We all are animals anyway

It was noon already, the throne room had been in use for 2 hours now, Sebastian opens the double doors laughing, and exits with a smile plastered on his face. Link also walks out slowly and closes the doors behind himself. He runs a hand through his hair closing his eyes.

LINK POV

GUARDIAN, the plan Daphnes is setting in motion is to make me Zelda's legal guardian, this is a risky move for him. On one side it means that I WONT EVER do anything against the Princess, since I will be legally obligated to her now. But on the other side I will be granted a higher status… meaning that I will be allowed to drag the princess out of Hyrule whenever I see fit, no questions asked.

 The look on the King's eyes tells me HE KNOWS he is basically relinquishing her off to me. He is just too proud to admit he is complying to my request of letting her out of Hyrule. His lawyer made me swear to keep this a secret. Daphnes made sure to stress on the fact that if Claire found out, she will not be happy, and could easily put a stop on the legal process. And if Zelda found out, she will feel like a new shackle was put around her neck and fight it. My King made sure to double checked if he could expect secrecy from me on this matter, he even asked the same thing but with different wording. Hehehe… he is starting to get the hang with me, not sure if that is a good thing or not.

Sebas found the King's request odd, but was utterly happy that this time it's going to be an easy job, the only authority he needs to consult is the King of Hyrule himself, meaning his job is done, all he has to do is to put it on paper with fancy words.

Link was heading to his room, but changed his mind and decided he needed fresh air to clear his head, TOO MUCH had happened in a matter of hours… SWORD found 2 impossible guys that appear to match his DNA, and he just got told he was to become Zelda's guardian.

As he was heading out, he passed by Nana's kitchen noticing a tall man hugging her. Link immediately stopped and entered the kitchen. The man lifted his amber eyes that hid behind a black mane to stare back at Link, it was clear they were sizing each other up. Nana noticed someone had entered and turned to look at the newcomer, once she realized it was Link the color drained from her face, after a few seconds she approached Link covering her distress with a smile.

"Good morning, it's good that you are here now, that way I can introduce you two, this is José…my son. Pepe this is"

"I know who he is… the guy that fights with you constantly and has even lied to you, but I am supposed to be worshiping the ground he stands on because he saved you and Chacha. That guy, right?" Pepe asks cynically.

Nana opens her eyes wide in fear, and stares angry at her son. Link was partially smiling, amused with the guy. Pepe was rude, but not afraid to be upfront, and Link appreciated that character in a man, specially coming from the man who is supposed to take care of his favorite lady in the castle. 

"Precisely that guy, nice to meet you" Link extends his hand for a shake, his grey eyes never breaking contact with Pepe's own angry stare.

Pepe strongly grabs Link's hand for a shake, but he is meet with Link's own strong hold.

Note to self: I must be in my right mind at all times. Unexpected things can and will happen as long as I reside in the castle.

Pepe slowly shows a smile and uses his grip on Link's hand to pulls him into a hug, he uses his other hand to taps on Link's back a few times then releasees him. Link then turns to Nana.

"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU HAD A SON" Link yells at Nana smiling.

"It never came out, and honestly, I don't like talking about him" Nana answers ashamed.

What the fu-?

José laughs "Yeah… when your mom loves you but is ashamed of you" Pepe said with a cynical grin. 

Rolling her eyes "That is because you only know how to do mischief, do you know how long it took to rid of the smell of your stunt on the throne room? Everyone was talking about you and judging me, you just bring me shame with all your crazy shit. I believe Daphnes should not have forgiven you this time, with all you have done by now, you deserved jail time."

Well fuck, that was harsh, she was not speaking to me but I felt it. And Pepe didn't even flinch, he either has developed immunity to his mom, or doesn't even care anymore… I really hope it's the first one.

"Hahaha maybe that is what I need, I would like to promise you that I will be a good boy, but come on… you and I both know I will do it again in a heartbeat, and just for fun" José smirks.

This dude, I am no psychologist but I believe Pepe is a case of ODD (Oppositional defiant disorder) that assuming this is all there is to him, he could still be something more dangerous… either way he is defiant, putting him to deal with people might not be the best idea. I should pay more attention when Dr. Stephan visits and talks to us about mental profiles. Either way, there must be SOMETHING he can do here at the castle, something that will help give him structure while keeping him away from people.

