Chapter 2: Concerning the Soul
Dark clouds, thunder, and lighting, strange lands, alien societies, all in a maelstrom of images and sounds that made no sense. Voices of the past, whispers of the void, witnessing his death, multiple deaths.
Waking up in a cold sweat, Van got up off the bed, pacing around his small room, trying to get the blood flowing and get rid of the excess energy his adrenaline provided him.
Another nightmare, for five years now he had nightmares every few months. Nightmares of sky islands where he flew unimpeded or navigating an ocean of stars in a metal ship. Lands made of pure metal, planets filled with nothing but sand, planets submerged in water. Worlds of magic, and worlds of cultivation. All those times he lived, all those times he died. The memories wash away with the passage of time and already he was slowly forgetting what the nightmare was about that woke him up this time.
Van took a controlled breath and exhaled it, trying to banish the last remnants of the dream. Every few months now he had a dream like that. A dream that imparted strange ideas and knowledge into the ocean of his deep subconscious. Waiting there, biding its time until it was ready to strike.
Van now knew what was wrong with him, it wasn't just that his body was different, he had been assured that despite missing a few pieces he can operate normally and that the thing that made his sperm was a pouch in the crotch area, so there was no reason to worry about being infertile. Nor that he had to worry about lack of nipples or belly button as that can be sometimes normal for a male, even though it is very rare.
No, what worried his parents, and still made it difficult for his mother to come see him, was the fact that he was an Awakened. Not just any Awakened but a Soul Awakened. A natural-born Soul Awakened.
His father promised to get more into what that meant, but for now, he would be left in the dark, with the only knowledge being that being a soul awakened meant that he might go insane from the memories of past lives and that his father will be trying to help him with it soon.
After a few more minutes Van finally calmed down, expelling the last of his pent-up energy and going over to a bookshelf to grab one of the books. He’d been trying to learn as quickly as possible, how to speak, read and write once he realized that he wouldn’t get in trouble for it. He was worried in the beginning that learning too quickly would be bad for him, but surprisingly his father wasn’t weirded out by it and instead encouraged it, giving Van some nice room to breathe where he can act more like himself than just a normal baby.
Just as he finished the first page, a knock on the door drew his attention, “Come in” Van said, trying not to slur his words. He was still a little asleep, sometimes when he didn’t wake up early from a nightmare and was still asleep, the maid would come in anyway to tidy things and wake him up for the day.
Once given permission, a maid walked in, bowed then got to work by going over the drawers to choose what he would be wearing for the day. Van was surprised by the fact she wasn’t one of the normal maids that he usually saw. Instead, she was one of his father’s personal maids, unlike the rest of the maids that he was familiar with, she wasn’t a goblin but a vamp.
Which brought another point up, Van finally knew what most of the maids were. The maids were goblins, but from what little he knew of goblins from his many different memories was different than what he saw around the castle. But then again those memories never saw a goblin in real life so what would they know?
There were goblins working everywhere in the castle, some of them hob-goblins. They really did not look all that different than a child, just with more mature aspects of their body, some even having large breasts. Their features were both sharp and soft, they didn't have big noses or ears, and though they were indeed a little green it wasn’t in an unhealthy way. The goblins were only slightly above his father’s waist, and the hob-goblins reached around his father's chest in height If one was trying to figure out how tall they were. They also had soft yellow or green eyes, and pointed ears tapered to the sides. He had once asked why there were goblins working in the castle, but his father said that it was another thing he wasn’t old enough to learn just yet.
Once the maid was done choosing his clothes, she helped him remove his sleepwear and change into something more formal instead of the usual casual wear. Which made Van excited because that usually meant he was going to be taken out of his room instead of being stuck in all day. It was something that also got him a little nervous as well, after all, he didn’t get many opportunities to leave his room and explore the castle or really explore at all since the maids would always guide him to wherever he needed to go. After he was changed the two of them left to meet his father.
