Two-Dimensional Heroic Girls

In the kitchen of Yazuki's home, he was currently mixing together a variety of seasoning ingredients.

That's right—he was making ramen himself.

Could it be that he was secretly a master chef? Of course not. In reality, this ramen was the only dish he could make with any real skill.

Salt, MSG, soy sauce, vinegar, chili oil, sesame oil, sugar, chopped pickled mustard sprouts, spring onions, and more—all being combined in precise ratios for seasoning.

Next to him, a pot of bone broth had been simmering for over two hours.

As a crucial part of ramen, the soup base was essential. He ladled a bit out to mix with the sauce for taste-testing.

Over on another stove, the minced meat topping had just finished cooking—it had an enticing tea-brown hue, ready for the next step.

With almost everything prepared, all that was left was to boil the water, cook the noodles until just right, and then pour the scalding broth, seasoning, and meat over them. That would complete the dish.

Haa— he let out a breath. What a pain.

This was why Yazuki didn't really enjoy cooking, too time-consuming and exhausting. So, why was he going through the trouble of cooking for the leftover woman Hiratsuka?

It definitely wasn't just because she gave him a ride. No way it was that simple. This was his small way of thanking her for searching for him and worrying while he'd been missing.

So, how did Hiratsuka the spinster first get a taste of his ramen?

It happened on the anniversary of his mother's passing.

Since his mom had loved ramen, he had made it in her memory. That was when that woman showed up for a home visit and shamelessly freeloaded a bowl.

He dipped some of the meat into the sauce and gave it a taste.

Mmm, savory, sour, spicy—the meat was crispy and flavorful.

Not bad at all. Looks like his ramen game hadn't deteriorated.

"Pfft—!"

Suddenly, Yazuki spat out what was in his mouth. Was it because the flavor had gone bad? Tasted weird?

Nope.

The reason was the suddenly seductive figure emerging from the bathroom.

It was Hiratsuka—the old hag—fresh from a bath, wearing only one of his slightly oversized shirts. The shirt was long, but not that long—it barely covered anything. Her long, fair, shapely legs were completely exposed, glistening with water droplets that reflected the light, emphasizing her smooth skin.

But that wasn't the main problem.

The shirt she was wearing had a cartoon character's face printed on it. And on her body, it looked tight, stretching the cartoon face and making its eyes bulge out in very questionable ways.

"What? Did it not taste right?"

Hiratsuka, seemingly misunderstanding something, took a few brisk steps and was suddenly right next to Yazuki.

The fragrance from her freshly bathed body wafted into his nose, almost like a drug that numbed his brain.

Wait, wasn't she in the bath for an absurd amount of time?

Actually, she had gone back to her own place mid-shower to grab some alcohol and then came back to take over his bathroom without a word.

Looking at her now... she kinda had the vibe of a stunning beauty? No, no, no—don't fall for it! This was a nearing-thirty, real-life old hag!

"Mmm~ Wow—this is amazing~!"

After tasting a bit of the ramen, Hiratsuka let out a childlike squeal of delight, looking like she had ascended to food heaven.

"Tastes perfect to me! Don't be too hard on yourself. This ramen of yours is easily the best I've ever had."

She patted her student encouragingly, thinking Yazuki was being overly critical of his cooking. She was clearly eager to dig in—she was a ramen fanatic, after all.

Hmm? Something seemed off about this kid's behavior.

"Can you, like, not do this? Hiratsuka ol—"

Hiratsuka old hag.

"Hmm?"

Her eyes turned fierce, and she cracked her neck with an audible crack.

"Hiratsuka-sensei."

"That's better. Good boy~"

Now, what did he want her to pay attention to? Was there something wrong with her?

Hiratsuka looked down at herself.

Hmm? Uh—!

Oh. Right. She'd gotten too used to being comfortable at home. Now that she was at her student's place, she hadn't changed that casual habit.

No wonder his eyes had been darting all over the place.

"What? You're shy? Don't tell me you're falling for your teacher~?"

Though she was also feeling deeply embarrassed inside, this was too good of an opportunity to tease him. Honestly, if she were ten years younger, she would definitely make this guy hers, marry him, and have him cook ramen for her every day.

And judging by the way she was teasing him, Yazuki could tell she was just messing with him.

So, he hit back with a soul-crushing line while giving her dead-fish eyes.

"Please, you're almost thirty, right? You're about to fall apart, soon you'll start sag—"

"BAM—!"

A world-class punch landed in Yazuki's gut, knocking all the air out of his lungs and leaving his intestines twisted in pain.

Gone was the elegant beauty-from-the-bath look. Hiratsuka now had the fierce aura of a yakuza boss lady, clenching her fists until they popped.

"Hmph, you think you can take me on? You're a hundred years too early, kid."

With that icy snort, she turned to go change into proper clothes—but just then, an unexpected earthquake shook the ground beneath her feet. Add in the water droplets on the floor, and…

She slipped.

Falling straight onto Yazuki.

"Mm—!"

"Mm—!"

Their eyes met. They could feel each other's breath up close.

To Yazuki, this felt a lot like that situation from before, when he accidentally got into a similar tangle with that dumb blonde dog—but now the roles were reversed.

Her soft limbs pressed against his body, and he could clearly feel the two mountains of hers pressing in. Looking at her face—a classic beauty with a hint of mystery—she had wide, stunned eyes.

Honestly, he was stunned too.

The next moment, a rosy blush spread across her cheeks.

"UWAAHH—!"

Like a panicked schoolgirl, she shrieked and fled the scene in flustered retreat, leaving only a faint sweet scent in the air and the lingering taste of slightly sweet, slightly bitter alcohol on his lips.

W-What was that even?! Wasn't she supposed to be the raging older woman type, ready to beat the crap out of him?

Why was the vibe suddenly all sweet and youthful?

Don't do this to him! This wasn't the Hiratsuka Shizuka he knew—the scary old hag!

Wasn't she supposed to smack him around right now?

Threaten him with death or something?

Now, with her acting like this "Cute Shizuka," how the heck was he supposed to fight back?