Bleach: The Invincible Slacker from Rukongai

Uehara Shiroha was quite satisfied with his current rate of growth.

Moreover, another special mission would soon be completed. Everything was progressing well—almost too well—and he had every reason to look forward to what lay ahead.

Just then, without turning around, he spoke casually. "Are you that afraid of me? Relax, I don't bite."

From the shadows, Shihōin Yoruichi emerged with a slightly frustrated expression. "How did you notice me?"

The Onmitsukidō and the Stealth Force excelled in assassination and infiltration, and both were practically the private armed forces of the Shihōin family. Yoruichi had honed her skills in stealth, assassination, and Shunpo since childhood.

Yet now, despite years of training, she hadn't even managed to get close to her target without being noticed. That stung a little.

Uehara Shiroha finally turned around, his gaze meeting hers through the singular eyehole of his mask.

Tonight, Yoruichi was dressed in a purple top and black tights, which perfectly accentuated her athletic figure.

Her outfit didn't look like one meant for battle.

Shrugging, he responded in a relaxed tone, "Ever heard of Scent of a Woman?"

Yoruichi narrowed her eyes at the yellow spiral mask covering his face. "And what's with the mask all of a sudden? You even covered your eyes. Can you even see through that?"

Uehara Shiroha's voice remained serious. "It's to avoid seeing things I shouldn't. Last time, I caught a glimpse of something... let's just say it was not a pleasant experience."

Yoruichi clenched and unclenched her fists out of habit, contemplating his words. Then, feigning nonchalance, she asked, "Is that mask of yours some kind of divine artifact?"

"Yes," Uehara Shiroha answered smoothly. "A powerful one. It even has a story behind it."

"A story?" Yoruichi arched a brow skeptically.

"Yes," he continued, completely straight-faced. "This mask originates from a dog who suffered from hereditary mental pink eye since birth. But despite his condition, he was cheerful and kind, always helping old ladies cross the street.

Then one day, he watched his beloved die right before his eyes. That moment broke him. His heart turned to ice as he gazed upon the world with despair.

From that day forward, he wore a clown mask and swore he would never love again.

It is said that if you gather Tobi Mask, Tom's piano, Viego's sword, and Fei Yangyang's horn, you can summon the King of Tengu and have any wish granted." {*Tl: What meme is this?}

Yoruichi blinked. "...The King of Tengu?"

"Indeed," Uehara Shiroha nodded sagely.

"And he'll grant any wish?" she repeated, half-doubtful, half-intrigued.

"That's what they say," he replied, his tone solemn.

Although his words sounded absurd, the way he delivered them—with complete confidence and a steady, measured tone—made it impossible to tell whether he was joking or not.

Yoruichi found herself at a loss. Is he messing with me, or is there actually some truth to what he's saying?

Meanwhile, Uehara Shiroha strolled over to a pirate flag lying nearby, picked it up, and unfurled it toward Yoruichi.

"See this flag?" he asked.

"I see it," she said flatly. "And?"

"Give me money."

"I'm on the run. I have no money."

"Then leave a divine weapon as collateral. Doesn't have to be anything too impressive. Something like [Anken] will do."

Yoruichi let out a laugh of disbelief. "Do you think [Anken] grows on trees? Not to mention, I'm no longer the head of my family. Even if I were, I still wouldn't be able to just hand over a weapon like that."

Uehara Shiroha sighed dramatically, tossing the pirate flag into the air and catching it again. "Fine. I'll take a random divine weapon instead. I'll even take a loss on this deal."

Yoruichi smirked, sensing an opportunity. "You don't actually need a divine weapon, do you? With your abilities, a weapon is hardly necessary. Your Zanpakutō's power is space-based, after all."

Uehara Shiroha immediately recognized that she was probing him for information.

He ignored the bait, instead casually tossing the flag again and letting it land neatly on the ground. Then, with a sly smile, he remarked, "You do realize that with my abilities, I can come and go from the Shihōin mansion as I please, right?

So, if the elder sister won't give in, maybe the younger brother will."

Yoruichi's expression darkened instantly.

"You wouldn't dare—!"

Uehara Shiroha clicked his tongue. "Oh, but I would. Miss Yoruichi, you wouldn't want your dear little Otouto to end up looking just like me, now would you?"

"You bastard!" Yoruichi nearly exploded.

She had been sneaking into the Soul Society repeatedly as of late to settle her family affairs—most importantly, to ensure her younger brother, Yushiro, was protected.

But before she had even figured out this guy's full capabilities, he had already zeroed in on her biggest weakness.

And the worst part? She knew he actually had the power to back up his threats.

This man was even more unpredictable than Aizen.

What had the Soul Society done to deserve both of these monsters?

Taking a deep breath, Yoruichi exhaled slowly before making a calculated offer. "Let's cooperate. As long as you help us take down Aizen, you can have whatever you want."

"Cooperation?" Uehara Shiroha rubbed his chin thoughtfully, then suddenly asked in an exaggeratedly serious tone, "What if I want the thing, but not the cooperation?"

Yoruichi clenched her fists. "You deserve to die!"

Uehara Shiroha chuckled. "Ah, look at you. You're getting anxious~"

Annoyed beyond reason, Yoruichi swung a punch at him—only for it to hit nothing but air.

Her fist passed straight through his afterimage.

She took a step back, finally regaining her composure. "Why won't you cooperate with us? It benefits all of us. You're not afraid of Aizen, are you?"

"This isn't about fear," Uehara Shiroha said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "I simply prefer to side with the winner."

Yoruichi's gaze sharpened. "Aizen is just a rat hiding in the shadows. He won't deceive everyone forever. Sooner or later, we'll return to the Soul Society and expose him."

Uehara Shiroha couldn't help but chuckle. "Oh? And what exactly are you relying on to return?

The Will of Fire? The Will of D? The Dark Will? Or perhaps the legendary Golden Spirit?"

Yoruichi frowned, but he continued mercilessly.

"You still don't understand why you lost.

You and Aizen are playing two entirely different games.

You're playing hide-and-seek.

But Aizen? He's playing Werewolf.

He hasn't eliminated all of you yet simply because the timing isn't right.

Why? Because Soul Society itself is not his end goal.

If he truly cared about it, you'd all be kneeling right now, calling him 'Captain Aizen.'"

Yoruichi refused to be discouraged. "A lie will always be exposed in the end. The truth will come to light."

Uehara Shiroha chuckled. "As a member of the Five Great Noble Families, don't you know?

Our world is built on lies.

Soul Society itself is a lie.

And do you know the biggest one? The so-called 'Soul King' that the Zero Squad and the Five Great Nobles claim to protect… is nothing more than a mutilated corpse."

Yoruichi's pupils shrank in shock.

"You even know that?" she whispered. "Then… does this mean you're siding with Aizen?"

Uehara Shiroha shook his head and smirked. "Not necessarily.

What I mean is—your way of thinking is too shallow.

You need a leader who can see the bigger picture."

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