After the car accident, my boyfriend got straight

Jiang Shiyu was moved from the intensive care unit to a regular ward after a week, but he still had various medical devices attached to him. He was only awake for short periods each day due to his weak constitution, and his recovery was very slow.

As the end of the semester approached, Shen Li spent nearly all his time at the hospital, leaving the caregiver Bai Yun had hired largely unused.

On Friday afternoon, he attended half a class. After the teacher finished highlighting the key points, he started packing his bag. A new friend of his, Chen Yan, who was very familiar with him, noticed his pattern of arriving late and leaving early.

Chen Yan, who was both familiar and curious, said, “Going to the hospital early again to keep your little boyfriend company?”

He had gotten used to Shen Li’s recent late arrivals and early departures and knew all about his situation. He often chatted with him about his hospitalized boyfriend and even answered for him when the teacher called on him.

Shen Li nodded and asked him to keep an eye on things and to answer for him if the teacher called his name during the rest of the class.

Chen Yan gave an OK sign, and Shen Li slipped out through the back door.

On the way to the hospital, he detoured to a bakery in Hexi, buying Jiang Shiyu’s favorite strawberry cream roll. When he opened the hospital room door, the caregiver was peeling an apple for Jiang Shiyu, who was half-sitting and watching a video on a tablet.

He walked over, took the apple from the caregiver’s hands, and the caregiver, with good manners, packed up and left the room. Jiang Shiyu, seeing the bakery’s logo on the paper bag Shen Li was holding, looked up with bright eyes full of anticipation.

Having been bedridden for half a month, his face had become even smaller, making his dark eyes appear even larger. He stared eagerly at the bag, looking like he was craving the treat.

“Craving little cat,” Shen Li teased.

Jiang Shiyu was indifferent. After lying in bed for so long, with endless needles, drips, and check-ups, his sense of taste was nearly gone, and sometimes even tasted bitter. The meals were prepared by the family’s cook according to the doctor’s nutritional guidelines—nutritious but not very appetizing.

Last night, Shen Li had stayed by his side, and Jiang Shiyu complained about the bitterness in his mouth and the unappetizing food. Shen Li was determined to get him whatever he wanted, even if it was just a small cake or the moon from the sky.

Jiang Shiyu happily put down the tablet and reached for the strawberry cream roll, but Shen Li stopped him, pointing to the white pills on the table.

“Take your medicine first, then you can have the cake.”

His face fell immediately, and he sulkily threw the cake roll and the bag onto Shen Li’s lap, curling up under the covers like a turtle.

Shen Li didn’t force him to take the medicine. Instead, he patiently sat in a chair, peeling apples with great skill. Over time, he had become quite adept at peeling apples into perfect long strips.

After hiding under the covers for a while, Jiang Shiyu seemed to feel that his avoidance of taking medicine was too childish and awkwardly peeked out from under the blanket, opening a small gap.

Seeing this, Shen Li pretended not to notice, cutting the apple into small pieces and placing them on a plate with a fork.

Jiang Shiyu, now feeling embarrassed, slowly reached for the pills, closed his eyes, and swallowed them, grimacing at the bitterness.

Shen Li pulled out a milk candy from his pocket, unwrapped it, and put it into Jiang Shiyu’s mouth. The sweet milk flavor helped to mask the bitterness of the medicine. He then took out the strawberry cream roll from the bag and handed it to him.

Jiang Shiyu took the cake and glanced at him. He noticed that since waking up, Shen Li had been unusually attentive and accommodating, sometimes to the point of indulgence. For example, during the medication, he didn’t force him but instead complied with his reluctance. Even Aunt Bai Yun had hinted that he should be careful, but Shen Li seemed not to heed the advice.

At night, when Jiang Shiyu often woke up feeling unwell, Shen Li would immediately notice, no matter the time, and come to check on him. Jiang Shiyu sometimes wondered if he ever slept.

Occasionally, during conversations in the ward, Shen Li would suddenly stare at him with a complex, unreadable expression. Jiang Shiyu would only snap him out of it when he noticed.

He became worried about his unusual behavior and mentioned it to Aunt Bai Yun during a visit.

Aunt Bai Yun, with a helpless smile, said, “I know what happened at school that day. Shen Li got into a fight with a rude boy at the boxing gym, and that boy ended up in the hospital for a week. The matter didn’t escalate because Shen Li kept it quiet. Later, you and him went back to the dorm and argued, which made you ill. Is that right?”

According to the doctor, Jiang Shiyu’s heart condition was on the brink of danger and would have eventually erupted. The injuries Shen Li sustained and his state after Jiang Shiyu was sent to the hospital indicated that there was more to the situation. The day after the surgery, Aunt Bai Yun confronted him, who took full responsibility and explained everything in detail. Aunt Bai Yun was so angry that she hit him with her crocodile leather handbag, adding new bruises to the old ones on his face.

