Two Weeks Between Love and Hate

Jillian jolted awake at the sound of a knock on her door.

“Jill, hun, you up?” Her mom’s voice came through. Rubbing sleep from her eyes, Jillian mumbled a response, her hair an absolute mess and stuck to her face.

“Mmm?” she managed.

“Dinner’s almost ready. You joining us?” her mom asked.

Jillian nodded to no one, still half-asleep. “Yeah, . . . sure,” she mumbled out.

“Okay dear, we’ll be downstairs whenever you’re ready,” her mom replied, before her footsteps faded down the hall.

Jillian smacked her lips a few times and rubbed her eyes before it finally registered.

“Dinner?!” she shouted, glancing at her phone. It was almost four-thirty. She’d slept for nearly five hours! Letting out a frustrated groan, she ran her hands through her hair, yanking it free from the dried drool on her face.

“Ow,” heading out of her room and into the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror. Her red curls were a mess, sticking out in all directions. With a sigh, she opted for the easiest solution and pulled her hair into a poofy ponytail, securing it with a hair tie.

Afterwards, Jillian made her way downstairs, her poof ball of a ponytail bouncing with each step. The noise from the kitchen table already reached her ears - her youngest brother making a racket from his highchair, and the aroma of spaghetti wafting through the air. Entering the kitchen, she spotted her mom putting the finishing touches on the meal while her dad was engrossed in a tool magazine. June had let her hair down, probably because Jillian had braided it way too tightly earlier. But Jillian wasn’t upset with her for it; after all, being the only other girl in the house aside from their mom, June had a get out of jail free card with unlimited uses when it came to her.

There was the youngest boy in the house, at barely two years old, sitting in his high chair.

“Come on, Calvin, stop playing with it and eat your food,” urged one of the older brothers, Wendel, as he attempted to spoon-feed Calvin mashed peas. Wendel’s long, dark brown hair matched his father’s. Sitting beside him was Reese, his twin, who was engrossed in his phone, probably texting a girl from school. He sported short, clean-cut hair, which also resembled Damon’s rich chocolate brown. And then there was Lonnie, a bit of a troublemaker, who mostly steered clear of Jillian. Not that she blamed him; she had left home when he was just a baby, so he didn’t have any memories of her, unlike their other siblings—excluding Calvin, of course.

Ginny turned to look at Jillian with a smile.

“Hey there sleepy head, you feeling alright? You slept for quite a while.” Her mom spoke with mild concern, but Jillian waved it away.

“I’m fine, mom. I was just catching up on some lost sleep.” She said as her mom nodded, but gave her a knowing grin.

“Yeah, I heard you woke up quite early. Pretty rare for you, sweetie.”

Jillian narrowed her eyes at her mother before quickly sneaking a piece of french bread, topped with garlic butter from the plate on the counter. Silently walking to the table, she sat down next to June and across from her youngest brother and the twins.

Eagerly gnawing on her bread, she leaned against the table, soaking in the moment. She’d spent so many years away from her family, even a simple spaghetti night felt precious to her. Until she sensed someone’s gaze and looked across the table. She caught Wendel eyeballing her chest. With a furrowed brow, she gulped down her bread and cleared her throat to address her brother.

“Ahem... Excuse me, what the fuck Wendel?” Her tone tinged with accusation. Wendel, looking perplexed, quickly shifted his gaze to Jillian’s face.

“Huh, what?” he replied innocently.

Irritated, she draped an arm over her chest. “Hell do you mean, what? Why are you staring at my chest like that, you fuckin creep?”

“Jillian, watch your language, and Wendel, don’t stare,” their mother interjected.

“What!? I wasn’t staring at your chest!” Wendel protested, though he realized he kind of was.

“What chest?” Reese chimed in, earning him a glare from Jillian as Wendell tried to explain, “I mean, I was, but I was checking out your shirt. Since when are you into MMOs?”

Wendel saw the confused expression on his sister’s face at the term.

“That shirt you’re wearing? It’s from a game called World of Warcraft. It’s like a faction emblem.” He explained.

“Oh...” Jillian mumbled with a mouthful of bread, glancing down at her shirt. “It’s not mine actually. I just borrowed it because it was the least geeky thing I could find,” she explained.

Wendel chuckled at her remark. “Well, hate to break it to you, sis, but wearing that shirt, people are gonna think you’re a geeky gamer girl. They might even ask if you stream.”

