When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

I scowled at Little Spring. His sad and betrayed expression made me think I’d hurt him by keeping this a secret from him.

“I need to think,” he said. Before I could say anything, he vanished into his space.

The hell?! Running away?

What kind of cliche bullshit was this?! Had we changed genres again?

He couldn’t go yet! Now that he’d figured things out, there were a shit ton of things we had to discuss. Also, it would be bad to let the brat stew in the sins of someone else. I had to explain why I hadn’t let him know. Tell him that it was to both protect myself and make it so he wouldn’t have to feel unnecessary guilt. Because I’d seen guilt give disciples inner demons that crippled their growth.

Actually, inner demons were an interesting concept. In this Xianxia universe, they started as fears and mental issues that prevented cultivators from growing — similar to how a professional athlete might suddenly be unable to perform for a psychological reason. Eventually, those inner demons would turn into literal mental demons, sometimes even taking physical form if the cultivator had reached a high enough realm.

It was something I didn’t think a child should have to go through. It was also something I didn’t want to go through.

I followed Little Spring into the space and appeared on my bed.

That wasn't where I wanted to go.

When I tried to open my door, it wouldn’t budge, even using my body-cultivation-enhanced muscles. Teleporting again only landed my ass back where I started.

Fuck. That brat had restricted my movements to my room! How? Was this another facet of the space he’d recently discovered, like him being able to exit where I was?

When sent a telepathic message, it didn’t go through. The jerk had put up a damn mental barrier! I hadn’t even taught him that yet.

As I glared at the unbudging door, the golden dragon poked its head into my room and puffed an imaginary flame at me. I waved it away.

“What do you want?”

“Just here to gloat.” It held up a spiritual energy scoreboard that had me being ten points behind. Ten!

“Hey! The kid only earned four extra points, at most!”

It arrogantly waved its little claw at me, then vanished into the opposite wall.

Little Spring’s puppy suddenly appeared in my room. We stared at each other for a moment, then Xiao Bai wagged his fluffy tail happily and rubbed up against me.

Yeah, yeah. I could see he wanted pets.

Seriously, only mundane animals liked me.

After using a cleaning technique on him, his coat became even fluffier, making the puppy look like a round cotton ball with blue eyes. I ran my hand down his back, flattening his fur. Since it was just the two of us, I picked him up and stared into his cheerful face. “Are you actually a dragon or a white tiger? If not that, then a black tortoise or a vermillion bird?” I leaned close to his nose and narrowed my eyes at it. “Or maybe you’re a baby luck dragon. Should I call you Falkor?”

“Arf!”

The puppy’s wet tongue left a trail of slobber across my nose. Ew.

I gently set him down and cleaned myself.

The kid must have sent him here. Did he think the puppy would keep me company while he sorted through his thoughts or something?

When I sat down, the dog crawled into my lap. Ugh. His fur was going to get everywhere. Whatever.

Stroking his soft head seemed to lessen my frustrations about being unable to have a proper fucking conversation, and focus my mind on the issues I needed to face by myself.

Dying during my immortal ascension tribulation apparently left a mark on my once-iron subconscious. I had ignored it, as if it didn’t exist at all, allowing it to fester. My delays and procrastination only made it worse. Hearing stories of people who failed and seeing those scorch marks on the floor of Little Black’s favorite cave only exacerbated the issue.

But now, I had fully admitted and recognized my fear. A powerful first step towards correcting my mental state that came with consequences. If I didn’t take care of this within the next several hours, it might actually become an inner demon that would devastate my growth.

I was not letting that fucking happen.

Of course, with the time I had left, I had to quickly get my affairs in order. Maybe the kid would be ready to talk after I’d finished.

I pulled a bucket full of jade slips out of my ring. Over the past year, I’d recorded information on them whenever I could. Now it was time to sort them into inheritances while… petting the puppy. This wouldn’t take long.

Let’s see. To Sect Leader Peerless Resolve, he’d need the intelligence I had on where the sect defenses were lacking. Places where the demonic sect attacked us successfully in my last life. Also, a warning to always be on Little Spring’s side.

After I carved the Sect Leader’s name into the jade, I set the two slips on my table. Then I created a spiritual seal that would destroy the information if I wasn’t dead, and someone with a spiritual signature that didn’t match the sect leader tried to access it. It was a simple and effective security only grandmasters could bypass.

