Will of embers

Chapter 18

Each step Hiruzen took was slow but also measured and deliberate. He distributed his weight to his toes first, then gently rolled his foot toward his heel and onto the ground. His body weight rested primarily over his back leg, so he didn't cling his feet against the ground noisily. Now, he only needed to do this for another thousand, maybe ten thousand times, and he would be able to walk quietly like a shinobi naturally.

'Nah, I'd rather stick to my excuse of having others noticing me since I am the Hokage.' It was simply easier to do that than this. He knew that he promised himself to learn the basics, but this was just tedious, and in the end, more powerful shinobi would notice him anyway. So, it was also pointless exercise that he definitely didn't put in tens of hours of learning by watching Kakashi and others walking.

'Okay, Transformation jutsu is learned, and so is Substitution jutsu. Now, only Body Flicker jutsu is left.' Checking the list in his head, Hiruzen nodded proudly. He was finally finishing up his basics. Taijutsu and even kunai throwing and handling were also in the bag. Everything was going up steadily, even if it was a bit slow. But he couldn't ignore his work as the Hokage, so that didn't leave him much time.

'Okay, there goes nothing.' Hiruzen took a deep breath and prepared to cross his room at an almost untraceable speed. He only needed to use chakra to tense his body and temporarily move at extreme speeds. With his destination in sight, Hiruzen moved, and the next moment, he was at the other end of his room.

"Well, that was pretty easy."

"Ding!!! The hidden quest has been completed. Congratulations, host. You have learned the basics of a genin. Ding!!!"

"Ding!!! Congratulations, host, on completing the hidden quest. Your vitality has increased. Ding!!!"

Age: 55/81

'System, my old friend, long time no see.' Seeing that a few more years were added to his max age felt nice. He already could feel a bit more energetic. He even managed to ignore the ringing in his head completely this time. Learning that Body Flicker's jutsu was quite easy to perform, probably because of his perfect chakra control, already got Hiruzen in a good mood.

The question was, now what? This question stopped Hiruzen in his celebratory mood and made him melancholy. The winter was gone, and the spring was getting on, too. New students started to learn in the academy as the old ones graduated and entered the service as a genin. He was here at the graduation and the entrance.

He gave his speeches, looking at the children who had and who would learn to be soldiers. He spoke words of encouragement and told them to give their all in the new stage of their lives. But Hiruzen had a hard time believing those words. He really wished that children would learn to use chakra to discover new things, to create and protect rather than to kill and destroy.

It was naïve, Hiruzen knew that. He couldn't change the world and make it all flowers and rainbows where no one got hurt and nobody had to hurt others. That kind of world was only possible in dreams. And in an illusion that would trap the world and enslave everyone. After living in this world for more than half a year, Hiruzen was starting to understand Madara's goals, but he still didn't see himself ever agreeing to them.

That kind of world was pointless to him. Like all illusions, it was a lie. The world isn't perfect, and it will never be, but it doesn't have to be. Imagining that perfect world, Hiruzen could only think that it would be the end of the world. With nobody trying to do better, to change the world, and to strive to improve things, the world and people would become still. There would be no motivation and really no reason for humanity itself.

"Yep, I am old, and now I have become a philosopher, too, great."

He shouldn't be thinking about such stuff since he barely understands this world to begin with. He should be thinking about girls and how to have fun and relax. But he was Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage; the best he could do was to submerge himself in a hot bath and read Jiraiya's erotic books. Damn, they were good. Hiruzen was so jealous of Jiraiya, knowing that even if it was half of what he had written, he had experienced it himself.

Why couldn't he be reborn as Jiraiya? He wanted to have adventures, meet women, and fall in love. But he has to be satisfied with working for at least ten hours a day, training the rest of the day to defend himself when people come to kill him, and thinking about how to not fuck this already fucked up world. Now, Hiruzen could understand why the real one liked smoking and reading Jiraiya's erotic books.

…

"How was it? How was it?"

"Hmm?" Hiruzen slowly and casually turned to Jiraiya, who acted like a child trying to get his dad's attention. "How was what?"

"The book!" Jiraiya screamed as he put his hands on Hiruzen's desk. "How was my book? Have you finished it? Surely, it was enough time for you to finish it."

"Oh, that," Hiruzen didn't want to admit, but he couldn't hide the truth from Jiraiya. "It was vulgar and inappropriate. But I could sense your passion and the hard work you put into it. Still, there is only one thing I will say to the regards of your writing. If you ever leave on a cliffhanger again, I will break your legs, even spine, and make you write the continuation before my eyes."

"Ah, sorry?" Jiraiya slowly backed away from Hiruzen.

"I know how hard it might be to write a book, and you still need to publish this one," Hiruzen calmly said, but his eyes seemed unhinged. "So, I will give six months to write the sequel."

"And if I don't?" Jiraiya dared to ask.

"Do you really want to find out?"

"It will be done!"

Jiraiya escaped the office for some reason, like he was scared of Hiruzen or something. Well, Jiraiya was always a weird guy and hard to understand. Hopefully the sequel will be good, or he will never forgive Jiraiya for leaving the story for the heroine rejecting the male lead's proposal to marriage even though she is pregnant. What was she thinking? Why did she suddenly reject him? So many questions were left unanswered, and Hiruzen had to know.

"Uh, Hokage-sama," Kakashi looked a bit disturbed, standing in the corner. Hiruzen always forgets he is here, like a shadow. "Is the book that good?"

"Take a look at it yourself," Hiruzen handed Kakashi the manuscript.

Maybe he will like it and think of getting a girlfriend or something. Kakashi was at the age where he should have had crushes and so on. Hiruzen didn't even realize that he started to care for Kakashi and his future truly. But at some point, Kakashi became an important person to him, and he felt bad thinking about how miserable Kakashi could be.

