An Angel’s Road to Hell

Cassandra Pendragon

“Another one? No matter, at least we’ve got the space to spare.” Judging from her words alone my mother was anything but enamoured with our newest stray, but her sparkling smile and her wagging tails, similar to an excited dog, even though I would never have dared voice that particular comparison out loud, put the lie to her words. She was trotting closer, sniffing the air, while the rest of the merry menagerie simply stared.

“Kana, my name is Kana,” the small, winged girl piped up and peeked at the approaching vixen curiously from the safety of the fluffy fortress she had rearranged my tails into.

“Kana,” my mom echoed, her smile widening. “I’ll remember it. I’m Helena.” She had almost reached us by now but came to a halt a few arm lengths away. Her gaze travelled over the large, tainted white wings the girl had wrapped around me, lingered on her purple eyes and shot to her tummy when it growled audibly. Despite the circumstances I felt the hybrid squirm embarrassedly, as if to drown out the sound.

My mom’s fangs shimmered in the moonlight, flowing through the canopy, when her smile widened. She quickly took a scarce few, elegant steps until she stood before us, her tails swinging mesmerisingly from left to right. She barely reached my chest in height, which put her at eye level with my breathing burden. “I’m Cassandra’s mother,” she continued, “and if you refrain from pointing out how much younger I look than her I’m sure we’ll soon become friends.”

Kana’s wings brushed silkily against my cheek, the feeling eerily similar to the touch of another wing I was quite used to, as she squirmed, pushing away one of my tails that threatened to block her view. “I… I think I’d like that,” she mumbled, her insecurity audible in her shaking voice. Considering she had been crying for the last ten minutes, I thought she held up rather admirably. “But it’s been so long… I don’t think I remember what a friend is.” This time around it was me who had to swallow dryly around a rising lump in my throat and my mom didn’t fare much better, at least if the bright sheen in her eyes was any indication.

“Don’t worry about it,” she replied, while she slowly extended her hand, as you would when encountering a shy animal. “I’m sure it’ll come back to you in no time. Until then… why don’t we start by feeding you? Or would you prefer a bath first?”

To my surprise she didn’t immediately get a reply. Instead a set of softly glowing eyes turned towards me, as if asking for permission… or maybe advice. “Don’t look at me,” I whispered in her ear. “I’ve carried you for long enough to not care either way but truth be told a bath might be… let’s say appreciated.” It was a paltry attempt at humour but apparently it was received even more poorly than I had imagined. She immediately tried to wriggle out of my arms and put some distance between us. In response I held her more tightly and pulled her even closer: “don’t,” I breathed, “it really doesn’t matter. But we can’t have you feeling uncomfortable. I’ll show you something. You’ve been asleep on the way up, but if you can hang on for a few more minutes without starving we’ll have you all cleaned up. Trust me?” She tensed again, the question probably about as inconsiderate as my comment before but before I could do as much as scold myself she nodded hesitantly. With a brightening smile I added: “close your eyes.”

When the purple shimmer vanished I winked at my mom and took a few steps back until we passed through the ivy curtain again. A heartbeat later we fell, my tails still wrapped around her. Kana shivered, her fingers digging deep into my arms. I felt her wings push against my back but before she could even comprehend what had happened, my own wings materialised and our fall turned into a soft glide, the winds a caressing whisper against our skin. “You can look now,” I said and her soft exclamation as she took in the sea of sparkling lights, mysterious plants and glowing waters beneath us told me I hadn’t been mistaken. Some surprises were just worth a little anxiety.

I drew out our descend for as long as I could but the closer we got to the sparkling pond the more I felt her elation evaporate. “What’s wrong,” I asked.

She fidgeted for a second but when my toes already sent ripples across the azure surface she confessed in a rush: “I can’t swim.”

Laughing I dipped even lower, until the water reached my waist and my feet stood on solid ground. “Don’t worry. It’s too shallow to drown or even swim. Even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. Do you want me to stick around or would you rather have some privacy? I can leave you with some fresh clothes and pick you up in a few minutes.” She hesitated but her smile returned when she felt the soothing energies swirl around her feet.

“Could you stay with me,” she finally asked, or rather pleaded.

“Of course. Truth be told, I could also do with a bath. It has been a long night, for the both of us.”