Jillian was completely lost in this conversation.

“Ugh, whatever. I wasn’t planning on wearing it out anyway,” she shrugged.

Suddenly, a voice chimed in unexpectedly, “It looks way too big for you… where’d you get it?”

Just about everyone turned to glance at Damon, sitting at the head of the table. Their father, usually the strong and silent type, hardly spoke, but when he did, his deep, commanding voice grabbed everyone’s attention. Jillian attempted to smile at her father, though it came out rather weak.

“Um, well...” She wracked her brain for an excuse that wouldn’t immediately give away the fact that she’d been in Jason’s room. Fortunately, her mother came to the rescue.

“Oh, sweetie, it’s just a shirt. Anyway, food’s ready. No more arguing. Let’s eat.” With that, she placed a large pot of spaghetti and a plate of garlic bread on the table. Jillian mouthed a “thank you” to her mother, who simply winked back before everyone dug into their meal.

Jason and his mom sat down together for dinner. Katia had whipped up a homemade meatloaf, fully loaded baked potatoes, and some steamed veggies. Jason had already devoured half the meatloaf, a baked potato, and close to 3 cups of veggies. His mother spoke up in the middle of their meal.

“Jason,” she interrupted the second potato of his feast that he held like a taco.

“Yeah mom?”

“Well, I couldn’t help but notice you and Jillian. You guys seemed to get along, but earlier, when you came home, you seemed a bit frustrated. What’s going on?” she asked gently, genuinely curious. Jason had taken a large bite of the potato and chewed slowly, buying himself some time to think of a response.

As Jason finally finished chewing his food, he let out a small sigh.

“Well, she’s definitely... interesting. She’s got some quirks that are different, but overall, I’d say she’s... nice, I guess,” he said casually, taking another bite, hiding the lie on his face with food. Katia, eager for his opinion, was hanging on his every word.

“Nice,” she echoed, her smile faltering slightly, but still held on mostly. “Oh, um, nice... well, nice is good. Yeah, nice is really good,” she babbled, unsure of what else to say. Jason just nodded, focusing back on his meal.

“Mmmhmm. Can I get another couple slices of meatloaf, please?” he said, raising his empty plate.

Katia smiled and nodded happily. “Sure thing, honey,” taking his plate like it was completely normal for someone to have such an enormous appetite.

“Have any plans for later tonight?” Katia asked as she cut up the meatloaf and plated it.

Jason let out a thoughtful hum. “Well, I was thinking maybe I’d go for a run, then cruise around town a bit, see what’s new, you know?” He shrugged, trying to think of random ideas to pass the time.

“Oh, maybe you could check out where the old drive-in used to be. They tore it down a few years ago and put up a huge strip mall,” Katia suggested, smiling.

“Sure, I guess that is something. Though I can’t believe they didn’t just build a regular mall or something,” he chuckled, noting the quirky differences of small-town life compared to where he lived now. Back near his workplace, there were like half a dozen malls within fifty miles, though he never really went to any of them.

Katia put his plate back down in front of him with two thick slices of meatloaf on it. Leaning over to plant a kiss on the side of his head, she whispered, “I’m so glad you’re home, Jason,” before wrapping her arms around him once more.

After dinner, Jillian headed back up to her room. She peeled off Jason’s oversized shirt and ditched her sweatpants and panties. Then grabbed a towel from her hamper and made her way to the bathroom. Starting the shower, she waited until the water was just warm enough before slipping in.

She briefly considered touching herself like she usually did during baths and showers, but the idea faded quickly. It was strange, because she usually needed release multiple times a day. But the intensity of Jason’s massage had left her feeling more than content. So she quickly washed her body and hair, finishing in near record time for her.

Little did she know, her surprisingly short shower had caught almost everyone in the house off guard. As the spigot was turned off, almost the entire family turned their head towards the bathroom like it was some sort of beacon. They were so accustomed to her taking at least forty minutes. Her mother even got so worried she made her way to the bathroom door and knocked on it.

“Jillian, is everything okay in there,” Ginny asked.

“Uhhh yeah, why?”

“Oh nothing sweetie, just checking on you.” Jillian thought that was rather weird. It wasn’t like she slipped and fell or anything. Shrugging, she quickly dried off.