Rolling her eyes "Oh, by the love of Nayru, I can't deal with you right now, I need to head to the garden and discuss something with the Queen, you both will behave and not kill each other, right?" Nana demands of them.

Pepe laughs, but does not answer. Link smiles and nods at Nana, she uses her index and middle finger to point at her eyes and right back at them, implying that she is watching them. Ivanna turns and leaves.

Link clears his throat to draw attention to himself "If you don't mind me asking José, how old are you?"

"It's not correct to judge people by their age… I am 16"

They both hear rushed steps approaching them, Link positions himself in front of the table and facing directly at the entrance, he then notices Pepe standing up at a corner positioning himself to also face the entrance. They both look at each other taking note of their actions and bust out laughing. Zelda enters the kitchen and stares at both of them puzzled.

ZELDA POV

Because of course, those two just HAD to meet and become friends, Link is not friendly AT ALL… so, how does he befriend everyone?

"What do you find so funny guys?" Zelda asks curiously.

"We just shared an alfa male moment" Links says grinning, causing Pepe to start choking a little at that comment.

"Wow breathe" she giggles waiting for Pepe to stabilize before continuing "I am glad you are back José, you know the guard's night itinerary, right?" Zelda asks him not beating around the bush.

Both Link and José look at the Princess with suspicion, Pepe clears his throat.

"Depends, what do you want it for?" José says squinting his eyes, Link stares stoically at her too.

"Do you need me to leave?" Link offers the Princess.

Zelda stares at Link and widens her eyes.

"NO!!! you… I can trust you right?" Zelda asked not really expecting an answer.

"Look I need the guard's night itinerary because I need to find a breach in their formation, and use it to steal something from the Queen's personal office"

THERE, I said it, this will make me a thief but I don't care, I need my royal seal. My mother refuses to give it to me and I NEED IT, I want to keep my promise and stamp my name at the shooting gallery.

Link stretches his arms up "I don't see that happening" he lowers his arms and continues "To access the Queen's office you need to go through the royal chamber first. How do you plan to enter their chambers without waking them up?" Link's face suddenly brightens "Or do you intend to use the office window?"

"Well… yes, that is the plan, but not me… I can't do something like that, I don't know how to climb" she slowly turns to look at Pepe.

"No, don't look at me, you need strength on the hands and fingers that I don't have, but if you are willing to pay, I can get you somebody" José offers.

Sighing the Princess says "But it can't be ANYONE, it has to be a man who is very capable physically speaking, he needs to be able to easily lift his own weight" Zelda gives Link a quick glance. "He needs to have a strong and resilient core for the task… he also needs to lack moral ground to be able do this without feeling guilty about it, don't you think?" Zelda ends up asking Link directly.

Come on, BITE IT. It obviously has to be you Link.

Link grabs his own chin between his thumb and index's middle knuckle "Secrecy, you also need someone who can keep this a secret, you don't want your people gossiping about this" Link wiggles his eyebrows at the Princess.

He is going to make me ask directly, isn't he? Of course he is… FUCKER. But I am not backing down; I will beg him if I must, but first I will try appealing to his courteous side.

Zelda approaches Link slowly. Once she gets close to him, she starts fidgeting her fingers anxiously, then looks up at Link with puppy eyes.

"Help me regain my independence PLEASE" Zelda asks wiggling from side to side.

"Your independence?" Link asks her seriously.

"Yes… you will be stealing my royal seal; I need to use it for an establishment back in the market. Mother refuses to give it to me, you could steal yours too for that matter" Zelda says curling a strand of hair on her finger.

"Hehe, no need. I have mine already" Link answers bragging.

"Son of a…" Zelda says angry, but quickly recovers and goes back to her sweet girl act.

"Well, I don't have mine, will you help me steal it please?" Zelda asks as sweet as possible.

"No... your whole act right now" Link says drawing a circle in the air between them "I am not buying it"

"MY ACT? WHAT ACT? It's been more than a week now that I have been good and accepting of you. Why are you turning your back on me?" Zelda reproaches him.

"Does treating me with respect translates into becoming meek? I swore to help and protect the Princess, and let me tell you… my Princess is anything but meek, this person standing in front of me is NOT my Princess" Link replies.

I… why? No matter what I do, he finds a way to spit it back at me demanding something BETTER. Is it always going to be like this with him? I mean what if this is it? What if this is all I have?

"You may be describing someone else, someone I impersonate at times but ultimately, someone I don't know" Zelda admits with disappointment at herself.

