Vell Harlan and the Doomsday Dorms

“Morning guys,” Vell said. He sat his book bag down and relaxed. “Ready to get back to it tomorrow?”

The two-day break in classes that happened once a month was now on it’s second day -and as the next month of classes was their last, the loopers wouldn’t get another break until the end of the schoolyear. It was an interesting, and conflicting, thought.

“I’m good to go, but I think Lee’s getting overwhelmed,” Harley said. Lee still had her nose buried in a notebook, and she only looked up at the sound of her name.

“Yes? What?”

“You’re getting overwhelmed,” Harley said. “Case in point.”

“Ah, yes, well, Principal Goodwell is offloading a surprising amount of paperwork on the RA’s and other support staff. He claims he’s planning something big.”

“That sounds like foreshadowing,” Harley said.

“I don’t know, it’s his first year here, maybe he’s just trying to impress people,” Lee said.

“Attention students!”

“Speak of the devil,” Lee said, as the PA system started to boom.

“I’m pleased to announce the headliner of the Year-End Concert,” Isaac Goodwell’s echoing voice declared. Vell shot a questioning look at his partners in crime. Well used to explaining things to him at this point, Lee got right to it.

“Just a free event they throw at the end of every year,” Lee said.

“They usually get some student band from the music department to do it,” Harley said. “It’s a decent excuse to get drunk, at least.”

“Start lining up for tickets now, because this year’s headliner is none other than an Einstein-Odinson alumni: Roxy Roiland of Roxy and the Boosters!”

“Oh, Vell dear, isn’t she that musician you-”

Lee turned to face Vell. He wasn’t there.

“Good lord.”

Harley got out of her seat and double-checked Vell’s chair for any sign he’d been suddenly disintegrated. After confirming he hadn’t been turned to dust, she looked around to see if Vell was still in the dining hall.

“I didn’t know he could move that fast,” Harley said.

“Where was this energy when we were outrunning that jaguar?” Lee said, slightly offended.

“Man has his priorities, I guess.”

Vell only stopped moving when he found the lineup for tickets outside the faculty office. His legs burned and his lungs felt shredded, but he ignored the pain for the promise of free Roxy tickets. He bent at the waist and caught his breath as he took his place in line -second place, to be exact. Right behind the only person with equal enthusiasm for Roxy and the Boosters, and a significantly higher top speed.

“Hey Leanne,” he gasped. “Glad you’re here, I was just about to call.”

“Thanks, but I heard,” Leanne said. “Only time that obnoxious PA system has ever been useful.”

Any animosity or confusion that existed between them for now was entirely buried in enthusiasm for their favorite musician.

“So he said Roxy Roiland of Roxy and the Boosters, do you think they’re bringing the whole band or is it just a solo set from her?” Vell asked.

“God, I don’t know which I want more,” Leanne said. “If she’s solo she could be doing songs from Overseas but the bass tracks on her full band stuff is too good and, and-”

Leanne clutched at her head.

“And god I can’t believe she’s actually coming to school? How can they even afford her?”

“She graduated from here apparently, maybe it’s just her being nice.” Vell stopped to think about the dilemma and then his heart jumped. “Do you think some of her old professors still work here and they-”

“Nah, I asked around the first week I got here,” Leanne huffed. “All her teachers retired a couple years ago.”

“Damn it, I was hoping they had stories,” Vell grumbled.

At that point, the ticket queue finally opened up, and all conversations came to a halt as Vell and Leanne all too eagerly snatched their tickets from the RA’s desk. They walked out of the faculty office clutching their prizes in trembling hands, to find Lee holding tickets of her own.

“You two do recall I’m an RA, yes? They reserve tickets for us.”

Lee took one of her tickets and handed it to Harley, who tucked it indifferently into her pocket.

“Leanne, good to see you again,” Lee said, a bit stiffly. “I understand if you didn’t want to ask-”

Leanne shrugged and tapped her head. She had simply forgotten in all of the excitement.

“Right. Well, no matter how you acquired them, it’s good that you have tickets. We’ll need all hands on deck.”

“Why?”

“Because classes are still in session on the day of the concert, Vell,” Lee said. “Apocalypses tend to occur at the scene of large events, and this concert will be a very large event.”