Van always tried to soak in as much of the castle's layout and sights as possible when he went outside of his room. As far as he could tell the castle was decently large, with areas clearly newer than others, giving it the feeling that the castle grew from something much smaller.
Maids and even some common workers bustled about the stone hallways, carrying things, moving things, talking about things, different races, it was just so exciting for him! Sometimes he saw the outside of the castle, from the inside of course, and what he saw was truly alien in nature. Van hoped one day he would get a chance to explore what the world had to offer him, but for now, he had to obey his father.
As they moved they went ever deeper into the castle, going lower and lower, to a point where some of the castle's strange glowing light orbs on the castle's walls had to be lighted up for those who could not see in dim light. Deeper they went, taking stair after stair further down into the castle's depths.
Van grew a little nervous now, they were approaching the basement of the castle, the oldest part of it. Van had been down there once before, when his father and his mage friend took him to deep depths, where they placed him in the middle of a giant magic circle, with an endless array of runes and strange geometric shapes. Raw power seemed to hang in the air so thick one could cause ripples in it just by moving through it.
As they went deeper, his suspicion was confirmed, the path became bleaker and darker, and the smell of old age that seemed to waft from the very pores of the walls assaulted his nostrils. Once they reached the bottom they walked down a hallway filled with coffins and armor. The smell of death and ancient magic clung to everything, and as far as he could tell, the coffins and armor were not just for show. alongside magical runes that lay everywhere that were no doubt used for protection or traps. This was probably the most protected place in the entire castle.
The maid stopped in front of a large metal door, so thick and filled with magical enchantments that it could take years if not decades for someone to breakthrough. Maybe even centuries.
Van nodded, and the maid lifted him up to better reach the wall. He placed his hand on a magical circle that jutted out from the rest of the wall. Instantly it glowed and he felt a small prick of pain from his hand as the seal not only drew some of his blood but also tested his soul signature to determine whether or not he was friend or foe. Once it had determined that he was indeed allowed through, the wall broke apart down the middle revealing another wall that did the same, until that too revealed a final third wall with a large arched doorway.
The maid put him down and turned away, as only those given express permission may be allowed to enter. He watched as she left and continued watching well after her back had receded from view. Mustering up his courage he tried to prepare himself mentally for what may happen next.
Van took a deep breath and made his way to the final door. He gently placed his hand on it and the door opened revealing a truly massive room with a giant magical circle that took up most of the space in it, with doors that led further into other rooms deeper in.
He saw his father, Alvaroz, talking to his mage friend, Lorenzo, a man that looked like he was in his sixties with a greying beard and hair, clearly human unlike most of the staff, and definitely not from the Vampire lands, making Van wonder how the two got to know each other. He only met Lorenzo a few times before, so he didn’t know him all too well but his impression of him was favorable. They seemed to be in some sort of debate when he entered, stopping when they noticed him.
“Ah, there he is,” his father said with a large smile on his face showing off his pointed teeth. Reminding Van once more that his father was a vampire and that he in turn was a half-vampire or Dhampire in this case. Which also made him think of his mother for a moment. from what little he knew, his mother was an aasimar, also making him wonder about how the two met.
“How was your sleep? Did you rest well?” his father asked in a gentle manner, his voice clear and smooth, trying to put Van at ease. Seeing as Van looked very nervous.
Van shrugged “I slept fine” not wanting to tell his father that he had another nightmare so as not to worry him and trying to hide said nervousness.
Alvaroz didn’t believe him, he saw the small dark circles under Van’s eyes and how tired he looked, but decided to let the matter go and just nodded. “Good, that’s... good to hear...”
There was an awkward pause as the two stared at each other, both of them didn’t get many opportunities to bond or get to know each other. Not for lack of trying, it was just… a bit complicated. They both wanted to be a proper father and son, but some circumstances out of their control prevented that from happening which left them both wanting and awkward around each other.
Lorenzo coughed into his hand drawing both of their attention, his voice old but still full of energy “well, I think it’s time for us to move on and get to why we are all here.” taking on a formal tone he began.
