D Minus

“They do busking even at this rural beach.”“What’s busking?”“Performing songs on the street.”Hajin pointed at a man sitting on a mat in the middle of the sand. Soft background music flowed from a small speaker he had brought. Stars sparkled in the night sky, the waves broke into white foam, and the two of them listened to the man who had just begun to sing.―May I have no shame looking up at the sky until the day I die.―I was troubled even by the wind blowing through the leaves.The melody was unfamiliar, but the lyrics were familiar. It seemed to be an original song using the poem “Prelude” by poet Yoon Dong-joo. The gentle melody captured the passersby. Hajin, hugging his knees, was also entranced, listening intently.―With a heart singing to the stars, I must love all the dying things.Hajin’s favorite poet was Yoon Dong-joo. His favorite poem was “Night of Counting Stars,” followed by “Prelude.” The soft singing, like the waves on the green sea, resonated through the open beach.―And I must walk the path given to me.Without any further comment, the song ended. Another song began immediately, but Hajin remained lost in the man’s first song, staring blankly into space. Hearing it now, “Prelude” seemed far more beautiful than “Night of Counting Stars.”“What’s up with those lyrics?”“It’s my favorite poem.”“A poem?”“Yoon Dong-joo’s ‘Prelude.'”“What’s that?”Jonghwa, who hadn’t gone to school, wouldn’t know Yoon Dong-joo. Hajin, smiling faintly, picked up a round seashell buried in the sand. The wind scattered the sand stuck in its cracks.“May I have no shame looking up at the sky until the day I die.”Even by the wind blowing through the leaves, I was troubled.Hajin recited the poem softly. His heart unexpectedly felt heavy. Until the day I die, may I have no shame looking up at the sky. Until the day I die…“With a heart singing to the stars, I must love all the dying things.”It was almost like talking to himself. Jonghwa, who had been digging in the sand, picked up a few more seashells and placed them in Hajin’s hand. Hajin’s eyes grew moist.“What thoughts will cross my mind when I’m about to die?”“…”“Will I regret not living better?”“Who knows.”“Or will I feel relieved?”“Probably not.”There were no more seashells to be found. Jonghwa, who had been digging the sand aimlessly, tilted his head back to gaze at the sky. The densely packed stars were simply beautiful. Hajin, on the other hand, bowed his head. He couldn’t bring himself to look at the glittering stars. The more beauty he took in, the more fearful death would seem.“Recite that poem again.”“‘Prelude’?”“Yeah.”Jonghwa pretended not to notice Hajin’s tears. Despite the awkward angle, he kept his head back for a long time. Hajin, fiddling with the seashells in his palm, recited the heartbreakingly beautiful poem once more.“May I have no shame looking up at the sky until the day I die. I was troubled even by the wind blowing through the leaves.”“….”“With a heart singing to the stars….”His clear voice gradually faded. When tears fell on the soft sand, the spot darkened instantly. Hajin desperately tried to ignore the tears streaming down his cheeks.“I must love all the dying things.”“I must love all the dying things.”“…”“Love all the dying things.”“…”“That’s a good poem.”Jonghwa’s face, which had been looking up, returned to its normal position. Hajin, his head bowed, sobbed, his shoulders shaking, while Jonghwa awkwardly patted his shoulder.＊＊＊There were no miracles. No matter how much he pretended everything was fine, it couldn’t actually be fine. Hajin’s condition worsened with each passing day, and there was no way to overcome it.“I bought this for you.”After being out for the first time in a long while, Jonghwa returned three days later with a white plastic bag decorated with a hamburger logo. It was an American-style handmade burger that had recently launched in Korea.