She didn’t reply but I felt her desperate embrace loosen until she staggeringly stood on her own two feet. I turned my back and shrugged out of my stained garments, the stench of blood and flames a palpable miasma, still clinging to them like a spider to a wall, I couldn’t wash off. Better to get an entirely new set. Maybe the dwarfs were right and I really was a splurge.

When I was just about to regretfully throw the dark cotton aside I felt a warm, small hand between my wings, pressing against my shoulder blades. “What are you,” my companion whispered. Her fingers trailed across my skin but stopped before she could touch one of the silvery torrents, sprouting from my back. I didn’t move and replied equally quietly:

“That’s a long story, but the most important part I’ve already told you. I’m a friend, if you want one.” Her hand dipped lower until the gap between the bands of energy became too narrow for her to continue.

“You aren’t… you weren’t… does your race also stem from Ephesus?” I chuckled softly.

“Never even heard the name. I was born on Boseiju and I can tell you for a fact that there weren’t any winged hybrids around. Well, except for my fiancée and me, but that hardly counts.” Her warm fingers lingered on my skin for a moment longer before she stepped back. I slowly turned around and gently placed my hands on her shoulders. “I know how difficult it must be for you. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to talk.” A trickle of power reached my eyes and for the first time I tried to see her, truly see her. Flickering, silvery spots travelled lazily across her face as my vision changed. A heartbeat later I swallowed dryly and took a step back, my wings slithering around me warily. Her demeanour changed instantly as she tilted her head, curiosity and something much… darker, something more pronounced, glowing in her gaze.

“You know,” she simply asked, her body rigid. More precisely, she had transformed into an entirely different person, cold, detached… untouched, within the blink of an eye.

“No,” I answered slowly, “but I can see. Did… did they break you?” She shrugged uncaringly and turned her back on me, slowly combing out her matted tresses. With graceful motion she dropped to her knees, her body vanishing in the azure waters with only her wings peeking out.

“The pain surely didn’t help but I was born like this. That’s why I was even caught. It’s much easier to abduct an exile far from home. Does it change anything?”

“I... Did you lure me here? To sate your hunger?”

“You? No. I’m not stupid enough to incur your wrath. Same goes for most of the people I’ve seen in your home. But… killing is in my blood, it is my nature. I take what I want. Always have, always will. I don’t… feel like you do. Otherwise I wouldn’t have made it and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“Why hide then,” I mumbled, my thoughts racing. She shrugged again.

“Experience? With my… disposition you have to know whom not to mess with. I’ve done quite well, except for one mistake. I don’t intend to repeat it.” I groaned audibly.

“So, you’re… the Black Knight in a princess’ skin?” She rose back up in a fluid movement and faced me fully, a slight smirk tugging on the corners of her mouth.

“More like… the Black Knight’s axe. Do you want me to leave?”

“And what would you do? Your soul… it’s nearly depleted. What happens if you can’t…”

“Fill the hole with the essence of others? I’ll die. What they took from me over the last months was all I had. I need to… eat. Soon. Or I’ll wither away. I don’t have to take it all, though. You feel like you could nourish me for centuries without ever suffering. Then again, I’m not sure I’d survive. What are you?”

“Like I’m going to tell you now. I don’t even know if I shouldn’t just incinerate you on the spot.”

“Your call. But if I may, that’d be stupid. Even my own people kept me around until I… overstepped. I can be quite useful, you know.”

“Does it look like I need any help when it comes to killing?”

“No… but you surely look like you could use a hand when it comes to anything less… tasteful. I don’t feel, I don’t care and I’m clever. Which means I’ve learned to value my oaths. It’s the only thing that allows me to live freely… to prosper. Like I said, I’m a weapon. Toss me aside or use me. The choice is yours.” A bead of sweat merged with the droplets of water on my forehead as I studied her silently. I wasn’t afraid of her but cautious. That girl had been born with a tiny vortex in her soul, a dark wound that kept on swallowing anything close by. It had allowed her to survive, where the others had perished, forcefully holding her life together while it had been stripped away, but it also meant she was a certified sociopath, a predator. And not the dragon, I can do what I want, type of predator. She had to hunt, she had to feast, because she was forced to and also because she wanted to. Even vampires weren’t as damaged. For them it was their life they had to replenish, for her it was something much more fundamental. If she had thought she’d have a prayer, she’d already have attacked me the moment we had been alone. And idiot that I was I had carried her in my arms, her teeth at my neck. Luckily she had spared me quite a bit of pain and herself a rather… illumined end.

