Two Weeks Between Love and Hate

As the day went on, the sun continued to move across the sky. Jillian made a tiny whimper and barely opened her eyes. She pressed herself even more into his lap and against his chest. Even grabbing his other arm, wrapping it around her as well. The extra warmth caused a wide grin to spread across her face like a fiend. With another happy sigh, she quickly fell back to sleep. Another half hour went by before Jason began to wake up. He groaned painfully as his back ached from the awkward sleeping position.

Blinking his eyes open slowly, he looked down and spotted the top of Jillian’s head. She was cozily nestled in his lap, her head snuggling against his chest. This moment felt entirely different from the chaos when he woke up this morning. He didn’t recall exactly when he had wrapped his other arm around her, but her slight shivers made it clear why it was. Shifting one arm away from her to rub his tired eyes, he heard Jillian murmur in protest, evidently missing the warmth that the arm had provided. A soft chuckle escaped him as he checked his watch.

“Shit, it’s already been two hours,” he whispered to himself, somewhat amazed they’d slept so long out in public.

Jason groaned, “No wonder my back is killing me.”

He tried to shift his position, which made Jillian suddenly clutch his shirt tighter. She was trembling in his lap, and it didn’t seem like it was just because of the cold. As he looked down at her, hearing her mumble something barely audible.

“P-please...Don’t go...Take me...With...”

Her words were soft, filled with a longing that made Jason frown with concern. He couldn’t help but wonder who, or what, she might be dreaming about. Was it an ex-boyfriend? The thought made his mood sour for a moment. But then, he considered, what if she was dreaming about him? After all, they’d had their fair share of moments where she might want to be taken away by him.

“Please... Papi... no,” Jillian mumbled in her sleep, clinging tighter to his shirt.

All pleasant thoughts and feelings dashed with those simple words. He couldn’t help the scowl that appeared on his face, relieved she couldn’t see his expression. Even though he knew he shouldn’t feel this way, a wave of jealousy hit him hard. The thought of her dreaming about another guy while resting in his lap was, to put it mildly, infuriating. Why was she here if she was still hung up on this Papi? He guessed she was probably dealing with a bad breakup and was still in love with her ex. Regardless, it wasn’t exactly making Jason feel great.

He awkwardly shifted to avoid scratching his back on the tree bark as he lifted Jillian into his arms. With a burst of leg strength, he pushed himself up and started walking home, his mind a whirlwind of unfamiliar emotions and questions. “Who’s this Papi? What do I mean to her? Why do I even care...?” He mulled over these thoughts, walking faster and faster. Soon, Jillian slowly woke up, blinking sleepily and yawning loudly.

“Mmmm, what’s happening?” Jillian grumbled, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and giving Jason a sleepy smile. But Jason didn’t look down at her.

“We’re heading home,” he said, trying to keep his tone even. Jillian sensed something was off from his tone right away and narrowed her eyes at him.

“Jason... is everything okay?” She felt him tense up as he held her.

“Yeah, it’s just late, and I thought we should get going,” Jason replied, still attempting to hide his emotions. But Jillian wasn’t fooled; she knew the signs well already and could tell he was upset about something. She definitely didn’t want another stupid misunderstanding to get in the way.

“Jason, stop. Let me down!” Jillian squirmed, trying to get out of his grasp.

“Why? What’s up?” Jason asked, a bit puzzled. But noticing she was trying to worm her way out of his grasp, he gently placed her on the ground. Once her feet touched the ground, Jillian straightened her clothes and huffed in exasperation.

“Alright, what the hell is wrong now?” she said, hands on her hips, looking up at him.

Jason gave her a confused look and played dumb, “What are you on about?”

Let’s be clear, Jason was terrible at lying. It was one of the many reasons he usually stuck to the truth. Avoiding eye contact, his eyes darted around, giving him away instantly.

Jillian was so not having it. She let out a big sigh, wound up her fist, and landed a punch right in his stomach.

