Weeaboo's Unfortunate Isekai: The Necromancer's Gacha

I leaned back on my throne, fingers steepled, eyes narrowed in thought. It’s a recliner, so the action was smooth and comfortable, if lacking in regal grandeur. My mind was circling things and drawing red lines on my internal conspiracy theorist wall.

It started with the number of summons. I had no idea how many there were in total, but I’d been getting costumes for loads and loads of characters. This suggested a very large pool of characters. On the other hand, I had drawn five Mikas, two Judiths, and two Pomorois. This would tend to suggest a fairly small pool of summons.

This game has been running for a long time. Hell, Day One there was that flier celebrating more than half a millennium of operation. Old games accumulate content.

Granblue Fantasy, across all the games on all the platforms, had north of six hundred characters. Arknights? Between three twenty and three forty, depending on where you lived. Nikke has one hundred and thirty one jiggle physics enriched androids, while Fate Grand Order has north of four hundred servants at your disposal.

So after more than five hundred years? I should be drowning in summons. Dupes should be incredibly rare. But my roster suggested I was drawing from a pretty limited pool. I had an image of these slab-like fake worlds suspended in a vast void, with little fragments of worlds connected by thin threads to several of them.

I imagined some vast malicious being forming demiplanes and stretching the connecting threads through the void. Once that world fragment had been conquered by one of the demiplanes and added to their sky realm? Well. Too bad for the other connected demiplanes. No resources and summons for you. GLHF with your next life, if you get one.

In a universe controlled by necromancers, betting on the afterlife seemed unwise. Each relic site is therefore incredibly precious. And while I can imagine the benefits from farming the same instance dungeons over and over, I’d say the big prize at the end easily outweighed the incidental benefits. The real issue was that if I died, my summons from that world wouldn’t just die temporarily. It would be forever.

I jolted, then whipped around to look at Versai. On the one hand, she wasn’t from the Floating Quarter. On the other hand, that was a piece of her hometown. And Carousel was definitely included in the Floating Quarter. If I died, they wouldn’t respawn to work for someone else.

I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. I wanted to break them out of this endless cycle. And look- I have already started that process. Ready to get that cycle of success going.

“Tower Master?” Versai asked. Alliana looked concerned too. I guess it had been a longer pause than I thought.

“Doing some thinking. Not sure how the pieces fit together yet- not even sure if I’ve found a bit of the edge. Worst of all, I’ve never really liked jigsaw puzzles.” I shook my head, throwing away the metaphor and focusing on problems I can actually do something about.

“You said that I need costumes from you to max out the usefulness of my Six Stars?”

“Yes, but I don’t want to talk about it. Maybe you should look at the lower tier costumes I have already delivered. And while it’s not related, let me just reiterate that I know some things about Hidden Moon Mountain that you will really benefit from knowing. One useless receipt is practically a loss-leader here.”

A loss leader on information she acquired for free and cannot exploit herself. Mmhmm. Followed up with-

“Honestly, I’d triple the price if I didn’t like you. Besides, I agree- I think we should be in this for the long haul.”

There we go. Multiversal collapse be damned, hustlers gonna hustle. God, it was like being back home. I was ‘profoundly moved’ when one of my clients, who clearly overestimated how much I was actually worth, offered to manage my money for Two and Twenty instead of the “industry standard Three and Thirty.” And people wonder why I use chatbots for customer service.

I pulled out the outfit pack for Miyuki and suddenly needed a moment alone. It was, and I mean this respectfully, HNNNNNGGGGGG! She was already an elegant ninja sniper. This outfit? This outfit took her straight to kunoichi from an early nineties ecchi manga.

Nothing explicit, you understand. Nothing vulgar. But her coarse cotton clothes had become fishnet leggings and arm sleeves underneath form fitting but rough textured black silk trousers and an armless vest. She had a face mask, obviously, in more coarse black silk, with a black bandana and the classic tabi and sandals combo. On the back of the vest was a gloriously intricate picture of a diving hawk picked out in crimson thread. Notice I didn’t mention the shirt. That’s because there was no shirt. Under the vest were hints of the legendary chest bandages… and nothing else.