“They say it’s insanely delicious, so I waited for two hours. Damn, there were so many people just to get a hamburger.”There was no way the burger brought from Seoul would still be warm. Hajin forced a smile as he unwrapped the now cold and hard burger. He didn’t want Jonghwa to find out he hadn’t eaten properly for the past three days.“Try it. See how good it is.”“Thanks.”Jonghwa’s eyes sparkled as he watched Hajin. After hearing he had waited two hours in line, Hajin couldn’t ignore his effort. Smiling slightly, Hajin took a small bite from the thick burger’s edge.“Is that even a bite?”“It’s good.”“If you just eat the bread, what’s the point? Take a bigger bite.”Jonghwa impatiently shook his leg. Hajin gently kicked his shin, signaling him to stop. Jonghwa seemed to understand and immediately calmed down.“They said the meat is insanely good, so I added as much as possible.”“No wonder…”The burger seemed excessively large, and upon closer inspection, there were three thick patties inside. While moderation makes things taste better, Jonghwa knew no such thing. Hajin let out a dry laugh and opened his mouth again. As soon as the sesame-covered bread touched his upper teeth, the smell of the meat hit his nose.“What’s wrong? Doesn’t it taste good?”Hajin fought back the sudden urge to vomit. He didn’t want to see Jonghwa disappointed. He wanted to enjoy the burger Jonghwa had bought for him. Clenching his jaw until his lips turned white, Hajin forced a smile and shook his head.“No, it’s just too big.”“Should I cut it for you?”“Yes.”Tears threatened to spill again. He wasn’t usually this emotional. While Jonghwa went to get a knife, Hajin quickly wiped his eyes with his sleeve.“Is this okay?”“Yeah, thanks.”Instead of a knife, Jonghwa brought scissors and started cutting the burger into pieces. With so many toppings, it was impossible to eat neatly. Hajin, feeling nauseous, covered his stomach with his hand and forced himself to eat. Holding his breath to avoid tasting the meat, he shoved the pieces into his mouth and chewed. Knowing he’d gag if he tasted it, he focused on Jonghwa’s expectant gaze.“Is it good?”“Yeah. You should eat too.”“I’m not hungry. You eat it all.”Jonghwa, seemingly pleased, cut the burger into even smaller pieces. Despite feeling like he couldn’t eat more, Hajin forced a few more pieces down, moved by Jonghwa’s childlike excitement. But when the sour smell of tomato hit him, he couldn’t hold back anymore.He vomited uncontrollably. The previously ingested bread and meat came back up, mixed with stomach acid, soaking his shirt. The burger Jonghwa had waited two hours for was now a foul-smelling mess, no longer edible.“Are you okay? Are you sick?”Jonghwa was more alarmed. He jumped up, grabbing Hajin’s shoulders and shaking him, making his nausea worse. With stomach acid scraping his throat, Hajin cried, tears streaming down as he vomited.“I’m sorry. Don’t eat anymore, okay?”Jonghwa’s voice sped up in panic. Regaining some composure, Hajin realized he was covered in vomit and rushed to the bathroom, leaving a trail with each step.There was no time to worry about Jonghwa. Hajin leaned over the toilet, vomiting for what felt like forever. Even when there was nothing left, his stomach convulsed, making him scratch his throat in agony. Jonghwa, standing behind him, quickly grabbed Hajin’s hand.“I don’t feel well…”His face was soaked in tears. Not from sadness, but from the physical reaction. His vision blurred with tears. Hajin twisted, trying to free his hand, wanting to choke himself to ease the pain, but Jonghwa held on firmly.“Let go…!”Hajin almost screamed. His insides felt like they were being torn apart. Still holding Hajin’s hand, Jonghwa tried to steady him, but he kept dry heaving, shaking violently. His ears, cheeks, neck, and clothes were all dirty with vomit, yet Jonghwa never let go.With no other options, Hajin started banging the back of his head against the wall, preferring a cracked skull to the pain in his stomach. But Jonghwa wouldn’t allow even that, pulling Hajin into a tight embrace, his own clothes getting dirty.