Winter Swan

“I’ve been busy with work… I did a photoshoot today, so I came here after I finished.”

“Really? Well, it’s so nice to see you. I’ve been thinking about you lately. I went on models.com and I saw your face! You are the hottest Asian model out there.”

Silje drank her cocktail and Greg looked at her proudly. He continued, “Did you know that you are the most successful model I know? Actually, you are the only one who became famous. There were so many models I knew that I thought would make it, but they all disappeared from the scene eventually. Including me.”

He was smiling, but Greg couldn’t hide his deep bitterness. Silje looked at him, who looked gorgeous with beautiful brown hair, blue eyes, and lean body.

Just how many models were there in New York that someone like Greg didn’t make it?

Silje said to him slowly, “I was just lucky. Anything could’ve happened and I made it by accident. I am thankful for it.”

“Luck? That’s it?”

“I, of course, have my pride as a model, but I do think luck had a lot to do with it.”

When Silje explained calmly, Greg looked at her with interest and nodded.

“That is why I like you so much, Silje. You are realistic and strong, and I will always cheer for you. I will tell you that I don’t believe it was just luck. I have always complained about how I didn’t get many jobs, but I didn’t do anything about it other than just wait for things to happen. But you… You always kept yourself ready for anything and when you were given a chance, you took it all the way. That is why I think you made it.”

When Greg spoke with a teasing smile, Silje replied, “Thank you for your kind words, Greg. And if you really believe what you just said, maybe you can give me a free drink?”

Silje and Greg both grinned.

“Oh, of course, my lady.”

He quickly made a white drink for her.

“It’s delicious!”

“Good. I thought you might like it. It’s a peach cocktail.”

He winked and asked with an obvious interest, “By the way, what’s with those paparazzi photos! Christian Lozetti? I almost fainted when I saw the pictures! He is so popular with everyone, including all of my gay friends, even though Christian Lozetti is straight. Many of the Hollywood actresses claim to be his fan too, right? Charlize Theron, Scarlett Johansson, and so on… So tell me all about what is going on between you and Christian!”

At Greg’s excited tone, Silje smiled. Greg asked, “Why are you smiling?”

“Oh, it’s just that you sound like someone I know.”

Greg reminded Silje of her agency’s CEO Klare.

Klare didn’t interfere with his models’ personal lives, but when he saw the photos on the tabloid, he seemed curious.

It was Christian Lozetti after all. Klare asked her, “Couldn’t you tell me just a little bit about it? Come on, girl! Are you really dating the great Christian?”

She smiled just remembering their conversation.

Greg continued to beg her.

“Tell me about Christian Lozetti. I am dying to know! Rumor has it that he is a workaholic and a party boy. Is this true? I heard that he sometimes throws parties and all the top female models attend them. At the end of all his shows, he leaves with the models behind him like an emperor. It’s like he has his own personal harem! Dammit!”

Lowering his voice, Greg asked covertly, “So… Is he really straight?”

“Yeah, he is. He isn’t gay.”

“I’m disappointed… It’s so saddening to hear that.”

Greg looked truly upset, making Silje laugh.

He asked her seriously, “So what do you think of Christian as a man?”

After a short silence, Silje replied slowly, “I have never thought of him as a man. When I am with him, I feel comfortable. I like him a lot, but not in that way. He is really attractive though. I admit that he is gorgeous.”

“Really? So you guys aren’t dating? I thought those photos were taken when you were on a date.”

“No, there is nothing between us. It wasn’t a date. It was more like… just a conversation. We are both from northern Europe. He is from Denmark and I from Norway. We grew up in similar cultures, so we found it easy to talk to each other.”

Greg shrugged his shoulders.

“So you just talked with him and you aren’t going out with him? But you look so lonely.”

“…”

It felt like her deepest secret was caught by him. Greg was very astute, probably because he has worked as a bartender for a long time. He seemed to understand her very well, and Silje felt uncomfortable that she was so easy to read.

Greg started to clean the glasses as he gave her a piece of advice.

“New York is a big city and it can be very lonely here. It is hard to find someone you can talk to. Someone you can be comfortable with. It was hard for me too. Christian Lozetti is a big gun in the fashion industry, and if you feel like you can talk to him easily, then you should perhaps seriously consider dating him. It will be good for your career and it will certainly help with your loneliness. Did you know that you walked in my bar with such a sad expression on your face? Like you were dumped or something.”

Silje appreciated his advice, so she decided to confide in Greg.

“To be honest, there is a reason why I can’t date him. It’s just not that simple.”

Greg continued to dry the glasses with a clean cloth and asked, “Why? What makes it so complicated?”

“It’s not that it’s complicated…”

Silje continued quietly, “It’s actually very simple. He… came to destroy me… And all I could to do was let him.”

Playing with her cocktail glass, Silje continued, “He came to destroy me from Norway. He was… too seductive and I couldn’t refuse him. He… is an impossibly cold winter. He made my heart freeze and in the end, he shredded it beyond repair. I knew how this whole thing would end, yet I don’t know why I feel so lonely without him… If this is what he wanted, he succeeded. In this giant city, he froze my heart into a block of ice, and I can’t feel anything anymore. I just feel numb.”

Silje had an empty look in her eyes as she looked down at her hands.