When Immortal Ascension Fails Time Travel to Try Again

Even as impressive as I was, omniscience was not part of my skill set. “What am I missing?”

“The factions in our Indomitable Will sect aren’t vegetarians, but they wouldn’t cheat so blatantly. Especially, with Little Verdant Bamboo’s inheritance on the line.”

He obviously didn’t know her like I did, but if it wasn’t her or another faction of the sect... It would have to be someone who would want a potential threat — or someone connected to Immortal Zhenren — dead.

Using my knowledge of the future, I connected the dots.

“Has the sect been infiltrated by demonic cultivators?”

He looked grim. “I can’t say that it’s impossible. After their leader succeeded in temporarily poisoning me, I considered that they might become quiet while they worked on whatever plans they had. But, they could be speeding up those plans instead.”

The timeline I remembered was deviating significantly if the demonic cultivators were already this active. It made me wonder if this had anything to do with the speed increase of Little Spring’s cultivation.

If this were the case then perhaps those special inheritance dimensions would open up sooner as well. Unfortunately, I didn’t think the original plot would affect the world that much. I also wasn’t that lucky.

My friend paused for a moment. Then his eyes focused on me. “Little Lin, I’d like to accept you into the sect now, regardless of Little Verdant Bamboo’s wishes... Unfortunately, I have to request that you continue with the trial.”

I immediately knew what he had planned. “You’re asking me to play bait while you investigate the causes of tampering. And, hopefully, catch the demonic infiltrators in the act.”

He nodded. “I know this is a difficult thing to ask someone who isn’t even an official disciple.”

“I’ll help.” He paused like he was shocked I’d agreed so easily. “You are going to be my martial nephew, after all.”

It seemed like he was taking a long time to process that, then he nodded. Barely but he still nodded.

My friend was a decent person for an old cultivator.

“Of course, I’ll be in a lot of danger so I’d like to request some compensation.”

“What do you have in mind?”

With a grin, I told him.

***

After our short conversation, my old friend and Unyielding Firestorm left, taking the girl with them.

I was glad that someone competent was finally handling this issue.

Except that I would be in even more danger from this point onwards.

Then I turned to see that between Little Spring, Yang ShanShan (Fatty), and Zhang WeiWei arriving, we’d developed a small crowd.

Little Spring approached, eyebrows creased with worry. I smiled down at him. “Did you win?”

His worry quickly changed to sheepishness. “We both slapped the same statue.”

I smoothed his hair. “It’s good that you didn’t lose.”

I glanced back at Young Master Zhang. He looked a little different, his back was no longer so straight that someone could mistake him for having a stick up his ass.

His face was also a bit more pale. A sheen of cold sweat shimmered on his brow.

Maybe the brat had finally realized how close he’d come to dying back there?

I mean, I had no doubts that the Sect Leader would have eventually killed that soul… however, I also knew that Demon Elder Skin would have melted down our bodies and taken them as his own before my friend even arrived.

Or maybe he was thinking of something else. Honestly, considering the general stupidity of Arrogant Young Masters, there was no telling how those character archetypes really thought.

“Young Master Zhang, judging from where you were originally heading before you started following me... the highest head you believed you could slap was at the peak of Nascent Soul… and the one that I was able to slap was in Immortal Bone Creation. It’s safe to say that I win.” So cough up the treasure kid!

The Young master paled then turned red.

I half expected him to lie like a dumbass minor villain and give the excuse that he followed me over because he was looking for this statue… and since he could no longer try to slap it, obviously we should count this as a tie.

Of course, then Little Spring looked at him and said, “Good. Then he can kneel and apologize!”

What the fuck was this kid trying to start? A domino effect of the clan ending variety?

And now that I thought about it, where the hell did the kid even learn to say something like, ‘kneel down and apologize.’

I sent a brief glare at Yang ShanShan. Was it this guy? The merchant’s son nervously wiped his brow with a handkerchief.

There would be time to get to the bottom of this later. Maybe after the trials.

I turned back to my opponent.

The young master looked determined. Considering that this was a Xianxia, I could imagine that this water for brains was about to run his mouth to attempt to renege on the bet. That was not happening under my watch.

I held up my hand. “I’ll throw the Zhang clan some face. A simple verbal apology and the promised gourd pendant will be fine.”

He still looked reluctant but at least he didn’t seem like he was about to go down fighting.

From my vast experience, I’d found that the trick to getting away with slapping faces, was to make sure I didn't slap them so hard that it required revenge.

Of course, it helped that I also showed so much strength that revenge for such a small slight would be an idiotic thing to do. And idiots who didn’t understand proper risk assessment were begging to be destroyed.