Next, to Salamander, I left a series of hints that would lead him down the path he wished he’d gone down in my past life. This should be enough to repay him for all that he did for me.

To Senior Auspicious Paifeng, I left a note of apology for being unable to fulfill my promise. Of course, I couldn’t allow it to go completely unfulfilled since it was a matter of the sect’s security, so I left instructions for the spiritual item forgers. They might be able to upgrade him. Might.

To Ghosty McGhostFace, who was still recovering from losing most of his energy, I gave instructions on how to nourish his soul and the list of items that could help create his new body.

To my martial grand nephew, Unyielding Firestorm, I left the rare spiritual fruit I was given after curing the vine plague. It wasn’t like I’d need it if I failed.

Then to Clear Eyes Mad Tongue, that too observant motherfucker, I just left a pile of protective talismans and ten bottles of Lin’s Healing Dan. Also, the spirit stones I owed him.

Since that seemed lacking, I added a note telling him that if he kept running his damn mouth off, he’d be next.

Just thinking of his face metaphorically covered in black lines while reading that... Muahahaha!

I continued down the list I’d made for myself. Soon, only one person remained. My junior martial brother, both in this life and my last.

With a sense of finality, I set down the copy of his cultivation technique that I created before the Sect Trials.

Next, a series of jade clacked onto the table as I placed all the other manuals I’d made. There were ones on sword techniques, inner energy spells, alchemy, and item forging.

I also left instructions to never make Fairy Garlic any chef tools. Bahahaha!

The kid would inherit everything else of mine, so making a detailed list wasn’t really worth my time.

Since he still wasn’t done thinking, I left a note explaining why I kept him in the dark and that, if anything happened to me, he should go learn from Salamander. And not only how to wield a sword, either. If he could pick up Salamander’s philosophy, he could become both a decent person and a badass cultivator.

Huh. There was something I was forgetting.

I pulled out my hairpin and ran my hand along the white jade surface.

The blade I borrowed. It wasn’t the best I had ever used but, for a Qi Cultivator like me, it was perfect. It had been with me for so long that I felt like it belonged to me. But, I’d never, not for one moment, forgotten that it was the brat’s. If things went poorly, I guessed that I would be returning it soon.

I brushed back the fluffiness that covered the good puppy’s blue eyes.

“The thing is, Xiao Bai... I’m terrified I’ll die in this tribulation. But, what I’m not, is scared to face my fears. Only by facing them can I overcome death and reach immortality.”

He tilted his head and swiveled a pointy ear toward me.

I looked up at the mini noodle dragon sticking its head into the room.

“Do me a favor. Tell your master... I’ll be back.”

“Fine.” He blew out a puff of smoke.

“And take the puppy with you!”

He waved his little claw. Both he and Xiao Bai vanished.

Running away wouldn’t solve anything for that brat or myself.

After changing into my armor, it was time to fuckin’ go.

***

On my way to the location I’d prepared, there were two places I needed to stop. The first was the Sect Leader’s Hall. While trying to find Peerless Resolve, I ran into Early Rise Swift Brush.

“If you’re here for the sect leader, he’s checking on each of the peak masters.”

Something he rarely did. During his visits to them, he would keep a mental barrier up, preventing secret sound transmissions so he could focus on each master individually. I guessed it was just my bad timing.

“Can you pass on the message that I’m going through my tribulation?”

He looked excited. “Yes, Great Martial Aunt! I’m sure you’ll do well!”

This guy was the inheritor of my strangest and most unexpected legacy. One that appeared to grow on its own. Since I didn’t prepare an inheritance for him, I felt that I couldn’t leave without at least saying something.

I straightened my spine and clasped my hands so I looked like the little master I was. “Even if I’m not here, continue cultivating the Dao of Paperwork. It suits you. You may even develop it into a black rank cultivation technique.”

He seemed to understand the deep meaning of my words because his eyes widened and he said, “G-great Martial Aunt! Don’t say that. You’ve been working so hard on your preparations, you should have one of the easiest tribulations in the whole sect.”

I smirked. Well, he didn’t know. “Just remember to pass my message along.”