“Ow!” she yelped, clutching her wrist right after. This made Jason look back at her, a bit surprised at the light smack he felt on his abs.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked, eyebrow cocked. Jillian shot him a look, slightly annoyed.

“I was trying to knock some sense into your stupid head, but it’s too high up, so I settled for your stupid stomach.” She snapped, while trying to shake off the pain in her hand.

“Christ, what do you eat, friggin’ lead weights for breakfast? Feels like I just broke my damn hand.” She was laying it on thick, but her punch technique needed serious work and her wrist had bent awkwardly upon impact.

“You tried to punch me in the gut?” Jason looked at her, more amused than offended now.

“I’ll have you know I get hit in the gut with medicine balls all the time while conditioning. I barely felt what you did, haha. Here, let me see your hand,” reaching out, to examine it.

“No! That’s cheating! And you’re just going to make it worse, and tease me about it!” Jillian pulled back, doing her best to keep her injured hand out of his grasp.

“I’m not going to make it worse. I just want to check if you really hurt yourself,” he insisted, trying again to reach for her hand. But she wasn’t having any of it, twisting and turning to avoid him.

“No!” she yelled, moving away, trying her best to stay out of his reach.

“Jillian, hold still damnit!” Jason grumbled, chasing after her.

“Never!” Jillian shot back, darting away.

“Will you calm down you stupid brat! You’re making a scene.”

“I don’t care! Leave me alone!” she screeched. Jason finally caught her around the mid-section with one arm, lifting her up before she could escape.

“Noooo, let me go!” she protested, kicking wildly.

“Why the hell are you being so damn difficult? I’m trying to help!” he said, trying to keep her flailing legs away from him by bending back. Just then, an unfamiliar voice chimed in.

“Hey, let her go!” They both looked over to see a guy in a button up Hawaiian shirt and clean blue jeans, flip-flops, and topped off with a Colorado Rockies cap. Just an average joe, apart from the slight dad bod, which actually made him look even more average.

“It’s alright, sir, she’s just being a bit of a brat right now, we know each other. I promise nothing bad is going on aside from her attitude,” Jason tried to calm the worried passerby.

“That sounds mighty suspicious, if you ask me. The way you are holding her and the way she is trying to escape, it sure looks bad,” the man observed, his phone in hand, seemingly ready to call the police.

“Please sir, I assure you-“ Jason began politely, but Jillian was done with this guy’s interference.

“Dude, fuck off! I’m fine. Mind your own damn business,” she snapped, clearly annoyed. She had stopped wiggling and kicking and was calmly letting Jason hold her now. Both the stranger and Jason were stunned by her sudden and blunt outburst.

The man, now visibly upset, scowled and retorted, “I was just trying to help, no need to be rude.”

“Yeah, sure, thanks, bye!” Jillian grumbled loudly at the man as he walked away, her plan ruined by some idiot.

Jason gently set Jillian back on the ground, completely baffled.

“What the hell was that!?” he was very confused by the sudden shift in behavior. She sighed, massaging her forehead with the hand she had pretended was injured.

“I just wanted things to go back to how they were before we woke up and you got quiet,” she explained, sounding defeated.

“So, your big plan was to throw a tantrum after faking an injury... because you thought I was being too quiet?“ while he couldn’t hide his confusion. A smile slowly came back to Jillian’s face.

“Well... do you still feel as grumpy as you did before?” she probed, looking up at him shyly.

“Grumpy? Since when have I been grumpy?!” Jason couldn’t help but sound a little offended.

“Yeah, you seemed a bit off... What’s bothering you, Jason? Please, tell me. I promise I won’t tease you or anything. I wanna be a person you can at least share with,” Jillian’s big blue eyes looking up at him, full of concern. Jason met her gaze, though he still looked troubled. With a deep sigh, he realized he couldn’t hide his feelings from her anymore.

“It’s just...” He hesitated, turning his head slightly, but before he could look away, Jillian reached up and gently turned his face back toward her.