The young master used jerky motions to untie the gourd from his belt. He stared at it while biting his lip.

Honestly, he looked ridiculously young right now, like a kid who was forced to give away their favorite toy. Then his face hardened and he stepped up to me. He casually handed me the gourd.

“I, Young Master Zhang, apologize for my earlier words. They were said in poor taste.”

Wow! Look at this kid. He was acting like a real person for once.

I took the jade pendant and smiled at him. Maybe I had a soft spot for children who could still learn because I said, “I think, that if you continue to reflect on your actions the way you have here, you’ll be able to become an honorable disciple to the Indomitable Will sect and be a credit to your clan.”

He gave me an odd look.

Little Spring pulled on my sleeve.

Then I realized that I was talking like an elder to a kid who was technically 2-3 years older than me.

Well, whatever.

***

After a few more words the Zhang Clan members walked away.

That was when I turned to Little Spring. “Which statue did you get to before you were interrupted?”

“We both slapped one at the beginning of Foundation Establishment.”

I grimaced. “Only that?! I want you to at least reach one in the high Foundation Establishment.”

He swallowed.

“Don’t worry. I’ll teach you how to do it. Normally it costs contribution points to use this area for mental training so now is the time to do it!”

I brought him to a statue that was in mid Foundation Establishment.

He looked nervous.

I briefly glanced behind him at where Yang ShanShan had followed us. The kid looked like he was trying to keep a respectful distance. Whatever, it wasn’t like what I was about to teach would benefit him anyway.

“This will help you get some contribution points for yourself. Trust me, you’ll want to obtain them here while you can.”

He nodded.

I was still excited that, as a Qi Condensation cultivator, I earned 888 points for less than ten minutes of work!

That kind of time to point ratio was impossible to find anywhere else. Hell, even someone in Golden Core would be lucky to earn a tenth of that in the same amount of time.

“So, how did you slap the first head?”

“I knew that I needed to win no matter what, so I used a short burst of Impossible Leap to get to the statue in time. Then I smacked it.”

I crossed my arms and raised a brow at him. “And do you realize why that was a mistake?”

He thought about it.

“How long did it take you to regain your lost energy?”

“Fifteen minutes.” He frowned. “Was it a mistake because using Impossible Leap at the second layer drains all of my energy?”

I nodded. “Very good. There is a reason I didn’t use Consistent Step, Impossible Leap while I fought all those arrows.”

His eyes widened like he finally understood something.

Seriously, I was surprised he hadn’t figured it out until now. Well, he was still a kid. A brilliant kid, but still one nonetheless.

“I’m not saying that there aren’t situations where you should use it during this trial. But, while we’re at the second layer, you need to use it in life and death situations only.”

“But isn’t it okay since I had time to recover after I finish hitting a statue?”

I coughed.

Well, he wasn’t entirely wrong. But I didn’t want him to get into a bad habit. If he was somewhere out in the world and attempted this, it was absolutely possible that someone could attack him while he was recovering his spiritual energy.

“And what if Zhang WeiWei goaded you into another competition before you had time to start meditating?”

“I wouldn’t accept!”

“Even if he insulted me? Because you needlessly started a fight against Young Master Zhang due to an insult that I could have refuted myself.”

He froze and looked sheepish.

I patted his head and smiled. “I appreciate you thinking of me, but I don’t need anyone to defend me like that. Especially if it would put them in danger.” I crossed my arms and raised my chin. “Besides, other people’s opinions and how they see me are low on my priority list. As long as no one takes things so far that it affects my cultivation, why should I bother with their nonsense? Do you understand?”

Little Spring nodded. Then shook his head. “Sister Lin, even if you don’t care, I still do. I want everyone to respect you the way you deserve to be respected.”

Awww. This kid! I’d be sure to give him a big hug later.

I rubbed my nose. “Well, do what you want. Just don’t get yourself killed! I don’t want to have to visit the underworld just so I can give you a lecture.”

He scowled up at me.

I tapped him on his glabella. “Now, There is a way to slap this statue at the level you’re at now. And I’m going to teach it to you.”

“Is it a movement technique?”

I grinned. “No, it’s a sword technique.”

He looked like he didn’t believe me. “The arms are spectral, how can you hurt them with a sword?”

“Who said I was going to hurt them with a sword?”

“You just—“

“Ah, I said it was a sword technique, I never said anything about it being an attack.”

He blinked. “Then what kind of technique is it?”

“A way to move the sword to push yourself backwards faster.”

