Winter Swan

After that day, Kail stopped contacting Silje.

She felt relieved after the first two days. After the third day, she felt happy because she thought that perhaps he was gone.

However, when a week passed by without hearing from him, Silje started to become worried. It didn’t feel right. A nagging feeling wouldn’t leave Silje, like she had something stuck in her throat.

She frowned and wondered.

Did something happen to him?

Kail wasn’t the type that would disappear this easily without a word. Kail Bruntland wouldn’t go away this quietly from her life.

That wasn’t the man Silje knew.

So where did he go?

She couldn’t believe that he was truly gone. This wasn’t his style. He had to be somewhere in New York.

When she couldn’t take it anymore, Silje finally went to find him. She went to the last place she saw Kail.

The penthouse in the hotel near the Upper East’s Frick Collection Gallery.

When she arrived, it was silent inside the door in the hallway.

Knock knock.

When no one answered, Silje called for the manager. If he was truly going to leave, she wanted to make sure. Silje wanted to hear from Kail himself to confirm that this was truly the end.

“Please open the door. I rang the bell, but no one is answering the door.”

The manager hesitated due to privacy reasons, but when Silje refused to leave, he gave up and opened the door with the spare key.

Squeak.

Silje quickly walked in and when it was dead silent inside, Silje got a bad feeling.

All the curtains were closed, making the place dark. No sun could get in and anxiously, Silje called out.

“…Kail.”

There was no answer.

Silje opened the curtains and what she saw was worse than she expected. Empty whiskey bottles were everywhere, and the smell of alcohol was overwhelming.

At first, she couldn’t find him anywhere, when suddenly, she noticed a figure on the floor covered in a dark blanket.

“Kail!”

He wouldn’t move and for a second, she feared for the worst. She stared and when she got closer to him, thankfully, his hot breath tickled her face.

He still didn’t look well. He was breathing unevenly, and his hair was a mess. His cheeks were red from his fever and his breath smelled strongly of whiskey.

He wasn’t moving and he was wearing a crumpled gray gown.

It was too strange to see him like this. To be in such desperate condition…

Of all people, Silje didn’t want to see Kail Bruntland like this. She didn’t want to see him weak.

Silje stared and whispered, “What do you think you are doing, Kail?”

When she got closer, she could see that there were scratches on his cheeks and he looked like he lost a lot of weight since the last time she saw him, which was only a week ago. When she whispered his name, Kail slowly opened his eyes.

“…Kail?”

When Silje frowned and said his name again, he blinked. Kail seemed to be confused.

“Kail, are you awake now? What happened?”

When she asked him, Kail looked up at her with his green eyes and suddenly, Silje froze. The way he looked at her seemed cold and indifferent.

Silje realized that this must be how he looked at all the other people. It was very different than the way he looked at her.

Even when he looked at her coldly, she could always feel warmth in his eyes, but not anymore. Now, he looked frighteningly uncaring.

“…!”

Then suddenly, Kail offered her his hand. It seemed that his mind cleared a little and he finally recognized her. He smiled faintly and he seemed glad to see her. The cold indifferent look disappeared, and the warmth came back in his eyes.

Only for her.

Silje asked in annoyance, “Are you still alive? Why did you drink so much? Is this how you spend your time in New York?”

Kail grinned in amusement, but his eyes looked serious.

“Maybe. I actually got the worst cold… And perhaps I deserved it. How ironic is it that I got sick from the New York weather when I am used to the harsh cold in Norway?”

Considering how he looked, his voice was surprisingly clear and strong. If it wasn’t for the breathlessness, Kail almost sounded normal.

Silje stared at him.

Why did he drink so much?

He looked awful.

Kail’s hand was bandaged and he brushed his hair aside as he asked, “Why are you staring? Is there something on my face?”

Silje couldn’t help noticing his bandaged hand. When she looked at him questioningly, Kail grinned again. He acted like it was not a big deal, like it happened all the time.

His smile made her upset.

“I’m doing fine on my own, so you don’t have to worry,” he said nonchalantly but Silje couldn’t help hiding her misery from her eyes. She looked around in frustration and glaring at the whiskey bottles, Silje replied, “You should’ve at least contacted me. If you disappear like this without a word, how could I know that you returned to Oslo? You need to make sure you don’t leave any loose ends.”

Silje continued coldly, “You like things to be clean-cut and tidy, right? If this is what you are going to do, just fooling around by drinking to death, then tell me now that it is over between us. Tell me that you are going back to Oslo. You need to let me know, or else, acting this way just makes me angrier. Got it?”

She tried to be as harsh as possible, and when Kail didn’t say anything, Silje frowned and asked, “Why are you being so quiet?”

Kail continued to stare at her and said to her, “Look at me.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“Look at my eyes. You seem to have a hard time meeting my eyes. Why can’t you face me? Does my bandaged hand bother you?” Kail asked in a self-deprecating tone and laughed wearily.

“You… I just don’t get you, Silje.”

Heavy guilt filled Silje’s heart. Kail came to New York because of her and the pain he felt was all her fault. She bit her lips.

“Stop it. I don’t want to hear it.”

When she still couldn’t look at him straight, Kail said to her, “If you are feeling guilty about me, don’t. There is no need.”

“What?”

Silje turned to look at him in disbelief. Kail smiled bitterly and continued, “Is this your way of trying to feel better? Did you come here to ease your guilt? Yet even though you are standing in front of me, you refuse to put your hand on my forehead.”

He gave her an unpleasant smile and added, “If you are wondering if I have a fever, then put your hand on me to check. I dare you, but of course, I know you never will, Silje.”

“You…”

Silje tried to protest, but Kail crossed his arms and asked, “Are you feeling sorry?”

“What?”

“If you are feeling guilty, then meet me again one last time. I am not done, so I won’t leave just yet. As you can see, I am sick, so let me recover for a while. Next time we meet though, I will see you outside of this penthouse. If you accept my offer, I will leave New York soon.”

Silje’s eyes widened at his proposal.

Kail explained to her that wanted to go on a proper date with her one last time.

He wanted them to pretend that they were still in Oslo five years ago and spend a day together.