Jillian’s bright smile, with cute freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks, stared up at him. “Shit, when did I start thinking her freckles were cute?!” his brain screamed at him. Back in college, he had a completely different attitude towards people with freckles and red hair, basically looking down on them. There was even a time he got reported for harassment by rejecting a girl who dyed her hair red way too harshly. It made him tone down his hatred a notch or two, outwardly at least. But now, looking into Jillian’s eyes, he found himself completely lost in the swirls of blue.

Feeling his mouth go dry, Jason cleared his throat and gently took hold of Jillian’s wrists, pulling her hands away from his face. Except he didn’t let go of her.

“It’s just...” he started again the same way but paused. Her smile remained, showing she was glad he was opening up. “I am not your Papi...”

The change in her expression was hard to describe. It was instant and visceral. Her lower lip trembled, and her expression shifted to fear as she struggled to speak.

“W-where did you hear that name?” she barely managed to say, yanking her arms free from his hold. Jason looked a bit worried at her reaction.

“Oh... Well, you said it in your sleep... You seemed really... um, eager to see whoever he is.”

Jillian took a deep, shaky breath. She couldn’t believe she had said that name or even dreamed about him. She never remembered her dreams, and now she was more than happy she never did. But since Jason had arrived it felt like all she did was dream.

“I... I did?” her heart racing at this point.

“Yeah... It sounded like you were calling out for him. I mean, if it’s someone you are still in love with I understand but…” She quickly shook her head, not wanting him to continue that line of thought. Jillian hugged herself, her head tilting forward, and closed her eyes. Her whole body shaking like a leaf as she thought about what Jason had said. Her mind was filled with shock and fear. Why was he still haunting her dreams? Even after so many months, it was as if her subconscious still yearned for him without her even realizing it.

Jillian eventually looked back up at Jason, trying to hold back her tears. She was so tired of crying in front of him.

“Jason, I’m so sorry. I can’t explain everything, but please know I want nothing to do with that man anymore. He means nothing to me, and I’d be happier if I never heard or spoke his name again,” she said, as tears started to escape her eyes. Jason’s frown deepened, seeing the pain in her eyes. It was clear this man, this Papi, had caused her to suffer.

“Please, you have to believe me,” Jillian pleaded. Jason raised a hand to stop her.

“You don’t need to explain anything to me. I mean. . . It’s not like there’s anything going on between us,” he said bluntly, leaving Jillian a bit blindsided.

Jillian and Jason were trying to convince themselves they felt nothing, but it was clear they were both, in one way or another, in denial. She was scared she might lose herself in Jason. She knew she was emotionally fragile, a fact that haunted her. If things took a turn for the worse and she wound up hurt, she could see herself back in that situation she’d fought so hard to escape. But…she couldn’t take the overwhelming need to be close to someone since Jason came back into her life. She needed his warmth, his touch, she just needed him, even if it meant nothing.

Jillian looked down and spoke quietly, “Yeah... Nothing at all.” They were both avoiding eye contact, lost in an awkward silence. The two stood there in silence as she quickly recomposed herself, taking big calming breaths trying to wipe a few tears away from her face. Jason seemed to wait patiently for her, looking away to not stare at her vulnerable state. Once she was sufficiently calm, Jillian threw a curveball.

“Since… since neither of us have feelings for each other. Then there wouldn’t be any harm in fooling around, right?”

For Jillian, lust was much less complicated and an easier emotion to understand. Jason’s head snapped back to her. She had a small, mischievous smirk while still brushing away a few tears.

“Excuse me!?” he exclaimed. She couldn’t help but laugh, looking up at him with a full on grin now.

“Come on, Jason, I know you’re not that blind. I certainly am not. We both obviously find each other attractive. And since there’s nothing between us, then why not mess around with no strings attached?” She spoke in a confidant tone, like this wasn’t her first time suggesting something like this.

“Hold on, hold on, hold on. Are you seriously suggesting we...um, hook up, right after we just dealt with all this drama?” Jason crossed his arms as they talked.