Vell looked down at his ticket and then back up at Lee.

“Oh no.”

Vell thought that, but he hadn’t said it. Leanne had.

“Hey, you talked,” Harley said. Leanne had indeed talked, though after grabbing the three other loopers to pull them into a huddle, she reverted to communicating through gestures. She pointed to the banner advertising the concert, then to all four loopers in turn, then to her own eyes, making the universal gesture for “keep an eye on it”.

“Right, got it,” Harley said. Leanne then followed up by holding up four fingers, then pointing to Lee, making a chopping motion, and pointing to herself again.

“Finally pulling rank, are you? Very well, you are the senior member. We’ll defer to your experience.”

“Can we defer to you via text? I feel like this is going to get very elaborate.”

Leanne nodded. Frankly, she wasn’t sure how to explain a few of her ideas through hands gestures either. Her last gesture of the day was a sign to break apart their huddle and go about their day -for now.

Galgamesh:

Alright, role call

I got something for each of you

But even if I don’t specifically order you to do something

If you think you have a way to keep this apocalypse in line

You do it

Got it?

HARL33:

yes maam

Galgamesh:

Good.

Now Harley, you’re on security

I want drones and camera’s and scanner and whatever else you got

Make sure we have an eye on everything

HARL33:

i will do as much as i can that is not illegal

and maybe a little of the illegal stuff too

no snitching though

Galgamesh:

Of course not.

Lee, you’re on review and prepare duty.

I want you going over that binder full of past apocalypses you keep

Get an eye on anything that might go wrong the day of the concert and make sure we’re informed and prepared

Lee:

I shall do my best.

Galgamesh:

Vell, we need an arsenal.

As many runes as you can make

In as many different kinds as you can think of

We need a rune for any situation

vharlan03:

way ahead of you

got twelve done already

Galgamesh:

Good hustle.

Now

I’m sure you can tell

But this is important to me

vharlan03:

and me

Galgamesh:

Yeah

We don’t let anything happen to Roxy

I want you to protect her like she was your own mother

Are we clear?

HARL33:

clear as crystal maam

roxy = mama

and thats serious cuz like

i love you guys for real

but i would throw all three of you in front of a bus to save my mama

i swear i will do the same for roxy

Galgamesh:

Good

Keep up that energy

HARL33:

Kinda joking but okay

Galgamesh:

I’m not.

If you have to choose between me and Roxy, save Roxy

I’d do the same for you

HARL33:

okay??????????

Leanne made sure to put her phone away before she said anything else weird. Weirder. She had crossed the threshold of weird long, long ago.

The poster of Roxy and the Boosters (from their 2008 tour of Europe, the limited edition version based off their album cover for 2006’s platinum-selling Forget About It specifically) stared down at Leanne from it’s enshrined place on her wall. She took a long look at the poster and regained her conviction. Weird or not, Roxy deserved the effort.

The concert stage towered over them the night of the event. The crowd was only just starting to gather, and at Leanne’s insistence, the looper’s joined them to do a quick security sweep. Leanne pointed at Lee first.

“I’ve warded the quad against zombification, set sensors along the beaches so we’ll know of any aquatic threats, and arranged with Principal Goodwell to shut down any extraneous school systems so as to avoid malfunctions.”

Leanne nodded and pointed to Harley next.

“I’ve got drones patrolling the perimeter and I got all the essential functions of the concert hooked up to this here monitor,” Harley said, showing off a handheld tablet. “We’ll know if anything goes out of line.”

Finally, Leanne pointed to Vell.

“I got like, five hundred runes,” Vell said. He had sore wrists from doing so much time carving, but he also had one of almost every known variety of rune. He opened up his sizable bookbag to display that it was entirely empty of books and entirely full of tiny stone tablets.

“You probably should organize those better,” Harley suggested. “What if you need a rune that’s at the bottom of the bag?”

Vell pulled out his phone. He had assembled some sort of kitbashed assembly around it that was part circuitry, part summoning rune, and had it plugged into the charging port.

“I can summon whatever rune I need with voice commands,” Vell said. He pressed a button on the screen and a complex network of software and summoning runes sprang to life. He demonstrated the devices functionality by saying “fireball” and summoning the rune in question to a slot on the back of the phone.

