Zeroth Moment: My Cheat Skill Is Stupid, So I'll Just Ignore It

No. No. No, no, no.

Topher forced himself to get a grip; his hands clenched with so much violence that his nails dug into his palms. "Got to move. Exposed out here."

Zanasha nodded at his side. "If you think it wise, Friend Topher." She fell into step next to him, frowning back at something he couldn't see. "Hana-chan?"

There was a pause, then Topher heard Hana mumble something on his other side. "F-fine." Shakily, the three of them began to make their way down the hill towards the city. Topher couldn't catch his breath; he kept gulping air like a landed fish.

"Will we be able to enter the city after sunset?" asked Zanasha after a short while. "I know nothing of this area. Are monsters numerous beyond the walls?"

"Strathmore doesn't have any walls, Zee," Hana murmured, unseen a step behind Topher and to his left. "There are monsters, but they're essentially harmless. Rabbits that can give you a shallow bite or scratch, or wolves that can nip you a little. The sort of prey beginner adventurers cut their teeth on before they graduate to Jelly Slimes."

"Nevertheless," the half-orc murmured, "it will be awkward if the entrances are guarded. What can we expect?"

"Don't know." Topher's hands were shaking, and his mouth felt so painfully dry. "Don't remember."

Zanasha frowned. "Hana-chan?"

"Zee, the last time I was here was ten years ago," Hana protested. "I didn't go out at night, and even if I had, who knows if things would still be the same this many years later. Bailey-sama is the only one who could have any useful information."

Topher felt them both looking at him; he wanted to flinch away, cover his head with his hands. "Don't know. Don't remember." Without noticing, he quickened his pace.

Inside his mind, he felt a pressure, an almost inexorable force pushing him away from the city. Can't go back. Why can't I go back? Gotta go back. What's...?

"Friend Topher?" the voice came from behind him; he could hear worry and concern, but didn't understand. He was almost running now, but that made no sense. He couldn't go back. Why would he run towards a place he couldn't go?

"He must know something we don't," he heard Hana pant from behind him. "Maybe there's danger."

Oh, there's danger all right. It's me. I'm the danger. Topher's feet thudded into the dirt over and over; he was running towards a copse of trees, to the side of the path towards the city's main entrance. Trees? That's not safe. Monsters like the shadows. What am I doing? Why can't I remember?

Gasping, he almost ran directly into a tree; the light was dwindling fast, and without considering what he was doing, he Conjured a light. Its harsh, flickering gray illumination scattered crazily through the trees, lashing black-and-white bars of illumination around them as he hurried onwards.

"Are we to make camp?"

"How should I know? Ask him!"

Topher tripped, sprawled heavily over something hard and painful; he tried to push himself back up, get up and keep running, but the dirt clung to his hand like tar or glue. Growling with frustration, he dug at the earth, but it wouldn't release him; he clawed and scraped, trying to free himself.

And then his frenzied grasp met another hand.

"Someone in trouble?" he mumbled. He dug harder, faster. "I'll help. I'll save you."

"Friend Topher...?"

"Back up, Zee. Back up."

"Friend Topher..."

He was digging harder, faster, pulling with all his might. "Gotta help. Gotta find help. Someone's..."

"Topher. You will injure --"

Then, horribly, the hand he was holding, trying to free, broke away with a snap, and he tumbled backwards onto his ass. Horrified and confused, he raised it up into the light, trying to understand.

He was holding a severed, rotting hand.

Haruko's hand.

"Jesus," he moaned. "Jesus, no."

With a feeling like a gentle shift, the first motion of an avalanche, the first of many raw and bleeding bandages within Topher's mind came free. That's right. She died. His hands felt familiar. Slick, slimy, gritty. I buried her with my hands?

Dimly, he was conscious that another shape, strange and yet familiar, was squatting down in front of him, backlit by his Light. Its face was in shadow. "Is it over?" he mumbled. Almond-shaped yellow eyes, patient and calm, gazed back at him from the silhouetted face. A hand, calloused and warm, touched his own, but nothing was said.

Then, slowly, he came back to himself; he was holding a tree root, broken off. "Christ, I'm fucked up," he said involuntarily, then grimaced. "Sorry. I don't know..."

"Friend Topher." Zanasha's hand remained on his. "Please tell us what is happening." Topher's vision, still blurry with what he slowly realized were tears, cleared slightly, and he realized Hana was crouched behind Zanasha and watching him with an expression of alarm.

Topher trembled, dropping the root; he closed his eyes and sighed. "It's from back then. Something happened..." he took a deep, shuddering breath. "I don't know what to do."

