Ugly Bastard

"So that's what happened. That son of a bitch really did me big time. How could they do this to me? I always tried to be the best son for her, best brother for her daughters. I always respected that son of a bitch brother-in-law too. Damn how could they do this. She raised me as her own since my mother died while I was still a baby. They were always so kind too. But just as my father died, they cut me off like a rotten limb?" Said Noah aloud sitting on the ground in the forest.

"Damn, what do I do now? And why the hell my head hurts so much, if I was healed from poison?" He wondered aloud as if someone could give him an answer.

*Answer: Users headache is a consequence of a memory erasing procedure. This state has been severely worsened by performing memory restoring procedures in sequence within a short time span.* Answered the same emotionless voice that spoke to him like a soulless puppet.

"Great. I did not die from poison but now wish I would be dead just from using my own system…." Sighed Noah.

"Wait what? My system?" Exclaimed Noah, his eyes going wide.

/System window/ willed Noah in his mind. Giving an order with the voice inside his head.

Translucent rectangle appeared in front of him, showing him his own state.

"It loads! It really works! My system works!"  Startled Noah jumping up from the ground in excitement. His headache exploded with vengeance yet even that did not diminish his excitement.

"Ok, ok, lets see the system name…." Said Noah taking heavy breaths and calming himself.

A few moments passed in silence as he looked at his system window with a frozen face.

"System are you fucking with me?" Broke out the words as if something snapped inside him.

*Unable to recognize user inquiry*

"WHAT IS THIS UGLY BASTARD IN THE SYSTEM NAME GRAPH?" Said Noah seething with anger.

*Answer: Initial System name has been corrupted in the transfer process. Troubleshooting process has analyzed the error that occured in the system transfer process as well as all initial data of the soul possessed by the user and found an optimal word pattern match with the best performance.* Answered the system voice.

"Ugly bastard? This is the best system I could get?"  Said Noah with a sigh as if deflating from disappointment. "Well something is better than nothing at all."

/Open skill tree window/ he willed in his mind.

Translucent screen in front of him suddenly  changed form and became black as ink. Black tentacles rushed at him enveloping him entirely until he was totally covered in blackness then he disappeared entirely.

"WHERE AM I?" Asked Noah a moment later, finding himself in the darkness. "Wait…this feeling. I've been here before. The place where my thoughts eco like I am talking aloud. Hold on, white canvas, where's the white canvas? Oh there it is?" Streamed his thoughts into the darkness as if he spoke them aloud.

"So what is this place?" Wondered Noah calming down after seeing the canvas. He was here before and got out safely so there was no need to panic.

*Answer: user is on the skill tree page of his system window*

"This is a skill tree page? Wait, but that's not how it usually is, right? At least no one ever mentioned something like that in any book I've read." Said Noah in confusion.

"System is there a problem with my….with you?….or is it with me? Anyway, is there a problem?" He asked into the darkness.

*Answer: On rare occasions the system may create additional dimensions for the user to learn the skill that needs a special type of comprehension. In the chronicle of the Great Library such rare occasions are named heroic souls. People with heroic souls have been granted special types of systems that normal souls are too weak to hold. Such systems can sometimes have unique skills in their skill tree that are too hard to train in the normal world environment. As the user poses a heroic soul, the system deemed it necessary to create a special dimension for the skill comprehension*

"Great Library."

*Source of Godly knowledge possessing the record of everything in the world also known as Akashic Chronicle.*

"Oh." Said Noah, remembering some mentions of it in one of the books he read.

"Alright, so if I have this strange dimension, it means I am special case?"

*Affirmative.* Answered System

"How special are we talking here. You know some examples that had this type of soul as me?"

*Yes. In the Chronicle of Great Library it is written that many among the heroic soul possessors have become Server administrators and even developers*.

"Now explain in "human" once again" Said Noah with frustration after hearing some unknown words.

*People with heroic souls has become Deities and Gods looking over entire worlds and galaxy's"

*Well know examples: Hell fire lord Samael, Gilgamesh, Odin, Amatersu,…* Spoke the system listing the names that Noah only ever heard from myths and legend. 

"Ok, ok I get the gist. So I am really great." He said stoping systems emotionless recount.

*Heroic soul is only referring to the talent you are in possession of.* Answered system countering his words.