“Damn it, you’re going to hurt yourself!”Hajin’s head was restrained. Now there was no escape from the pain. Losing his mind, Hajin bit down hard on Jonghwa’s shoulder. Jonghwa barely flinched but didn’t pull away. For over thirty minutes, Hajin endured the waves of nausea by biting into Jonghwa’s shoulder each time it hit. By the time the pain finally subsided, Hajin was almost unconscious.“Are you okay now?”Hajin, slumped in Jonghwa’s arms, faintly responded, “Yes.” As soon as he realized the foul smell and the stinging pain in the back of his head, the taste of blood hit his tongue. He blankly stared at the bite marks on Jonghwa’s shoulder, tears streaming down his face. He had bitten so hard that Jonghwa’s broad back was stained with blood.“I’m sorry…”“…”“Shin Jonghwa, I’m sor—”He couldn’t finish. As soon as he looked up, he saw Jonghwa crying even more than he was. Jonghwa’s face was soaked with tears, his expression twisted in pain. Hajin, who was about to say more, closed his mouth.“Hey…”“….”“My heart hurts so much. What do I do…?”With his face contorted, Jonghwa punched his chest, crying out in agony. Tears silently fell from Hajin’s eyes.“Don’t cry. Don’t cry…”It was hard to understand why Jonghwa was crying when the pain was Hajin’s. Hajin, stroking Jonghwa’s blood-stained shoulder, pleaded. Jonghwa’s tears were unbearably painful to see. Hajin almost resented his now calm stomach for making him witness Jonghwa’s pain.“Does it hurt a lot?”“No, no…”“Can’t we just go to the hospital one more time? It might work. My stomach is fine. I can give anything else too, just let’s go together one more time.”There he goes again, saying he’d give his stomach, something so absurd. Covered in the sour-smelling vomit, they sat facing each other in the bathroom, crying for a long time. Jonghwa’s hand, gently caressing Hajin’s sparsely grown hair, trembled pitifully. The tenderness made Hajin’s heart swell with emotion again.“Hey. I’m not well-educated, so I don’t know much, and usually, you’re right about everything. But this time, I think I’m right.”“…”“I do love you, don’t I? Isn’t that true?”Jonghwa looked utterly tormented. His face, deeply contorted, showed indescribable emotions. Hajin, whose neck was patchy with red, tremblingly raised a hand and softly touched Jonghwa’s cheek. His tear-soaked cheek was rough.“Jonghwa.”“…”“Then, let’s love just a little bit.”“…”“Not too much. Just a little bit.”With each word, Hajin’s eyelids quivered. No matter how much he tried to deny it, he couldn’t hide his feelings. Even if their form of love was unconventional, it couldn’t be helped. Whether it sprouted from pity or consolation, they couldn’t deny the fruit they bore was love.“Can’t we love a lot?”Jonghwa’s feelings seemed overwhelming. Hugging Hajin’s head tightly, he asked in a voice thick with emotion. Hajin inhaled Jonghwa’s scent and slowly shook his head.“We can’t love a lot.”“…”“Just enough that, when I die, you can cleanly forget me and find someone else to love. Let’s love just that much.”“…”“Just enough that you can easily forget me…”“…”“Well, maybe it would be nice if you remembered me just a little.”Jonghwa hugged Hajin tightly, who let out a bitter laugh. In his arms, Hajin cried without restraint. Admitting it made him feel at ease. He decided to be just a bit selfish. To love him just as much as he had left.“Let’s sleep together.”“…”“Don’t make excuses that you’re too sick. Just hold me.”As the days dwindled, there were more things he couldn’t do. Jonghwa knew this too. Veins bulged in Jonghwa’s arms as he embraced Hajin.As soon as he finished brushing his teeth, water poured down over his head. The bathroom mirror quickly fogged up. Jonghwa’s hands, soaping up Hajin’s body, trembled.“Does it not smell now?”“It never did.”“Liar.”“It really didn’t. All I could smell was your scent.”Despite saying such cheesy things, Hajin shivered as Jonghwa’s hands moved from his rough scalp, down his face, shoulders, and body. Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, Hajin watched Jonghwa wash him and then reached out to wrap his arms around his neck.