“Why not? As long as everything is consensual, what’s the issue? You’re definitely attracted to me, and you aren’t so bad yourself. And if you say you’re not, I swear I’ll call you out every time you check out my butt from now on,” Jillian challenged him, hands on her hips. Her wide, lovely hips bulging out of her skimpy track shorts. A throat clear and a hand gesture pointing up caught Jason’s attention, leading him to look up and see a grin on her face.

“Look, I dunno about you, but it’s been ages since I got any, and I honestly miss it. Since we won’t get attached, we can just fuck while you are here on vacation and when you leave, you won’t ever hear from me again.“

Jason stared at the woman in disbelief as she casually spoke.

It looked like Jason wasn’t the only one who was considering how little time he had in this town. Jillian was aware, but was still offering him all these things. It was objectively a good deal, just enjoying physical pleasures whenever he wanted. But why did it feel like a hollow win? It was likely due to his father’s influence, who had been a devoted family man before he passed. Constantly talking about finding the right woman who would be his one and only. Like some fairytale romance would one day come his way. But in today’s world, that seemed impossible.

Women felt so picky, and many men struggled to measure up or just gave up completely. Jason though, he seemed to fit the bill for many women. With his height and muscle mass, it was like they were drawn to him. If he wasn’t so rude to them and choosy, he probably would have a lot more experience by now.

Jason found himself at a loss for words in front of Jillian. He almost blurted out a no, but hesitated.

“Can I... think about it?” he asked, caught off guard by his own uncertainty. Jillian’s smile only grew.

“I knew you’d say that,” she teased, sticking out her tongue and giving him a wink. Without waiting for another word, she practically leaped into his arms, which he reflexively caught her in. He tried to look annoyed, but Jillian just laughed and playfully patted his cheek.

“You’re so cute when you’re pretending to be mad,” she teased. Jason could only roll his eyes and let out a resigned sigh.

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, adjusting his hold to a princess carry as they set off for home.

He picked up the pace as they walked past his house, not really wanting his mother to see what he was doing. As if her asking about his love life every single time they talked over the phone wasn’t bad enough. She was way more invested in it than he was. It got Jillian to giggle a little as he sped up.

“Don’t want your mom to see our passionate embrace?” teasing him even more with a wide grin.

“I just don’t wanna get bombarded with questions about us or, god forbid the whole, when are you gonna give me grandchildren guilt trip.” He said with a groan, making her laugh.

“Haha, right? I swear my mom has an attic full of baby clothes stored away. Some are still brand new. Labeled, ‘for my least disappointing child’.” Their mothers were very similar it seemed, which was probably why the two were such close friends. They shared a good laugh together when Jillian compared their desire for grandchildren to that of an addict jonesing for a fix.

Walking up to the house, Jason put her down when they got to the driveway.

“Thanks for the ride, big guy. You coming in?” She asked, trying to sound casual. But he shook his head.

“No, I promised my mom I’d take her out for dinner tonight.”

“Oooh, okay. Sorry for bringing up fooling around before you leave for that. Not that I want you to stop thinking about it. But have a good night, Jason,” she said with a smile and waved at him as she headed inside.

“Yeah, thanks, you too, Jillian.” Jason said sarcastically, before turning and giving a little wave behind his back.

“Hey Jason!” Jillian called, running back to him. As he turned around, Jason gave her a curious look. She made sure the coast was clear, then gestured for him to come closer, as if she had a juicy secret to share. He instinctively leaned in.

“What is it?” he whispered. With a playful smirk, she reached up and tugged him down by the neck, planting a kiss on his cheek, her soft lips parting from his cheek with a loud smack.

“Thanks for believing in me,” she whispered into his ear before they both stepped back. Jason stared at her wide eyed, struck dumb for a moment. Jillian just giggled, waved again, and dashed inside the house.

Jason was momentarily spellbound as he watched her hustle into the house, captivated not just by her jiggling behind, but by her entire presence. Snapping out of his daze, he walked away, but something nudged him to look back. When he did, he caught sight of her on the second floor, her red hair loose, face beaming. She waved goodbye to him. He took a deep breath, finally breaking into a slight smile himself, and waved back. As she leaned on the windowsill looking down at him, he turned and started back down the road.