"Zee." Suddenly, Hana was standing behind him, putting a blanket over his shoulder. "Let's make camp here for the night. Bailey-sama needs rest."

Topher nodded dumbly. "Yeah. Camp. Rest."

Dazed, he watched as Zanasha gathered firewood and made a small campfire; the two women unpacked rations, but Topher couldn't find it in him to eat. He felt numb and disconnected. This is bad. I'm shutting down.

The body immobilizes itself after an injury, to prevent further damage, observed the distant part of his mind. Like a strained muscle spasming to hold itself in place. Not that we're familiar with that at all.

Hana, moving a little stiffly, rolled out Topher's bedroll, but he couldn't make himself lie down. He stared into the fire, his body cold and his joints aching, as Hana and Zanasha set up their own bedrolls.

Then, just as they were getting ready to go to sleep, Topher's mouth opened of its own accord and words began to come out.

"I lost my memory."

"Friend Topher?" Zanasha started slightly, putting away her notebook in a hurry. "Are you well?"

He shook his head. "I lost my memory. When I left Strathmore... some kind of danger, of violence." He shifted. "I don't know what happened."

Calmly, Zanasha seated herself cross-legged on her bedroll, across the fire from him; in the darkness behind her, he could see Hana turning to face him as well. "Can you begin at the beginning?"

"What for?" Topher raised his eyes, but everything was shadows. "I remember the beginning fine. It sucked, but I'm not missing anything from that."

"I, too, lost my memories for some time after the death of my family." Zanasha was a solid, comforting presence even if he couldn't see her well, and his heart ached with his infatuation. "Walking the path of your oldest memories can help."

Topher sighed. "My life on Earth was stupid and useless. I was an old, broken man; waiting to die without having lived." Jesus Christ, where'd that come from? "Then I got Summoned here, and things got worse. F-Rank, useless Unique Skill, you probably heard all that from Hana." Both women nodded. "There were four other F-Rank kids with me: Hotaka, Makoto, Noboru, and Haruko. Hotaka was the smart one; glasses, goofy smile, and the coolest head you can imagine. He always kept it together, even when the rest of us were freaking out." He smiled, despite himself. "Makoto was this bitchy, feisty girl who unlocked the Monk Class. She and Hotaka were... ah, you can figure it out." He kicked his feet out, feeling his body start to unclench; maybe this was helping. "And Haruko was the shy girl. Afraid of her own shadow, but the bravest of any of us. She had the skill Flower Magic, and she talked a B-Ranker boy who had a crush on her into letting her sit in on the mage classes for the C- and D-Rankers. She worked so hard to cast her first spell."

"Is that where you learned your spellcraft, Bailey-sama?" asked Hana. "Along with this Haruko?"

Topher frowned. That's a weird question. "Sort of. She just wanted me to sit in on the classes with her, help her take notes. She kinda clung to my pant leg a lot; she needed someone to help her feel safe. I picked up a couple things by osmosis, but I didn't know I could cast spells because I never tried."

"You mentioned four companions?" prompted Zanasha gently.

"Yeah. Noboru." Topher squeezed his eyes shut. "Fat kid. Played the goofball, tried to help everybody get along. He had the Cantor Class, but..." I was merely being prudent; I had no way of knowing whether we would be allies or enemies. He shook his head. "We got kicked out of the castle right away, and Ichirou -- Cailu, disguised as Ichirou -- found us almost at once. Wanted to sell the items we'd brought from Earth to a D-Ranker mage named Oguro." He shuddered, remembering Oguro's spidery hands.

"He thought you would trust another Otherworlder." Hana's voice was flat; it wasn't a question.

"Yeah," Topher sighed. "Oguro was an Otherworlder too; a deserter from the last Summoning. But this centaur attacked Ichirou -- Cailu, I mean -- and the guards threw him in the dungeon under the castle. Threw Cailu in there, I mean, not the centaur. Somebody else killed the centaur." He blinked. I forgot about that. Who killed the centaur?

"And Cailu-san was killed in the dungeon?" Hana pressed.

"Later. Yeah. By the man in the cloak, with the knife." It is better if you remain ignorant. Topher's right hand rubbed his belly unconsciously. "Somebody killed Oguro, too; burned his shop down. Somebody called... J-something." He frowned. "Jyact. I don't remember what happened too well. It was bad."

"Have some water," murmured Zanasha, passing him a canteen. "You are doing well."