"Because FUCK ME, right?" Link answers challenging her

Well yeah, FUCK YOU!!! Slowly and with a pinch of…

I THINK I GOT IT.

He wants me to fight for this. [let me tell you… my Princess is anything but meek] He is demanding strength from me, he is a monster himself, if he is subduing to a person, it better be to someone strong… All right then, let's see if he likes how I flex.

"YES, FUCK YOU. It's not fair that you have the royal seal and I don't. All I want is to use it to stimulate the economy of my people, not for selfish purposes at all. Mark my words, I will steal it with or without your help" Zelda states catching her breath.

Link stares at Zelda annoyed, but slowly produces a smirk; Pepe keeps switching his gaze between the two and starts raising his index finger.

"Excuse me, now that you have resolved your marital problems, I need to tell you that I WANT TO HELP. But if I do, I am risking being thrown away from the castle for good this time"

--talking at the same time--

"HAHAHA marital problems, if it where that simple" Link says while he leans back on the table crossing his arms. 

"WHAT!!! Take that back José, how can you even joke about this" Zelda says embarrassed and trying to hide her flushing face.

--

"Right" answers Pepe rolling his eyes.

Link turns to speak to José "Who else knows of your current presence in the castle?"

"Nobody… maybe just the guard at the entrance, you, my mom and the Princess."

"That means nobody… PERFECT" Link smirks.

Pepe looks at Zelda for a hint on what is going on, but she is also clueless.

"José, we are stealing the seal TONIGHT, I need you to tell me the guards night route, and then I need you to HIDE. This conversation did not happen, if we get caught, you will not be involved because YOU WERE NOT HERE. The moment you finish telling me what I need, you stand up, grab your clothes and disappear. I will take care of Ivanna. THAT should be enough to completely get you out of the radar. Get back here tomorrow as if nothing ever happened" Link states.

"No, wait. What about that one guard?" Zelda asks.

José grins at her and chuckles, Link rolls his eyes before answering "They don't really pay attention at who enters, they just check that you have a permit"

They do? Gosh, my guards suck.

Jose takes a seat smiling. He and starts telling Link how many guards patrol the castle at night and how often they do their rounds. Zelda just stares at them unsure of what to do now.

LINK WILL HELP ME!!! O my goddesses, this is happening. He could have told me, he demands straightforwardness from me, well I demand the same. He should ADMIT to my face that he changed his mind… NO ZELDA, SHUT UP. You have him now, don't push him away.

"How can I help? What should I do?" Zelda asks.

"You should gather these in your room: vendanges, alcohol, soap, cotton, razor, thread and needle"

"Wait a second, that is…" Zelda states with concern and worry displaying on her face.

"A precaution" Link answers "I may scrape or hurt myself in other ways during the climb"

That… actually is a possibility, and we can't afford Link going to the clinic, they will ask too many questions, I will have to tend his injuries myself, hopefully he won't have any.

José stands up, grabs his hand bag and waves them goodbye as he walks out. Link smiles and starts speaking to the Princess.

"I will climb down my window and use Pepe's intel on the guard's patrol to avoid them, then I will climb the north tower. It would be great if the window is already open, do you think you could make sure it is?"

"It is already open, mom hates silverfish, she ventilates everything. Rooms that are not frequently used are left with the windows slightly open to avoid that plague. If you find it closed just push on it, I assure you that IS OPEN"

Link raises an eyebrow "How convenient… LETS START THE SHIT SHOW"

LINK POV

Zelda laughs and nods, then walks out of the kitchen heading to the infirmary. Link is heading to the garden in search of Nana but stops when he sees her entering the castle. When she sees Link, she smiles and runs to him.

She is going to tackle me, isn't she?

The force of the impact forces Link to stumble back a few steps, but he does not fall. Nana starts playfully beating on his chest.

"YOU FUCKING KNEW DIDN'T YOU? Is it always going to be like this? and where is my beautiful Princess? I need to thank her" Ivanna says sobbing.

Link chuckles "I didn't want to spoil the surprise, and last I checked that royal pain in the ass was heading to the infirmary… Ivanna have you told ANYONE about Pepe's arrival today?"

"NO! WHAT DID HE DO?" Nana yells, anguish all over her face.

"Nothing, but me on the other hand…" he smirks "to avoid you and him any trouble, HE WAS NEVER HERE, got it?"