*In the Chronicle of Great Library it is stated, only a small portion of these people achieved greatness, and most of whom wasted this gift, by for example becoming alcoholics or drug addicts and ending life in misery as bums. On many occasions they have turned into sinners, criminals and murderers ending in a noose or electric chair. Some, although achieved partial success, have veered off the immortality path and never reached Godhood before death, leaving in their path only meager achievement barely better than those left by some normal souls. Putting yourself on an equal pedestal as those rare occasions that managed to reach the top would be inappropriate from a statistics point of view, as your chance of ending up dead in a gutter after living your life as a waste of world resources is far higher than reaching Godhood.*

"You just ruined all my motivation before I even began my path to greatness you asshole"  Said Noah with dejection and frustration at the same time.

*Still your chances are greater than people with normal souls* 

"Sigh. I get it. I have to work hard. So where's my skill tree?" Asked Noah deciding to move forward with examination of his system that he dreamed to have his entire life. Even these few discouragement from system were not enough to ruin his happiness from finally awakening the system.

*You are watching at it.* Answered system'a voice.

"All I see is this white canva….." Started to say Noah but his words stopped half way as realization downed on him.

"...."

*....*

"............"

*............*

"WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THIS? WHERE ARE MY SKILLS? HOW DO I DEVELOP THEM? WHAT SKILL SHOULD I GET FIRST? WHAT TASKS I NEED TO PERFORM TO GAIN NEW SKILL? THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE! JUST A BUNCH OF WEIRDOS TALKING TO EACH OTHER!!!!!!!"

*Answer: In the process of system activation it has been found that there is no data library containing enough information for gradual development of users skills. The second best option was connecting to the data source with the most information regarding the system word pattern match: UGLY BASTARD.* System started to explain in plain voice.

*Although a gradual and measured development plan can not be created, by learning from the people in this so-called "Comment section" the user has the chance to reach the full development of his system. It has been analysed and confirmed that the people listing here are in possession of all the knowledge the user may need. They are the most d̶e̶g̶e̶n̶e̶r̶a̶t̶e elite beings you may find.* Said system voice.

"Oi, there was something there that you wanted to say instead of ''elite ``.''

*Answer: system does not understand your question*

"😑" Noah silently stared into darkness

*🙄* Silence spread in the world as system did not add anything else.

"Fine. So tell me how did I get cured from poison?" Asked Noah with another sigh.

*Answer: one of the d̶e̶g̶e̶n̶e̶r̶a̶t̶es enlightened beings in this "comment section" has performed a ritual that was applicable in regards to Ugly Bastard system capability. Which created a new skill"

"😑 There's that unsaid word again." Thought aloud Noah. "I understood only half, but what I get is that one of the people shared an information that allowed me to open a new skill, right?" Rationalized Noah aloud.

/Open skill list./ Willed Noah and before him another canvas opened. This one instead of a pure white background had a very realistic picture of a blue sky and green grass on a hill. The only questionable thing was some kind of crest in the form of a bent window in the corner, and three yellow rectangular objects in the middle of the blue sky. One of those three rectangular objects had words "Skill List", the second signed "Very important stuff" and the last one had the word "Homework" under it.

"What's this?" Asked Noah in confusion.

*Answer: system is monitoring the "comment section a.k.a. CS" live 24/7 while saving any and all useful and applicable to system Ugly Bastard information into the system library to create an educational material for future possessors of the same or very similar systems. The picture you see is called a "desktop". 

Desktop background pictures may be changed to any of the user's preferences. Three yellow rectangles are called: File Folder, or in short folder. Folder is a place to hold things. Open the file folder to see all the things contained in this folder.

"I get what the "Skill List" folder is for, but what is the "Very important stuff" and "Homework" folder are for?"

*Homework folder is a special type of dimensional pocket, with an unlimited space that can contain any object user don't want others to find*

"The name is somehow misleading" Said Noah.

*According to systems analysis this is the name with a best performance of hiding your possessions from "Scan Pocket", "Identify possessions" and "Dimensional thief" skills listed in the Great Library, with ability to look into personal dimensional pocket*

"I see. So it is named this way for a reason. Fine then. What about the other one?" Asked Noah looking at another folder.

*The "Very important stuff" folder is a normal dimensional pocket with limited space and no special ability. It needs to be updated for enlarging and it can be scanned by "Scan Pocket" and "Identify possessions" skill without problem, as well as be robed with the help of "Dimensional thief" skill*

"I see……" said calmly Noah. But felt a slight anxiety. He felt like this system chipped away his normal and very ordinary logic piece by piece. And it scared him what he would look like at the end of that process.