We all are animals anyway

The carriage started to move once the Prince and Princess boarded it. It did not take long for them to reach Lon Lon Ranch. Zelda was very anxious during the travel, she had not prepared herself with knowledge about the place at all. And what if her attire was not adequate?

ZELDA POV

"Ziel… is my dress appropriate for the ranch? Should I change my sandals for my flat shoes? I don't know how much protection is needed for my feet. Was coming here today the plan all along? Why didn't you tell me?"

Link raises his palm to stop her "I think I am developing a headache with your incessant questioning" he pinches the bridge of his nose "your dress is appropriate for the ranch, change your shoes only if the idea of dirt and mud in your toes bothers you. Yes, this visit was part of the plan, and I overlooked telling you about it because I didn't feel like it"

What does he mean with ¨I didn't feel like it¨ just how inconsiderate can he be? And for no fucking reason… I mean, I have behaved so far, right? or is this his lame attempt at getting back at me for forcing my way into in his bed?

DAMN… I am so glad I did not voice that last thought; it actually sounds really bad. I need to think of another way to phase it.

"I am getting angry, so explain further" Zelda warns.

Link nods "If I had told you, you would start asking questions like: What is the reason for the visit? Who do you know from the ranch? Since when? What do they do? And so on. I was mentally drained; the last thing I needed was to start a whole new conversation with you at the moment. So, I rather just do it. Let future Link deal with the repercussions… Not the best idea apparently, since I was still unable to avoid the question grenade"

Zelda awkwardly smiles and looks down at herself "So… my clothes were for the ranch visit and not for Saria?"

The Hero exhales and patiently explains "The ranch is a working environment, I asked you to wear a mid-calf dress so you won't stain the hemline of it with mud or fecal matter. The added bonus of your current attire is that you won't get caught in ranch equipment or on bushes. Saria doesn't care about the type of clothes you choose to wear; she is not that type of girl. Malon though…"

"Malon?"

"The ranch owner's daughter. She… is not bad, but she doesn't tolerate nonsensical behavior" Link notices Zelda's puzzled face "Lets paint a picture. You being a Princess show up at the ranch with a very expensive dress and heels, expecting that your attire won't get dirty or damaged during the visit. Then you leave early in tears with a torn dress and broken heels. She is not going to comfort you at all, she will fucking destroy your for being so darn stupid."

And he says she is not bad? Damn, ok maybe she is not a bitch, but she is not very tolerant either…

--------------remembrance------------------

Link exhales "If I open my mouth, I will obliterate them, and whomever survives my attack will be left mentally lacerated" the Prince declares threateningly. 

----------------------------------------------------

 Hehehe, Malon actually sounds a little bit like Link.

The carriage stops in front of Lon Lon Ranch, the driver told them he had other diligences to attend to, but he would be back in a few hours. Link helps Zelda out of the carriage and nods at the driver. Once the carriage left Zelda follows Link inside the ranch.

Talon was leaving in a hurry. He had some deliveries to make, but he still waved at Link when he saw him. Link waved back and enters the house without shame, he signals Zelda to wait and goes upstairs but soon jumps back down.

"I bet you are glad Saria is not here" Zelda says laughing a little.

Link half smiles at that as they exit the building. He proceeds to enter the barn telling Zelda to stay behind him. Once inside he is received by the sight of an obviously pregnant cow and a red headed girl moping the floor.

"What happened Malon?" the Hero asks sonorously.

The red head drops the mop and smiles at Link, but she doesn't fail to notice the blonde girl behind him. Malon briefly lifts an eyebrow at that, but still runs towards Link. She easily jumped on him giggling, her legs instantly wrapped around his waist and her arms around his neck. But behind his back, the ranch girl was staring at the Princess with hostility.

What the fuck is wrong with this bitch? how dare she just jump on the Prince like that...as if claiming him. HA, like he could belong to anyone.

Lately I have been thinking about my feelings for him... I am not sure if they may grow or stay the same since we had a rocky start. But I did brought him back after some wolfos mauled him to death. What have you done for him chili head? If someone has a claim on him its ME

Link puts the ranch girl down slowly; Malon quickly pecks him on the cheek and answers his question.

"My girl here is about to give birth, her amniotic sack just broke, I was mopping it out" Malon gives the Princess a quick side glance "By the way, I don't want the blonde here… what were you thinking? You were thinking with your dick that is what. She IS pretty, but come on, I bet she hasn't even used a broom in her life"

--------------remembrance----------------

Link squinting his eyes as he says "She… is not bad, but she doesn't tolerate nonsensical behavior"

------------------------------------------

Nonsensical behavior… why would she consider my presence here nonse- OF COURSE. Because she thinks Link brought me here to work for her, right?