Even if it didn’t reach my nephew, he’d feel it once my tribulation started.

***

Next, I visited Salamander’s courtyard to collect the pagoda. One of his students let me know he was in closed-door cultivation. Apparently, my forcing him to learn my style had given him a massive epiphany. I even overheard several people talking about how brilliant he was to have two so close together.

As expected of my mentor.

Unfortunately for me, his epiphany had occurred suddenly and he forgot to leave the pagoda with someone who could give it to me. Then again, I was about a week early thanks to Shadow Gopher. He wouldn’t have known I’d need it now.

Since my fear was becoming a heart demon, I had to take care of it immediately. No waiting. No more putting it off, even if it meant leaving the pagoda behind.

But that wasn’t entirely bad. If I couldn’t borrow it now, I could use it for my next tribulation. It would be even more helpful then. Muahahaha!

***

I’d originally looked at several locations, but there was only one place I felt comfortable enough to call down my tribulation. The valley between what would be my peak — Righteous Defense Peak — and my past-life’s home, Mystical Bamboo Peak.

A grassy field stretched on for miles, only broken by a foothill-sized boulder that stood out like a zit on an immortal’s face.

Over the past few months, I’d prepared this field for my tribulation. Since this valley lacked an immortal cave, I had carved a small one out of the boulder where I could retreat to and complete my foundation. I even jury-rigged a door that slid up or down when I triggered the switch with my spiritual energy. When shut, it blended into the stone completely.

Using the Golden Walnut flags I’d prepared, I quickly threw each out to create my Lin’s Awesome Lightning Defensive formation. Once activated, it would produce a mystical faraday cage that would protect me from heavenly lightning strikes. Of course, it could only take so many since it sucked up my spirit stones like a damn vacuum.

I’d have to use it only towards the end of my tribulation during the worst attacks. It made me glad I grabbed all that cash from Little Black.

Of course, just one formation wasn’t enough. I continued to throw out flags creating four defensive formations that circled the big faraday cage. These would only slightly help against lightning. Mostly I included them since my paranoid ass had read too many Xianxia where the main character had to deal with a tribulation while being attacked. While it was unlikely, I did have enemies, so I wasn’t taking any chances.

Of course, activating them would cost spirit stones, so I’d try not to use them. If I was lucky, I could get my stones back after this, preventing me from being completely broke. Whatever. Money could only be enjoyed by the living.

I needed to do one last thing.

With a step, I briefly entered and exited the space. Unfortunately, the brat still hadn’t lifted my restriction.

Once I made it out of this, I’d give him such a long lecture on how to talk through issues. Or maybe he’d have to learn that by himself...

I looked up at the clear sky. White clouds drifted by as the wind tickled the hair on the back of my neck. The sun’s rays seemed to make the green valley sparkle.

What a beautiful day to battle myself and the heavens. Alone.

Despite all the good friends and juniors I’ve met along the way in the end, cultivators must walk their path by themselves. Even ones like me, from another world and another time.

While I was terrified of this tribulation, I’d face it no matter what. After all, having an indomitable will wasn’t about never being afraid. No. It was about never allowing those fears to have control over you.

While holding my sword like a gangster, I lifted my fist up to the heavens.

Then, grinning, I extended my middle finger to give it a big, ‘fuck you.’

Power gathered overhead. Wind blew. The air smelled of petrichor as if the earth opened up to praise the will of the heavens descending. Humidity increased and droplets formed on my sword from a sudden chill.

Storm clouds took shape above me, only to spiral out. Flashes of lightning emphasized the clouds’ coil as they expanded for several miles. By the time they stopped, it was large enough to devastate this whole grassy valley... and me.

From what I remembered from my past-past life, the Xianxia authors never went into detail when describing how facing a tribulation actually felt. Then again, I even had trouble doing justice to the hair-raising energy bomb gathering to fall on my head.

Being locked in this little Qi Condensation body while facing a tribulation this far beyond my current realm was like a fucked up nightmare.

I hated being weak. I hated being scared and watching my hands shake. It was time to change things.

Smiling wider, I waved my stiff middle finger back and forth at the tribulation.

A murderous intent radiated from its increased flashes. Guess I must have pissed it off.

“Muahahaha! Let’s go, motherfucker!”