Waifu Catalog: Warcraft Beta Tester

Just Chillin



6/14 night, day 0 of 5

After I ate a sumptuous meal and crushed a half dozen members of my retinue under a cart (harder than it sounds for Onyxia and Vashj), I headed to bed. I availed myself of the highborn handmaiden I’d been provided. I’d arrived in the middle of the night, which might as well be high noon to the Kaldorei, but I’d been awake quite long enough. I did get Galae’s name before draining my balls into her, and casually included a promotion for her in my list of orders. Whatever her noble title was, I gave her the next one up. Probably gave a few uncaptured members of Azshara’s court a minor heart attack.

Most of my orders had to do with some fun I had planned for Azshara, involving a tattoo artist, checking to see if magic circle trances could be used to implant triggers, and really pushing one of the perks I’ve neglected to its limit. I’d need to fuck her at least once before that could really be put into motion, but I didn’t want to be half asleep when I did that. She would be my alarm clock, you see? I snuggled up to the newly promoted Galae, and fell asleep pretty quickly.

••••••••••

Day 1 of 5

I was woken up by a gorgeous narcissist ready to jump my bones, but a different one than normal. I’d know for sure a day from now, but I suspected that Lividia’s respawn timer worked off of the clock in my main timeline. Everything else seemed to, at least according to the team of gnomes I had analyzing the amulets. As such, no Lividia for the first day here.

No, today I was greeted by Queen Azshara dismissing Galae. She was wearing a gauzy robe that barely concealed anything, over an array of thin ribbons that barely qualified as a bikini. I could just barely sense the waves of magic rolling off of her, presumably the glamor that helped ensure her universal approval.

“Greetings, my Lord Bismark.” She spoke with a pleasant and slightly musical voice, “You requested my presence before you slept, yes?”

“Oh yeah.” I noted appreciatively, “You’ll do. Get over here.”

“Of course Lord Bismark.” She swept over to sit next to me with a slightly indulgent smile. “I certainly look forward to getting to know my future husband.”

“I was actually thinking something a bit less dignified than my wife for you.” I began, “you see I’ve already got two women I’m having children with. Maybe you could just be my sex toy?”

“Oh of course, my lord.” She agreed readily, "If that is your wish, we could start with that.”

So far, so standard. She’d been given orders under a circle trance to accept my commands without question and rationalize how I was honoring her or improving her. “It is. Once you finish teaching Doan about your fun little tricks, you won’t even be all that exceptional of a mage. You’ll be another minion, nothing more.”

“Excellent. That will give me additional time to focus on your individual needs.” She seemed pleased, “besides, it is unbefitting a queen to sully her own hands on the field of battle.”

I smirked. “Okay. Anyway, this isn’t going to suck itself.” I gestured at my dick casually. “I’m going to check some things on my amulet.”

She gracefully crawled into the bed with me and began sucking. She wasn’t very good at it; she didn’t know what to do with her hands for one thing, and I’ve gotten extremely spoiled here. I wasn’t actually on my amulet, I wasn’t going to miss this for book keeping, I just wanted her to think I was. What I was really doing was trying to humiliate her, or at least neg her a bit. I’m not the most sadistic person, so mostly that just meant prodding at her and being a bit more blunt than normal.

Thus far, the trigger I had ordered installed in her was working. She wasn’t insulted by anything I did. Even when I called Talaada, she kept doing her best with a self satisfied look in her eyes. My Sticky Fingers lure probably helped there, but I think she might have genuinely thought she was wrapping me around her finger.

“Yeah. She’s awful at giving head. I remember you were decent, if you’d like to come by and show her how it’s done. Oh no, it’s not a limited time offer. I definitely want to spend more time with you while I’m here. If you are busy at the moment, could you send someone over to explain the basics to her. Preferably someone lowborn; if I remember right they are freeuse in this world now. There should be some pretty girl that has gotten exceptionally good at blowjobs. Or a tauren slave, if you’ve got one with the skills.”

••••••••••

“Yeah. Watch closely, slut.” I groaned at Azshara through the pleasure, “This is what a real woman can do with her mouth.”

“Of course sir. In no time at all I’m sure I will exceed her.” She spoke confidently, of course, “You will have no need to sully yourself with lesser women.” I smiled, remembering a similar sentiment from Lividia.

I spent the next hour or so praising Nerea the fruit cart vendor for her technique and beauty, all while largely ignoring Azshara. She was slightly less attractive than the queen in the face and body department, but she definitely knew more about how to suck a dick. I swear she was using communication talent to pick up on subtle hints about what I liked, because she went from experimental to pushing my buttons quite nicely in a few minutes.