“What the fuck?” Harley said. She’d never even heard of such a device. “How long have we had that?”

“Since about two days ago,” Vell said. “I made it.”

“No, I mean, how long has that sort of tech been around?”

“Since about two days ago,” Vell said. “I made it.”

Harley blinked twice and held up her own phone.

“Yeah hold that still for a second,” Harley said as she snapped a picture of Vell’s invention. “Maybe send this to a patent office later today...”

Deciding to gloss past the fact that Vell had invented entirely new technology on a whim, Leanne pointed at the stage and clapped her hands together.

“I did as much of a security check on the stage as I could,” Lee said. “But it’s only been up for a few hours, and access to the stage is rather restrictive. Trying to give the star of the show some privacy.”

“Is she even here yet?”

“Yeah, she got here a few hours ago,” Vell said.

“Did you see her?”

“God, I wish,” Vell said. “I could just sort of feel it.”

Leanne clapped her hands together, pointed at her heart, and then at her head, while she stared at Vell.

“No, no, you’re not crazy, I felt it too,” Vell said. “Like the air got a little bit more electric.”

The two begun to gush about the perceived changes in the atmosphere while the other half of the quartet took a small step further away.

“Should we be worried about them?” Harley whispered.

“Probably,” Lee said. She decided to wait to intervene until after the concert, to see if they went back to normal. Lee knew better than most how strange a person could act under the right circumstances.

Harley’s tablet beeped, and she took a quick look at the screen. Vell and Leanne immediately halted their conversation to look over her shoulder. Harley shrugged enough to bump them each in the chin and took a step away.

“It’s fine, you guys,” Harley said. She gestured to the stage. “Some tech guy just plugged in a new amp.”

On stage, a man in a black shirt had just plugged in a large cable while two more wheeled in a large, archaic looking amplifier. Harley looked down at her readouts. That wasn’t part of the concert setup. She decided to keep that info to herself lest it make Leanne’s head explode. She and Vell already had weird looks on their faces. Especially weird ones, in fact.

“What’s up with you two? Somebody fart?”

“No,” Vell said. “I can feel something. It’s…”

His sentence and his thoughts came to an end when a sturdy black boot stomped on to the stage.

“What’s up E-O-C?”

A boisterous cheer rang out as Roxy Roiland stepped on stage. While Vell and Leanne lost their minds, Harley took note of Roxy’s red jacket, plentiful ear piercings, and undercut hairstyle. It had a lot in common with Joan’s style, which almost concerned Harley before she came to the realization that Vell just had a thing for punk chicks. She could hardly fault him. Harley didn’t usually go for older women, but Roxy was good looking by anyone’s standards.

Roxy enjoyed the adulation of the crowd for a second before waving them down. Once they were settled, she raised the mic to her lips.

“Don’t get too hyped, the real show doesn’t start for an hour or so,” Roxy said. “But I got a hell of a soundcheck for you.”

Roxy walked across stage and slapped the side of the massive, out-of-place amp.

“Picked up this bad boy at a crazy spooky place back in London,” Roxy said. “It’s probably wicked cursed, but I’ve been dying to try it out.”

The excitement running through Leanne and Vell began to turn to fear. They started to try and push their way through the crowd, to get as close as possible to the stage, but they were slowed by the simple fact of everyone else trying to do the exact same thing. Even Leanne’s prodigious strength could only do so much to cut through the makeshift mosh pit.

Roxy turned up the dials which, naturally, went all the way up to eleven, and had a roadie hand her a guitar. She leaned on the amp and gave it another smack for good measure.

“Let’s give this baby a -oh.”

A single metal band around the middle of the amp came loose. A small flare of electricity jumped from the amp to Roxy’s fingertip, and her hair stood on end instantly. Leanne clenched her jaw so hard she nearly cracked a tooth.

The amp began to fall apart entirely, revealing the elaborate cage of rune-carved metal below it, which fell apart in turn. As both outer layers of the prison fell to pieces, the prisoner was revealed: A skeleton of charred, blackened bone, mostly human in appearance but for the long, segmented tail extending from the hips, and the curved horns jutting from the forehead. The demonic skeleton began to crackle with blue lightning, reanimating it with a semblance of cursed life.