His eyes grew wide.

When I first learned it myself, I thought it didn’t make much sense, but this was a fantastical world with various strange cultivation methods. The Dao wasn’t always logical. I’d accepted that.

“This is also a good technique to use if you need to temporarily retreat in a way that your opponent won’t expect. It’s called the Unusual Backstep Sword Escape.”

His eyes sparkled. He watched me attentively.

“The first step requires you to jump backward. The next part will need you to be in mid air. I recommend using a slightly strengthened back jump.” I faced away from the statue. “Now, while you’re in mid air, you’re going to want to swing your sword like this.”

Using the fastest speed I could manage, I shot my sword up in a straight line.

Then, at a more normal speed, I swung it down. “And do this part while twisting your body… so you end up with this.”

Since my body cultivation had already strengthened my legs, I merely jumped back. When I jabbed my sword up, not only did my sword pull me backwards faster than I could run forwards, but I also turned perpendicular to the ground.

My following sword swing and the twist of my body, started to turn me to face the ground. While I did that I brought my legs down and threw my open free hand up… which ended up slapping the statue just before its spectral hand reached an inch away from me.

My feet touched the ground... and my momentum carried me forward into the statue. I may have bumped my head against it too. This body just didn’t have enough mass. Whatever.

With my chin raised as if I hadn’t face planted into a demonic statue, I casually walked back. The increased evil aura didn’t even make me break a sweat.

Little Spring’s eyes grew wide.

I grinned maliciously. Honestly, I knew the move looked a little ridiculous (and didn’t make a lot of sense), but when a technique worked, a cultivator used it, or suffered.

“Now you try it.”

I was going to have him practice it on the walkway, but, before I could stop him he jumped backwards toward the statue!

Fuck! There was no way he would be able to do the technique on his first try! He was going to get himself knocked out and missed the next trial.

The kid managed to shoot his sword up properly. His speed increased. Then he started twisting his body.

The statue’s hand zipped forward. It zoomed ever closer.

He wasn’t going to make it!

Slap!

Little Spring’s hand barely touched the statue before the hand touched him. Then, he landed on his feet and used his sword arm to cushion his stop.

As the spectral hand retracted, he happily ran back over to me as if wanting praise. Hell, the demonic aura didn’t seem to effect him at all.

I glared at him.

This fucking little main character was going to take a couple years off my life! But I would have my revenge. Muahahaha.

I cleared my throat. “Good job. Now, let’s move on to the next statue. I also have another technique for you to use for this one. And it’s also a sword technique.”

He looked excited. “Is it another sword movement technique like the last one?”

I grinned, stringing him along for a little bit.

He scowled at me. “Was I right?”

“No!”

“Then what is it?”

“It’s a very special technique. It will change your way of thinking. Are you sure you want to know? Because once you know… you’ll never be the same again.”

He swallowed. Then nodded.

I took out the flying sword that brought us halfway here and handed it to him with a grin.

“It’s a flying sword technique.”

“Wait! We can use tools?!”

I grinned. “Yes, but aren’t you glad I taught you the previous technique?”

“Yes! Thank you, Sister Lin.”

“Make sure you get up to speed first before you attempt a slap.”

He nodded even as he took out a couple spirit stones to power the sword. Once he stood on top of it, he made a few tight circles around me before shooting off and doing a fly-by slap of the high Foundation Establishment statue.

Of course, he didn’t stop there. A whole line of Foundation Establishment statues were begging for a good slap in the face, after all. And this was good mental training.

The kid zoomed down the aisle, his hand connecting with each statue’s cheek, one after another.

He returned with a flushed face and sweat on his brow.

“Pretty satisfying?”

He nodded.

Good. Kids needed fun in their life or they ended up as cranky old geezers with no senses of humor.

“Just don’t try this with any statue at Golden Core or above.”

Of course, that was when Yang ShanShan got up the nerve to approach us. He wore an ingratiating smile.

“Brother Little Spring!”

I eyed the kid.

He coughed a little, then bowed to me. “And Fairy Lin.”

Well, at least he knew when to correct his mistakes.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you used a flying sword to help you touch a statue.”

Seeing where this was going I sighed. “Give him a ride if you want. But don’t give it to him for free. Be sure to extract half his contribution points, or a favor from him in the future. Like making him go on a sect mission with you… or helping you out in other ways. I’ll leave it up to you.”

Little Spring smiled at me, “Yes, Sister Lin!”

Yang ShanShan’s eyes that had been sparkling and pleading with Little Spring dimmed. “Ah, a sect mission sounds a bit dangerous.”