About an hour before Jason and Jillian got back home, the house echoed with the sound of a gruff teenage boy’s voice.

“Mom!...Mom!...Mooooooom!” he called out, his voice bouncing off the walls. Ginny, coming out from the nursery, whisper-yelled back, eye twitching, visibly annoyed.

“What!?” Her eldest son, or at least one of them, stood across the room, clad in his letterman jacket. He hurried over, his voice a notch too loud.

“Mom, you won’t believe what I saw at the park today!”

“Shhhhhhh! For goodness’ sake, Reese. Calvin just fell asleep. If you wake him up, you’re on crib duty,” Ginny warned him, her voice a mix of frustration and desperation. Reese immediately toned it down, now aware of the consequence.

“Right, well, I was at the park with Felicia, and we were... uh, never mind that,” he said, brushing off the details with a quick wave of his hand.

“Come on, Reese, out with it. I’m trying to sneak in a nap while the baby’s asleep,” Ginny urged her son, trying not to roll her eyes. She was bracing herself for yet another tale of his mis-adventures. Much as she loved him, Reese’s self-centered stories could really test her patience.

“Okay, so we were walking around, right? And our usual spot under that big tree was taken. So, we were looking for another place to go.”

Ginny was about to lose it. She tried to zone the teen out, hoping for a moment of peace, but then she heard a name that caught her attention.Ginny quickly grabbed her son’s shoulder, snapping him to attention.

“Hold on, hold on. What about your sister?” she prompted him to clarify.

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I was just walking in the park and...” Reese began again.

“Just tell me about your sister, Reese,” Ginny interrupted, her eye twitching again.

“I am! I swear I saw Jill making out with some random guy under this tree. I mean, who else in this stupid small town has red curls, right?”

Ginny’s eyes widened in shock. They were already making out? Was the run just an excuse to be alone? So many questions flooded her mind.

“Reese, was the guy she was with tall? Did he have black hair? Muscular?” she fired off multiple questions, causing her son to pause for a moment.

“Uh, I mean, I didn’t really get a good look at him. I didn’t want to watch my sister sucking face with some rando, so I didn’t stick around long. But yeah, I think his hair was dark,” Reese said, making a face as he tried to use what little brain power he had. Ginny beamed and did a small happy dance.

“Oh, Reese, you’re the best! Such a good boy,” Ginny said, playfully grabbing her son’s face and peppering it with kisses.

“Mom, quit it!” Reese protested, trying to dodge her affection. Ginny suddenly stopped and gasped.

“I have to tell Kat!” Ginny yelled and just like that, Reese was forgotten and left behind as his mother dashed across the room to find her phone. The boy was very confused and wondered why the hell she was so excited about her daughter kissing a stranger. At least, he thought she was. His eyesight was getting bad, but there was no way he would be caught dead in glasses.

“Man, I hope I don’t go crazy when I am that old.”

Shaking his head he retreated to his room.

Later that night, Jason stepped into the fancy steakhouse, decked out in a sharp, deep gray suit and tie. His hair was styled neatly, with just a hint of gel giving it a slick look. His face was shaven clean and by his side was a stunning mature woman.

“Oh, honey, are you sure about this? I feel so out of place,” she said, glancing nervously at the well-dressed crowd of people enjoying their meals. Despite being dressed in a gorgeous red silk evening gown herself.

“Haha, yes, I’m sure. I told you, I wouldn’t want to be here with anyone else,” Jason replied, looking down at her with a smile. She hugged his arm tightly.

“I swear, you’re the sweetest son in the world.” Katia clung to Jason’s arm tight as they were led to their table.

The two sat at their table, ordering drinks and browsing the menu, enjoying some light conversation while deciding what they wanted to eat. Katia suddenly lowered her voice to speak in a half whisper, like it was a secret.