Zelda clears her throat "Malon, right? I did not came here seeking for a job, I know I am under qualified"

The read head approaches the Princess tilting her head.

"So, you know your dainty hands are useless… why are you here then"

Why am I here… Ziel told me he wanted me to meet you, and maybe befriend you. I was hoping for that too, but I am not sure that is still a possibility for us. We are just too different. But that does not mean I am not willing to give it a try.

"To know and learn about the work that is done here" Zelda answers confidently.

Link chuckles at that statement and curls his index finger up and down at the Princess, making Zelda beam at hi approval, he then directs his attention at Malon.

"She only knows about work done in the castle, she wants to know about the ranch so show her the ropes here" Link informs the ranch girl.

Malon stares at the Princess intrigued "I… still don't understand why you may want to know how things are done at the ranch, but you DID came prepared with appropriate clothes…" sighs "so I might as well give you a quick introduction to the life here. THIS RANCH is a working area, it's not gonna be clean, and it's gonna smell a lot at times. There will be loose cuckoos everywhere, that means you have to be careful of not stepping on them or on poo. And you may also get trampled by a horse if you don't look both ways before walking anywhere" 

Malon closes her eyes for a moment before her next declaration "THIS IS NOT THE CASTLE, I don't know what your position there is, but I don't care. I will drag you out of here by the hair if you start ordering me, my dad, or Link around, was all that understood?"

Dear goddesses, Malon is a female version of Link in every way. She is got a strong character paired with outstanding beauty. She has long and luscious red hair, blue eyes, breast too big for her age, wide hips and her derriere. It's not fair at all… I think I am jealous.

Zelda straightens her stance and salutes the ranch girl military stile. Malon smiles and rolls her eyes.

Link leans close to the red head and whispers "She is your Princess, just so you know"

Malon's facial expression shifts from amusement to incredulity.

"You mean Zelda? Her?" Malon asks pointing at the Princess.

Do I not look like a Princess? I suppose I currently don't, I am dressed like a commoner.

Link nods and Malon takes it as a signal to approach the Princess, the ranch girl aggressively takes Zelda's hands and turns them around several times to look at them.

"I see, well that explains a lot actually" the Malon says giggling a little.

She just blatantly touched me… she is not afraid of my title. I may grow to like this girl.

Link clears his throat "Mal… when did you say Moomoo's amniotic sac broke?"

"Like ½ an hour ago… something is wrong, isn't it?"

"Maybe… we should already see the fore legs popping out at least, allow me check her"

Link said as he quickly removed his gloves and washes his hands. He then starts to roll his sleeves up and insets a hand into the cow's vulva.

What the fuck is happening? Why is he… but Malon seems perfectly OK with all this. That means this is normal procedure, right?

"What do you feel hunk? Do you need the chains?"

"The legs are about to pop out, but I don't feel the head" he insets his arm deeper "There it is, it's just not facing the birth canal. I can fix this, no chains needed gorgeous" he winks at Malon "But Mootilda is not going to enjoy this"

Did she just refer to Link as hunk? And he called her gorgeous… What type of relationship do these two have? And who is Mootilda? I thought her name was Moomoo… Ziel is just making up names for the cow, isn't he?

Malon headed to caress the cow's head and started singing to soothe her. Zelda froze in place mesmerized by the red head's beautiful singing voice.

Meanwhile, Link was inserting his other arm, since he needed both hands to be able to correct the head dystocia. With one arm he was carefully bringing the head of the calf into its normal position, with the other he was pushing the calf's body back and away on one side, since he needed the space to properly rotate the head and avoid damage to the cow's pelvic inlet.

The mother cow groans in discomfort "Zelda don't just stand there, help me by massaging her." Malon orders.

Zelda hurriedly starts caressing the cow, but the ranch girl yells at her.

"HARDER, don't just pet her, that feels pretty but does nothing for her, she need a proper massage to get relaxed… unless you want her to kick the lights out of Link."

What if I do want to see that?... No, if Mootilda puts him out of commission, her baby will die. We have to endure this for Milkshake.

LINK POV

Link was able to place the calf's head correctly in the birth canal, he pulls both fore legs just a little to stimulate the cow to keep pushing. He then sits back cleaning his hands with a towel. Malon and Zelda leave their position to join Link and both of them gasp when they see the calf's head already popping out. Malon grabs a towel and gives it to the Princess.

"Clean the baby's face" Malon orders.

"Me? but… he or she is still coming out"

"I don't care; it needs its airways clean to breathe" Malon barks.