Yeah, right. "I ran back to get the kids out. Knew whoever killed Cailu and Oguro might come for us next. But I was too late." I have been preparing for this for quite some time. "The man in the cloak set the inn on fire. We fought. He killed..." He frowned. "That's where it stops."

"Friend Topher," Zanasha urged him gently, "you were digging for something. What were you remembering?"

"Haruko." Topher felt dead, drained; this was more than he'd remembered in months. "The man in the cloak... he stabbed her, in the stomach." He covered his mouth with his hand. "I got her out of the building. She lived for a little while after that." There were a few moments of silence.

Finally, Hana stirred. "And the others?"

"The man in the cloak..." Topher frowned. "No, that's not right." I was educated in this by someone else; but I will not insult you by attempting to lay the blame for my actions at their feet. "The assassin. That's what he was. Somebody put him up to it, just like Brox in Wanbourne. I think someone paid Jyact, too." He felt his muscles tensing; it was finally starting to come back together. "The assassin killed Makoto. Stabbed her like Cailu, and like Haruko. She died too." You woulda made a good Monk. "That son of a bitch."

"Can you describe him?" Hana pressed.

"Long nose... wait, no." Topher frowned. "He had Cailu's amulet, the one he used to impersonate Ichirou. That probably wasn't his real appearance." He sighed. "He's dead, anyway. I killed him." I'm sorry. I really am. He closed his eyes again. "Set him on fire. Then the roof fell on him."

Zanasha cocked her head. "If Cailu's killer is avenged, is your debt to the elven mage not fulfilled? Clearly returning to this place is troubling for you."

Topher sighed. "Like I said, I think somebody else put him up to it. Whoever killed Oguro, and maybe the centaur. Somebody with a vested interest in wiping out F-Rankers," he pointed out a little more forcefully, with a glance at Hana, "which is why I didn't want you coming along."

"Hana-chan," Zanasha deadpanned, "has a long history of disregarding advice to avoid dangerous situations."

"Zee!" The young Japanese woman stamped her foot, looking piqued; Topher chuckled.

"After that, I don't remember. Woke up in a dwarf merchant's cart halfway to the next town. Didn't remember any of this for... Jesus, for a long time."

Hana nodded. "Were you injured during the fight? Perhaps a blow to the head?"

Topher rubbed his balding forehead. "Dunno. But if I had to guess, yeah, I probably got my bell rung a little bit. Why?"

"Head trauma," Zanasha supplied, "is not, itself, a common source of memory loss. But in conjunction with a traumatic event..." she trailed off.

"Great." Topher raised his gaze, staring bitterly into the night sky. "Do I need to find someone with the Therapist Class?"

"What about the other two F-Rankers?" Hana interjected. "Hotaka and... Noboru? Perhaps they could help us."

"I don't know." Topher looked away, feeling guilty; I don't want to rat out Hotaka if he's laying low. "That's all I remember. Really."

Zanasha shrugged. "If that is all the information we have, then it is thus; we should make a plan." She turned to Hana. "What ideas do you have, Hana-chan?"

"Me?" The young woman flinched back, surprised. "Why me?"

"You are consistently successful in determining our strategic courses of action," replied Zansha imperturbably.

"Hey, yeah, that's right." Topher grasped at the thread of hope. "You were able to get into a secret society; I'd be a lot more comfortable with any plan of yours than any dumb crap I came up with."

Hana frowned, but crept closer to the firelight. "If you wish, Bailey-sama." She rested her pert chin on her palm, thinking. "If you are truly targeted by assassins, it may not be safe for you to return to Strathmore under your own identity."

Zanasha raised an eyebrow. "You are suggesting that Friend Topher should disguise himself?"

"You too, actually," Topher pointed out. "If they wanted to kill Ichirou, you're probably on their list too."

Hana pondered this, and nodded. "Very well. I have some skill with makeup and styling tools; I may be able to alter our appearances." She began to root around in her hip pouch. "We will also need new names. And a place to begin searching for clues."

Topher sighed. "If we need to look at Cailu's corpse, that means getting into the castle dungeons. And that means having a good excuse to enter the castle."

"That could be troublesome." Zanasha pursed her lips and tilted her head, looking outwards into the darkness; Topher's heart skipped a beat, and he had to force himself to look away. "Can we infiltrate it?"

"Maybe." Hana was pulling a bottle of some whitish substance from her pouch. "But it would be better to avoid that risk; if the S-Rankers have spellcasters, they may have warded the castle. But I have another plan." She smiled. "Bailey-sama, if you were a powerful mage on an errand that required access to the castle, what name would you consider appropriate for yourself?"

Topher didn't even hesitate. "Copperfield."