Vell Harlan and the Doomsday Dorms

“Alright, Vell Harlan, let’s do a quick recap of your situation,” Kim said.

“We really don’t have to,” Vell sighed. Kim did it anyway.

“You devoted all of yesterday to an endeavor which you are not good at, don’t enjoy, aren’t getting paid for, and is actively detrimental to your academic career,” Kim said. “You got so overwhelmed by this newfound responsibility you forgot your studies, had to spend most of your evening bothering your classmates and the rest of it desperately trying to catch up on your studies, which caused you to lose sleep. So now you’re up for round two, except sleep-deprived this time?”

“It still has to get done,” Vell said. “And hey, this time I have people already making spare notes for me, so I don’t have to go through that whole thing again!”

“Oh, good, one problem among several dozen resolved,” Samson said. “It’s time to face the music, Vell, this is whole teaching thing is a whomper.”

“Scientifically speaking, it has whomped,” Alex said. “Freddy and I ran the calculations.”

“You can’t calculate for that,” Vell said.

“Yes you can,” Alex said. “I have the math right here.”

She held up a complex sheet of facts and figures, which Vell ignored. Hawke grabbed it to take a closer look.

“Hmm, carry the two, account for time...add in neglecting Skye,” Hawke mumbled. “Oh geez, this is actually worse than I thought. You got to quit, Vell.”

“I am not quitting,” Vell said. “Not while there’s no replacement.”

Though he had spent a sleepless night in search of a substitute, Dean Lichman had not yet found a suitable replacement for Professor Nguyen. Since he was not quite so close to Vell to be aware of all the difficulties he was facing in his new role, the Dean had no qualms about allowing Vell to continue. Those who were much closer had significantly more qualms. Almost all possible qualms, in fact.

“I don’t know where this stubbornness is coming from, Vell,” Kim said. “But I hope you get over it soon, for your sake.”

“Sorry I’m trying to help people,” Vell grunted. “Maybe you’re right, I should just tell several hundred students to go fuck themselves because I’m more important, apparently.”

“Ugh, you’re starting to sound like me,” Alex grunted.

“Look, I appreciate the concern, but I’m handling it,” Vell said. “Yeah, I got a little behind yesterday, but I also had to carve and combine an entire nine-rune sequence for that Shamaxus guy.”

“Nine?”

“Yeah,” Vell said. “I know they were only a few lines each, but that’s still a lot of work.”

“I know, but Vell, I was in charge of hauling the reliquary back to the archaeology lab,” Alex said. “There were definitely only eight runes on that thing.”

All eyes turned to Vell, and he shook them off.

“That can’t be right, if I’d broken the sequence the whole thing never would’ve worked, the Runelord would’ve escaped by now,” Vell said. Then his forehead wrinkled. “Unless I missed the ‘charge’ rune, that’d leave the whole sequence with barely enough energy to last-”

In the distance, the archaeology lab blew up. The conversation died down as the shockwave passed through the room and rattled the shelves of Professor Nguyen’s office.

“I was in a hurry, alright?”

***

One time loop and a repaired rune sequence later, the Runelord had been imprisoned for a second, more permanent time, and Vell had gone right back to work as a professor. Nothing Alex had been able to say to him had made any difference, so she stuck to watching from the sidelines as Vell marched into the dining hall, got something to eat, and marched right back out. He didn’t even stop to sit down and relax.

“Is it really that bad?” Freddy asked.

“It’s worse, if anything,” Alex said. Freddy didn’t even know about the Runelord or the explosions. “Vell’s having a tough time with this.”

“It’s weird to think that after everything he’s been through, teaching is what gives him the most trouble,” Freddy said.

“He’d probably be doing a lot better if it weren’t for...you know,” Alex mumbled. “Professor Nguyen.”

As much as the rigors of academic life were challenging Vell, the pressure and guilt were even worse. He would be more willing to step back if he didn’t feel like he had to live up to Professor Nguyen’s legacy, at least, Alex was sure of that.

“I get it,” Freddy said. “I didn’t really know Professor Nguyen that well, because she terrified me-”

Alex nodded in agreement. She had met Nguyen only once, but the memory of that stare haunted her.

“-but it seemed like Vell really respected her.”

“Very much so,” Alex said. “And I guess the feeling was mutual. She wouldn’t have asked him to do this if she didn’t think he was capable.”

“I don’t think she really knew what she was asking, though.”

While Vell certainly had the knowledge required to be a teacher, he did not have the temperament, the resources, and most crucially, the time necessary to dedicate himself to it. His life had been a clusterfuck in six different ways before all this had begun, and now it was a clusterfuck in at least seven. Possibly more.

“I know. I wish there was something I could do to help,” Alex said. “I feel like shit, not being able to help Vell after all he’s-.”