“Your father and I wish to put you through another test.” he said pointing to the magic circle in front of him. “ I know it's a little painful, but it's for your own good. We have to see whether or not your soul has stabilized yet. And whether or not it has, we have set things up for you to go through a full awakening anyway.” he said massaging his short trimmed beard.
Van looked to his father, confusion clearly written on his face.
“Lorenzo, perhaps we should tell him a little more about what all of this is about rather than what's going to happen. Van just learned to read, and hasn’t gotten the time to be properly taught. Let me remind you he is a little more than five years old” his father said to his friend.
“Ah, of course, of course…” Lorenzo replied, looking down on Van, then turning back to Alvaroz with a thoughtful expression “How about after this I take him under my wing and teach him a few things? I could make a proper scholar out of him! Under my tutelage he will be the best of the best! Especially if he already learned to read. What do you say?” he said with a smile, his academic side showing.
“We’ll talk about that after the ritual,” Alvaroz said “and after you explain a few things to him in a way he can understand, and please keep in mind, five years old,” he said, a bit firmly but also a little amused by his friend and his eccentricities.
Lorenzo just chuckled “I know, I know” then turning to Van, Alright tell me, what do you know of the Soul Realm and Awakenings?”
“Umm… I don’t know anything?” Van said, perplexed by the question.
“Really? Nothing at all? Lorenzo asked with a frown.
Van shocked his head in negative.
“Well, that's a problem, this is going to take a while then” he looked around. “ perhaps we should get comfortable in another room. We have a long talk ahead of us, and if I'm going to have to explain everything I’ll want to do it sitting down.” he said looking at Alvaroz expectantly.
“ Alright...” Alvaroz slowly nodded. “Follow me.” he then led them into one of the many doors that led deeper in, off to the side.
Van looked in wonder as they entered one of the rooms for the first time. There seemed to be endless rows of books and rare materials, each of them warded with magical traps and alarms. Soon they reached the center of the large room with some sort of work desk and ledger, no doubt of all the treasures and materials that lay here. There were a few chairs covered in a small layer of dust. it didn’t seem like this place was used very often, if at all.
Lorenzo sat down on one of the creaky chairs trying to get himself comfortable. Once he finally did he relaxed and looked towards his audience for them to seat themselves before beginning.
Van sat down on one of the chairs, a little excited, thinking he was going to hear a story, his father though already looked a little bored, no doubt hearing what's to come many times before. Once the two got comfortable Lorenzo created a few lights in the air to provide some more illumination.
“Now then, where to start? The Soul Realm is…” Lorenzo began only to pause in thought, his brow furrowing as it dawned on him how difficult it would be to properly explain but deciding to push on through anyway.
“The soul realm is... for a lack of a better term, the literal representation of one’s soul. It defines us all in a unique and special way. Its importance is life and death.”
His voice became serious as he began to explain. “The soul realm is the place where all those looking to become strong go. to explore avenues about themselves they never knew, or to grow aspects of themselves for their own benefit. It is the accumulation of one's experiences, and one’s very being. It takes on the shape of whatever best represents a person. whether it is what that person loves the most or what that person is obsessed with, or even a representation of what explains that person's actions, where he grew up or just their literal psyche. it can be everything and anything, even the abstract.”
There was an edge now to his voice “It's not something you casually tell others about unless circumstances force it or you trust that person explicitly, for it's a very private thing, and enemies who know of it can use it against you break your very soul!”
His voice softened taking a more academic tone “Each person's soul realm is unique but just because everyone’s is unique doesn't mean they can't be similar if they live and grow in a similar way or in a similar environment, elves for example usually have a tree as their representation.”
Lorenzo sat back, the chair creaking from old age as he did so, trying to find the right words to explain his voice taking an older tone more befitting his age. “Perhaps it's better to show than tell,” he said looking towards Alvaroz. “Let’s take your father for example” Alvaroz perked up at the mention of him. “ if you don’t mind of course”
Alvaroz shrugged.
