Usurper of Fire

The two exiles awoke from a rough night of sleep. Cadivus gathered some bugs and berries for breakfast, and he gave half to her.

“This is going to be gross,” he said. “Just pretend you’re giving a slobby to get out of trouble.” He tossed the mix into his mouth and chewed slowly.

Thermia reluctantly put the handful into her mouth and chewed. “Wow! This is great!” she said, her mouth still full.

“Takes me back to religion studies.”

“They served bugs and berries at your classes?”

“Nope! Anyway, I have come up with a plan. That sticky hippy said he was heading east, so we’ll just walk that way. We’ll find him, kick his ass, break his harmonica, and then drag him back to confess.”

“Yes!” she cheered. “Our love for our comrades will guide your blade!”

“Well, yeah. Our like for our comrades will guide it certainly.”

“What do you mean? They were your only friends for years!”

“Well, true,” he said. “But they only hung out with me when I was paying for drinks. The other day was the first time we hung out outside of a tavern, and look where that got us.”

“I never got that vibe from them but okay…”

“Fantastic! Now, let’s be on our way. We will head to Motob and see if we can devise where in the east this leafer is heading.”

The two headed toward the town that was now only a few hours away. Before they arrived, Thermia decided they should use alter egos so they wouldn’t rouse suspicion. They decided to pretend they were fishers from the west coast, heading east for new opportunities. She made them grass hats from the fauna to sell the illusion.

As they made their way into town they noticed it was a lot cleaner than Dreyhal. No dead people in the streets. No smell of feces in the air. And all of the working whores had their teeth still. Everyone smiled and talked to each other which was good news. It would make it easy to find information.

The two approached a lone baker first.

“Dear baker,” Cadivus said. “We are fisherpeople from the west. How do you do?”

The baker momentarily stopped pouring flour over his breads. “You two don’t smell like fish…”

“Just give me a few more days without bathing,” Thermia remarked.

“Heyo!” Cadivus said, as they high-fived. He turned back to the baker. “My dear baker… My name is Kettlepot, and this is my sister Brittlebuns”

They both bowed slightly.

“Brittlebuns…” Thermia muttered to him.

“We are seeking voyage to the east. Say, near good farming lands by chance…”

The baker eyed them up and down. “If you’re siblings, how come you have different accents and look of no relations?"

“We’re also thespians.”

“None my business what two ladies do at night…” The baker said. “that being said, let me give tell–”

“Wait…” Cadivus put his hand up. “Wait a moment. Why are we getting exposition from a hideous, ugly man?” He grimaced and shrugged. “I’m not even going to describe you out loud or in my head but you sir are the stuff of nightmares.”

The baker nodded in agreement.

“No, no, no. What we need is someplace sexy, damp and dangerous. Some place like…” As he scanned the town, his eye became fixated on a dark building in the corner of town, the roof was falling apart and the guards seemed to steer clear of it. The sign read “Damp N Rousing.” “There! That is where we tick off this quest log.”

Thermia nodded excitedly.

“As long as I can use the bathroom there.” she walked toward it, swinging her arms wildly.

He grabbed her wrist and whispered into her ear.

“Not like that, dear. You walk like a gorilla through a thick brush.”

She looked at him and blew out her cheeks.

He pushed them back in. “We need a good, confident, strong canter. Shoulders back, chest up and hips thrusting ever so slightly with each step. As you approach, they should be wondering whether you want to fight them or fuck them.”

Thermia nodded as she fixed her posture.

“So, what should I do with my hands then?”

“I don’t know. Never figured that part out. Let's go!”

He walked off making awkward hand movements that closely resembled a runway walk. She followed suit, trying her best not to stumble and, clenched her tongue in her teeth. They approached the tavern’s doorman, and Cadivus leaned in and said a few words. The doorman made a grossed-out face and waved them inside.

“What did you say to him?” she asked as they walked inside.

“I asked him if we could come inside because my retarded cousin needed to take a shit.”

Her jaw dropped.