Alex almost managed to take another bite of her lunch before some of her braincells sparked. She froze with a piece of lettuce dangling right in front of her open mouth.

“Alex? You look like you had an epiphany,” Freddy said.

“Because I did,” Alex said. “I need to go.”

She abandoned her salad, gave Freddy a kiss on the cheek (an act which caused him to turn bright red), and then ran away. She knew what she needed to do, but it would require some preparation. This sort of thing didn’t come naturally to her.

***

“-And that mostly covers the Ikoshi Method,” Vell said. He checked the time. “And perfect timing, because we are about done.”

A few hands in the classroom went up.

“Sorry, I really don’t have time for questions,” Vell said. “I’ll be here- I might be here tomorrow, though, so if we have time I can answer it then.”

Vell returned to Professor Nguyen’s office before he could get pestered any further. He made it about halfway through packing up his papers before someone knocked on his door.

“I don’t really have office hours,” Vell said. “But if you’re desperate, I guess-”

“Vell, it’s me,” Alex said. Vell opened the door for her, and she reviewed some notecards in her hands as she stepped through.

“Alex, what’re you doing?”

“I’m not good at this kind of stuff, I want to make sure I’m doing it right,” Alex said.

“Alex, I swear to god, if you cast some kind of spell on me-”

Alex tucked the notecards away and threw her arms wide, and Vell got worried she really was going to cast a spell on him. He flinched, but the green glow he was expecting never came. Instead, Alex stepped forward and grabbed him in one of the most uncomfortable hugs of his life.

“I’m sorry about Professor Nguyen,” Alex mumbled. Vell bit his tongue.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. She was-” Vell’s words caught in his throat. “She made her choice.”

“She was ready to go, but you weren’t ready for her to leave,” Alex said. “I’m sorry you couldn’t help her, Vell. But what you’re doing isn’t going to change anything.’

“That isn’t- get off me,” Vell said. He shook Alex off and went back to the desk to pack up his things. “I’m not doing this because of- I mean, I am doing it for her, but she asked me to! For the students.”

“You’re doing it for you, Vell,” Alex said. “You want to pour yourself into this and make up for the fact you think you didn’t do enough.”

“Of course I didn’t do enough,” Vell snapped. “If I’d done enough, Professor Nguyen would still be alive.”

Vell grabbed the last of his papers, slammed them into his bag, and then collapsed into the chair behind the desk.

“She came to save me when I got kidnapped,” Vell said. “And I couldn’t even...”

He should’ve done more, said more, but instead Vell had backed down. Accepted something he shouldn’t have accepted. He felt like the biggest idiot on Earth.

“Professor Nguyen didn’t need to be saved, Vell. She was ready. She made her choice,” Alex said. “You just need to honor it.”

“I am honoring it,” Vell said. He gestured to the desk in front of him. “This is me honoring it.”

“Vell. Look at me.”

When Vell looked up to face Alex, she was holding a mirror right in front of him. All he could see was his own face, with coarse stubble on his chin and dark circles under his eyes. He had grabbed at or toyed with his hair out of stress enough that it was a tangled mess.

“Do you think that’s what honor looks like?”

“Honor is more of an internal quality, the fact I need a shower has nothing to do with it,” Vell said. He shoved Alex’s mirror aside and stood up. “And going after someone’s physical appearance is always kind of a dick move.”

“Sorry. I’m just trying to make a point,” Alex said. “This isn’t good for you. And it’s not what Professor Nguyen would want.”

She stepped up and grabbed Vell by the shoulders. He started to worry another terrible hug was coming, but Alex stopped there.

“You want to take care of her students. Honor her legacy,” Alex said. “I get that. But you’re her student. You’re her legacy. You need to take care of yourself too.”

Vell could not manage to look her in the eye.

“I should’ve done more,” he mumbled.

“You did enough, Vell,” Alex assured him. “You’ve done enough. Give yourself a break.”

Alex leaned in and gave him another hug, much to Vell’s chagrin. He tolerated it for ten seconds before realizing she was probably not going to let go on her own.

“I hate to ruin the mood, Alex, but you really got to work on your hug technique,” Vell said. She stepped back and balled her fists.

“Damn it,” she said. She pulled the notecards back out and scanned them. Now that he had a closer look, Vell could see they were all various diagrams of hugs. “I worked so hard on that. Was it the elbows?”

“Shoulders, actually. Very pointy,” Vell said. “Really need to lead with the chest. Were all your preparations hug-related?”

“Well, yes, I kind of felt like I knew what to say,” Alex said. “I’m terrible at hugging, though, haven’t done it very much.”

“You’ll learn.”

“So, terrible hugging aside...did anything I said help?”

“Ugh. I don’t know, maybe?” Vell said. “I need to sleep on it. I need to sleep in general, frankly.”

