We Were Forever

He felt hot all over like…

It was almost like when he was eight and caught dragon-pox, but more… pleasant. There were soft, warm lips kissing his neck making his skin tingle, and the hair on his arms stand on end. He made a soft noise as he felt hands cupping his face and let his own wander over a narrow waist. Teeth caught his bottom lip and he gasped. He could smell tea and honey and chocolate. Then the lips were gone and he felt more empty than he had in his entire life. Until he saw them… those bright, inhuman amber eyes…

Sirius Black jumped awake, panting slightly and covered in a thin layer of sweat. "Fuck."

—-------

Sirius had been having weird dreams like this for weeks, and he had been trying to deny what they were. He decidedly chalked it up to the potion doing strange things to his mind. The typical hormones of a fourteen-year-old boy, mixed with intense magic that was meant to cause extreme changes to the human body and mind, plus all the focus on Remus. 

That was normal, right?

"Have either of you been having weird dreams since we took that potion?" Sirius asked quietly as they followed Mr. and Mrs. Potter through Kings Cross to the platform.

James and Peter glanced at each other and then back at Sirius. "No."

"Why? What kind of weird dreams are you having?" James asked, adjusting his glasses. Sirius was never so happy to see the barrier between platforms nine and ten, and he took the opportunity to run ahead of his friends and cross through to Platform 9 ¾. However, it didn't give him much time to think of an answer, as James and Peter appeared behind him within seconds. They said their goodbyes to James' parents and walked towards the train.

"So," James grinned and nudged Sirius with his elbow. "Are they good dreams? Cause I've got to tell you, Sirius, that's not the potion, mate, that's puberty," he wagged his eyebrows and Peter laughed.

Sirius scowled at them. "Stop it. Forget I mentioned anything."

"Oh, so they are that kind of dream then!" James wrapped his arm heavily around Sirius' shoulders.

"I mean it, Potter," Sirius growled, ducking out from under James' arm.

"Were they about McKinnon?" Peter asked eagerly. "You've got to tell us, Sirius. That's what friends are for."

Sirius huffed. "You two are literally the worst, you know that? Honestly, don't you have your own bloody fantasies to think about? And what do you-" he frowned. Both boys' eyes had gone wide and their jaws had dropped. "What are you gawking at?"

"Remus!"

Sirius felt his heart stop. Did they know? Had he somehow given it away? "W-what about Remus?"

There was a low chuckle behind him and a familiar, yet different voice said, "I'm behind you, you prat."

Sirius spun around and came face to… chest… with Remus Lupin.

His mouth fell open and he had to actually tilt his head back to meet Remus' eyes. He took a step back. The other boy was just over a head taller than him now, his jawline had gotten sharper and he looked like he had spent a decent amount of time in the sun this summer, giving him a much healthier glow. This wasn't helping Sirius' current predicament at all.

Remus was snickering to himself, undoubtedly amused by his shocked friends. "Er… Hey lads."

"Aw, our ickle Moonykins had a growth spurt!" James teased with a grin. "See, Sirius? You're not the only one that's getting beat with the puberty stick."

Remus rolled his eyes at James and gave Sirius a quizzical look. "You alright, Sirius? You're staring."

Finally shaking himself out of his daze, Sirius glared at the very tall and suddenly quiet broad werewolf. "What on earth did you do this summer? Were you injected with giants' blood or something? What are you…? How did you…?"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Does my height personally offend you, Sirius?" He smirked.

"Sirius is just jealous because you got tall and all he got are wet dreams," Peter grinned, causing James to nearly keel over with laughter.

Sirius' face heated up and embarrassment curled in his stomach. His eyes narrowed on the other boys. "James still sleeps with his stuffed lion at home!"

James' laughter died immediately, but Peter and Remus roared.

Sirius smirked, crossing his arms in satisfaction. "His name is Gordy and sometimes when James is asleep he sucks on its ear- oof!" The wind was knocked out of him as James sucker-punched him in the gut.

Remus wiped tears from his eyes. "Alright, alright… we're going to miss the train. Let's go," he walked ahead of them and boarded the car. The four of them found their usual compartment and took their seats just before the train started.

"So, other than James' bedtime buddy and Sirius'... special dreams…." Remus said coyly. "How was your summer?"

James and Sirius both scoffed and sunk into their seats.

Peter gave Remus a quick runaround of their summer at the Potter's, skirting around the details of brewing a dangerous and illegal potion in the back shed of course. Remus told them about his summer. He had gone for a short trip to the shore with his parents, but he spent most of the holiday helping his elderly neighbor work in her vegetable garden. That would explain the tan, Sirius thought, and the… well… let's just say that Remus wasn't quite so scrawny anymore. He watched Remus' lips as he talked and his tongue darted out to wet his own as the dreams from the last few weeks flooded his mind. 

"Sirius?"

He jumped. "Huh? What?"

"I asked if you had heard from Marlene over the summer?" Remus asked, frowning slightly. "Are you alright? You look flushed…"

He nodded, "Oh yeah, I'm brilliant. Just-"

"Anything from the trolley, dears?" Smiled the plump witch, pushing the cart of treats.

"Yes!" Sirius said, practically jumping from his seat and plunging his hands into his pocket for some money. Safe.

—-------

As the train pulled into the station, Sirius felt dread wash over him. Arriving at school meant attending the feast and attending the feast meant sitting at the Gryffindor table. Marlene would obviously see him and want to know why he hadn't answered any of her letters over the summer.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Remus asked him for the third time as they climbed into a horseless carriage. "You've seemed out of sorts all day."

Sirius chewed anxiously on his lip. "...I didn't answer any of Marlene's letters all summer," he admitted.

Remus knitted his brows together. "Why not?"

"I've been trying to get him to talk about it all summer, Remus," James said, shaking his head. "I kept telling him this was going to happen. It's not like you can avoid her now that we're back, Sirius."

"I know alright!" Sirius snapped "I screwed up. I get it!" He looked miserably out the window of the carriage. "Maybe I'm just not cut out to have a girlfriend."

"Don't be silly," said Remus, giving him a reassuring smile. "It was only your first shot. It doesn't mean anything."

He supposed that Remus was right. But it didn't make him feel any better about the whole thing. They hopped out of the carriage at the front of the castle, and as his luck would have it, there stood Lily, Mary, Dorcas, and of course, Marlene. He held his breath, preparing himself for the worst, but the girl just smiled brightly at him.

"Hi, Sirius."

Sirius blinked. "Er… Hi, Marls. Um… Nice summer?"

She tucked a long strand of white blonde hair behind her ear and Sirius noticed a flash of silvery metal through the pale flesh. That was new. "Yeah, it was great. You got my letters?"

He swallowed and nodded, shifting awkwardly on his feet and rubbing his neck. "Yeah, listen, Marlene… I'm sorry I didn't write back. I just-"

She laughed lightly and shook her head. "It's fine, Sirius. Really. I understand. No hard feelings, I promise." She leaned in and kissed his cheek and he felt himself relax. "See you at the feast then?"

Sirius' lip twitched up in a half smile. "Yeah, see you." He watched as she and the other girls entered the castle before the four boys followed suit