Zelda hurries and starts cleaning the baby cow's face. The Princess was actually doing a stellar job this time around, she cleaned the nostrils and even opened its mouth to clean it without the need of being told to. since the baby calf may also use its mouth to breathe. Malon was watching the tenderness Zelda was using to clean the unborn animal. She never thought she would see a noble girl helping at the ranch with such devotion and care, and this was not any noble, it was Hyrule's Princess. The red head started to grin happy, Hyrule will be left in good hands. 

Malon sighs "I am sorry I couldn't give you a tour around the ranch, its messy but you would probably love all the animals, especially the horses" Malon says sadly.

"Actually, this was a lot better, right Princess?" Link asks Zelda with a smile.

"Stressful, but WAY better than just looking around. Milkshake is half way out by the way. Does the calf land on the floor or should I catch it?"

"Milkshake?" Malon asks looking at Link.

"Yes, since Link had to shake it a little before delivery, like the milkshakes sold at the market in summer… Come on, don't just stare at me like I am nuts, THE NAME IS PERFECT AND YOU KNOW IT" Zelda yells with pride, Malon actually cracks in laughter after that.

It's actually perfect, but they don't name the animals here… since if you name it, you grow attached to it. But maybe they could make an exception for this one, the they did it for my horse.

"Just come here Princess, let it drop to the floor, Cinnamoo will take care of the rest herself" Link says before a young horse neighs and enters running towards Link.

"Hello beautiful, how have they been treating you here?... AAHH, seriously?... When?" the mare neighs shaking her white mane "She can be a bitch, I know. But she loves you and you really needed those shots" Link says laughing at the make-believe scenario he just pulled with Epona, he then produces a carrot from his trousers for the mare.

Zelda stares at Link's interaction with the mare with longing.

"I really hope it wasn't me you and Epona were talking about" Malon exclaims trying to portray anger, but failing miserably.

Zelda clears her throat "Malon… I believe the ranch is doing very well economically, you should be able to hire somebody to help you, why haven't you?"

Malon points at Link, who immediately displays wrath by baring his teeth and narrowing his eyes.

--------------REMEMBRANCE (In a future 10 years ago) ----------------------

Link had found Talon in Kakariko Village. The man was having trouble staying awake, but managed to tell him that Ingo had forcefully thrown him out of the ranch proclaiming himself as the new owner. The conflicted father asked Link to visit the ranch and check if his daughter was ok.

He had tried to… but the ranch was closed off to the public, EXCEPT on weekends from 8 pm to 3 am. And you had to pay a hefty sum to enter. Link didn't mind having to pay, he minded the strange visit hours and the fact that he was asked to leave his sword and any weapon behind. He was a seasoned warrior by now, leaving his weapons behind felt like publicly stripping. But he didn't question Ingo's request since it felt legit, and was assured that his belongings will be left in a chest that only he had the key to. So, he choose one of the 5 chest that could be used by paying visitors.

Once he paid Ingo, the Hero entered the ranch. The first thing he noticed was that ALL the animals where outside of the barn, he found that a little disturbing so he entered the barn. His facial expression slowly shifted from upbeat ingenuity, to uncontainable wrath.

There in the middle of the barn was Malon on four naked. Being violently penetrated by an older guy. While a younger one was attempting to force himself into her mouth. Her face was mud stained, trails of previous tears could be seen on her cheeks. But she currently appeared to be no longer crying, her eyes seemed void… unfocused. Her back was full of old and new scars. Her arms and legs had burns and bruises.

Ingo joyfully enters the barn "You are new right? WELCOME, you can either wait for your turn, or join them. she still has a hole waiting to be filled" he states grinning with malice.

Smirking the Hero and approaches the skinny ranch owner, he shoots his arm out to violently grab Ingo's neck and lifts him in the air.

"What if I want to fill YOUR holes?"

Ingo starts screaming, Link takes that as an opportunity to reach for one of his glass bottles and pushes it hard inside Ingo's mouth. The action forced the mouth corners to crack open, since the bottle was too big of a fit. Link then performed an uppercut, breaking the bottle inside Ingo's mouth. 

The Hero releases his hold on Ingo, who falls to the ground whimpering. He then proceeds to jam the door close, to prevent the other two rapists and Ingo from escaping. He turns to them and tilts his head grinning wickedly, the naked men cower away in fear, but there is nowhere to go, no place to hide.

The Hero picks up a large piece of the broken bottle and stares fixedly at them, he had plans that involved the broken glass and the anuses of the offenders.

Heart breaking screams were heard from outside of the ranch, accompanied by Link's diabolical laughter. As the hours passed, a female voice was also heard, at times sobbing in anger, but others happily mocking someone with vile. None of the men including Ingo where ever seen again after that night.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"He won't let me hire people… MEN specifically. But let's get real, no female wants to work here… they all are whinny little bitches" Malon complained.

