What We Do to Survive

Warm rays of morning sunlight streaming in through the half-closed curtains and the sweet smell of frying dough pulled Leana from the less than restful embrace of fading memories that haunted her dreams. She kicked away the sweat-soaked sheets that had bundled up around her feet and stood up, quickly peeling off the thin linen negligee she had worn to bed. Tossing it aside she, not for the first time, thanked the grace of Miira that had ensured that she would be one of the few graced with the gift of magic.

She closed her eyes and bit her lip, focusing on the intangible energy that swirled inside her chest. The spell took shape slowly, threads carefully arranging into the pattern one of the nurses had shown her in secret. A twinge of guilt ran through her chest, but she suppressed it with ease born of long practice. She knew she wasn’t supposed to practice magic at home, it was dangerous to do without proper supervision, but the utility of this spell saved her so much time and work that she just couldn’t do without.

A minute later, the spell was done and she gently released her tenuous hold on the mana. Feather-light strands of magic brushed along her sticky skin and the evidence of her troubled night vanished in their wake. She sighed softly in relief once the spell was done, opening her eyes to look at her own twisted reflection in the polished glass of the picture frames on her desk.

Without her conscious direction, her fingers drifted to her belly, tracing the faded-white lines that criss crossed her otherwise unblemished skin. She could barely feel them now, not after the expensive treatment Adonia and Lightcastle had helped pay for, but the healer had told her the last remnants of her scars would take years to fade. At least they no longer pulled and ached when she moved, and the most visible marks had all but disappeared. She smiled ruefully as she followed a narrow line that stretched from her belly button to just above one of her nipples. At least Adonia had never minded her scars, even before the treatment.

The smile faded quickly as her thoughts turned to her… girlfriend? Lover? She didn’t really know what to think of her now. Some of the initial anger and rejection had faded, washed away by time and the clear care the noble girl still felt towards her, but it was still so painful to think about. Another bond fractured by her own inadequacies.

“Leana?” her uncle’s voice called from just outside the door, “Are you up sweety? Breakfast is ready!”

She shook herself, realizing that she had been staring at her pale reflections for several minutes longer than she’d meant to. “I’m up, I’m up, sorry!” she called out hurriedly before he could open the door. “I’ll be down in just a minute.”

She didn’t really mind if he saw her naked, he’d seen it all before when they were treating her many injuries in the days after they’d pulled her from the sea. More than that, she knew that, just like her, his tastes were twisted and unnatural. The ‘brothers’ had eyes only for each other, not that she would ever share that secret with anyone. They had done too much for her to repay their love with betrayal. No, she just didn’t want to see the sad, consoling look in his eyes that he got every time he caught her lost in thought and tracing her scars.

“Okay dear. Don’t take too long, the tea is getting cold,” he said after a moment, and she suppressed a sigh of relief when she heard his footsteps retreating down the stairs.

With one parting glance into the warped glass, she hurriedly got dressed, making sure the neckline of her dress was adjusted such that none of her scars were visible. She hated wearing this style, the shallow neck and long skirt was stifling and unflattering, but she didn’t have time to apply the makeup she sometimes used to cover the marks and hated showing them more. It was fine. It wasn’t like she wanted to draw anyone’s attention, anyway. Not today.

She eyed the brush sitting on her bedside table, then decided it could wait until after she’d eaten. Stopping by the door, she took several calming breaths, then cast the same spell as earlier again, but this time targeting her soiled sheets and sleeping dress. It wasn’t a perfect solution, the spell only really dealt with sweat and nothing else, but it meant she didn’t have to wash and hang-dry her bedding nearly as often. Miira bless that wonderful woman.

Breakfast looked and smelled amazing. Erwin was an excellent cook and he’d made some of her favorites again. He always seemed to have a sixth sense for when she was having a particularly bad night. It was hard to have a bad morning when there was a full spread of cheeses, sliced fruits, cured meats, and nuts waiting for her along side a big basket of fried bread.

They all sat down together around the small table in the kitchen and Estin took his turn to lead them in a short prayer to Miira. She followed along dutifully, more out of habit than any real belief. She didn’t know if she could believe in a just, kind god after everything that had happened to her, even if Estin always said she had been saved by the grace of Miira. Still, her uncles believed and there wasn’t much she wouldn’t do to make them happy.

“For ten-thousand moons and ten-thousand more,” they finished all together, and then Leana piled her plate high with food and dug in. That was definitely another benefit of being a mage. She’d heard some of the other wealthy merchant-girls complaining about not being allowed to eat such heavy foods in fear of ruining their figures before marriage, but magic could burn away a lot of heavy fare without trouble.