“Oop, look at that,” Roxy said. “Wasn’t haunted, but it was possessed! You should all probably-”

Roxy never got to finish her sentence. The electric demon unfurled massive wings of lightning, sending out a shockwave that engulfed her, the first few rows of the audience, and eventually the entire island. The last thing anyone heard was Leanne screaming at the top of her lungs.

Vell and Leanne dove for cover behind the event fencing. Lee and Harley walked casually behind and stood in place. They weren’t trespassing -yet, at least- and the obsessive duo’s attempts at stealth were only making them more conspicuous.

“Alright, we have to break in, disassemble that amp, exorcise the demon inside, then get out, all without anybody noticing,” Vell said. “Easy. Lee, Harley, you two create a distraction-”

“Shouldn’t you guys be the distraction? I’m the tech expert and Lee’s the magic expert,” Harley said. She and Lee knelt down to the level of the two skulkers for easier conversation. “If we’re disassembling and then exorcising, we should take point.”

“Yeah, but-”

“But you and Leanne are hoping you’ll run into Roxy backstage,” Harley said. Vell looked at Leanne, and then both nodded in unison. At least they were honest about it, Harley mumbled to herself.

“You two are getting a little weirdly involved in this,” Harley said. “Maybe you really should sit it out.”

“They’ll be alright,” Lee said. “Let’s just go in, and if anyone asks we can, I don’t know, say my father is willing to pay for a private meeting with Ms. Roiland, or something.”

“Wait, could we just actually do that?”

“No, actually, Ms. Roiland has something of a blood feud with my parents,” Lee said. “My mother used to be a pop singer, you see, and during some awards show she apparently annoyed Ms. Roiland so much she threatened to, quote, ‘cave her tits in with a guitar if she does that nasally fucking laugh at me again’.”

“Hey, I’m starting to see why you guys like this chick so much,” Harley said.

“The excuse won’t last long but it will at least stop us from getting arrested for the trespassing we’re about to do,” Lee said. She stood up and found herself face to face with the word “security” printed on somebody’s vest.

“About that trespassing,” the security guard said.

“Right. Well then,” Lee said. “We’ll be leaving, I suppose.”

The guard nodded, but Vell had other ideas.

“No, we’re not going anywhere, it’s really important that we get in there,” Vell said. “It’s a matter of life and death.”

“Then die,” the security guard said. Harley tried to stifle a chuckle.

“Not my death,” Vell said. He scrambled to come up with a workable story and settled for reaching into his pocket. He held up the rune-finding gimmick he’d attached to his phone.

“This is my, uh, demon detector, that we invented, uh, recently, in the demon-detecting department,” Vell said. “And it says with one-hundred percent certainty that there is a demon somewhere in the vicinity of this concert venue!”

“Man that’s some shit you glued to a phone,” the security guard said.

“Hey, I put a lot of work into this, actually,” Vell said, his offense very genuine now. His new invention looked rough, but it worked just fine. “All new tech looks a bit rough at first.”

“Yeah, well go look rough somewhere else.”

The door to a trailer just beyond the fencing slammed open.

“You better listen to Huel, I saw that dude wrestle a manticore once,” Roxy shouted. She stepped out of her trailer, gestured to herself, and then waved the four of them away. “There you go. You have seen me, I have spoken to you, now please get out of here before my man here has to throw you around. You seem nice, Huel would hate to bruise you.”

“I would enjoy it, actually,” Huel said.

Lee waited to give Leanne and Vell the chance to speak first. They did not seize it. She checked up on them and saw that they were both entirely frozen in awe.

“What’s with you guys anyway?” Roxy asked.

“They say they’ve got to save you from a demon,” Huel scoffed.

“Hey, it’s more likely than you think,” Roxy said. “Weird shit just sort of happens here. Back in my day-”

Roxy froze mid-sentence. A look of dawning comprehension washed over her face, and she turned, wide-eyed, to Vell. Their eyes met, and the electric revelation Roxy had experienced transferred over to him. Roxy pointed at Vell, and Vell pointed right back at Roxy.

“You!”

“You?”