Whether You Call Me a Guardian Dragon or Not, I’m Going to Sleep

Chapter 23



Chapter: 23

It’s said that humans have three basic desires: appetite, the need for sleep, and sexual desire.

Ah, but of course, that’s complete nonsense! I looked it up, and there was absolutely no academic or scientific basis for this claim at all.

Anyway, the fact that such a misconception could even exist shows just how important appetite is for humans.

I mean, it’s pretty obvious—if you don’t eat, you starve and die.

So, eating is an essential action that must be performed for a living being’s survival, making it something that can’t be neglected.

Now, if you were to give delicious grilled meat to primitive humans, who had only ever eaten raw meat and fruits, what do you think would happen?

“Kkiik! Kkik!”

“Kyag! Kyag! Kyaaak!”

The answer to this question was unfolding among the group of humans.

Well, after tasting grilled meat for the first time, they would probably just dance around the fire like that.

I’m not sure if you’d call that dancing, but I suppose it’s the same in terms of expressing joy.

Their hands, spinning around the campfire like they’ve got ants in their pants, were holding pieces of meat on sticks with steam rising off them.

Seeing them so happy makes me feel good. Watching this, I think it was worth the trouble to teach them how to make fire.

So, today I’ve prepared another gift! Ta-da!

At first glance, it just looks like a plain white rock! But this rock is definitely not an ordinary rock!

It’s…!

Ahem, getting a bit too excited there. Let’s calm down for a bit.

While wandering around here and there in search of the vanished Erebus, I stumbled upon a place that used to be underwater but is now land. Out of curiosity, I found an interesting rock.

A faintly pink-tinged white rock emerging from a barren land where grass barely grows.

Is it some kind of gem? As I was investigating, I noticed a few herbivores passing by and licking the rock every now and then.

Yes, it was rock salt.

Hmm. I wondered, could it be? I was a bit surprised to find it actually existed, considering this place was definitely the sea hundreds of years ago but now looks like land.

I’m not sure if the land rose or if the sea level dropped…

Maybe the earth spirits are moving underground and causing the terrain to change? Well, whatever, a gift is a gift.

Thanks to that, I was able to acquire such a treasure. Sure, I could have made it with magic, but I wanted to give something found in nature.

If I hand over this rock salt, wouldn’t humans eventually go looking for it themselves? I can’t keep giving them gifts forever.

Holding the white lump of rock salt in my hand, I approached the group of humans.

“How have you all been?”

“Kkiig? Kig! Kiiig!”

When they saw me, the primitive folks began bouncing around with excitement. They seem to remember that I taught them how to start a fire, giving me quite a warm welcome.

“Whoa! Ooooh!! Kyaa! Ooo!”

“I really wish you’d learn some language.”

Who knows how long it’ll take, but how long do I have to deal with their grunting? Hmm…

I hope these guys don’t end up inventing their own language that I wouldn’t understand!

“Kiik! Kou! Kiie!”

“Ah, thank you!”

As I got closer, one of the primitive people tending the campfire handed me a piece of meat they were grilling on a stick, as if proudly showing off their prowess in fire usage.

Hmm. That’s quite commendable, even if they might not have much food for themselves.

Such a kind soul deserves a gift.

I levitated the rock salt with magic, pinched a bit off with my thumb and index finger, crushed it into a fine powder, and lightly sprinkled it over the meat.

Can’t put too much on, or it’ll be too salty. Just a little sprinkle.

The white powder dusting the meat quickly dissolved and soaked into the juicy goodness.

Hmm. Perfect. This should do.

Ideally, I should have sprinkled it before grilling… But hey, you can’t win them all!

After inspecting the now-salted meat, I handed it back to the guy who gave it to me.

“Kkiig?”

“Give it a try.”

“Ki…”

Hmm. I wonder when they’ll finally learn how to speak properly? I’d like to have a real conversation.

Oh wait. Isn’t there a way to do this with magic? Um… Translation magic?