He pushed her lower jaw back up. “Careful, dear. They’ll think you’re advertising.”

They cantered to a table and sat across from each other. Afterward, she made weird faces and rocked back and forth.

“The bathroom is over there, love.” Cadivus said, pointing.

She shot up and ran off while he scanned the room to see which clientele could be of service. A waitress walked over and asked if he wanted anything.

He was about to order a round when he suddenly realized he was broke. “In a moment, my dear. Still looking at the menu.”

“We don’t have menus…” the waitress said, puzzled.

He waved her off and scanned the room once more. Seeing as how it was still mid-day, most patrons were just run-of-the-mill alcoholics. However, at one table came laughter, cheers, and clinking money. Gambling, perfect. He approached the table of seven with his patented walk.

A loud thud hit the table. “Ow!” a man yelled. “My elbow slipped…”

“You should stop licking it then!” another man shouted, and they all had a laugh.

The disgruntled loser tossed a coin across the table.

“Don’t make excuses,” A softer voice said. “Be a man.”

As Cadivus walked over, he realized he hadn’t seen one of the contenders well previously. She was a beautiful woman that had dark skin. Her curly hair sat at her shoulders, and her eyes…Well, he was too far away to describe them properly. She wore light leather armor with decorative metal emblems on it. She had a colorful beaded bracer with reds, yellows and greens. He adjusted his boner, putting it in his waistband as approached the table.

“What the hell do you want?” she asked in a familiar tone most women used with him. Her voice also carried a vague accent that he had not heard before.

“I couldn’t help but overhear. Slam hands is a game I have been wanting to try for some time now,” he said, gesturing to the table.

“It is called arm wrestling, you dumb twat.”

Everyone laughed.

“All the better,” he said. “Wrestling is a pastime for me as well.”

“Where have you wrestled exactly?” she asked.

“Oh, just with my thoughts. Mostly at night.”

Everyone laughed again, this time with him.

“So, what is the wager for a round?”

“Normally, it is a coin per round,” she said. “But you do not have any coins on you do you?”

Cadivus tapped his pockets and shrugged.

She counted her coins, not glancing up at him. “So, I am guessing you want to bet that dagger you have in your waistband.”

“Well, I have two rules for gambling: never bet my manhood and–”

“I am not talking about your pathetic excuse for a dick in your waistband, muffin. I am talking about the seven-inch steel on your back.”

Surprised, he pulled the dagger from behind him and held it up, so she could see the extravagant metal work on the handle and blade. “I must be tired. It is a six-inch after all.”

“I do appreciate balance in my waistband.” He winked.

“Does that even make sense?” a man asked.

Another man grunted. “I think he’s trying to say his penis is—”

“Okay! That is enough of…” The woman sighed as she collected herself. “Decent dagger…could probably fetch, let us say ten coins from a pawn.” She finally looked up to catch Cadivus’s eyes.

“I appreciate your low ball,” Cadivus said. “As I hope you would appreciate mine. However, this dagger is worth at least ten times that amount, I’m afraid.”

“Yeah? Well if you are scared to lose it, I understand why.” She rolled her wrist and stretched her fingers.

“Ten coins it is. Just wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page. I’m not used to getting fucked so quickly when meeting a strong, beautiful woman such as yourself.”

The crowd laughed and hooted as she smirked and gestured for him to sit. He placed his dagger next to her ten coins.

“Let me tell you something about me,” she said. “Before you lose your only possession on this earth.”

He normally hated hearing people’s back stories, but they usually weren’t this pretty or smelled this good.

“I come from the lands to the far west, past the sea. From the plains of Naobi. Where men are warriors and women make babies.”

“Wow,” he muttered. “Sounds like literally every other place ever but go on…”

“I grew up with many brothers and battled them each day and each night. I am the only woman to ever make it into our warriors circle. I have never been bested in combat, I have never backed down from a fight, and I have never lost a test of strength. I am the warrior known by the name, Aries Ekio.

“Ekio!” the table cheered.