“Thank you, let’s begin with your father’s soul realm,” Lorenzo said, drawing out a staff from thin air and casting his magic to create a 3D image in front of everyone. “ Your father’s soul realm, from what little I know of it, is a training field with training dummies on it” almost immediately an image formed of a large open dirt field with a bunch of training dummies.
“This training field represents your father's favorite place, you might not be aware of it, but your father very much enjoys practicing his swordsmanship. So much so that his soul realm took on the shape of a training field.”
“But here is where it gets interesting” the image now did a close-up of the dummies, all of them in a different stance of swordsmanship, some looking so life-like that they could be mistaken for people, while others were little more than wood and straw. One stood out from the rest as the most detailed, looking almost exactly like Alvaroz himself.
“Each one of these training dummies represents a style of swordsmanship your father is familiar with. The greater the skill the more detailed the dummy. In other words, your father's training in the real world affects certain aspects of his soul realm. it becomes an indication of how far your father has come along in his training of those skills. Of course, instead of training one could also use essence or mana to help improve aspects of their soul realm without the need to train, but doing so can be very costly.” looking at Van questioning face “I'll explain about that later, for now, it's time to continue with the most important part of the soul realm.” The image changed into the shape of his father and one of the dummies.
“Some soul realms have a special active or passive ability that can be used. Your father for example has an active ability that can allow him to summon one of his dummies to fight alongside him. It will have all the training and experience he has in whatever style that dummy represents.'' The image changes to show the dummy mimicking his father's moves “So your father, being considered a master in many forms, will have a dummy that is just as good as him, and fight alongside him with equal skill and experience! Lorenzo said, getting a little excited about the prospects of talking about the fascinating aspects of soul realms.
“But! Like any good thing, there is a consequence of summoning an aspect of your soul into the real world. Should the dummy get damage, the effects on the dummy will affect your father's skill that dummy represented! Meaning that your father will have to retrain or relearn what was lost from any damage the dummy received! So while it's a good way to increase one’s fighting potential if one needed it, it's also very risky.” Lorenzo finished a little sadly. The image then changed to the dummy getting wounded, which for some reason prevented it from performing as it should and that reflected on the image of his father.
“Of course, to compensate for that risk. The dummy is tougher and harder to break or hurt than the actual person themselves, and if you're quick, you can recall them before they get too damage. Not to mention the fact that it's easier to retrain the skills that were damaged or just to wait for the damage to heal over time, like you would do with any other wound. Thought that still doesn't mean it still isn’t a great risk, imagine if you met an opponent that completely destroys the dummy, you will have to wait months or years for it to recover, all the while your skill is shot and you can’t swing a sword to save your life!” Lorenzo finished.
Van for his part was amazed that such a thing was possible, the endless possibilities got him excited for what his own soul realm could provide should what Lorenzo was saying be true. Though the drawbacks also made him nervous. Still, he couldn’t help but ask about Lorenzo’s soul realm.
“What about yours?”
“Hmm? Mine?” Lorenzo Asked.
Van nodded
“Well, mine isn’t as impressive as your father’s is. You see, my soul representation is just a book.” Lorenzo changed the image into one of an old thick tome with purple and gold coverings. “ sadly I don't have an active ability, or a large soul realm. Thankfully I do have enough space to store some of my things in” nodding towards the staff, which only made Van more curious.
“How do you store things in your soul realm and why is your book no good?” Van asked with curiosity, wanting him to further explain.
Lorenzo smiled amused and happy to impart his knowledge upon the next generation, he even puffed out his chest a bit. “ well everyone has a soul realm, but it can be so small that their representation of your soul fills it entirely. But when it doesn't, the excess space can be used to store things in. Not to mention, you can also grow the core of your soul realm, your soul's representation, to take up the excess space, which could unlock new abilities or skills and make you stronger. And given enough time and training, you can even grow your soul realm! The bigger the soul realm, the greater your potential for growth, and the more things you can store.”
