Ugly Bastard System

"Something feels really off..."

...Its just your imagination. You successfully retrieved your cameras, successfully escaped, and now you are successfully taking a bath to relax yourself, right? So just relax.

Gojima was still feeling that something was not right, but if something went wrong, he would not be relaxing in the bathtub so peacefully, right?

Maybe he was overthinking. Was it the shame and guilt? He did sneak into the women's changing room... or did he? He could not remember any detail of that room...

"Ubs... are you blocking my memories?"

...Yes, I am. And its all for a good reason so just accept it and relax.

Ubs had no reason to correct him. Better not piss off that extremely scary and dangerous... entity.

It had no idea why she decided to reveal herself. Even thinking about her goals was pointless. Whimsical beings are whimsical. They get amused at something one moment, the very next moment they get bored. So, better stop thinking about it.

"I can't say I like how you can manipulate my memories... but I will take on your words that its for my own good." Gojima simply decided to relax. He had a tough day after all. He felt the warm water soothing.

At that moment, he heard a thump behind him. It came from the wall.

Then came the sound of moaning. The wooden walls were doing a very poor job at blocking the... noise.

"..."

Well, she did say her husband was returning today.

"So much for relaxing." Gojima got up from the bathtub. He had no interest in eavesdropping on his neighbors having sex.
He wiped his body clean, wore fresh cloths and lay on his bed.

Deep breaths...

Hmm... meditation might be helpful for boner control in public areas. Especially in your case...whah! Its been a while since you put a punch through me.

It was having too much fun at Gojima's annoyance.

Its not really your fault you know? Its just your... constitution that produces a lot of testosterone. You should either jerk off or work out to get things off. Or you know, how about going to the red light district like the original?

"I'll lose my job if I ever get found out you know?" He already put himself at risk just a couple hours ago.

That is also true. Then how about going to a mixer or something? Meet someone new on the internet?

"...Maybe some other time... but its not going to help me now right?" He didn't want to sweat from working out right after taking a bath. Maybe he should jerk off and get his head clear? But masturbating due to overhearing her neighbors having sex... it doesn't feel right, after everything Hanazono san and her mother did for her.

He will lose all respect for himself.

...Wait, lose all?

"Hey, Ubs! What if you tell me some secret worth of 10 APs and knock me out! Wouldn't that work?"

...I wouldn't recommend that. You cannot afford to use that much energy on a detective module without being bound to a proper detective system. It will kill you.

Gojima deflated. It was such a good idea! "How about losing 1 AP from info or accel thought? It should be equivalent to one ejaculation, right?"

Equivalent, not equal. No orgasm, no dopamine. Thats all.

Sighing, Gojima simply sat down on his bed. "Well, it was worth trying. I am suddenly learning so many aspects of your powers."

I think its time I told you about upgrades. I am not sure you would like to know about minions, though.

"Minions? Yeah, I remember you mentioning about them when you... wait, you advised me about nominating Okada back then. You didn't have any module at that moment, right?"

I advised you based on your own memories of your students' capabilities. It was neither a leap of logic nor some emotional inference on your part, so no restrictions. Okada is better than Kawashima at management, but worse at commu ication. Its the hard fact known to you. No simulations or anything needed for that.

"That hardly makes sense."

There is no need to think too much about it. Let us continue. Well then, upgrades or minions, which one first?

"...Tell me about minions."

Well, minions are basically henchmen, or women, that will help you... commit the crimes if you earn their loyalty.

"Earn... loyalty?"

For females, if you manage to get them addicted to your dick, they will do anything you ask for. For males, just feed them the scraps, if you get what I mean. For those who swing the other way, just swap the favors.

"...I am regretting asking you now."

I know. So, about upgrades now?

Gojima nodded. He might as well learn everything there is to learn in one go. No more sudden expositions.

There are two possible upgrades for you. One, which is much harder, is to increase the number of rounds you will last. Which means, increasing APs. The other, is to decrease the recovery time. Do you want to know how?

"...How?" Having more APs means more supernatural feats. It was hard to ignore. Faster healing does not sound bad either.

The second one can be somehow achieved by regular workout and balanced diet. To increase AP though...

"To increase AP?"

You need to have lots of sex.

"..."

Not with just one person, you need numbers as well as variety. In my opinion, the best way to increase both AP and recovery speed will be to just quit your current job and become a pornstar. Actually, for anyone bound to me, the jobs of pimps or pornstars seem more fitting. So, what do you say?

"I... think I prefer my current job." Gojima meant no offence to the pornstars, but... he was sure that he was definitely not the right person for the job. Just the thought of everyone; including his students, his colleagues, his neighbors seeing him naked and fornicating is...

As expected, I guess? Well, thats enough for UBS 101. Now go jerk off, the sounds have stopped.

He didn't need to, as his horniness was also gone. Nothing like a huge infodump to kill the mood.

 

---

 

"Saki! Dinner's ready!" Saki's mom, Yoshida Mitsuki called her downstairs. The girl just made a loud "Hmm" in reply, nothing else.

Yoshida Saki was lying on her bed, contemplating about her life. Her phone was beside her, which was showing a chatroom of her class. The folks who were the most active in it were mainly the popular kids. The less popular ones made an occasional 'lol' or 'cute' or 'awesome' or something equally stupid. They mainly stuck to their own mini chat groups. She, like the other unpopular ones with almost zero to actually zero friends, were in no chat groups except the main one. They were the ghost members, only sticking to receive the important notifications.

The chatroom was now busy with the discussion on the upcoming cultural festival. Many important topics related to it were being discussed, such as how much cooler will Suzuki kun look in a yukata, or which color of kimono will suit Kurumi chan or Okada san best.

"How stupid." Saki murmured.

It was just as much about herself as it was about the others.

She... had no friends. Over the course of one year, she couldn't manage to make even one. She never managed to mutter the courage to approach them, nor did she allow others to approach her, fearing their eventual disappointment on her plain bland boring self.

She also graduated from her middle school without ever making any friends. Nobody knew her, nobody missed her either. She was like a ghost. She did not manage to make even a single memory there. Except for the memory of her breaking down into tears.

She thought she would be able to change herself in high school. After graduating from the middle school, her first idea was to ask her mother to teach her makeup.

But then, something scary happened.

It was as if hundreds and thousands of people started shouting inside her head.

'DON'T DO IT!'
'DON'T DO IT!'
'DON'T DO IT!'
'DON'T DO IT!'
'DON'T DO IT!'
.
.
.
'DON'T DO IT!!!'

 

She got very scared back then and started screaming right in the middle of the crowd due to paranoia. Thankfully, she was helped by someone.

She never expected to meet the person in her new high school again. She was even the school nurse there! The world is a surprisingly small place.

Unfortunately, due to that incident back then, she could not bring herself to ask her mom. What if... that thing happened again?

But that resulted in another wasteful year. She did not want a repeat of her middle school life.

...Maybe she should try it again this time?