“Cool,” Cadivus said, putting his hand out for the contest.

She looked at him puzzled but put her hand in his. They felt rough yet delicate. She squeezed with sizable strength.

“Go on my count,” One of the men said, holding both their hands. “Three, two, one, go!”

Cadivus slammed her hand down on the table. The table went silent.

“I have a brother too. That’s probably why I won.” He reached for his reward.

Ekio slammed her own dagger between his hand and the betting pool.“Double or nothing!” She slid over twenty coins.

“Look, I really don’t want to take more of your money, I’m sure you need it for more training, oils, and beads.”

“Double or nothing!” Ekio said, grinding her teeth.

“If you insist…” He placed his hand in hers once more, her palms now sweaty.

The referee grabbed their hands.

“Three, two, one, go!”

Cadivus didn’t slam her arm down immediately this time. Instead he stared into her gorgeous—yes now he can describe them—gorgeous brown eyes. The look of determination and a light hue of…pink…Wait. His elbow slipped, and she slammed his hand on the table. The crowd cheered , patting her back. She had the smuggest look on her face as she stood there still as a statue.

Cadivus maintained eye contact with her. He knew his elbow didn’t slip; it was pushed. Yet he still couldn’t help but smile.

“Interesting technique you have there.”

“As much as I would love to remain stoic right now…” She got up, walked over to him, and brought her face down to his. “In your face! In your face! In your face!” she yelled, holding her hand in front of his face.

Everyone laughed.

He had no choice but to sit there and take it. He stood up to shake her hand.

“Could we have a chat in private perhaps?”

She gave a single wave of her hand, and the group groaned as they were sent away.

After they left, he took a man’s drink. “That is a good con you have going here. I have an admiration of creativity.”

“Please. You tried to pull the same thing”–she lowered her voice softly, so others couldn’t hear– “hybrid.”

His heart raced and his waistband got tighter once more. “The better warrior won. Just have a little humility and go back home.”

“I assure you that is not possible,” Cadivus said.

“What? You do not know how to be humble, loser?” she asked, smirking.

“No, not that part. The home part is no longer an option for me. Not unless I finish the quest I am on.”

The smirk fell from her face, and her eyes retreated into her memories.

“I have a feeling we share a similar past…Perhaps this meeting was not by chance, but instead of destined fate…”

“First off,” she said. “Destined fate are synonyms and should not be used to describe each other.”

Cadivus nodded.

“Second, I am not sleeping with you just because I am a hybrid and the only other woman you know the name of.”

He opened his mouth to retort but nodded.

“Third, you have no idea of my past, or my future. It is bold of you to assume you could be of any use to me. The man I’m looking for is another like us. One who uses a harmonica as an instrument of death.”

He laughed to himself, mostly through his nose.

“Did I say something funny?!” Ekio asked.

“You’re not gonna fucking believe this…” He explained what had happened with his run-in with the harmonica man. “Like I said, this is fated destiny.”

She rolled her eyes so hard they almost got stuck.

“We can work together! I already have one comrade with me. We can assemble a team and defeat this evil blowhard once and for all. But first, tell me what this man did to you?”

“I am not ready to reveal that, yet.”

“Good. It will keep this chapter of our lives shorter. Now, we need only to find a couple other good men or warrior women with brothers to assist us.”

“Even if I wanted to, where would we find anyone like that here?” she snapped. “Those guys I was arm wrestling with are the strongest guys in here, and that is not saying much.”

“Hey ya’ll! Guess who’s a couple pounds lighter!” Thermia shouted as she ran toward them.

People glanced over toward her in bemusement.

“Not now, Thermia,” Cadivus said. “We are trying to devise a plan to find more comrades for our quest for absolution. Perhaps we can put up flyers or have a hand job sale…”

Ekio shook her head.

“We will just interview some people and go from there,” Ekio said.

“Only if I get to make the poster,” he said. “I adore arts and crafts.” He tapped his pocket, where he still kept the drawing from Deathicus.