“Jason, sweetheart, I want you to be honest with me,” she said, leaning in slightly. “Remember, I’m your mom, and I’m always in your corner.” She grinned at her own boxing reference. Jason laughed softly, and put down his menu, intrigued by her seriousness.

“What’s up, mom?”

Katia took a deep breath, clearly nervous. “I have to ask, and I won’t tell anyone. I swear... what are your intentions with Jillian? Oh gosh, I said it,” she blurted out, her cheeks turning red with embarrassment.

Jason’s expression shifted slightly, clearly uncomfortable. She had just asked him if he liked Jillian the other day, and his response had been pretty vague. Now, she was probing further and more aggressively; she seemed to know something was going on between them. Naturally, Jillian’s offer came rushing back to his mind at that moment, and he attempted to mask his embarrassment by taking a long sip of his imported beer, needing a moment to gather himself.

“Um, well... I...” he began, noticing his mother leaning in with anticipation written all over her face. “Mom, why do you think I have any intentions with Jillian?”

Reflecting on it, it seemed like his entire visit had been subtly nudging him towards spending time with her.

Katia’s initial confidence faltered, and she leaned back in her seat, absently toying with a few strands of hair.

“Oh... um, well, you see,” she began, her tone hesitant as she searched for the right words. “It’s just that... you’re turning 27 this year, Jason, and you’ve never even mentioned a passing interest in a girl to me. I started to wonder... well...” She trailed off, unsure how to continue.

Jason tried to complete his mother’s sentence, “If I was gay?”

“N-n-no, I mean, it’d be okay if you were... but what I’m getting at is, you never seem to talk about women in a positive way when we chat. It’s always complaints about this lady did this or that lady did that darn thing.”

Of course, his actual word were much more colorful.

Katia frowned as she continued, “I just thought, you know, since Ginny’s my best friend and I heard her daughter was single and back home, maybe you two would... hit it off? You two have been talking and spending a lot of time together and it seemed, well…”

She paused, glancing back up at Jason. “I’m sorry, sweetie. We didn’t mean any harm. It’s just mothers looking out for their children… Are you angry at me?” she said meekly.

Jason let out a sigh and shook his head. “No, I’m not angry, mom. I half expected something like this from you, to be honest.”

Katia looked surprised by his response. Jason chuckled at her expression.

“What? You’re always asking if I am dating anyone or checking if there is someone I’m interested in. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard the grandchildren-before-I’m-too-old speech in the last two years.”

Katia’s cheeks flushed, and she nervously bit her lip. Jason simply smiled, reaching out to take his mom’s hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“It’s okay, Mom. I get it. I just haven’t found the right girl yet.” Katia’s eyes widened from her son’s words, her mouth hanging open in mild surprise.

“Does… that mean...” She hesitated, her own words catching in her throat. “You’re not interested in Jillian?” Her voice trailed off sadly.

Jason sighed, giving his mother’s hand another gentle squeeze and shaking his head. “Not... in the way you want me to be, Mom. I’m sorry,” trying to speak softly.

“Wait, then why were you kissing her in the park!?” Katia blurted out, then immediately covered her mouth. That wasn’t supposed to come out. Jason looked genuinely confused.

“What? We never kissed in the park?” Katia still looked shocked; she could easily tell when her son was lying, and this wasn’t a lie.

“But... but Ginny said... she said that he said...” Katia’s face turned beet red as she stumbled over her words.

“I don’t know where you heard we were kissing in the park, but I promise we weren’t. . .”

Katia lowered her head in shame. The waiter came over to take their order, and Jason sent him away for a few more minutes.

Jason sighed as he looked wearily at his mother. “Mom... Look, I do like Jillian, I can honestly say she’s probably gotten closer to me than just about any girl ever has. But I still don’t think it’s going anywhere. We’re just too different.”

He barely noticed his mom looking at him with a strange expression.

“Sweetie...” Katia began.

“Yeah mom?” He answered, reaching out to grab a slice of bread from the basket on their table.

“Are you still a virgin, dear?”

Her question was like a deafening explosion that made his ears ring.