Chapter 35: When Life Gives You Slimes
------------------------------------------------------------------------ NEW RESOURCE PATTERNS GATHERED: NEW CONSTRUCT PATTERN QUALITIES ACQUIRED/UPGRADED: MANA ACQUIRED: 7, CURRENT AMOUNT: 56/56 (24 CONSUMED BY CONSTRUCTS) KNOWLEDGE OBTAINED: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
When Lollyp wakes up in her hammock early the next morning, this time she finds a very happy-looking Xenia waiting for her. Respawning from death is a little more disorienting than simply getting up after a good night's sleep, so it takes her a moment to restore her last thoughts. "Morning, boss. ...Ohhh, hey. Looks like someone's in a good mood. Things go well, I take it? ...What time is it, even?"
Xenia gives a somewhat embarrassed laugh. "Uh, next day technically, don't think it's dawn yet. It uh...took a little while longer for the party to leave compared to last time. But hey, I made you some presents while you were out!" She points at the wall behind her with her thumb, and Lollyp rolls herself out of the hammock to go take a look. As she does so she finds three new pinups gracing her wall - the paper they're drawn on isn't of particularly great quality, but the likenesses seem to be drawn quite well. On one a nude male elf stands, modesty provided only by his longbow, on the second, another nude elf lies down on the floor with an open spellbook placed in his lap, and the third features a naked dwarf woman, a double-sided axe held before her to hide her generous assets. "I woulda asked for their autographs, but I didn't have the paper until after they left. Though uh...let's just say there's a non-zero chance they could make a return visit. I assume you're a fan, given you seemed to recognize em."
Lollyp almost drools as she looks at the pinups, a trail of slime hanging from her lip. "Holy shit. Things went really well, didn't they? And yeah, the Dungeon Fuckers are kind of notorious. We were never introduced but I did see em in person once. They've got a reputation for being caught fucking in dungeon safe rooms, you'd think every third party has a story of catching them at it. And maybe half of those have a story of joining in, though if you ask me there's probably more that just don't admit it. I mean, it's not like it's just them. Adventurers are a horny people."
"No kidding. I put together a special gift box just for them - did you know that slime lube goes for more on the market than most of the enchanted gear I can make!? It's cheaper for me, mana-wise, but a couple bottles in there probably made it my biggest loot box yet." She grimaces. "Part of me really, really does not want to get a reputation, you know? But the capitalist in me is having a hard time ignoring the untapped market, if you get me."
"I can tell how much you wanna tap that market, alright! Did you really just give em a box full of slime?"
Xenia turns away, blushing. "Maybe one or two of Cerise's toys too, and..." Xenia mumbles quietly. "...maybe I might've given em a non-transferable pass to head directly down to the core chamber on their next visit." Lollyp raises an eyebrow, then the other for good measure. "Hey, if they don't have to fight, then that means you can stick around next time! I did this for you, obviously."
Lollyp grins. "Obviously. My boss being an insatiable thirst monster has nothing to do with it."
Xenia Worthy, Insatiable Thirst Monster rolls her eyes. "Pfft, I've got nothing on that dwarf. Really surprised me, honestly."
"Really? Everyone knows dwarves are the biggest sluts. Which I say in the most respectful and, indeed, impressed manner possible."
Xenia seems unconvinced. "Really? Dwarves are number one? Where do slimes rank?"
"They were born from a god who fucked rocks. So, you know where they get it from." She raises a hand and starts counting off on her fingers. "But I'd say dwarves number one, slimes second, succubi and incubi third. Probably gets competitive after that. On this continent, anyhow...you hear stories about some of the folks elsewhere, wouldn't wanna repeat hearsay though."
Xenia snorts. "Succubi are third? What is this horny world?"
"Hey, you're the one who watched three strangers who broke into your house fuck and then gave me pictures of them. Though I do have room for a fourth pinup here...could even sign it yourself, hehe."
"Hrmph. I may have your precious paper now, but I think I better be careful about how much smut I start making for you. Wouldn't want to ruin an impressionable mind..."
"Hey, representative of the world's second best sluts, here. Better be nice or I'll start telling you more about how slimes get things done..."
Xenia covers her ears and makes her way out of the chamber. "I've got work to dooooo..."