The thought almost made her laugh as she took another sip of her tea. As a child, she knew her family would never have had such problems. They had good food, but things had certainly been tighter than they were now. More than once she’d heard her mother quietly whispering with Orion’s parents about rising prices and grain shortages. Erwin and Estin may not be nobles, but they were highly skilled craftsmen and merchants. Living with them, she knew she would never go hungry, even if she did not feast every night the way she knew some nobles did.

Soon enough, the bread was gone and she helped Erwin clear away the plates and pack the leftovers into their paper wrappings and into Erwin’s prized enchanted cold-box. Despite its humble appearance, simply another wooden cabinet standing innocently beside the ones holding dishes, it was one of the most costly items inside their home. Not only did it keep food cold without the need for hard-to-get ice, it used magic to further slow the spoiling of food. It, along with the enchanted lock-box hidden behind an enchanted bookshelf, had actually been two of the items her uncles had brought back to Xethis with them during that fateful trip where they’d saved her life from the sea.

“I’m going to go get ready,” she told him once they were done.

He opened his arms and she feigned reluctance as he pulled her into a warm hug. “Will you be back for dinner?” he asked quietly?

“I should be.”

“Do you need anything for lunch?”

“I’ll get something from the dining hall.”

“Good.” He kissed her forehead, then gently pushed her towards the stairs, “Have a nice day at school.”

She nodded and smiled back at him as she hurried back up to her room. She wasn’t running late yet, but she would hate to be late to class. She’d missed almost an entire week in the wake of her… breakup with Adonia and, while her teachers had been mostly understanding, she didn’t want to miss any more of her lessons. She needed all the practice she could get and that meant going to class with their special protective circles.

By the time she arrived at the school, she was out of breath and almost as sweaty as she had been when she woke up. She stopped on the last street before she reached the castle-like complex and ducked into a side alley to quickly cast the same anti-sweat spell as earlier, drying her clothing and face with a single careful casting. Using the spell so close to school always felt very risky, what if someone saw her use it, but going inside looking like an ‘unwashed peasant’ would do her already tattered reputation no favors. Everyone, other students and teachers alike, were already biased enough against merchant class students, she didn’t want to make things worse than they had to be.

She passed through the gate without any issues, exchanging hurried greetings with Fergus, the on-duty guard, before hurrying up the central staircase to get to her first class on time. At least this wasn’t one of the many classes she shared with her former lover, there would only be a few open seats left and she really didn’t want to worry about avoiding Adonia right now. She didn’t even know if she wanted to avoid the kind, witty girl right now.

Her first three classes passed in a blur of lectures, readings, and minor demonstrations. She was very proud that she’d managed to cast all seven of the spells she had attempted today, including the tricky second-circle spells she’d only learned in the last two months of classes. Between lessons, she grabbed a quick bite to eat from the thankfully free dining hall and spent the rest of her time in one of the public libraries trying to find any of the exercises Orion had given her in the available books. As with her previous attempts, she failed.

She hoped Orion would come visit soon. He said he would be busy this weekend but would hopefully come by sometime during the week. It would be good to see him again and she really wanted to try a few of the exercises again but didn’t dare do so without his supervision. Magic was dangerous after all, and if she asked a teacher she would have to explain what she was doing and where she had learned it. She wouldn’t do that to Orion. Teaching people magic without a license was illegal after all, and she seriously doubted he had one. By all rights, Orion wasn’t even supposed to know magic in the first place. Unlike her he’d been born a peasant and it was illegal for peasants to learn magic.

Her fourth class of the day was the one she shared with Adonia. Professor Lightkeeper’s ‘Healing with Light Magic’ had been her favorite class for the first few weeks of the semester and she’d spent all summer looking forward to it, but now she had mixed feelings about it. The teacher loved assigning group projects and, like she often was, she was currently paired with Adonia. That was actually how she’d met Adonia for the first time three years ago; the teacher had paired them together in their very first class and they’d almost immediately struck up a fast friendship. The rest had grown from that first meeting.

She stepped into the large, airy room where the class was held and had to shield her eyes with her hands as she looked around. Rays of brilliant sunlight shone into the room through the large windows set into both the walls and ceiling of the classroom. In several places, glorious rainbows shone on the polished white-marble walls and floor where prisms hung suspended by translucent threads.

