1000 shades of god

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Louis barely cracked open his eyes, his vision greeted by a semi-golden, semi-lustrous substance shimmering like something out of a fever dream ✨. Curiosity gnawed at him—irresistible, insatiable. So naturally, he took a sip.

"AAUGH! WHAT THE—?!" he spat. "Frog shit?! What the hell is this?! Wait… am I drowning in my own sperm?! 🤢"

A horrifying thought struck him, shaking him to his core:

"Did I jerk off so hard that my nuts cracked loose, and a tsunami of sperm drowned me?! What kind of tragic villain origin is this?!"

But before he could spiral into existential despair, a sharp pain drilled into his skull like a thousand angry jackhammers 🛠️. The source wasn't physical—it was the flood of excruciating memories rushing into his mind, like someone had hit 'play' on a cursed VHS tape 📼.

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The Life of Adam Shebuzne

Adam Shebuzne, the body's previous owner, lived in a world called the World of Lords 🌌. Grandiose as the name sounded, it was less "noble adventure" and more "chaotic lottery." Your life wasn't determined by hard work or talent—it was all about LUCK 🍀.

"Oh, and more luck. And some tiny bits of luck. And a pinch of—yeah, you guessed it—luck!" Louis scoffed bitterly.

But luck wasn't everything. There were geniuses who proved the world wrong:

One man got a Trash-Class Cockroach 🪳, yet used its scavenging instincts and insectoid cunning to rise to the top, now leading a prestigious family.

Another summoned a Special General-Class Virus 🦠, turning his bottomless knowledge and research into unparalleled power. He now dominates across the Myriad Realms 🌍📜.

Both climbed the ladder with sweat, blood, and grit 💪🩸.

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But if you're a dumbass like Ye Fian, well… prepare to be the universe's favorite joke 🤡. Ye Fian was a native who hit the jackpot by summoning a Legendary-Class: Flame Mist Dragon 🐉🔥. Sounds epic, right? Wrong.

This genius thought his dragon made him untouchable, so he attacked three measly Ordinary-Class summoners. Three. You'd think with all that firepower, he'd mop the floor with them. Nope! Turns out, the ordinary guys weren't so ordinary—they set a trap 🪤, played it smart 🧠, and now Ye Fian's legendary dragon is:

Grilling pork for local BBQ stands 🐷🍖

Sledging goods like a glorified ox cart 🐂

And Ye Fian? He died a slow, humiliating death because his troops weren't even strong enough to kill him quickly 🫠. Moral of the story? Strategize or die like an idiot 🤡⚰️.

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So why was Adam drowning underwater?

The memories finally clicked like a slap to the face 🤯. Adam, the original owner of this body, had a stellar (read: miserable) life.

His mom passed away when he was a kid 🕊️, and his dad—a swindler with zero moral fiber—ran off to shack up with some new lady, leaving poor Adam to fend for himself 🍂. Luckily, he had an uncle—a kind and humble man who took him in like his own child.

But wait!

Here comes the classic evil step-sibling subplot 🎭. His uncle's three brats hated Adam's guts 🐍. Why? Because they couldn't stand the idea of this so-called "good-for-nothing" having the same chance at fortune as them. So, on Nanorb 10th, 2011 (don't even ask about the calendar system here—it's weirder than a drunken monkey's dreams 🐒), they decided to kill him.

Did I mention? 2011 here doesn't mean planes and smartphones ✈️📱. Technological advancements in this world are like skipping steps on a ladder—you might find plasma rifles, but also dudes riding dragons like it's the Stone Age 🛡️⚔️.

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Adam, being the unlucky punching bag he was, died. Enter stage left: Louis, our new protagonist, who woke up in Adam's waterlogged corpse. Now, we'll stick to calling him Louis, because honestly, calling him Adam would just hurt our brains 🤯.

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After waking up...

Louis stumbled out of the water, dripping wet and muttering to himself:

"Poor boy's real poverty wasn't his lack of money; it was his utter lack of DESIRE!" 😤

But he didn't have time to wallow in pity. There were consequences waiting for him out there—angry relatives, conspiracies, and a world filled with madness. Fortunately, there was still a glimmer of hope: The Boundless Universe.

"Two hours left before the gates open," he muttered. "If I play my cards right, I won't run into those three idiotic brothers. Probability is on my side… right?" 🧮

But then another memory hit him like a truck 🚚💥.

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The Uncle and the Father

Why weren't Adam's father and uncle around to save him? The answer was... complicated. Turns out, both of them were summoned beings—creatures once called forth by a Country Lord from the Boundless Universe 🌌👑. They weren't originally from this world, and since their summoner had died, they were now free to roam with their own consciousness, free will, and bodies.

"So, what's stopping them from stepping up now?" Louis grumbled.

The answer was simple: They don't want to be NPCs again.

If anyone dared treat them as tools, Louis swore:

"I, in the name of Buddha and the Monkey King, will banish them to space faster than you can say 'rocket launch' 🚀🐒🛡️!"

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Louis cracked his knuckles and looked toward the horizon. He didn't ask for this life, this chaos, or this insane world. But hey, when the dice are rolled, you either gamble... or flip the damn table 🎲🖕.

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