Elden Ring: Miquella's Consort

Miquella :"I can't believe you would do something that stupid!"

Alistair :"Miquella, I think we all know I could and would do something that stupid."

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Days passed yet again, and they found themselves arriving at the Third Church of Marika. Well, they would have, if not for the giant troll strolling around.

"Goddamn, he really is huge in person." Alistair blinked, concerned if his attacks would do anything but made him itch. His axe looked like a toothpick compared to the troll. But he didn't have time to be worried. Why? Because the spirit of battle inside of him thirsted for viciousness. It wanted the troll dead, and Alistair was never one to resist his urges much.

"Are you going to be okay?" Miquella frowned, concerned. Having spent nearly two weeks together, something akin to friendship had blossomed between them. They weren't just business partners stuck together. It would be long before genuine feelings sprouted, but it was still progress.

Alistair smiled and pinched his cheek, something he had found hard to resist doing from time to time with how squishy his cheeks were. He wondered how squishy the other cheeks would be.

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Who knows how many trolls I've slaughtered back in my place."

Miquella didn't resist his gentle pinches, already used to them :"Yeah, but before, you weren't exactly..."

"Miquella, the devil's in the details. You just watch a good show. And besides, if something goes wrong, I can always retreat. You know Torrent's speed, don't you?"

"Well... alright. It's not that I don't trust you, but, you know..." Miquella blushed, finding it difficult to say he was worried about him. Alistair smiled fondly at the golden femboy that avoided his gaze :"Yes, yes, I do." He wasn't going to tease him. He liked teasing others, but not when it came to feelings. Since he found it hard to express his feelings, of course he'd be patient with him.

"Torrent, you stay back with Miquella, alright?" He turned Torrent who was chewing on some rowa fruits, completely unbothered. He either had complete trust on Alistair's combat prowess, or didn't care since he knew he wouldn't die. Alistair preferred to think it was the first option.

"Bffh." He snorted dismissively, as if telling him to not interrupt him when he was eating. While holding his axe with both hands, Alistair walked towards the ugly giant :"Let's end this nonsense drama. It's just a troll anyway."

He rang the spirit calling bell, causing his ghost wolves to appear. But despite calling another spirit ash, Miquella still remained outside. It was something Alistair had found out accidentally, but it was a pleasant surprise.

His mouth watered at the thought of summoning all of the cheese ashes in the future. Just the thought of summoning the Mimic Tear, Black Knife Tiche, Dung Eater and basically all the cheese ashes all at the same time made him chuckle like a psycho.

"Let's go, boys." He commanded, making the wolves growl in anticipation as the troll spotted them. But much to Alistair's surprise, the troll suddenly shouted :"I'm gonna smash you!"

Well, wasn't that shocking? He didn't expect a troll of all things to be able to talk. No matter. He was still on his kill list. Alistair grinned menacingly :"Your mom got smashed last night, bitch!"

The troll snarled loudly :"How dare you?!"

Alistair's expression only grew more sadistic :"She got some actual "smashing" for once! Yeah, she got my blasphemous blade!"

The troll roared :"THAT'S NOT TRUE! SHE'D NEVER CHEAT ON ME!"

"That's right-" Alistair froze, both body and face :"...What in the fuck...?"

"...Wha..." In the distance, Miquella was shocked as well. Hell, even Torrent stopped eating, freezing in place before his jaw dropped and so did the rowa fruits he was chewing on. Even the wolves were shocked beyond reason.

"I miss who I was ten seconds ago... I'm gonna kill you for just saying that, you sick fuck!" Alistair roared, already thinking of what brand of soap would be able to wash his brain as he and the wolves marched. Fueled with rage for the atrocity the troll just spouted.

"Graaar!!" The troll roared, gripping the blade on his back and bringing it down on the attackers. But nimble as they were, they dodged easily before they all went for his hideous face. Alistair's axe crashed into his forehead, causing blood to flow out as he cracked his skull while the wolves went for the eyes.

The troll yelled in agony, stepping back to get away, but they were relentless. With his eyes ruined, he couldn't even hit them. They dodged his large fingers as they attacked. Alistair's axe repeatedly swung at his forehead, creating more and more cracks in his sturdy skull while the wolves easily dug his eyes out.

The troll tripped, causing him to come crashing on his back. In a last attempt at trying to get them off, the troll's palm swung to slap his own face. Alistair's eyes widened :"Dodge!"

The wolves obeyed, jumping away. Miquella's eyes widened in worry as Alistair didn't run away, but worry was replaced with shock as he jumped into the air. His weapon lit up in white as he used his useful ash of war, Determination, and descended like a meteor at his head.

With a mighty roar, he crashed his axe into the troll's skull. Crushing it and ending his life. The troll's arms fell limp on his sides, and Alistair grinned at the delicious runes he gained :"See? It was just a little troll."

[Runes: 1,197 -> 2,036

Troll Knight's Sword]

"Good job, boys." He stepped down from the troll's head to pet the wolves. They breathed rapidly, tongue out as they nuzzled against his hands :"Good boys."

"Woof!" They barked happily. The sound of Torrent's steps were heard, and he turned to grin at the impressed Miquella :"How you like that? I told you it's nothing."