Heading back to her room, she rifled through her closet for something to wear. After a quick search, she settled on a plain, black, tight-fitting long-sleeved top that cut off just above her midriff, showing off a bit of skin. Her stomach wasn’t concave after she did her best to eat as much as she could, but it certainly wasn’t bulging either. It was just okay at this point, mostly thanks to months of hard work. Pairing it with some purple yoga pants that had a black stripe down the sides, she laid everything out neatly on her bed. She glanced at herself in the mirror, then grabbed her comb to tackle the tangle of wet curls. Brushing them out now was a breeze with her leave in conditioner, but she knew they’d spring back into their usual curly nightmare once they dried.

After slipping into some panties and a bra, Jillian quickly put on the rest of her outfit. Using her makeup kit she applied some eyeliner, smokey eyeshadow, lash filler, a touch of soft pink lip gloss, with a subtle blush to match. Lastly she spritzed herself with her favorite perfume to top it off. With how much work she was putting in, one might think she would be a little satisfied with their look. Yet glancing at herself in the mirror, she couldn’t shake the feeling of deep dissatisfaction with her appearance. Despising the person she saw in the mirror. The reflection was a constant reminder of past mistakes and the abuses she suffered. Taking a moment to gather herself, she had to remind herself that tonight was supposed to be about having fun and unwinding. She hoped a few drinks would lift her spirits. With her phone tucked into the waistband of her yoga pants, she made her way downstairs.

“Daddy!?” she called out.

Jillian eventually found her father still sitting at the table with her mother and baby brother trying to crawl out of her arms. They seemed to be discussing something, her father seemingly unhappy with the topic.

“Hey dad?” Jillian called out again, catching his attention. “Would you mind taking me down to Mika’s pleeeease?” She asked with a sweet tone, intertwining her fingers and pressing them to her lap. She even threw in some puppy-dog eyes for effect.

Ginny laughed softly and gently squeezed her husband’s hand before getting up with Calvin in her arms. “Have fun, sweetie,” she said, knowing the man wouldn’t possibly say no to her.

Heading out into the living room to sit down, where Lonnie was watching cartoons and Reese was still glued to his phone. Damon rose slowly and gave his daughter a soft smile.

“Sure sweetheart.” Jillian returned the smile and hugged her father around the waist.

“Thank you, daddy,” she said sweetly as they made their way towards the front door.

Leaving the house, the two jumped into her dad’s SUV. It wasn’t super fancy, but it could fit most of the family, though squeezing in everyone meant someone usually ended up in the back, often the twins. Passing by the Merris house, Jillian glanced over and saw the same expensive SUV in the driveway, instantly thinking of Jason. Damon caught her looking over at Katia’s house with a strange expression. Ginny warned him that something was going on with her and Jason. He scowled slightly, but looked forward before Jillian noticed she had been caught.

Pulling up to the curb outside Mika’s tattoo parlor, a two-story building that doubled as her home, Jillian unbuckled her seatbelt. Before she could open the door, Damon spoke up.

“Jillian…” quietly trying to get her attention. She turned to look at her father, and they sat there for a moment. “I love you,” he finally said. Jillian smiled back.

“Love you too, Daddy.” Leaning over the center console, she gave her father a kiss on his scratchy cheek. He gave her hand a good squeeze before Jillian hopped out of the car. She waved at her father after she closed the door. He only drove off once she was safely inside the parlor.

The buzzing of needles greeted Jillian as the heavy pounding of a metal song blared from the speakers. In the lounge area, a girl with vibrant blue hair lounged on the couch, absorbed in her phone. Her black lipstick matched the multiple piercings adorning her lips, cheeks, nose, and eyebrow. She wore chunky goth boots and a mishmash of ripped black fishnet stockings, black skirt, and a loose dirty looking tank that barely covered her giant boobs.

“Hey Grace,” Jillian greeted with a smile. Grace only grunted in acknowledgment without looking up from her phone, feet propped up on the arm of the couch.

Moving further in, she approached the unattended front counter. The sound of a tattoo machine halted, followed by the snap of a rubber glove. Moments later, a man with a towering green mohawk and tattoos covering nearly every inch of his skin emerged. He had numerous piercings on his face, and Jillian vaguely recognized him as Grace’s current boyfriend. They seemed to practically live at the parlor. She couldn’t help but wonder what kind of jobs they had where they made enough money to get so much ink done. The rumor was they ran a porn site but she’d never seen the proof at least. The couple swiftly exited together, leaving the shop empty of customers that she could see.