“Of course sometimes the empty space is actually a part of the soul representation, such as for sky islands. There are some who have castles as the representation of their soul realm, but if their soul realm is too small, then the castle might as well be just a small keep or a very large tower! think of the soul realm as a bubble with the core of your soul’s representation being at the center” Lorenzo finished.
“You can have a castle!?”
Lorenzo nodded amused by Van’s outburst. “ indeed you can, or a house, or a farm. Each room in your house can be one that represents a skill, let's say alchemy, then you will have a room for alchemy, and depending on how much you train it, the more full of alchemic utensils and things of that nature will fill the room as well as an improvement in aesthetic. For a farmer it could be the many different types of fields they have, how many, what kind of plant grows on it, and even how well developed the land is or how far the plants have grown.”
Van’s eyes widened as it truly began to sink in how diverse one’s soul realm can be.
Alvaroz interjected “I think that enough about soul realms, you two can talk more about it later if you want, but for now it's best to move one and explain about awakenings and what's going to happen next.” stopping the two from continuing their conversation.
“Alright, alright,” Lorenzo said with a frown “ you just gotta ruin all my fun don’t you.”
Alvaroz just rolled his eyes.
“Right then, awakenings, awakenings…” Lorenzo gave a thoughtful look before continuing. “ Well for one, you are half-awakened,” he said pointing at Van “ Or to be more precise you were born a half soul awakened.” He finished with great seriousness, letting it sink in before continuing.
“There are six different types of awakenings. blood, race, mind, soul, body, and power. Each one with its own purpose, benefit, and drawback. Well... sometimes at least” he petered off before resuming.
“Blood awakening is for when one wishes to unlock hidden potential in their bloodline, it's very closely tied to race awakening to the point they can be considered the same thing. Race awakening is for those who may have multiple ancestors or bloodlines from different races, and that person wishes to unlock them in order to gain their power. Be careful though, you can turn into a chimera, your appearance might not change by much, but there are those who don't take kindly to that kind of thing, it's one thing to be a half-elf, half-human or a dhampir such as yourself, another to be several different races at once. True one can grow powerful from doing so, but it can have great repercussions on your mind, body, and soul if you're not strong enough for it.
Van leaned forward intently, wanting to make sure he hears every word.
“Body should be self-explanatory, it's the unlocking of your body’s potential, and is one of the most common types of awakenings done next to power. It allows you to train or increase your body's power without being a muscle-bound freak. Power awakening, allows you to awaken to a special power or energy, if you have the potential for it. You can awaken to being able to use mana and therefore learn magic, or aura and use aura arts, there are even a few that gain the ability to use ki. These two awakenings are the ones most people do whenever able, even a farmer wouldn’t mind spending years of his work for a ritual to unlock his body's full potential, it just makes life easier,” he shrugged “And makes you safer in this dangerous world of ours.”
“Power awakening is a bit more expensive, but it's also fairly common. Who wouldn't want to cast spells?” he said with a smile shooting sparks from his hand.“Also you don’t have to always pay for body or power, you can train or meditate to awaken those aspects, so not everyone requires a ritual.”
“ As for Mind and Soul Awakenings...” Lorenzo paused, his face turning grim, almost as if he didn’t want to talk about those types of Awakenings before taking a breath and expelling it.
“ Mind awakenings are highly regulated, they allow one to unlock the potential of the mind. With an awakened mind, you can do several hard math equations in your mind in a second of what it would take others hours or days to do. You can even gain some slight psychic abilities such as telekinesis without the use of magic. But!” Lorenzo finished raising a finger and wearing a very serious face. “For most, it's just a small boost to one's intelligence and there's a high risk of a slow fall towards insanity afterward.” his face turned grim, almost angry even.
“There are many who thought they could handle a mind awakening. After all, who wouldn't want to be smarter? To be mental equals with the best of the best” he shook his head ''But, there's only so far your mind can expand to before it pops! And you're either left dead or a drooling idiot. some are not even that lucky.”