“Kiss me.”As if he had been waiting for this, Jonghwa cupped Hajin’s cheek with his soapy hand. Their lips met immediately. Though still awkward, their heated bodies reacted instinctively.“Hmm…”Bending down to kiss Hajin, Jonghwa suddenly lifted him up. With his legs wrapped around Jonghwa’s waist, Hajin smiled blissfully. The warm water cascading over them felt wonderful.“Don’t get sick.”Jonghwa’s deep voice whispered in Hajin’s ear before gently biting his earlobe. Hajin’s neck turned red. The sound of splashing water and Hajin’s moans created an intimate harmony.Jonghwa’s hardened member pressed against Hajin’s buttocks. Hajin, surrendering his neck to Jonghwa, reached back to grasp his sticky, swollen tip.“Ugh…”A low moan escaped Jonghwa, who was nibbling Hajin’s neck.“Put me down.”As soon as his feet touched the ground, Hajin knelt. Jonghwa, startled, tried to pull him up, but Hajin was quicker. He grabbed Jonghwa’s erect penis and thrust it into his mouth. Despite having no experience, instinct took over.“Ah…”Even with just the tip, Hajin’s mouth felt full. Jonghwa’s eyes glazed over as he fondled Hajin’s earlobe. Hajin diligently licked the head with his tongue, sucking and teasing the sensitive slit. Jonghwa’s hips twitched involuntarily, and Hajin gently stroked the shaft.“Ugh…”“Does it hurt? Stop.”Trying to push it in too deep, Hajin gagged and teared up. Jonghwa’s eyes sharpened, and he shouted at Hajin to stop, pulling him up by the shoulders.“It doesn’t hurt.”“Stop.”“I like it.”Hajin’s eyes crinkled softly. Jonghwa, who seemed to lose his senses at that smile, roughly pressed his lips against Hajin’s. The kiss was rough and clumsy, leaving Hajin’s mouth wet with saliva, but sticky fluid flowed freely from the tip of Hajin’s penis, tightly pressed below his navel.“Haa…”Jonghwa kissed various parts of Hajin’s face as if he were about to devour him. He pressed his lips firmly against Hajin’s eyebrows, sucked on his cheekbones, and then rolled his tongue over Hajin’s earlobe. Goosebumps spread from Hajin’s back to his nape, causing his legs to go weak. As Hajin’s legs gave way, Jonghwa supported his waist and thrust his tongue into Hajin’s ear canal, making Hajin’s shoulders jolt.“Ah…!”The pleasure that took over Hajin’s body felt unfamiliar. Clear pre-cum dripped from Hajin’s cock, which was poking Jonghwa’s thigh. Instinctively, Hajin moved his lower body, rubbing his penis against Jonghwa’s skin. Hajin let out moans as he rubbed his cock against Jonghwa’s inner thigh, moving back and forth. It felt like his whole body was going to melt.This time, Jonghwa knelt down. After leaning Hajin against the wall, he knelt in front of him and took the sticky, fluid-covered penis into his mouth. He let the flowing liquid be, liking the sound it made combined with Hajin’s moans.“Hmph…”Hajin’s eyes were half-lidded. Jonghwa, who was sucking Hajin’s cock so hard his cheeks hollowed, grabbed Hajin’s buttocks and spread them apart. As Jonghwa pressed his finger against the tightly closed hole, the cock in his mouth twitched.“Does it hurt?”“Don’t stop…”Hajin’s dazed expression was excessively lewd. Though already soaked, he needed something stickier. Swearing softly, Jonghwa put his finger into his own mouth and sucked it before pressing it back against Hajin’s hole.“Hmph…!”The thick fingertip entered the hole. Rather than pain, Hajin felt a strange sensation and furrowed his brows. His penis, stuck to the wet mucous membrane, itched, making it hard to focus on the finger probing his back. Jonghwa moved his head back and forth, sucking on Hajin’s cock obscenely. The slippery penis sometimes slipped out and slapped Jonghwa’s cheek, and sometimes it hit the back of his throat, making him gag, but he didn’t stop.“Turn around.”Breathing heavily, Jonghwa spoke as he pulled Hajin’s cock out just before he could ejaculate. With hazy eyes, Hajin turned around and placed his hands on the wall as Jonghwa instructed. Soon, he felt a thick penis press against the crack of his ass.