The next person to step out of the stall was a petite Asian woman with almost black eyes, barely taller than Jillian. Her short black hair framed her face like curtains, hiding ears full of piercings and she sported dozens of small and large tattoos peeking out from under her tank top. A full sleeve of ink on her left arm.

“Oh shit, you’re here already. Who let you in?” she asked with a smile.

“Your mom bitch.” Jillian replied teasingly, returning the smile. “Busy day, Micky?”

“Call me Micky again, you’re spending tonight sober,” Mika retorted, sticking her tongue out playfully. Jillian chuckled and glanced at the other occupied stall.

“Who else is here?” she asked, leaning over to get a better look.

“Just Darren finishing up some color. He should be done soon. I’ll let him know to lock up,” Mika explained, jotting something down at the front desk.

“Wait, ask if he wants to join us!” Jillian suggested with a grin.

Mika looked up with a knowing smirk. “Bitch, you know he’s got like two girlfriends and a boyfriend, right? And I’m pretty sure you’re not his type. And he said he’s got plans already,” she teased, walking back to inform Darren.

Jillian playfully stuck her tongue out at Mika.

“Boooo, tell him he sucks! And that's so not even what I meant!” she groaned, then sighed. At least she’d have her best friend. She wanted to erase this shitty day with her weight in booze. Normally, she was more of a social drinker, but two’s company would suffice this time. Mika beckoned Jillian to follow her upstairs.

“Should’ve been here last night. There were so many people and my cousin started passing around balloons of nitrous,” she said, leading the way.

“Fuck... I’m so pissed my mom dragged me to that awful dinner now,” recalling the previous night with a deep frown. Mika raised an eyebrow, curious about what had really gone down at that dinner. Was she just upset about missing the party, or was it really that bad?

Mika opened the door to the second level, the main room had been turned into a bar/lounge. It was a bit messy from the night before, but thankfully, most of it had been cleaned up already. Mika strolled around the bar, eyeing her stock of booze.

“Shit, looks like we had more guests than I realized,” she muttered. Jillian immediately went into a panic mode.

“Please don’t tell me we’re out of alcohol!”

Mika shook her head reassuringly. “Nah, we’ve still got three beers and one of those flavored mix in bottles”

Jillian’s jaw dropped, frustration evident on her face. “That’s not gonna give either of us a buzz!” she complained loudly.

“Well, I’m not planning on drinking. I’ve had the Jager burps all day. No matter how much water I drink,” Mika said, shuddering at the flavor still lingering on her tongue.

Jillian didn’t take that news well.

“So now I’m supposed to get sad girl wasted while you sit there and sober watch?”

Mika sighed in response. “Fine, ya fuckin baby, I’ll have a beer, but just one.”

Jillian let out a huff. “Fine, I guess.”

Mika popped open two beers, and they each grabbed one as Jillian settled onto a bar stool. After their first sip, Mika jumped right in.

“So, who pissed in your potatoes at this dinner party?” She asked, leaning against the bar with her elbow and resting her head on her hand. Jillian took a swig of beer, grimacing at the taste.

“Do you remember Jason Merris from high school?” Jillian asked. Mika looked confused for a moment at the name, but seemed to remember eventually

“Vaguely. Wasn’t he the guy you were always messing with for some reason or another?” Mika replied, trying to recollect. “I think we may have had ‘a’ class together. Tall, fat, quiet guy in the front row. Yeah, I remember now. Why, what’s he got to do with the dinner?” she inquired.

“That’s the thing—it was his mom’s house!” Jillian blurted out, before gulping down the rest of her beer eager to get her buzz going.

“Oh? So what, is he still living at home with mommy?” Mika asked with a cruel laugh, trying to be supportive in her own way. Jillian’s frown deepened, she even seemed to be a little angry at her friend’s words.

“Uhh, guess that’s a no?” Mika wasn’t sure what she did wrong. Jillian let out a heavy sigh and shook her head.

“No, he is just visiting. I’m not sure, but I think our moms were trying to set us up.” At that, Mika opened another beer for her and Jillian took a long drink.

Jillian recounted the night and how it kicked off. With the moment they arrived, where Jason casually strolled past them shirtless and accidentally drenching himself with water. Mika’s laughter told Jillian that she was envisioning the same chubby guy he was in high school.

“Ugh, I wish I had a picture!” Jillian lamented with a sigh, earning a puzzled glance from Mika. Ignoring the confusion, Jillian kept the dinner details at a minimum, sparing Mika from the dull parts. By the time she’d reached the scene in the study, she’d already finished her second beer. Pouring some cola into a glass, she poured in the tiny bottle of flavored liquor in it.