Superb. Simply superb. A real genre classic. For the true nineties aesthetic they would have to make her more top heavy than Barbie but fortunately the designer knew when to stop. There was a little netsuke hanging off her waist in the picture. It looked… rather like a Jizo. Which is interesting, given everything. It had to be a coincidence, right?

Right?

WHISTLING DEATH MIYUKI

A unique costume produced by Cutthroat Clothiers. This outfit was carefully crafted with the finest materials to maximize the austere elegance and refined lethality of Miyuki, the finest archer on Hidden Moon Mountain. It contains numerous secrets. Not only is the subtle Heron and Pike netting charming, it also acts as a shock absorbing material, allowing Miyuki to fire her bow even more powerfully, without risking injury to her forearms. Similarly, the Hawk of Woe provides a subtle, but powerful, refinement to her already superb arrows.

Whistling Arrows are utterly silent until they pierce an enemy. The more enemies pierced by one arrow, the louder and more potent the whistling is and the longer it lasts. The whistling creates a sense of panic in creatures that hear it, causing them to flee. If Miyuki pins a creature with an arrow without killing it, the whistling persists until the creature dies. Naturally, it is affected as well, and will thrash violently trying to escape.

The beauty of Miyuki conceals a dreadful core. Cutthroat Clothiers is proud to create a costume that embodies that duality. After all, none go to Hidden Moon Mountain with clean hands. None live there with kind hearts. And none escape there at all.

I read through the description a couple of times, my eyes widening with each pass. This wasn’t powerful- it was downright diabolical. It transformed the way Miyuki would be used on the battlefield. Depending on how powerful it was and the range of the fear effect, it could even make a big contribution on the Murder Baboon control front. Hell, it could potentially replace some of our barriers and barricades!

Slow them down, shoot them up. Well, we already had a fear buff from the Alpha Skull and the…

The…

I looked over in the corner, where a little ball of light was flashing. The same ball of light that flashes when rewards are waiting for collection. Rewards like, picking something completely at random, a trophy from killing the Murder Baboon alpha. That I had just completely neglected.

How? How was that possible? I forced by brian to turn its focus back onto Alliana, a knowing leer on her face.

“I did say our products are the best.” She adjusted a sleeve that needed no adjustment. “Cutthroat Clothiers is proud to provide Awakened Souls what no one else can- the ability to be more. Weapons upgrades, stone tapes, even the lesser costumes provided by our wannabe-competitors, they all merely enhance what’s already there. Our clothes let you do things you never could before.”

Didn’t she say they had to send experts to retrieve the clothes from the summons’ worlds? But this laid out a manufacturing process. Either marketing was lying, or Alliana was, or both. I smiled back at the Bandit Queen.

“Worth every penny.”

Alliana looked at me curiously, gold earrings flashing. “What’s a penny?”

“Something not relevant.” I thought it over for a minute. A costume that transformed and enhanced the capability of its intended wearer.

“Does one uniform cover multiple Awakened if I have duplicates of them?”

“Alas, dear customer, it does not.” There was a look of mock regret on her face. Which I probably deserved.

I took a quick look at the other costumes.

BRAVE NURSE PAMMY

A unique costume produced by Cutthroat Clothiers. Pammy might seem like an ordinary school girl, but these are no ordinary times! The hat is made from snow thistle down spun carefully into crisp white threads, with rare Dessendorf Carnelian carved for the ornament.

The tasteful dress is cut to allow easy movement of the limbs, while retaining the appropriate reserve for a nurse. After all, even a conscript is a soldier, and must maintain the Imperial dignity. To that end, the Imperial crest has been stitched with only the finest silk over the eye-patch. Continuing the military theme, the epaulet loops add both dimension to her shoulders and a place to display her rank insignia. This also frames her award ribbons on the bodice.