Nah, that wouldn’t work since there’s no real language to translate. Maybe a spell that conveys intentions to others?

Hmm, this could be worth looking into.

“Kuuu…”

The primitive dude who received the salted meat inspected it, then took a big juicy bite.

“Kiik?!”

His face turned into one of pure shock!

Hmm, even though his face is covered in fur, I can still see his expression. Quite amazing.

“Uggg! Kyaaa! Wooaaak!”

The primitive with the salted meat began jumping up and down while tearing into it. Watching him eat with such delight, other primitive folks started to gather around too.

The other primitives looked at the suddenly ecstatic guy like he was out of his mind. Honestly, I would think someone acting like that next to me was a bit crazy too.

I smiled at the other primitives.

Great! It looks like these guys also enjoy the salted meat. Maybe I should do something more.

I lifted a nearby rock with magic, then used my spell to turn it into a huge chunk of meat.

Then, using a magical blade, I sliced it to a nice thickness, crushed some more rock salt into powder, and perfectly sprinkled it over all the meat.

Finally, I unleashed a magical flame. A massive fire ignited, cooking the meat in the blink of an eye! The enticing aroma mixed with dripping juices made even me, someone who doesn’t need to eat, feel a pang of hunger.

“Kyaaak! Wooaaak!!”

“Kik! Kiiik!”

The primitive folks cheered, still without any proper language. In that electric atmosphere, I began distributing the neatly cut pieces of meat to the eager crowd around me.

Here you go, little humans. This is what delicious tastes like.

Well, seeing them enjoy it makes me a little happy too!

So, I’ve turned visiting the human group to give out gifts into my regular routine.

———

What’s the favorite color of humans?

Red, blue, green, etc. Among the countless colors in this world, it is said that humans’ top choice is silver.

Is it because silver coins are the most commonly used currency in the Empire?

Or is it because the Empire’s guardian dragon has shimmering silver scales?

According to Dr. Irene M. Pleione, a scholar at the Empire Academy, humans’ preference for silver is an instinctive phenomenon.

Dr. Irene: After conducting experiments with hundreds of children, I found that when offered two identical toys—one painted gold and the other silver—most kids instinctively picked up the silver toy. This means they prefer silver even before they’ve socialized.

Reporter: Is this reaction limited to just young children?

Dr. Irene: No, there are slight variations depending on age and species, but studies show that over 80% of all age groups prefer silver.

Reporter: What do you think causes this phenomenon?

Dr. Irene: The academic community defines this as an instinctual preference and is trying to pinpoint a cause. Some argue it’s because silver coins were the primary currency even before the Empire was founded. However, that doesn’t explain why even non-socialized children prefer silver.

Reporter: The most notable silver representation is, of course, the Empire’s guardian dragon. Could this phenomenon be attributed to it?

Dr. Irene: That’s a possibility, but it seems unlikely…. Oops, my bad. Please edit that part out.

Reporter: Got it.

Dr. Irene: I think it’s unlikely that the guardian dragon, who stays holed up in its lair without any external activity, is behind this phenomenon.

Reporter: So then, what could the cause be?

Dr. Irene: I’ve come up with one hypothesis. Perhaps humans’ instinctual preference for silver stems from the fact that the existence of silver brought significant benefits to their ancestors.

Reporter: Are you suggesting that includes the guardian dragon?

Dr. Irene: It’s unlikely that it would get involved in such affairs. Ah, please edit out that part as well.

Reporter: Understood. If not the guardian dragon, then who could it be?

Dr. Irene: I’ve hypothesized that they could be extraterrestrial beings from beyond this world. Aliens with silver skin! I call them Grey aliens, who might have bestowed various gifts upon humanity’s ancestors…

This year’s trending color is silver! If you want to dye your hair a sparkling silver like a silver coin, this product is for you!!!

(The article continues with a promotion for hair dye.)

— An article published in the Empire’s entertainment magazine.

It seems a certain scholar from the Empire Academy was quite furious after reading this article.



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