"Hahaha, it sure seemed like it." Miquella smiled :"I'm sorry I underestimated you."

Alistair smiled back :"It's alright. You were worried about me. Underestimating your allies is still better than overestimating them. Alright, let's get inside of the goddamn church now! Seriously, how could this little trip be so damn long?"

Miquella chuckled as he and Torrent followed after the grumbling teen. He called it a church, but Miquella could only see ruins. The place didn't even have a roof. Not like the Church of Elleh had any, but still. This was one of Marika's churches. How it was left in such condition was baffling. He couldn't say he wasn't happy about it though.

However, seeing the statue of the woman he refused to call his mother took the happiness away. Queen Marika was a cruel woman. Even her family wasn't spared of her cruelty. The Omen twins could vouch for that. So could Miquella himself.

He simply stared at the statue, before an elbow landed on his head as Alistair barely leaned against him :"What got you so deep in thoughts? I assume it's your mother's statue. But why do you look so grim?"

Miquella was silent, before he sighed, barely moving to move Alistair arm away :"Queen Marika... she was a cruel woman. You would think that at least her family, her children, would escape her cruelty. But no, we probably got it worse.

To the outside world, her wrath simply meant death. Whoever received her cruelty would die and that would be the end of it. But us... it wasn't simple like that. She couldn't just kill us. Well, hahahaha, at least not me and Malenia.

Unlike Morgott and Mohg, whose... condition, was plain from the day of their birth, our wasn't revealed until it was too late to do anything about it. The Omen twins were disposed of before anybody knew of their existence.

Even the midwives and maids who were aware of what Queen Marika the Eternal's children were disposed of. Queen Marika despised Omens, and would rather die than raise them. Even if they were her own children.

They knew too much, and Queen Marika wouldn't have her image ruined by making her sons disappear. So they disappeared as well. But unlike the Omens, they weren't just imprisoned in the sewers. They simply died.

Heh, but you may be wondering, what about the news of her pregnancy. After all, the news of Queen Marika the Eternal, the god of the Golden Order, would have reached far and wide pretty quickly, wouldn't it? What about the outside world then?

Simple, she spread the news that she had a miscarriage. That would still be better than housing Omens, who were shunned by her, by the Golden Order, for her.

But us? Me and Malenia? She couldn't just do that. She couldn't just kill us or imprison us somewhere. And besides, it wasn't worth the effort. Morgott and Mohg's sins were what they were, our sin was not being useful.

But it was still a sin. What wasn't useful to her was disposed of. But she couldn't get rid of us, so we simply received her wrath and cruelty. At least before I showed my talent in politics by utilizing my gift of love and Malenia's talent in combat blossomed.

Only then did her behavior somewhat change. Somewhat. But well, at least father and brother were there. They took care of us in our mother's place. I can at least be grateful for that. But as for Queen Marika... our "mother"... she was nothing but a cruel woman whose cruelty didn't know friend or foe. It was a tough time back then."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Seeing he had nothing else to add, Alistair's hand came down to his small shoulder. Pulling him to his side for comfort, which he appreciated.

"That must have been awful. Many suffered at her hands, just look at the Lands Between. But hurting because of your own mother is a pain I don't want to imagine. Parents are supposed to be the ones you can always trust. Always lean on for support and love. They're like pillars for children, no matter how much the children age. But unfortunately, there are people who can't have that treasure."

"And unfortunately, we were of those people." Miquella smiled sadly, before Alistair's hand gently stroked his head, his voice turning cheerful :"But hey, it's all in the past. The queen's cruelty is long on. And you know what? You've got me now!"

"Hm?" Miquella couldn't suppress the small smile as Alistair grinned :"I mean it! Everybody suffers at some point, but you shouldn't let the past haunt you. You need to learn from it and move on. Instead of letting the wounds still hurt, you can use them to make yourself stronger. She's not the last or only person that hurt or will or tries to hurt you, the number will only continue to grow as long as you're alive.

People are like that. They'll hate you for every little reason. They could be the stupidest reasons, but they'll still stick to it like rabid dogs. There's a saying I love. There are people who are holding their breath for you to fail and fall, so make sure they suffocate. The queen is long gone, Miquella. Even if the Elden Ring is restored, she's basically dead. Believe me, I know. She can't hurt you or your sister anymore."

Miquella went silent, letting his words of comfort sink in. They worked, and he found himself smiling softly :"Yeah, I guess there's truth to that. Thanks, Alistair. I really appreciate it."

"You're welcome. And besides!" His grin turned childish as he winked :"The past may have been bleak, but now you've got yourself one amazing husband for surviving it all! Don't worry, I wanna see who will fucking dare mess with my husband! See if I'll make Queen Marika's doings look like a joke or not!"

"Pfthahahaha!" Miquella couldn't hold it, he started laughing loudly at his remarks :"You've really gotten comfortable with addressing our future roles, haven't you? We're not even married yet!"

"Yeah, yet." Alistair pointed out smugly. Miquella rolled his eyes in amusement, before linking his arm with Alistair's as he smiled fondly himself :"Alright, alright. I understand. Then I will leave my safety to you, my dear soon-to-be husband."