LATER THAT EVENING
Xenia stares morosely at her very-much-not-Skeletal-Slimes as she sits in the third chamber of the new Floor Three. From what she's seen and Guy's told her, monster crossbreeding is very much a game of random chance in the early stages. Once the source monsters are higher tier, or the spell's run enough times on a certain set, she'll apparently be able to specifically force together certain combinations or traits. For the moment however, the spell has simply been running on the very broad categories of 'Slime' and 'Undead'. And so it wasn't skeletons the spell found a combination for first.
It was ghosts.
As she watches a blobby, half-transparent green form pass through a stone wall, leaving a large mess of sticky residue behind it, Xenia holds her head in her palms. "Slimers! I've reinvented Slimers! Guy, we've created a comedy relief monster!"
Guy watches the floating monsters with a bit of confusion. "Comedic? That's certainly the first time I've heard ghosts referred to as being funny."
"I mean, look at em! They're just floating blobs of goo! Yeah, they can make someone a real mess, but I already set up that whole thing with the slime webs. Doubling up on that isn't going to be earning me any 'Most Creative Dungeon of the Year' awards, Guy."
Guy considers for a moment. "...I wonder if there is such a contest...? But ah, for the immediate concern, well, let's look at their potential attributes, shall we? Hrmm...at higher tiers, ghosts gain the ability to Possess adventurers, which is certainly a very powerful tool. At their current level however, they're more known for their intangibility and their Fear powers."
Xenia tilts her head. "Fear powers? You make that sound like more than just being real scary."
"At F tier, that would be about the extent of it, yes. But we have at least progressed far enough to make it an actual form of Mind magic, if perhaps still a weaker version of what it could be. Now, while slimes are perhaps also somewhat intangible compared to most monster types, the combination appears to be somewhere between the two - still able to pass through solid objects, but also still leaving a residue behind. So what we have to work with involves: fear, high resistance to physical attacks, although a low physical strength, and perhaps an ambushing style, what with passing through walls and whatnot."
The dungeon master sits in consideration for a few minutes. "Scary slime ambushes..." She sighs. "You know Guy, I was really, really trying to avoid this one. But I think it just works too well for what we've got."
Guy bobs in anticipation. "Avoid what, exactly?"
Xenia sighs again. "Slime tentacles! Or, wait, hold on - Terror Tentacles! We can get the boys to hide in the walls of another labyrinth here, and try to latch on to anyone who walks by. They grab someone, inject em full of panic, and then they start runnin'...I don't think these guys could hold on tight for long, too easy to break free of, so we gotta use that. If they run backwards, fine, if they run forwards, we give em the ol' spike-filled pit traps down the hall. Ruin their ability to watch for the deadlier traps, and probably fuck em up a bit too for the next puzzle room if the effect lasts long enough. And...oh God, forgive me, I just realized we've got the perfect horny bait now."
"I'm almost afraid to ask."
Xenia reaches out and casts Illusionary Demon on the nearest blobby ghost. It instantly takes the form of a succubus wearing a tight black outfit that shows more skin than it conceals, with the main hints to her true identity being her slightly transparent nature and her yellow skin, given the color of the original slime she cast the spell on. "...Hrmm, maybe oughtta use a red slime for that. But we can set up a, like, small succubus BDSM dungeon in the center of the maze, have her there lookin' all fine and shit, and a whole bunch of tentacle boys waiting to strike at the doorway. Since they're not officially traps and they can hide inside the walls, it'd be a total surprise!"
Guy pauses. "Are you sure this isn't just your excuse to finally try making the 'other' kind of dungeon down here?"
Xenia huffs. "I promise I'll be chaining up half-naked demon ladies to the wall for purely professional reasons. You know me, Guy, I take pride in my professionalism."
"Indeed, you are a Paragon of such among Dungeons. ...Oh, one moment, it seems we have another guest."
Xenia takes a moment to tap into her wider dungeon senses. "...Oh boy. Guy, go tell Lollyp not to do anything stupid this time. I'm going upstairs."
Outside, wincing at a momentary cold breeze, Field Agent Alizz walks up to the dungeon door alone. "Greetings, Worthy Dungeon. I request permission to enter and safely traverse your challenges. I am willing to fight if required, but I am also willing to provide payment in the form of gifts if you will allow me safe passage." She swallows. "...I need to speak to Lollyp."