Van who was looking excited, paled at the thought. He then thought back to what Lorenzo said at the entrance, and hesitantly asked “ And you want me to go through all the awakenings? if it's so risky shouldn't we avoid it!?” he asked, fear in his voice, while still trying to remain calm.
Lorenzo shook his head sadly. his father looked uncomfortable fidgeting a little in his chair. “ Sadly that is because of the last type of awakening, even more dangerous than the mind, and in some places, completely illegal.”
Van hesitated. “The… soul?”
Lorenzo nodded
“So it’s because I'm a half soul awakened?”
Lorenzo nodded once more “ the last type of awakening is used to expand the potential of the soul, while you can overtime expand it naturally, doing an awakening can give immediate results on top of special abilities, powers, and more. Take all the awakenings previously stated combined and it still pales in comparison to what a soul awakening can do. What it can give... what it can cost...”
Lorenzo took a deep breath and let it out in a long-suffering sigh, trying to calm his own nerves of trying to tell a child the danger he was in.
“ one of the benefits, or drawbacks, depending on how some may view it. Is the ability to remember past lives. In your case, it's through nightmares or strange dreams. In other’s… it can be a far more Raw experience. The best possibility is when the past lives are subsumed into the dominant personality, this usually means the person going through the awakening gains an increase to their soul, and may have some fragmented memories that can be useful and that's it. If we were to talk about it simply of course... But there is also the risk, that instead everything going ‘perfectly’ your mind and soul are instead split between your past life, or live’s as the case may be and you suffer a case of split personalities.”
He looked Van in the eye “Insanity in the soul awakened is very common, though some get by, by having and exhibiting a few quirks or let’s say, special or eccentric personality traits that help them maintain control over themselves. Past lives can come from all manner of different backgrounds, and even alien worlds where they have three arms instead of two or three eyes, etcetera, etcetera … i'm sure you get the idea”
“Finally… there is the case where the past life completely takes over. Sometimes leaving nothing of the old personality… the new life will, in most cases, remember nothing of the life they just replaced, and will either think of this as a second chance, a game or a dream.”
“Then there is the soul death, where the body is completely devoid of the soul, you become nothing more than a warm body, as your soul literally rips itself apart, or loses connection to its vessel and slips back into the void. Because of these we have to get you through all the awakenings to increase your strength before you complete your half-finished soul awakening, otherwise, you risk a slow descent into madness… or worse.” he finished, not wanting to look him in the eye but forcing himself to.
Van was still for a long time, his face as white as a sheet. His mind was awhirl with fear and dread. He didn’t know what to say.
“ Surely you must have already felt it right?” Lorenzo said, pity in his eyes and his voice taking on a soft tone “ the feeling like things are not matching up? Like things are not the way they should be. Like some pieces are missing, people are not acting as they should, places not looking right, plants, trees, people, society itself? All the wrong shapes? All the wrong colors? Those are not the thoughts of a young child, a mere five years old Van... If you were a teenager in a rebellious phase maybe you could get away with it. But sadly that is not the case.”
Van looked down, not wanting to look at anyone, unshed tears in the rims of his eyes. His chest felt like there was a hole in it, and his whole body felt heavy. The fear of death ran rampant without check inside his mind.
When suddenly a hand came on his shoulder, his father had moved from his chair to come to him, worry, pain, sadness, and more in his eyes. He reached down to give his son a simple, but loving hug, dragging Van into his embrace. Trying to convey feelings too complicated for words. “Don’t worry, you will get through this, and everything will be normal. I will do everything in my power to make sure you stay with me. I promise.”
Van lost some control as he sniffled into his father's shoulders. they stayed like that for a while until his father pulled away and asked if he was okay. Van nodded since there wasn’t really anything else he could do.
“ will the rituals be painful?” Van asked looking to Lorenzo
“I’m not going to lie, they will be very painful, and you may need to go through them several times until we know you properly awakened to them. On top of that, you will have to take on some meditation training to help stabilize your mind and soul as we progress.” Lorenzo gave Van a look straight in the eyes. “ are you ready?”
The room was silent.