Bleach: The Invincible Slacker from Rukongai

In the secret base, Shihōin Yoruichi's mouth twitched as she stared at Uehara Shiroha with an expression of pure contempt.

"Are you implying that you should be the leader?" she scoffed. "I've never seen someone who wants to gain everything without lifting a finger. Who are you trying to fool?"

Uehara Shiroha puffed out his chest. "It doesn't have to be me, but since none of you are capable, I have to step in."

Yoruichi's patience finally wore thin. Planting her hands on her hips, she shot him a glare.

"Let's be honest—you just want to profit from this situation, don't you?"

"And you all just want to use me as cannon fodder against Aizen, don't you?" Uehara Shiroha sneered. From the very beginning, he had never taken their so-called "cooperation" seriously.

Even someone as straightforward as Kurosaki Ichigo had been manipulated by Urahara Kisuke and Yoruichi. Compared to him, there was no doubt these two would scheme against him even more ruthlessly.

Anyone who had watched Bleach knew one thing: if you ever encountered Urahara Kisuke or Aizen, the best course of action was to attack first and ask questions never.

These two were so cunning that if you tossed a glass bead into their minds, it would take a year to roll out.

Uehara Shiroha, however, wasn't one for overly complicated scheming. He wasn't about to play mind games or get dragged into their plots. So, he simply refused to comply—neither through threats nor persuasion.

And what could they do about it?

Yoruichi sighed, realizing she had no way to deal with him. Frustrated, she tried a different approach. "You can't seriously expect to get something for nothing, right?"

Their so-called cooperation had never been about actual teamwork—it was just a way to keep "Otsutsuki Naruto" in check.

It was a desperate move on their part. After all, Aizen's illusions, as tricky as they were, still had traces to follow.

But this "Otsutsuki Naruto"? He was a complete enigma, both in terms of identity and abilities. He was like a ghost—unpredictable and untouchable.

Dealing with Aizen alone was already nightmarish. Adding this mysterious factor into the equation made it almost impossible to strategize.

Yet Uehara Shiroha remained smug, as if he had already won. "If I haven't done anything, that's exactly why you should give me something. After all, I could just take it by force, you know?"

Yoruichi clenched her fists.

She really wanted to punch him right now.

Suppressing her irritation, she tried to negotiate. "Fine. Since cooperation is off the table, how about an exchange? I'll give you a divine weapon, and in return, you provide us with information. Sound fair?"

She had no choice but to lower her stance. The situation left her no room to be picky.

Never in her life had she imagined she, Shihōin Yoruichi—the head of the noble Shihōin family, former captain of the Second Division—would one day be forced into a compromise like this.

Uehara Shiroha smirked. Sensing that the time was right, he made another offer. "I'll give you a better deal—one that benefits you more. Not only will I not touch your brother, but I'll even make sure he stays safe when nothing's happening."

"Deal!" Yoruichi agreed immediately, not hesitating for even a second.

Yushiro may have been relatively safe in the noble district, but Yoruichi knew better than anyone how dark and corrupt Soul Society's nobility could be.

So, if an extra layer of protection was available—even if it came in the form of an insurance payment—she'd take it.

Uehara Shiroha clapped his hands together, looking pleased. "Congratulations on making the right choice."

To him, this was basically getting a divine weapon for free. It would have been a waste not to take it.

Of course, he was well aware that Yoruichi and Urahara were only trying to keep him in check.

But did he care? Not one bit.

In the end, Yoruichi handed over the divine weapon she had prepared in advance, then turned and left without looking back.

She had to leave.

If she stayed any longer, she might actually lose control and hit him.

Losing a divine weapon for nothing was already infuriating enough—she didn't need to add his smugness to the mix.

That night, Uehara Shiroha soaked in a hot spring, savoring the victory.

He glanced at the divine weapon in his hand before casually tossing it into the shattered space, letting it slowly merge with the [Death Gloves].

It was just a rope-type magic weapon, and clearly one of the lowest-grade ones.

But that was fine. He didn't need an amazing weapon just yet. If it was too powerful, [Death Gloves] wouldn't be able to integrate it properly.

And besides—this was just the beginning.

As the Seventh Seat of the First Division, he had no reason to stir up trouble.

There was no need for pointless battles.

It was better to just relax and be a salted fish.

Still, "Otsutsuki Naruto" couldn't go to waste.

It was time to put some pressure on Urahara Kisuke, Yoruichi, and Aizen.

Once they were all dancing in his palm, he could enjoy reaping the benefits from both sides.

And if nothing else—just using Yushiro as leverage alone was going to benefit him for a lifetime.

The next morning, Uehara Shiroha woke up early and quickly completed his daily tasks.

Today's task, [Show Off Your Singing Voice], was simple. He just had to sing something random.

Effortlessly completing the task, he earned a round of cheers from the First Division dormitory.

Placing his left hand on his chest and tipping his hat with his right, he gave a gentlemanly bow—prompting another wave of screams from the female Shinigami.

At this point, after completing so many daily missions, Uehara Shiroha had mastered an impressive range of skills: piano, chess, calligraphy, painting, storytelling, poetry, and, of course, singing.

In Soul Society, he was already something of a trendsetter.

Many female Shinigami admired him not just for his appearance but for his sheer talent.

This was why Uehara Shiroha was still somewhat respected on the [Woman Shinigami Associationn]'s blacklist—unlike Shunsui Kyoraku, who was considered a complete negative example.

After receiving his rewards—[Kido +1, Shadow Clone Proficiency +1]—Uehara Shiroha headed toward the 8th Division barracks.

There, Ise Nanao had been waiting for days, having prepared a delicious breakfast, all made by her own hands.

Uehara Shiroha took a bite, then nodded approvingly at the nervous girl.

"It suits my taste. You put in a lot of effort."

Ise Nanao let out a breath of relief, her face lighting up. "Teacher Uehara! Whether it's Kido or cooking, I'll continue to work hard!"

"Good, good. That's the spirit!" Uehara Shiroha said as he leisurely enjoyed the meal and Nanao's attentive service.

Meanwhile, in the 8th Division office, Kyoraku Shunsui, who had been watching the scene unfold, took a sip of his medicinal tea.

For some reason, it tasted even more bitter than usual.

Recently, he'd been overworked, busy day and night, and his back was aching terribly.

But what truly unsettled him was the scene in front of him.

Looking at Nanao's eager expression as she served Uehara Shiroha, Kyoraku had a sudden, dreadful realization.

His precious Nanao was about to be snatched away at the speed of light.

Why did it feel like he had just invited a wolf into his home?

And yet… if it was Uehara Shiroha…

Well, perhaps it wasn't entirely impossible.

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