“Then.. he said something...something…bad.” Her expression darkened as if she might tear up just retelling it.

“Well, what did he say?” Mika said still sipping her beer.

“He said... I-I should go throw up his mom’s cooking, and called me ungrateful,” Jillian replied, her lips trembling slightly, the alcohol loosening her emotions. Mika’s jaw dropped, her shock quickly turning to anger as she grabbed an ice pick from the bar.

“You mentioned he lives nearby, right?” The petite, black-haired woman looked deadly serious as she stepped out from behind the bar.

“Wait, wait!” Jillian grabbed Mika’s arm. “It’s okay, he—”

“It’s not okay, Jill. You don’t just tell someone with anorexia to go throw up. That’s like telling a former heroin addict they were better off on drugs.” Mika was obviously livid, but Jillian just sighed, clearly feeling the effects of the alcohol.

“I don’t think he realized...”

“Ignorance isn’t an excuse, Jill,” Mika argued, but Jillian held on.

“He… well he actually apologized. It seemed genuine...maybe… I deserved it for what I did anyway,” Jillian admitted, her words causing Mika’s anger to quickly shift to concern.

“Jill...”

As the drinks kicked in, Jillian only got more and more somber and reminiscent. Her grand plan of drowning her sorrows in alcohol to forget about Jason had backfired spectacularly.

“And then…,” she sniffed, slurring her words as she clung to Mika on the couch, her face buried in her friend’s stomach. “I kept calling him Staypuft for, like, a whole month. I even had one of the guys put a sign on his back that said it!”

Mika sighed, patting her back sympathetically.

“There, there, it will be alright, forgive and forget,” she spoke in a monotone while checking her phone with her free hand, “I am way too sober for this shit.” This was about the twentieth time Jillian had recounted some regrettable high school escapade involving Jason. Eyeing the clock, Mika realized it was still quite early.

“I changed my mind, if I’m gonna be your therapist, I am gonna need more alcohol. Let’s go hit up the store, weepy,” Mika suggested, prompting a groan from Jillian, who sniffled and wiped her tears on Mika’s shirt. As they both got up, she couldn’t help but notice the wet spot on her shirt.

“Ugh really Jill?” she said, shaking her head. But seeing her friend’s dejected expression, she quickly relented. “Uggh just forget it, let’s go.”

They made their way outside, ready to fetch some more booze to drown Jillian’s sorrows and keep Mika sane.

Jason went for another run to burn off the massive amount of calories from dinner. It was damn near impossible to resist the urge to overeat now that he was back home. On some level, he was self aware of how bad it was for him. Yet it didn’t stop the rest of his brain from telling him to eat as much as possible. The guilt always hit afterwards, making him work that much harder to counteract his horrible eating habits. After his extended run, he was once again drenched in sweat. Heading inside, he wiped himself down with a cool towel but not much else.

Taking his mom’s advice, he decided to go out and see what had become of his hometown. Driving around town, he mostly checked out the new areas. The majority were just new homes that popped up. There were a few new stores and gas stations but not much else. The strip mall was also pretty disappointing, filled mostly with stores like cellphone shops, pawn shops, and places to sell gold, typical strip mall garbage. The realization quickly hit him as he was looking around, he had no idea why he was even bothering to look around? Not sure why he even half expected this small town to change in any dramatic way.

Jason quickly grew bored with sightseeing and just wanted to go back home to try and get some nostalgia with his old computer. As he headed home, his gas light flickered on. Pulling in at the nearest station, he figured he might as well refuel in case he headed to the city later. Maybe he would treat his mom to dinner. She was the only reason he came back after all. Parking at the pump, he started to fill up his car, finding himself alone despite the early evening hour. The quiet nights were the best thing about being home.

Leaning back against his car, he gazed up to see a brilliant starry sky. Lost in thought till the sound of giggling broke his concentration. Curious, he glanced towards the noise, momentarily stunned by the two women exiting the mini-mart.

“Wait, is that?” he thought to himself, but the name came out a little louder than he intended

“Jillian?” he muttered. The red head’s name caught the attention of both Mika and Jillian.

“Jason?!” Jillian exclaimed, clearly surprised, while Mika, equally astonished, looked back and forth between them.

“Jason?... Wait, that’s that Jason?!” She blurted out in slight disbelief.