A Gamer's Guide To Beating The Tutorial

And just like that, I’m back in the lobby. Paint, paint, paint...

Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. Since your magic is dumb and useless, I have no need for it, and will therefore be—

pleads for the assistance of

Hell Challenger Lo Fennrick.>

I… what? Wait, who are you? Goddess of children?

Now listen here, lady, I’m not one to go and tell other people their business, but… You do know who you’re talking to, right? Miss goddess of tasty treats?

repeats Her appeal and begs

Hell Challenger Lo Fennrick

to assist one of Her own and

save them from themselves.>

Save…? Lady, are you sure you didn’t get the wrong number? I don’t know if you’ve been watching the PKP Broadcasting Network recently, but I haven’t exactly been ‘saving’ people, if you know what I’m saying. It’s closer to the opposite, all things considered.

And, also… now that I think back on it… Weren’t you one of the people voting against me remaining in the tutorial? Sure, I still don’t know if this was for the better or worse. But considering that you were one of the gods and goddesses trying to get me removed, I think I’ve got my answer, at least mostly.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is, ‘why the heck do you think I’d go along with your wants?’ Answer that one and I might consider it. Oh, and unlike you, I’m in no hurry. No, I’m actually having a pretty grand time painting these pillars, enjoying the sound of a divine dingus actually treating me respectfully for once.

bows Her head.>

<[Please help Me.]>

I perk a brow at the messages.

…You do know I can’t see you, ri—

But I can. Sitting on the floor, head bowed, is an outline. A spot not covered in blood, that shifts and moves. A WHITE silhouette placed on the floor like a shadow, at an angle that makes it look as though it’s actually a person.

Her ears are long and goblin-like, her body small but still motherly in shape.

I freeze looking at it.

<[I do not wish to send other challengers.

They would not survive.]>

…What makes you think I can?

The silhouette doesn’t move. There’s a long moment of silence.

<[One of My children has fallen.

I cannot save him anymore.

No one can.]>

The silhouette’s face rises. Eyes like sunbeams.

<[None but you.]>

You’re a fool to think I can save anybody. If you send me to wherever this guy is, I’ll kill him. You know that, right? You have to. You’ve been watching me, like a filthy voyeur.

The air around us feels stiff. Like the lobby is holding its breath.

I’m just about to say something else when it breaks the silence.

<[Yes. I know.]>

You know, so…

Why?

It bows its head again, eyes of shining light hidden once more.

<[Only in death may he be

saved from the influence of

the God of Kings.]>

…The god of kings? Is that what this is about? Can’t you handle him yourself? I really don’t see how a measly human could possibly help in this situation.

For a few moments, it keeps its head bowed, almost contemplating. Then, it raises one hand, the blood on the floor shifting to account for its new position. The clenched hand shines oddly.

<[If you help Me,

I will grant you a portion of

My power.]>

…For real? Seriously?

Well, why didn’t you say so? A portion of your power will be a wonderful addition to my collection! Why, with this literal bribe, there’s no reason for me to refuse anymore!

—Not!

What, you can’t seriously think a vague promise of ‘power’ is enough to convince me to run into danger for your sake, right? I mean, really. And what is your power anyway? You’re the goddess of children, for crying out loud! Are you going to give me the power of supersonic screaming? Hiding under tables? Ankle-biting? Fun fact: I’ve already got all of those!

I stare down at the silhouette. It doesn’t budge.

My eyes slide down to the clenched hand, to the light held within its grip.

I lick my lips.

Well, I mean… I glance away towards some other pillars I haven’t painted yet. You aren’t going to, like… Change your mind or anything, right? Like, you tell me I can only get it after I beat the floor, and then when I do you’re surprised because you thought I’d die, so you retcon the whole thing by adding a clause like, ‘Oh, sorry, you could actually only redeem this portion of My power if you did a mid-air twirl and sang the Danish national anthem backwards. Guess it’s no power for you!’

There’s a chuckle. I look around frantically, because I certainly didn’t chuckle, but there’s no one. Who the heck…?

I look back down at the silhouette. Did it just chuckle at me…?

But before I can determine whether or not that little chuckle I heard was actually from the goddess of children or not, she answers me.

<[No, I would not break such a promise.

Should you agree to save My child,

I will grant you a portion of My power.

This I swear by the Goddess of Honor.]>

…No take-backsies?

<[None whatsoever.]>

Well, erm, I mean…

I’ll enter the next floor eventually, and it’s not like I wouldn’t be putting my life on the line anyways… And if the god of kings is involved I might get to eat some more grape jelly… And to get a portion of divine power, even if it’s a little useless, might not be too bad, so…

I look to the left.

I look to the right.

Nobody’s watching.

I look back down at the hand stretched towards me. Hesitantly, I reach for it.

Fine, I accept. But not because I actually want to help; this is purely for monetary reasons, alright?

…Is it just me, or is the silhouette smiling?

The hand stretched towards me unfurls, its shining palm soon pressed against mine as our hands shake together.

<[Innocent Adoration(Lv.MAX)]

The Goddess of Children, who watches over

the young and the innocent, has granted some

of Her powers to Her potential helper.>

the user will always be

known, trusted and beloved

by all nearby children and innocents.>

<[SOVEREIGN SKILL]>

…Wait, what? H—hang on, I’ve changed my mind, I don’t want the skill anymore!

Take it ba—