Jiang Shiyu was afraid she would blame Shen Li and hurried to explain it wasn’t his fault.

“It’s too late for that, and you’re still defending him.”

Jiang Shiyu, ashamed of her reproachful tone, lowered his head.

He still quietly explained, “Auntie, Shen Li acted out because that boy said something about me, and I also said some harsh things in my anger.”

“I know, I don’t blame him for what happened. It’s just that his overconfidence and recklessness, like not wearing protective gear, have consequences. He never considered that if something went wrong, it would hurt the ones who love him the most.”

“I understand how you felt at the time. Shen Li has always been mature for his age, with a similar stubbornness to his father. This overconfidence can only hurt those who care about him. When you were in danger, it scared him. He stood at the door of the operating room for nine hours, unmoving, and has been filled with guilt ever since. Love can make people vulnerable and change them.”

After Aunt Bai Yun left, Jiang Shiyu lay in bed, lost in thought until Shen Li came in with the meal Aunt Bai Yun had brought. Shen Li’s face, drawn from the surgery, was marked by two prominent dark circles as he moved, causing Jiang Shiyu to follow his every movement with his eyes.

“You’re dazed, why are you staring at me?” Shen Li set up a small table by the bed.

Jiang Shiyu, influenced by Aunt Bai Yun’s words, noticed that he had become more gentle in both words and actions, treating him like a fragile glass doll and speaking softly.

He didn’t like Shen Li being so careful with him. Love shouldn’t be like this.

He took the fish soup from him. The milky white soup, topped with green onions, looked simple but tasted excellent.

Jiang Shiyu absentmindedly ate the soup, while Shen Li watched as he nearly poked his nose with the spoon. Shen Li’s eyes occasionally fell on him.

“Focus on eating. What are you thinking about?” he asked.

Jiang Shiyu put the bowl on the small table and faced him.

“Auntie talked to me earlier.”

Shen Li’s expression shifted slightly, and he responded with a soft “Hmm.”

“So I think we need to talk too.”

Shen Li instinctively avoided the topic. “You’re still recovering; eat your meal first.”

“I just had cake. I’m not hungry. Shen Li, stop avoiding it. Our argument isn’t going to disappear because of time or the surgery. We need to face it.”

Shen Li lowered his gaze, hiding his pain.

“Shen Li, my condition was going to flare up sooner or later. My body had been giving me signals, but I didn’t pay attention. It wasn’t because of you. Don’t blame yourself.”

The mention of his illness brought Shen Li back to that day, watching Jiang Shiyu collapse like a fallen butterfly in front of him. The constant beeping lights, the cold corridors, and the endless wait made his teeth clench in spasms, the fear and panic returning with full force.

Jiang Shiyu noticed his distress and called out to him, but received no response.

“Shen Li, Shen Li, what’s wrong?”

Shen Li’s eyes were red and seemed trapped in a nightmare. His shoulders were tense, and his fists trembled.

Jiang Shiyu climbed out of bed, facing him, gripping his shoulders and looking directly into his eyes.

“Shen Li, look at me. Look at me.”

As Jiang Shiyu’s urgent calls reached him, Shen Li’s expression slowly cleared, his stiff body relaxed, and he came back to his senses, looking around as if waking from a dream.

“Jiang Shiyu,” his hoarse voice emerged.

Jiang Shiyu, with tears in his eyes, leaned on his shoulder.

“You scared me.”

Shen Li was now in a state similar to when he had lost his memory after the car accident. Mentioning painful topics caused him to collapse mentally, trapped in a cycle of suffering.

He instinctively patted Jiang Shiyu’s back to comfort him and closed his eyes, taking in his medicinal fragrance, slowly regaining clarity.

“Jiang Shiyu, actually, you were right that day. I was too arrogant.”

His voice was dark and low, making Jiang Shiyu want to lift his head but he was held down.

“I thought that just being with you and taking care of you was enough. But all my ideas were based on my own perceptions. I never asked you what you wanted or needed. From the beginning, I was the one in control, and you were the one accommodating me. 

The favored ones are always bold. You said I was never afraid, and indeed, I never felt fear before meeting you. I always handled everything with ease, ignoring your feelings. 

My arrogance and pride became tools to hurt you. It wasn’t until that day you fell in front of me that I realized how insignificant that so-called pride was. Jiang Shiyu, I have never felt more terrified than when you fell before me, and I’ve never hated my arrogance so much. While I loved you, I forgot that you loved me too. I’m sorry, Jiang Shiyu.”