Any awakened healed by Brave Nurse Pammy benefit from the Inspiration buff, temporarily able to ignore damage equivalent to the damage they suffered that was healed by Brave Nurse Pammy. Once that cap is exceeded, they will take damage as normal until healed again.

Pammy has seen the horrors of the battlefield, and the Hell of the medical tents. Pammy has been one of the wounded herself. Pammy has watched her classmates die, their last moments of suffering caught in her eye, as well as the peace they find in death. Nonetheless, she faces forward, and bravely does her best.

“Tower Master?” Versai looked concerned.

“Sometimes I hate being right. I really, really hate being right.” I closed my eyes and breathed out, then picked up a relatively safe option- Judith.

HEART OF THE STREETS- JUDITH

Wait, what? Streets? Wha? This outfit looks exactly like her old outfit, except they gave her a literal blue collared shirt and her pants looked nicer. Same toolbelt, even.

A unique costume produced by Cutthroat Clothiers. Judith will be popping with blue collar flair in her updated outfit. Triple weave Redu canvas is reinforced at the knees and waist for added protection and to add to the lifespan of the trousers. The boots have a safety adamantium cap-toe, Dura-Lug soles formed from vulcanized Yee-Zip Rubber, and naturally the chambray work shirt can resist both high heat sparks from cutting or welding jobs as well as being breathable for the heavy lifting days. And it’s all held together by the Barrington Co. Triple Lock Stitch, for maximum longevity and durability.

All items are machine, magic and hand washable. Wash with like colors in cool water, then line dry. Do not wash under a new moon or allow the water to swirl widdershins for six full revolutions. Do not employ pixies, brownies, house elves or the ghosts of dead servants to launder these items. Manufacturer accepts no liability for accidents or injuries which occur if these instructions are not strictly followed.

NB- As with Judith’s other shirts, this shirt is not armored in the back. Tower Masters are reminded that, while Judith might have been beloved by her family and her community, and is no doubt appreciated by you, this is exactly the sort of behavior that gets you shanked in broad daylight by your best friend's kid who has a drug habit and debts they can’t pay to people they can’t owe on orders from ‘people’ whose names cannot be spoken.

When working with other Worker Class Awakened Souls, Heart of the Streets Judith can sacrifice all but the tiniest shred of her life to let all the workers instantly complete one order’s worth of work. She can only do this once per day, regardless of whether she has been healed or not.

Okay? That seems… underwhelming? It’s supposed to provide a new capability, not enhance what she can do already. I reread the mechanical part of the description a couple of times before it clicked.

“Oh, my God. That has to be one of the most broken, abusable things I have ever seen. And I figured out the Fortify Alchemy loop in Skyrim before it went mainstream.”

“Can’t say I know what that is.” Alliana shrugged. I ignored her for the moment. This was too damn tasty to drop. It was ages before I was willing to put down the costume pack.

I picked up Rakim’s costume pack and saw… a civilian?

DREAMS OF PARADISE- RAKIM

A unique costume produced by Cutthroat Clothiers. Just because the Army won’t let you go doesn’t mean you have to let go of your dreams! Rakim is dreaming big in a stylish pair of marsh linen trousers in Coyote Tan paired with a chic Golden Isles cotton peasant blouse in Old Ivory. The look is finished with a chunky Polo Wood bangle and comfy Aasail and Aasail Cappuccino mules. Because while she might live the rest of her life under perpetual surveillance and constant threat of death, she’s determined to do it comfortably.

Despite its comfort and discreet luxury, this outfit still pairs impressively well with Rakim’s old Army Issue M-121 Carbine. Kept safe in a closet, just in case. Once you know how to kill an entire province with strategically placed earthworks, well, that kind of know-how can make you uncomfortably popular. Be ready for any occasion with Dreams of Paradise Rakim!

Once every two Waves, Dreams of Paradise Rakim can move an amount of material present within her range of the Tower equal to the amount of material she and all Worker Class Awakened controlled by the Tower Master could move in one order, for any distance equivalent to how far they could shift that mass with the tools and equipment available to them, instantly.