She snapped me out of my reverie when she gracefully moved her dripping tresses to the side, revealing her slim, tender neck. Again she lowered herself to her knees and bowed her head, her face only a mere hairs width away from the pond. “So, what shall it be. Will I live or die?”

“Don’t you care,” I asked, bewildered.

“Not in the way you would. Sure, I’d love to see another sunrise, to feel the fresh morning breeze on my skin, but if I won’t… then I won’t. I can hardly cling to life, considering what I am, can I?”

“Hypocrisy isn’t unheard of,” I croaked. She intrigued me, I had to admit, but I still didn’t know what to do with her. She sure as hell was dangerous but she didn’t seem unhinged.“Get up, even if I’m going to strike you down I won’t do so while you’re on your knees.”

“Seems like quite the loophole,” she chuckled but obediently did as I had asked. And then, there we stood, both dripping wet and naked, me staring daggers at her and her smiling benignly.

“It can’t ever be easy, can it,” I grumped. She wouldn’t die, not now and not here at least. “What would you do if you were in my shoes?”

“Me? I’d suck myself dry, wash off the blood and come up with a decent excuse why my heart gave out while we were alone. But I don’t think that’s going to help you much, is it?”

“You’re the second creature I’ve met who’s…” I paused. “Tell me, what do you think of spiders?”

“Spiders? What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Nothing much but you remind me of one I met a few weeks ago. In fact,” I conjured the pulsing gem from my stamp, “here she is. I’d like for you to meet her. I’m sure the two of you will get along splendidly.” She eyed the jewel suspiciously.

“I’d rather die than be imprisoned again, if that’s what you’re suggesting.”

“I’m not. But I can hardly let you be. It’s not going to mean much to you, but I care about this place, about the people… most of them. I can’t simply allow you to… prey on them.”

“And what about the ones you don’t care about? I don’t mind a few rules. Where’s the line? Murder? Theft? Rape? I’ve heard enough whispers in the dark to figure out that there’s going to be an abundance, either way.”

“Not for much longer, if I can help it. Kana, just to be clear, I’m never going to allow you to feast on anyone’s soul.” Probably.

“You can kill me right now, then. It’s going to be much less painful for me than being torn apart from the inside out. But, like I said, I don’t have to devour them completely. Souls are… unbelievably potent. Just a… taste can sustain me for months and most don’t even feel it.”

“Why kill, then?”

“Growth? I’m… I’m not completely sure how long they kept me in that cellar but I’m around thirty years old. One day I’d like to grow up.”

“Which brings us back,” I tapped the gem with my finger nail, “to her. Look, I don’t mean to imprison you, basically I just want her to meet you. She can probably answer my questions and some of yours as well. As for the future… that entirely depends on what she’s got to say.”

“Judgement adjourned, then,” she asked coquettishly. Despite myself, I grinned.

“Something like that, except… whatever happens, I’m not going to judge you, how could I? I still won’t hesitated to strike you down, though, if I have to.”

“All the same, but I have to admit, I didn’t expect you to even bother with a conversation. The privilege of the powerful, I assume. Or is it the desperation of the weak?” I collected my thoughts for a moment and twiddled the gem between my fingers. It was warm to the touch.

“Is there a difference? Strength and weakness aren’t absolute as you’re about to find out. The creature we’re going to meet is powerful beyond the darkest dreams of most mortals but yet…” my voice trailed off and I shrugged, “she’s but a speck of dust, floating in an infinite sea.”

“Most mortals… does that mean there are… you’re holding her like a toy. Does that mean you are different?” She was sharp, I had to give her that. But then again, if a mind wasn’t weighed down by emotions it could probably accomplish amazing things. Too bad it wasn’t worth the dirt in the streets. Strength without purpose and all that.

A silvery nimbus manifested around me, my wings grew until they resembled a descending star, burning brightly behind my back, my crown whispered into existence and my tails turned into rivers of molten silver, hissing in the air. I slowly raised my gaze until it fell on her and, for the first time since she had decided to reveal herself, her expression changed. It wasn’t fear, nor was it envy or anger, though. She looked… happy.

“I guess it does,” she mused. “Oh, this little escapade might yet turn out marvellously.” Again she tilted her head, like a cat scrutinising a scrumptious mouse. “Is your offer still valid? I don’t know much about friendship, but I’d be more than willing to learn, if you were willing to teach.”