Link sighs "Why are you making me repeat myself?" he asks exasperated "You exude sex through every fucking pore. That instantly makes you a target for male desire. Any men working here poses a threat to your chastity. Talon agrees with me on this"

Malon rolls her eyes "Of course he does, he is my father, to him I am the most beautiful girl in all of Hyrule... AND since you discovered that Ingo was putting sleeping medicine in his meals, he fired him and grew suspicious of every everyone"

The Prince moves his head in quiet disagreement "Not everyone, just every male. The job here is physically demanding, so why would Ingo make it even harder on himself by putting the main worker out of commission? Because he was not here to work. He had set his eyes in something... someone else"

Link gets close enough to Malon and caresses her cheek with his knuckles, before using them to tilt her face up, forcing her to stare at him directly "If you catch my drift"

O dear goddesses… Link just implied that Malon was going to be raped, and I believe him. She is drop dead gorgeous. She is not my friend, but I have to protect her too. There must be something that can be done.

Malon aggressively shakes her head free from Link's hold. He just sighs "You used to tell me that Ingo's constant gaze made you feel uncomfortable. I don't think that my belief on what could have happened is completely off the mark"

Malon was about o retort but pressed her lips shut and looked down at the floor. She really would love to hire somebody, but she completely understood her father and Link's concern. Sadly, that left her and Talon a lot of work, and she did most of it since Talon came very tired after the deliveries. That is the one thing he never recovered after the sleeping medicine fiasco… his stamina.

Zelda grabs Links arm before speaking "She gets it… but the job itself it's too demanding for only 2 people. There must be something we could… how about asking José to help out?"

Link looks at the Princess unimpressed "Pepe, really?" he asks her point-blank.

Zelda processes the idea a little and backtracks on it completely "You are right, bad idea"

Link sighs heavily, stands up and walks a little followed by Epona. Then stops and turns to speak at Malon.

"How about this… you hire men for short periods of time, casual workers if you prefer that therm. They will be here a week, two at most. Try to time it to periods where you know you will need the extra hands, like births, vaccination, etc. I am willing to allow that IF you promise to avoid physical contact with them. Does that sound good enough?"

Malon starts beaming at the proposal when...

THUD!!!

Link looks behind himself and turns back to the female crowd with a smile "Milkshake has just been born"

The Princess squeals in happiness and grabs another towel before rushing to the calf's side. Malon can't help being infected by Zelda's elation, so she stands up to join her. But as she walks by Link's side, the ranch girl stops and looks at him smiling.

"I accept your proposal and I pledge to abstain from physical interaction with the hired males" Malon states extending her hand.

"IT'S A GIRL!!!" Zelda yells.

"I will bring this proposal to your father and see to it that he also agrees" Link assures the red head as he shakes her hand.

"Thanks for understanding hunk" Malon says winking an eye, and heads to where Zelda is.

The Princess was on four trying to shield Milkshake from his mom, since she was afraid that Cinamoo would eat her own baby, the cow had already eaten the amniotic sac and some hay, she was obviously hungry.

The Hero laughs at Zelda's weak attempt to push the mother cow away "Zelda, Cowrina is trying to lick her baby clean, let her."

"She won't harm the baby, right? she has eaten everything around her so far, even the…" Zelda stares in awe as Link pull a piece of the amniotic sac left in cow's vulva, the cow slowly turns and eats it right out of his hand.

Malon leans close to the Princess "Its normal for them to eat it… its actually very nutritious. We used to sell it for expectant mothers" says the ranch girl with an evil grin.

Zelda opens her eyes wide and moves, allowing Cowrina to lick her baby.

Link reaches for a water bucket and washes his hands to put his gloves back on. "Zelda, give Milkshake a kiss good bye, we are leaving"

"WHAT? Already? but…" Zelda complains still kneeling on the floor next to the baby calf.

Malon walks to her smiling "Don't worry girl, it's getting late, I need to cage my animals and clean before it gets dark. If you want to, you can come and visit anytime. Just tell me beforehand. It's difficult to keep the ranch clean, but I like to at least fix my room and wash the dishes when a friend is coming over"

Zelda stares up at Malon and stands up smiling "Did… you said friend?"

Malon rolls her eyes "Of course, unless the idea of being my friend gives you nausea"

The ranch girl starts to walk away but the Princess stops her pulling on her arm. "I would be honored to be called your friend" Zelda hugs the read head, catching her off guard. Soon, both of them start laughing,

And this is how my tormentor managed to take EVERYTHING from me…

*Don't be unfair, she hasn't taken anything, and you are not giving anything away either. You are just being a big boy and sharing*

I suppose… though, it feels like I am forcing her to see the world through my glasses.

*Maybe, still much better than the pink glasses most of them nobles use... that is how they end up look down on the rest of us*