…

Watching Asuma spar with one of the more experienced Jonin made Hiruzen a bit jealous. They moved incredibly fast, and their action was precise and calculated to minute details. To Hiruzen, they were inhuman, and somehow, he had to be stronger than them. He just couldn't imagine himself reaching that level of skill on his own.

"What do you think?" Shikaku Nara asked as Asuma's fight continued. "He has mastered quite a few jutsu and using them expertly. He is calm and can handle himself at a disadvantage."

"It is up to you to promote him or not," Hiruzen replied, as he didn't have even the slightest idea what he should say. "I will not interfere with your decision."

"He is too young," Shikaku said. "This thinking is too inexperienced. His theory tests answers are textbook, rarely working in real situations. He has strength, but I can't promote him with a clear conscience."

"Does your decision have to do anything with me?" Hiruzen asked.

"No, it is due to my observations and deduction."

"Then I trust your decision."

Hiruzen couldn't comment; to him, Asuma looked strong enough as he was holding on well against a shinobi twice his age and three times more years of experience. But it was just a fight, and a Jonin is supposed to be something more. Hiruzen didn't know much about it, but he trusted Shikaku's opinion since he was the Commander of the Jonin and knew what was best.

…

Kakashi was glad that he was wearing a mask to cover everything below his eyes; otherwise, he would have shown his bright red face to Yamato. Kakashi liked Jiraiya's first book, especially since his sensei took a lot of inspiration from it and never stopped talking about it. Kakashi, who wasn't too keen on reading fiction, found it interesting, but the new book from Jiraiya was something else.

Since Hokage was busy observing Asuma's Jonin exam, Kakashi volunteered to look after Yamato and help him train. Since Yamato didn't need much help, Kakashi started to read the manuscript. As Hokage has said, it was vulgar and inappropriate yet extremely captivating. He never thought that a woman and man could do such things with each other. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't stop imagining it.

"Kakashi-senpai!" Kakashi didn't even realize that Yamata was yelling out for him as he was absorbed in the book.

"What is it?" Kakashi made sure not to break his voice as he replied.

"I am stuck."

Kakashi looked at Yamato, who was stuck between branches, entangled by them. He sighed as he realized that Yamato was using that jutsu again. Hiruzen had warned them that nobody was to discover Yamato's abilities and even forbade Yamato from practicing them if there was even the smallest chance anyone could see him using them.

But Yamato was curious and hard-working. Kakashi knew that Yamato wanted to learn and impress the Hokage. So, he would try to learn how to control his unique abilities every chance he got. Kakashi guessed Yamato didn't break the promise since it was only him and Yamato here. So, Kakashi could only cut him down from the tree and let him fall to the ground on his back.

"It is already late, let's return."

"What are you reading?" Yamato quickly got up from the ground and followed Kakashi, looking over his shoulder to see what Kakashi was reading. "Why is she sucking nuts and not eating them?"

"They different kinds of nuts!" Kakashi quickly closed the book and hid it inside his shirt. "Don't ask about it. You don't need to know."

That was close. For someone who only learned how to read a while ago, Yamato was quite a fast reader. Hokage would never forgive Kakashi if he showed Yamato what was written in that book. Nobody could know what was written in it, especially since Kakashi liked it. It would destroy him, and he would be known as a pervert for the rest of his life.

"Oh, Asuma!" It was a good thing that Yamato was easily distracted.

"Yamato, Kakashi," Asuma nodded in their direction with a forced smile.

"You failed," Kakashi concluded.

"Am I that obvious?" Asuma asked as he lowered his head and started to draw circles on the ground. "What am I supposed to do now? Ahh! I am so frustrated."

"You can try again another time," Kakashi said.

At the same time, Yamato went up to Asuma and patted his head like Hokage would do to Yamato when he failed something and got frustrated. Kakashi found it cute, so he didn't stop Yamato.

"Oi, stop it," Asuma said, getting freaked out by Yamato's actions. But after seeing that, Yamato became sad because Asuma pushed him away. Asuma let Yamato do his thing. "I just can't wait any longer. I wanted to do it today. But I guess I am just a failure and will die alone."

"What?" Kakashi couldn't understand the last bit of what Asuma was talking about.

"Ahh! I was going to use the excuse of celebrating my promotions to ask Kurenai out. I had everything planned out, but now I can't do it. And by the time I get another chance, someone else might ask Kurenai first, and then I will have to watch them be together and all lovey-dovey all over the place. What do I do? Kakashi?"

"Don't talk to me anymore," Kakashi turned away from Asuma in disgust.

"Wait, it can't be," Asuma started to conclude all the wrong things. "I won't let you get to Kurenai, Kakashi. I won't let you corrupt Kurenai. Even if I have to fight you."

"You are an idiot," Kakashi walked past Asuma and took extremely confused Yamato with him.

"Is that what Kurenai sees me as?" Asuma fell to the ground. "Just an idiot. Ahh! I should just give up and accept that I will never be good enough and will die alone."

Kakashi didn't tell Asuma that Kurenai was hiding behind a tree next to them. Both of them were idiots who were too cowardly to tell each other their feelings. Kakashi liked the romance in Jiraiya's book better. It was more mature and made more sense. And it had nothing to do with that there were graphic depictions of that love.

"Kakashi," They were stopped by Anko, who wore a Snake ANBU mask. "Hokage needs to see you right now. We have a mission."

If the Hokage had sent someone to summon Kakashi rather than wait for him to return, it meant it was urgent. It would be the first time since the Nine-tails attack that Kakashi would be given a mission, which made it even more important. So, Kakashi didn't waste time and returned to the Hokage office with Anko as quickly as possible.