A Jaded Life

After my suggestion, Sigmir and Adra were mollified, even if Adra was slightly taken back at my mercenary attitude whereas Sigmir was obviously fine with it. We continued on, idly looking at the village and gathering a small following of children and youths. Adra was quite happy that our meeting with their chief had dispelled the animosity she had been under, causing them to flock to her. They still kept their distance from me, but I was quite alright with that.

As we walked there was something on my mind, a thought that had not left me for days. My original plan to deal with Sigmir’s tribe was flawed, fatally so. I had planned to use long-range, wide-area ice-magic, basically the ritual I had devised for the Devourer, to strike at them without giving them a chance to fight back. But after actually using it, I realised that it was just a wishful thought, shattered by the cruel reality. My ritual was far too slow, even a blind man would realise that something was wrong with the buildup of Astral Power above them and the slow increase in the falling icicles, giving them ample time to either take cover or sally out to interrupt us. Or do something else entirely, I was under no illusion that I had more than rudimentary knowledge about the options available to an old shaman and his chieftain, in the centre of their own domain.

Maybe Sigmir had a good idea how to deal with them - at least, one better than ‘Tell them we are here with a huge magic ritual and hope to hold them back long enough.’

Laughter pulled me from my ruminations and I watched Adra happily playing tag with a few children, chasing them around until their game devolved into a snowball fight. It was rather funny to see such a playful side of Adra, it was something new. But even more interesting was Sigmir’s reaction to it, she wasn’t amused as I was, she looked sad and maybe a little angry. Uncomfortable with her discomfort, I moved a little closer to her, taking her hand and gently squeezing it in support. I wasn’t sure why it hurt her to see the children play, but I wanted to help her.

“Are you alright?” I asked her softly.

“Yes, sure.” she answered, softly and sounding like she was lost in thought.

One of their snowballs flew our way and I, not wanting to jolt Sigmir, used my Ice-Magic to divert it. The look on Adra’s face clearly accused me of cheating and promised more attacks in the near future.

“Why don’t you ask Ylva if she wants to play and the two of us take a little walk in the forest?” I suggested, hoping to distract her from her thoughts.

A moment later, she raised her hand and Ylva materialised in front of us, quickly bounding towards the children and running Adra over, causing great laughter. Without a word, Sigmir pulled me onward, towards the edge of the village. Multiple snowballs were sent after us, but I was having none of that, again, using my magic to throw them back, causing even more laughter behind us, as I had apparently struck true.

After walking for a few minutes on the cleared area between village and forest, I pulled Sigmir to a stop and gave her a soft, loving kiss.

“You know, you can tell me what’s eating at you. I promised you that I would be there for you.” I said in a gentle voice.

At first, it seemed like she didn’t want to talk as she used a cruel, one might even say inhumane, tactic to distract me, kissing me back but increasing the strength and depth of our kiss until the world retreated shrinking to only encompass our bodies and the points of contact between them. There was no way I could focus on my topic of inquiry when she did that. I heard a soft moan, it could have been either Sigmir’s or my own, but I felt that if I didn’t managed to get a handle on myself, we would soon be lying in the snow, going at if for all the world to see. Not that I had a problem with the world seeing us, but I had little desire to do so right next to the village.

With great difficulty, I pulled back and looked into her eyes, seeing them gleam with unshed tears. That was so unlike Sigmir, it shocked me. I had only seen her cry once before, shortly after we met, when stress and exhaustion had pushed her beyond her considerable limits.

I pulled her over to the forest, close to one of the trees and pushed her down, seating her against it. With her seated, I straddled her lap while, at the same time and almost absentmindedly, constructing barrier of mist, whirling snow and shadows around us, creating a swirling cocoon of safety, keeping the world, with all its prying eyes, safely locked out.

“Now, dear, what weights on you? And don’t tell me it’s nothing, I can see your pain. Let me share it and maybe I can ease it.” I implored her, gently stroking her cheek while looking deep into those teary, pained eyes.

“I… We… I…” she tried to start talking but emotions choked her, strangling her voice as tears spilled over. I simply embraced her head, pulling it close and holding her, trying to project a feeling of safety. Heart wrenching sobs tore out of her throat, while hot tears spilled onto my chest. I felt my own eyes water, tears running down my cheeks. I hated the feeling of impotence, that I had no idea how to help her. My Sigmir was hurting and I could not do anything to change that. So I did the only thing I could do, hold her close and not let go.

After a while, the sobs died down and silence reigned. I wasn’t sure if Sigmir had simply fallen asleep but I was not willing to let the world get to her if that was the case. I would hold her, keeping her safe as long as needed.

But I did not have to wait long, soon her voice came from my chest, quiet and soft, lacking her normal strength.

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to be a burden. It’s just that over the last two days, it became real. We are now so close to my tribe, I can almost taste home in the wind. And every time I think I can taste it, I remember, there is no more home for me.” she said with a shudder.

I squeezed her a little, trying to convey the idea that I would be with her for as long as I could. It tore my heart that I could not promise her to be with her, knowing that our time together was limited.

“Whenever I taste that smell of home, I just want to walk back into my tribe’s village, head held high, showing them that my father's blood is strong and will not falter. But the reality is, my father was slain and his remains desecrated. The only strength that I have, is my bodily strength...” her voice trailed off.

“No, you are wrong. As long as I draw breath in this world, I will stand with you. I told you once, I would be your family. Your foes would be my foes, your pain, my pain. Even if the world ends, I will come for you in the next world.” I spoke, conviction burning in my voice. I had no idea how to do so, but I knew that I would do anything I could, anything I had to, to keep my promise.

“Thank you…” she whispered. “Do you think we will have to wipe my tribe out? Many of them were my friends, were my father’s friends. But they hunted me, like an escaped animal, to be drug back for breeding. How could they?!” anger was seeping into her voice, bringing with it the strength I had so sorely missed from it.

“It depends what they were told. If Jongarn told them a good lie, they might have chased after you, thinking that you had been forced away, hoping to rescue you from the vile monster that stole you. And I honestly don’t know how to deal with your tribe. I can understand that you don’t want a massacre.” I fibbed a little, I had no experience or understanding in that regard, I just knew that Sigmir needed to hear it, at this point.

Before coming to this world, I had never felt emotional attachment to anyone, not even my family. I understood who my family was, I understood that I loved my mother. Or at least I was convinced that it was the right thing to do and that I logically did so. But what I felt here in this world was different. It was less… contrived. I knew that I would move heaven and earth for Sigmir. There was no need to think about it, no need to understand it. I knew it. But that was only for one person, not for a village.

“Maybe we can think of a way to get the quest taken care off, without too much bloodshed.” I said, more in the way of voicing a hope than any true conviction. I doubted that Jongarn, his father or their shaman would let Sigmir go without a fight.