My brain went on the fritz for a moment. I held up Pammy and Miyuki’s costume descriptions and compared them to Rakim and Judith. Was there some kind of penalty being applied to pure combat units? Judith was Two Star, but so was Miyuki. The difference shouldn’t be just Star level. Did the developers just… not value anything outside of direct combat, so they made the construction types comparatively OP?

My mind was racing. Judith and Marci both came with a full set of tools, but nothing heavy duty like cranes or bulldozers. Still, they managed to build big-ass walls using ramps and, where necessary, scaffolding. Don’t ask me where the scaffolding came from or where it went, because I don’t know. Had they used pulleys? I can’t remember seeing them do it, but surely they must have. Even the most basic version of…

Wait. Kim had used a pulley, sort of. When she pulled Versai up onto the wall. She had tossed the rope out on one side of the wall, then jumped down the other, using her weight to haul up Versai. That’s basically a pulley. So my Awakened could, at a minimum, make use of available structures and materials to move mass as high as the wall.

Oh. Oh dear. I really don’t think the Devs understand how badly they goofed. Just… sweet baby Josh, did they goof. They probably thought they underpowered Dreams of Paradise Rakim compared to other Four Star Awakened, maybe trying to balance out how versatile she was normally. Except they were really bad at their job. When combined with Heart of the Streets Judith, it was shockingly busted.

Odd how the QA department is always the first to get laid off, ain’t it? Oh well. I guess I would just have to play this game as Todd Howard… err… the Devs intended.

Some of this stuff would need experimentation. But seeing as I just found a quarry, I could (hypothetically) in the middle of a battle, send all my workers to quarry one order’s worth of head sized stones, have them return with the stones, then move the stones the equivalent travel distance from my Tower to the quarry straight up over the battlefield. Because that’s how far they could shift that mass in one turn, even though the stones were now in Rakim’s walking range of the Tower. And I could do it all instantly. So they would be in no danger.

If that didn’t work, I could build insanely tall cranes out of “Watch Towers” that were unreasonably high and had long ropes hanging off the heavily reinforced, round safety railings. So they could lift the rocks up at least several tens of yards.

Rocks fall. Everybody dies.

I mean, it probably wouldn’t be that easy, but DAMN did I want to experiment. Even if you could only move them as far as the workers could travel in the clearing, that was still, what, a couple hundred paces in diameter around the Tower? Assuming it wasn’t teleportation and the stuff actually moved through the air, you could have literally tons of rock sweeping the area around the Tower at God-knows-how-fast. And if it was teleportation…

“Moohoohahahahaha!”

“Tower Master, are you alright? Are you possessed?!” Versai got in my face, looking worried.

“Sorry, sorry, evil laugh was supposed to be on the inside but I accidentally said it out loud. Sorry.” I coughed.

“It’s a normal reaction, though usually people reserve that for Miyuki or some other more… enchanting Awakened.” Alliana chuckled knowingly.

“No, that’s weird. Those people are weird. I wouldn’t do that. I’m not weird.”

“That was a little loud, Tower Master.” Versai frowned.

“What?” I asked, calmly.

“No… never mind.”

“Mmm. Moving swiftly along.” I fished out one of the receipts. No preview pictures, or I might be a bit more torn. Ah well. “Here. I’ll bite. Tell me about Hidden Moon Mountain, and what exactly is hidden there.”

“Well, I don’t know all the secrets, because that would mean someone had conquered it already. But I do know two things- One, you can collect several other Awakened Souls directly from there, without summoning crystals. If you play your cards right.”

Yep. Figured as much after Gradden March.

“Yes? And?”

“And the way you play those cards, at least to start, is to ask the storyteller at the Fragrant Bamboo Inn to tell a ghost story. From there things can shift a bit, but you will have your opportunity.”

“Alright, that’s one thing. And the second?”

“The second thing? The second thing is that if you are besieged by monsters, running to the Old Temple can save your life, at least for a while. A very useful tip, Tower Master. Given how the Mountain keeps eating people.”