incantations, and the smaller one having two incantations of the Flame school, Catch Flame and Flame Sling.

The Two Fingers incantations were always useless, even when he played as a pure Faith build. He basically ignored them, putting his focus on the Flame incantations. Flame Sling was ignored, and he didn't even need to hesitate before choosing the Catch Flame incantation to buy.

He had already expressed his opinion on Catch Flame and how busted it was. And now, he wasn't going to miss out on the chance to have it himself before bidding farewell to D and Corhyn after paying him 600 runes.

[Runes: 2,739 -> 2,139]

Which earned Miquella's frown :"(Why did you waste 600 runes on an incantation that you know I already know? If you wanted, I could easily teach it to you.)"

"Eh, it's just 600 runes in exchange for one of the best incantations ever. That's a pathetically small amount. Believe me, you'll see it for yourself."

"(Haaah, I still don't see why you have such high opinion on Catch Flame of all things, literally the weakest Flame incantation of them all.)"

"Again, just because it has low requirements doesn't mean it's bad. I'll show you when I can and you're going to eat those words."

"Ah, hello. You must be new here." Yet another person spoke up, catching their attention. As Alistair looked, he saw one of the drippiest armor of them all. A man was standing next to one of Roundtable Hold's statues, with curly hair and covered in silver and red armor.

He wasn't much of a fan of the skirt however, which made him favor the Sanguine Noble set more. But still, he had to be honest, the drip of the armor was astonishing in person. The tale of House Hoslow is told in fashion, after all.

"Oh, hello." Alistair smiled, acting like he didn't want to just steal the man's drip for himself :"Nice to meet you, I'm Alistair."

Diallos nodded, smiling politely :"I'm... well, just call me Diallos. The honor of one's house holds little import in these lands. By the way, have you met a young woman named Lanya on your travels?"

Alistair shook his head :"No, I haven't. Sorry."

"*Sighing* She's my servant, but fickle as the wind. Take your eyes off her for but a moment and she's good as gone. If you find her, please be sure to tell me. She's been my companion since childhood. I've lost count of the number of times I've had to find her like this. Honestly, she's such a little tomboy."

"Alright, sure. I'll inform you if I meet her. Goodbye for now." Honestly, he didn't care about Diallos and his questline. He felt bad for the poor guy who only wanted to prove his worth to his brother, the much more talented child of House Hoslow, but he found him mostly pitiful and pathetic.

After all, his brother wasn't even the asshole type you'd mostly imagine as. He was someone who was completely fine with spoiling his brother despite being the younger one. But Diallos, as a son of House Hoslow, thought of it as a responsibility to stand out.

Not because of his own pride, but the pride of his house and brother. Which made him a desperate man. Who took desperate approaches. But managed to redeem himself later on. Which made Alistair feel bad even more. He had never been in his shoes, but he could understand him.

So he found himself groaning mentally before giving up with a sigh and turning back to the troubled man :"You know what?" Diallos turned to him, curious :"I've got a very good sense of intuition. And if you believe me, I've got a feeling you might be able to find her in Liurnia of the Lakes, at the Academy Gate Town."

Diallos smiled :"Oh, thank you! But that is oddly specific."

Alistair shrugged :"I told you, I've got a very good sense of intuition. Whether or not you believe me and look for her there is up to you. Anyway, I hope you'll find her safe and sound. Goodbye for now. For real this time."

Diallos gave a short wave, his smile more eased :"Alright, goodbye for now. And don't worry, I'll heed your kind words, young Alistair."

Alistair waved as he walked away. It was no longer his business and he wouldn't need to feel guilty about anything. Whether that girl would survive and Diallos won't be crazy enough to become a recusant was up to date now. He would be happier if he didn't suffer and die in the end though.

'Alright, now to meet my favorite person!' He thought so excitedly, but another voice called out to him :"Oh, this is a rare occasion. I can't remember the last time a new Tarnished made their way to the Roundtable."

He barely kept in a groan as he turned to whoever called out to him this time. He smiled politely again, out of habit more than anything, but the man in armor with the posture of the century supported by a cane didn't even give him the chance to speak :"Very well. As your senior, I bid you welcome. It is safe here. You may let down your guard.

However, Allow me a word of advice, as your senior. You are a mere visitor to the Roundtable, nothing more. A house guest, yet to earn their keep. Remember your place, newcomer. There's nothing left to say. Be at your leisure."

He didn't even have the time to process his emotions. One second, he was about to thank the elderly man for his kind words, then he wanted to curse him the next second. But Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing, didn't even give him the chance to do that. He just rambled without giving him a chance and then walked away to where he figured was his study and personal room."

Even Miquella was speechless before he frowned :"(What the heck was that about?)"

Alistair groaned, rolling his eyes as he spoke quietly :"He is the almighty and important sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing. The bitch who just knows about everything as much as everybody else does but bitches about it so much. He has no idea about the actual important shit that matters though. We're supposed to be the ones who give him that info in the game, but he still acts like hot shit."

"(Ugh, so the arrogant fellow who thinks way too highly of himself. Dealing with people like him in political fields was always such a boring hassle. I bet he would be the kind of kid to remind the teacher about the homework everybody forgot about.)"

"Pfthahahaha!" He laughed out loud accidentally, but quickly tried to stop when the others in the room turned to him. Miquella snickered in his mind Alistair laughed in amusement :"Geez, Miq. Didn't know you had that in you."