Squinting, she frowned briefly when she found Adonia already sitting near the front of the class, an empty chair pulled out beside her in a clear invitation. After a moment of indecision, she crossed the room and sat down in the open seat, opting not to return her former lover’s enthusiastic greeting. It would be silly to sit elsewhere, they were partnered on the current project after all, but she didn’t have to like it

Despite Leana’s silence, Adonia had no trouble talking enough for both of them during the ten minutes they were waiting for the instructor, nor during any of the partnered exercises during the class itself. They were studying a spell near the peak of the second-circle called ‘Invigorating Light’, which was a precursor to the third-circle ‘Hope’s Light’ that they were supposed to learn by the end of the year. It was a tricky spell and the spell matrix had a lot of different pieces that all had to fit together perfectly.

None of her classmates managed to cast the spell when Professor Lightkeeper called them to the front of the room one-by-one to try it, but the special practice enchantments ensured that no one was hurt by the attempts. When it was Leana’s turn, she managed to form almost two-thirds of the needed lines and swirls before her spell matrix collapsed. That was very good for a first attempt and Professor Lightkeeper clapped her on the back and told her to keep studying the diagrams he’d drawn for them.

A tiny, vindictive part of her mind smiled when Adonia didn’t even manage half the spell on her first attempt. That hidden smile vanished quickly when Professor Lightkeeper gave her a second attempt, and then a third, before finally telling her to ‘visit him in his office later if she wanted to keep trying’. She knew for a fact that if she came by his office, he would be much too busy to monitor her practice.

She left the school quickly after that, barely waiting for the bell to stop ringing before she was out of her seat and through the door. She didn’t pause or even look back when she heard Adonia calling after her, weaving through the packed hallway and then ducking into the first available stairway leading down to the grounds. She left the school through the south gate as though she was heading towards the market, then on the first side street turned and headed home. They really did need some groceries, but she just… wasn’t feeling it today. Estin would take care of it after work, or maybe she would once she’d calmed down a little.

Perhaps if she’d been less lost in thought or even just a bit more careful, she might have noticed that something was off. The shop’s door should have been propped open on such a fine autumn day, and an unfamiliar wagon was standing unattended just outside the building. Perhaps if she’d let Adonia with her constant accompaniment of bodyguards walk her home as she had once often done, things might have ended up differently. Maybe if she’d stayed at the school for another hour, spent some time reviewing in an empty classroom or visiting one of the less biased instructors in their offices, someone else might have noticed something. Unfortunately for her, none of that happened.

The inside of the shop was in shambles, stands of fine leather-work knocked onto the ground and piles of products scattered across the well-worn floors. The front counter was a smoldering heap of kindling, lacquered wood reduced to rubble. Leana’s eyes widened as she saw a familiar body sprawled across the ground, blood oozing slowly from a cut right above her beloved uncle’s eye. His face and arms were a mess of bruises, and there were scorch marks on his leather jacket.

Leana began to rush forward when the door slammed heavily behind her and the bar fell loudly into place. She spun around, hands rising in a futile gesture to protect herself, but it was far too late for that. A massive fist slammed into her face, sending her sprawling on the floor. Her head spun and she looked up and up until she met the eyes of a hulking giant of a man who barely fit inside the shop without having to stoop. There was a heavy club slung over his shoulder and she could see blood splattered across the dark wood.

“This her?” he rumbled.

“Looks like it,” a smooth, venomous voice replied.

“Even prettier than in the picture,” a reedy voice chimed in. “This will be fun.”

“Definitely,” the second voice said. He sounded like he was so far away, his voice almost echoing in her ears. “Still, work comes first. Buzz, the message.”

The hulking man stepped forward, holding his massive club one handed as the other went up to scratch the stubble on his cheek. “Message? Oh, right, the message.”

The burly man reached down and grabbed Leana by the hair, pulling her up into a rough sitting position. She whimpered loudly, the sound coming out more as a gurgle through her blood-fill mouth. “Pwes,” she begged, “Nauo. Nauo!”

He cleared his throat loudly, looking back and forth between the prone girl and the two bloody men lying sprawled against the walls of their shop. “Right, message. This is what dumb whore like you gets for ugh… for…” He scratched his cheek again. “Help me out boss?”

The leader of the trio massaged his forehead with two fingers. “It’s ‘for trying to reach above her station’, Buzz. We went over this.”

“Right, yeah. Thanks boss.” He turned back to Leana, who was still dangling from his other hand. He coughed loudly, then pounded his chest with his club once and cleared his throat. “This is what a dumb whore like you gets for trying to reach above your station.”

He looked back at the slender man standing behind him. “That it?”

“Yeah Buzz. You got it.”

“Good. Now, where were we…” The club rose high in the air, then came crashing down. Bone shattered and muffled groans became agonized shrieks. “Now don’t be going anywhere, girly. We just getting started!”