“Well, somebody made sure the apocalypse happened early this morning,” Alex said. “You should have plenty of time to rest.”

“Heh. I still have to deal with catching up on notes, among other things,” Vell said.

“Then I’ll get out of your way,” Alex said.

“One more thing, though,” Vell said.

“Yeah?”

Vell held his arms out.

“You need some practice.”

“Okay, hugs. I got it. No shoulders,” Alex said, as she put her shoulders back. “Lead with the chest. Is that...isn’t that kind of weird, with my breasts?”

“It’s only weird if you make it weird.”

“Which I just did?”

“Which you just did,” Vell said. He put his arms down and grabbed his bag. “We’ll try some other time. Good night, Alex. And thanks.”

Alex stepped aside and let Vell exit the office. He had a lot to think about. Probably too much.

***

A multicolored elephant stared down at Vell from a shelf when he woke up. He had no idea what to do with the elephant, so for now it sat on a shelf in his room, adorning the same wall as Roxy’s guitar and Prickly the Cactus. The inexplicable ornament glared down at him with a judgmental look in its mismatched eyes.

“I really wish I knew what was up with you.”

Right next to him, Skye stirred and checked the time. She sighed as soon as she saw the clock.

“Vell,” she mumbled. “Are you talking to the elephant at six AM?”

Vell delayed a moment, hoping Skye might go back to sleep and forget this had ever happened. She didn’t.

“Yes.”

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Skye said. “And also that I’m up in half an hour anyway.”

The rigors of academia did not leave much time for sleeping in. Skye was not feeling the year end squeeze quite as hard as Vell, but she still felt it. She woke up, got dressed, and turned on the coffee machine.

“So, you still going to be playing professor today?”

Vell finished getting dressed, sat down at the table, and watched the coffee drip into the pot.

“Nah.”

“You should think- wait, really?”

“Yes, really,” Vell said. “I think I got in over my head.”

Everything that Alex and the others had been trying to tell him finally made sense. Vell was trying to fix something that he couldn’t fix, and overexerting himself in the process. No one would want that, least of all Professor Nguyen. Were she still alive, she would’ve given him a scolding lecture about it, even.

“Good,” Skye said. She gave Vell a kiss on the cheek. “I’ve never been so proud of you for giving up.”

“Don’t get used to it,” Vell said. “I’m going to head out a little early anyway. I owe Dean Lichman a heads up.”

“We’ll have to throw you a retirement party later.”

“I just got some of my spare time back, Skye, we’re not using it on parties,” Vell said. He kissed her goodbye and then got ready to face the day. He hoped Dean Lichman wouldn’t mind losing him as a teacher too much. The Dean had enough going on without being down a professor right before test season -but that was not Vell’s problem. Mostly. He stopped thinking about it before he could talk himself back into teaching. He had to look after himself too.

The door to Dean Lichman’s office was open, so Vell stepped inside. Dean Lichman looked up from his computer with his usual pleasant smile.

“Mr. Harlan. How is the teaching going?”

“Going to be honest, Dean, it sucks real bad.”

“Ah.”

“I came to tell you I’m calling it quits,” Vell said. “I just can’t handle the extra responsibility right now. I’m sorry if that-”

“Allow me to spare you the speech and a significant amount of guilt,” Dean Lichman interjected. “The school board hired a substitute earlier this morning. I’ve just finished off their paperwork.”

“Oh.”

That slightly defanged his climactic decision to quit, but Vell would at least be spared the guilt of leaving the classes unattended.

“I was going to go meet them in a moment, but since you’re here, would you mind accompanying me?” Dean Lichman asked. “I’d ask you to hand over Professor Nguyen’s lesson plans, at the very least. If you could help acclimate the new substitute, it would be appreciated, but I understand if you’re busy.”

“I’ve got time to talk,” Vell said. Easing the transition would be simple, at least.

Dean Lichman finished his work and headed out towards the rune labs, and Vell followed.

“So who is the new sub? Anyone notable?”

“I’m afraid I don’t track the academic community closely enough to say,” Dean Lichman said. “Their resume looked impressive enough, at least. Is the name Adair Kristali familiar?”

“Not really,” Vell said. It hadn’t popped up in any textbook or research paper he’d ever read, at least. “Seems kind of-”

Four wrinkles appeared on Vell’s forehead as if from nowhere, and disappeared just as fast. Vell took off running towards the lab, leaving Dean Lichman in the dust. The name Adair Kristali didn’t mean anything on its own, but as an anagram, it meant something very, very bad. Vell slammed the door to the classroom open and stepped through. A piece of bone-white chalk scratched out a name written by a hand of blackened bone.

“Kraid.”

Alistair Kraid turned and aimed his trademark sinister smirk at Vell.

“That’s 'Professor' Kraid, Harlan.”