Nerea was extremely nervous to pleasure me in the presence of Azshara at first, especially when I kept praising her at the expense of her beloved queen, but that all changed when I implemented the second part of my plan for Azshara. I pulled out a pen, which Archaedes had been able to design and hand to me in about 5 minutes, full of his bootleg pen of ownership ink. I casually wrote on Azshara’s collarbone “Erich Bismark’s Lowly Fucktoy” and my dick sucking fruit peddler immediately relaxed. She still showed deference due to her queen, but she was far more comfortable with her role as a mentor to my fuck toy.

“This woman is one of dozens.” I explained, “I’m mostly fucking her for her title and to knock her down a few pegs, you see. She’s definitely hot, but I don’t really think anyone is as hot as she thinks she is and her personality is… well, I want to say atrocious but she kinda reminds me of my prime consort from what I’ve seen so far. So instead I’ll say ‘redundant.’”

Azshara only really processed a few bits of that speech. That I was fucking her for her title just made sense in her mind; she didn’t really think people liked other individuals for their own sake, just their usefulness. That she was hot and reminded me of Lividia were taken as high compliments.

“Anyway, enough foreplay.” I pat Nerea on the head affectionately. “I’ll let Talaada know you’ve earned a boon of your choice. You did really great. I might be seeing you again, but don’t get your hopes up.” I’m just being honest here. The competition was fierce.

Azshara perked up immensely, believing it was time for her to get the attention she deserved. It was, of course. I’d been curious to see how the body writing would be interpreted when I told her to get in front of a mirror so I could fuck her from behind while still seeing her face. The results were a bit funny; she could not process any information that would make her feel lower, so instead the fact that a queen like her could be my lowly fuck toy just elevated me well into godhood.

She looked at me with awe, which was nice, but I still had one more trigger to play with. It went off the moment I pushed into her soaking wet pussy.

The last hour all crashed down on her as she suddenly saw everything in its proper light. The look of pure shock was priceless, and then the humiliation fetish kicked in. Basically nothing could possibly trigger it while she was shrouded in Lividia tier delusional confidence, but I’d installed a powerful kink for being denigrated and humiliated in the queen of the Kaldorei. The hour of retroactive foreplay combined with Sticky Fingers created a cocktail of emotions that transitioned from shock to a mind shattering orgasm quite quickly. I enjoyed that, but mostly I just pistoned into her with the intention of getting my rocks off. I did have a daily itinerary, after all.

Once I finished inside of her, she was still shuddering with aftershocks and probably would never achieve sexual satisfaction with another man again. The way she looked at me was still with awe, but it was a far more critical eye. I wasn’t some ethereal god, I was her conqueror. Someone with power in her own weight class that had simply beaten her. The queen of a world spanning empire and a master of mind altering magic had been reduced to a mewling sex toy. She knew it, she loved it, and she knew damn well it was all artificial but could not bring herself to hate me. If she weren’t captured, she’d have tried to kill me right then and there, but the binding would not let her emotions walk down that path. Instead, they were all funneled into embarrassment, which in turn made the whole thing even more arousing. She’d been beaten so soundly she could not put it into words, and I’m fairly sure she fell in love with me on the spot. At the very least Stud Service had some opinions about a man who had so utterly dominated her.

“My… my lord, may I ask that I bear an heir for you? My bloodline is the strongest in all of the Kaldorei Empire. Your children will not be weakened by having your seed grow within me.” The very act of asking made her feel embarrassed in the extreme, sending another purple flush of arousal to her blue cheeks.

“Hmm. Maybe. I’ll need to think about it. I already have two kids on the way, you know?” The thought appealed, but even if I was going to have kids I didn’t want to have so many that I started forgetting their names. They’d probably always be in my shadow at my current rate of expansion. What was I supposed to do, hit them all with trucks when they came of age? Actually that might be the best way I had available to let them grow. Weird.

“If it happens it happens. Right now though, I have something I want you to do for me. Don’t bother cleaning up first. Go to the Temple of Elune and deliver a message to the goddess in whatever way seems most appropriate. Let Elune know that I intend to take her as my consort.”

I was being perhaps a bit too ballsy, but I had a plus sized Tsundere Service Lure and I intended to use it. Deliberate provocation would accelerate the effect, according to the description in the catalog. Hell, even if she destroyed me with a falling star for the insult I could always just be resurrected. Even if Elune was a cross-timeline entity and destroyed me and all of my altars in a bout of tsundere rage, I really doubted that she would touch the one on Xoroth.

I was here on vacation. But you know me, that meant dumb experimental shit far more than it meant lounging around being fed grapes. Anyway, I sent out an order to Talaada to put together a team of attractive women to fan me and feed me grapes while I did some book keeping. Talaada had made a list of interesting things I might do, and I was very curious about how the last 8 hours went for my erstwhile isekai protagonists.


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