Wake Up As Ozpin

Cinder Fall had lost.

Not in the "noble villain defeated by the hero" way.

Not in the "tragic mastermind outplayed at the last moment" way.

No.

She had been clowned on.

She had been disrespected.

She had been psychologically dismantled, one smug coffee sip at a time.

And now, as Beacon still stood, as her forces crumbled around her, as she clutched a therapy session receipt, there was only one thought left in her mind:

"I hate this man."

Step Three Hundred and Twenty-Nine: Cinder Is in Her Villain Arc About Ozpin Specifically.

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Step Three Hundred and Thirty: The Great Villain Retreat

Cinder wasn't dead.

Unfortunately.

She had one option left.

A strategic retreat.

Not because she was giving up.

Not because she was afraid.

But because if she stayed any longer, she was going to commit a war crime out of sheer spite.

"Emerald!" she barked.

Emerald was still rocking back and forth.

"Mercury!"

Mercury was staring blankly at nothing.

Cinder's eye twitched.

Step Three Hundred and Thirty-One: Her Team Is Completely Broken.

"Get up," she growled. "We're leaving."

Emerald nodded frantically. Mercury just muttered, "I see him when I close my eyes."

Cinder grabbed both of them and bailed.

Step Three Hundred and Thirty-Two: Live to Get Trolled Another Day.

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Step Three Hundred and Thirty-Three: The White Fang Collapse

Meanwhile, on the battlefield—

Blake was actively suplexing a White Fang lieutenant.

Yang was laughing maniacally as she yeeted people into the air.

Weiss had somehow convinced some of the mercenaries to switch sides by offering "better dental care."

Adam Taurus, the so-called "revolutionary leader," took one look at the absolute mess this had become—

And ran.

Step Three Hundred and Thirty-Four: Blake Will Find Him Later.

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Step Three Hundred and Thirty-Five: Roman Torchwick's Last Brain Cell

Roman Torchwick was having a bad day.

He was used to crime.He was used to chaos.

But this?

This was pure, concentrated stupidity.

"Neo," he hissed, dodging a flying Nora hammer. "We're getting out of here."

Neo gave him a look that clearly said, 'No duh.'

Step Three Hundred and Thirty-Six: The Smart Villains Leave While They Can.

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Step Three Hundred and Thirty-Seven: Beacon Stands Victorious

Somehow.

Some way.

Beacon was still standing.

Ruby stood at the edge of the battlefield, panting.

Weiss was checking her hair for bloodstains.

Blake was already sharpening her sword for Round 2.

Yang was grinning like a lunatic.

Jaune, still holding a mop, blinked. "Did we… win?"

Ren, who had just finished drop-kicking a terrorist, sighed. "Yes, Jaune."

"Oh."

A pause.

Then Jaune threw the mop in the air and cheered.

Step Three Hundred and Thirty-Eight: Somehow, They Pulled It Off.

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Step Three Hundred and Thirty-Nine: Glynda's Soul Leaves Her Body

Glynda Goodwitch stood in the ruins of what was once a functional school.

"Ozpin."

Ozpin calmly sipped his coffee.

"Ozpin, look at me."

He took another sip.

"I SAID LOOK AT ME."

Step Three Hundred and Forty: Avoid Direct Eye Contact.

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Step Three Hundred and Forty-One: The Final Words of a Victorious Troll

Ozpin finally turned to Glynda.

Looked at the smoking battlefield.

Looked at the heroes standing triumphant.

Looked at the villains running for their lives.

And then—

With the wisdom of a true headmaster, he simply said:

"Well. That was certainly an eventful evening."

Glynda screamed.

Step Three Hundred and Forty-Two: Victory.